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3 Sep 2010, 10:38 AM BST
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Ownership and M/s Weblogs
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→ Kitten's Paw Prints In Slavery | 3 Sep 2010 | 2:00am GMT
It seems that when things actually happen, they all happen at once.
Tomorrow is my half day at work, which is awesome. So I will be home before 1pm, and be able to spend some extra time with my Hubby. Then, in the evening, we are having dinner with His mother, her husband, her husband’s son, and his son’s fiance. My mother-in-law’s husband is originally from a different state, and only moved down here to be with her. So all of his family is of course, still in his home state.
They are coming down for the weekend, and for one reason or another want to see us. So that’s how dinner came about. I am honestly not sure how the night is going to go, but I’m going to do...
→ The Heron Clan | 2 Sep 2010 | 11:11pm GMT
We've written, in the last days, about our efforts to manage Master's use of alcohol. We've turned to our power exchange dynamic, switching the balance, to allow me to act in the role of disciplinarian as a support to His efforts. It has not been a smooth process, and He has fought and raged and violated the various limits that I've imposed. He's been furiously angry with me, not understanding ( in the grip of one drink too many) why He couldn't have what He wanted when He wanted it.As our agreement has specified, I have imposed limits, endured His stormy moods, and then implemented the agreed upon disciplinary spankings when the circumstances have warranted that. ...
→ "...because you can't be ugly, | 2 Sep 2010 | 8:26pm GMT
Based on one of the posts in a group We belong to on FetLife, someone sent a message asking about the Law of Attraction. We wrote more than We intended, but it just kinda flowed out... which tells Us that it really wasn't so much "me" writing, but "Us". So, We thought posting it here would be useful... We often look back at what We believed some time ago to see how We have changed.-----The Law of Attraction, in the most basic terms, is about heart-felt visualization of what you want your life to be like and contain. It's rather like "positive thinking" on speed. Not only do you think positively, you spend energy visualizing the picture and exploring emotions...
→ The Heron Clan | 2 Sep 2010 | 4:42pm GMT
swan asked me this morning, in the chat that you can read here, to write about the anger I experienced two nights ago when she "called it" and said I could not have another drink. I had reached the limit that was healthy for me.I don't know exactly what I can say about this that is insightful. She imposed the limit and I became enraged and simply nuts (totally demonstrating the wisdom of her decision, if not that she should have "called it" sooner). I was a completely abusive asshole. I have been severely whipped for it and we are going to have no further recurrences of this.I was fine last night, especially in the aftermath of the research I did about the effects of alcohol after gastric by...
→ The Heron Clan | 2 Sep 2010 | 4:04pm GMT
As the post I wrote this morning said, yesterday's success in our quest for me to achieve alcoholic moderation was precipitated to a significant extent by my researching clinical studies about how patients who have undergone gastric bypass surgery react to drinking alcohol. It turns out I was misinformed. There was a colleague of mine who had undergone gastric bypass surgery about a year ahead of me. As I was making up my mind about deciding to have that surgery myself, I asked him about drinking after the surgery. He said it was fine, that the effects were somewhat more intense but that you would be completely sober 45 minutes later. This apparently was what his medical professionals told h...
→ The Heron Clan | 2 Sep 2010 | 12:12pm GMT
For the first time in three days I am sitting here (and quite uncomfortably sitting by the way) and I am not ashamed of myself for the previous night's behavior. I think we turned a corner yesterday in terms of my accepting the need for swan to exert control and my not trying to resist and punish her for that. Yes I got my second severe punishment whipping last night in as many days for the previous night's behavior (when she called an end to my drinking the night before as we'd agreed I became enraged and was absolutely horrid) but I won't have to be whipped again tonight. I was quite good and we had a very good and loving close evening last night after a very nice dinner out with our t.Cru...
→ Kitten's Paw Prints In Slavery | 2 Sep 2010 | 1:11am GMT
Since I started in my new department, since I am obviously still learning a lot, most days I’m sitting there and finish with most of my work by my lunch break. I then spend the rest of the afternoon scrapping for work, or basically just doing small stuff to kill time.
Today was my first busy day. And apparently I’m learning more than I thought, because my trainer (who was thankfully back in the office) didn’t have to say much. I was doing most of it on my own.
I think I just like knowing she’s there in case there is a question, because unlike my last position at this company, there are a lot of variables.
But she says I’m doing well, so that’s a good thing...
→ Truesub's Journal | 2 Sep 2010 | 12:03am GMT
yes, this is for my Sweet Sami, the one I have never met but feel like I know intimately...happy birthday, little one...the one who makes me smile and cry and want to hold and love you like a momma hugs her baby, like a little girl holds a kitten, just like your Papa loves you...we are sisters. kisses.
→ The Heron Clan | 1 Sep 2010 | 10:56pm GMT
Reasonland" is written by Antje Duvekot, but Solas adapted the lyrics slightly and I use those below.In Reasonland, the emperor came down To the water's edge and said, I don't know where I'm bound I've got emeralds and rubies sewn into my gown But I am sadder than the diamonds in my crown Will you lay me down in a fiddler's cloud Lay me down to dream Let my aching head be still, let me surrender to your will Lay me down, deliver meA mighty queen came down to the sea Said, I might win every battle that I please I?ve got a hundred-man batallion, they all fall down at my feet But there?s a songbird, he will not sing for me So will you lay me down in a fiddler's cloud Lay me down to dreamLet my ...
→ danae | 1 Sep 2010 | 5:23pm GMT
Warning this is just a rambling of thoughts after taking a survey. They aren't really linked together. They are just thoughts I had while taking it.I was filling out a survey that Hanne Blank is asking people to fill out for a seconf volume of her book Big Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them. I read the first one AGES ago and used it but then lent it to a friend and you know the story - gone never to be seen again. Anyway the questions were not only for those that are big but those who have had big sexual partners. The survey just brought up lots of random thoughts....and sharing a few of them....* I once had an escort client be with me just because he ...
