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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "A slave's happiness: Does it matter?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 A slave's happiness: Does it matter? (54) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 21 Jun 06, 7:11 AM 566-120-966 UK, 5 yrs this slave understands that it would help in the M/s relationship if it were happy. But at the end of the day a slave is there to serve it's Master or Mistress. this slave thinks that the act of serving should give a slave a degree of happiness and it's Master or Mistress should not be obligated to make sure if the slave is happy. As in life no one could be happy 24/7/365 (can they?), so if a slave is unhappy in parts of it slavery then that would be an acceptable part of it's life. If a slave is unhappy 24/7/365 the it should question why and if slavery is right for them. After all, we all volunteered to be in this lifestyle. Edited 21 Jun 06, 