→ The Adventurous Journey | 1 Sep 2010 | 2:30pm GMT
Yes I have taken down two blogs.......... one was the tongue in cheek drinking one.. and the other one was about my agoraphobia.I realized ... as much as this blog is my personal journal.. and journey...... some things do not translate well from my addled brain to "paper". Some folks got a little (to put it mildly) bent out of shape over the agoraphobia one.My mother used to say "if you can't
→ danae | 1 Sep 2010 | 3:40am GMT
I left at the end of July to visit my family. And arrived back home almost 3 weeks later and then we had to out of town for work right away. And rush back for work here at home too. So I was feelings as though I am not sure which way is up but finally this week feels a little bit more stable. I went home as I had several family functions to attend. One was finally being able to get some closure for my Uncle's death. Still grieving of course but Master said he has noticed that I seem to be better then I was before I left. I see some of that but I almost feel like when is the other shoe going to drop. This year has been really hard. And so there haven't been many blog posts. And I feel a lit...
→ Kitten's Paw Prints In Slavery | 1 Sep 2010 | 2:39am GMT
My work day didn’t go that well. My trainer had the day off due to jury duty, and my supervisor had to go to court in the afternoon. So yeah. I was pretty much on my own. So there are some things that just had to wait until tomorrow because I would rather put it off, rather than try to do it on my own, while not knowing what the hell I’m doing, and fuck it up and have to have someone else fix it.
It could have been worse, but still.
So on my way home from work Master sent me a text message saying that He was on the phone with His mom. She had literally just gotten her computer back from it suffering from the blue screen of death. So she wanted us to come down tonight so I could h...
→ The Heron Clan | 1 Sep 2010 | 1:26am GMT
We have consistently said that our dynamic includes elements of Domestic Discipline as it is understood within the context of our overarching BDSM lifestyle. Too, we've described our practice of switching with one another disciplinarily. That sometimes stands our normal power dynamic on its head. It necessitates the very real transfer of power from Him back to me, and that presents a variety of challenges Actually, we are tentative about laying claim to the domestic discipline label. Far too many people have a very simplistic view of how that sort of power exchange works -- or should work. Most confuse discipline with punishment, and the fact is that DD most oft...
→ Kitten's Paw Prints In Slavery | 31 Aug 2010 | 1:54am GMT
I’m suddenly very tired at the moment. I just got out of the bath, and I think the hot water relaxed me a bit too much, so now I’m tired. Stupid hot water.
Work was going okay until after I got back from my lunch break. My trainer had to leave, and she won’t be in tomorrow, because she got called in for jury duty. That bites. Then Wednesday and Thursday one of our big clients are going to be checking in.. so we are going back to a more strict dress code for those two days. This also means that I have to dig through all my clothes and find those clothes again. Good thing I kept them.
Master picked me up from down town today. MZ started a new college semester today. She was l...
→ The Heron Clan | 30 Aug 2010 | 4:39pm GMT
I have been teetering back and forth about the wisdom of exposing much about this aspect of my/our life.We have written, both swan and I recently, that I have returned, after a several year hiatus from switching roles in our SM power exchange, to my actively bottoming again. That dynamic has gone beyond my simply switching playfully to include my being corporally punished as a behavior support to help me achieve a behavior goal I am finding challenging, and that I need to control more effectively.The issue is my alcohol consumption. I am hesitant to reveal this here in that each time this issue has arisen in our writing here it has resulted in a cascade or vitriolic comments by anonymous com...
→ Kitten's Paw Prints In Slavery | 30 Aug 2010 | 1:56am GMT
Today I had let all the little things pile up. This has nothing to do with my depression, as I have been clear headed today. But for some stupid as hell reason, I let all the little things that have annoyed me or ticked me off over a period of time. And then I basically picked a fight with my Husband so I could vent them.
Stupid move. Very, very stupid move. We both said hurtful things but then we calmed down and we had a deep talk about it all. And I admitted that the only reason I get bitchy about the little things is because I don’t have control of the larger problems, just yet. Such as my depression. My insurance website has been down all weekend so I haven’t been able to loo...
→ life as slave kk / My naked ass slave | 29 Aug 2010 | 1:59pm GMT
it was finally friday after a crazy week at the work place. i was just waiting for five o'clock so i could just get the hell out of there and enjoy my time away from the zoo and recharge. i did not want to hear all of the football bs that was going on around me. Master got a little sideways with me earlier in the week about the football talk and i guess that set the tone for the whole week.i know that Master loves me very much, but i love Him so damm much that it hurts when He is upset with me. i would rather be whipped 100 times hard with a cane then have Him upset at me. not that He yells or screams, He just don't talk or if He does is very short with His answers. He did say to me that we ...
→ The Adventurous Journey | 29 Aug 2010 | 1:04pm GMT
I have always maintained that I suffer from the Peter Pan Complex (I'm never gonna grow up!)And those that have played with me can attest to the fact that when I am flying on endorphins my mental age ranges somewhere between 4 and 5 years old.However - yesterday I was not / did not play ........ BUT I landed up feeling more like a 5 year old than any time I am playing.I went to visit a friend....
→ Submissive Reflections | 29 Aug 2010 | 12:57pm GMT
I am so stressed. I have been sick, a cold, which I have unfortunately passed on to the little man. Nicholas has spent the last two nights coughing and not sleeping, which means I have not slept either. Mac is away and I am exhausted, but life doesn?t stop, Sarah Jane doesn't stop, Mac can?t stop, just because I am sick. Nicholas needs me constantly. I need sleep! I know it will pass. My coughNext page
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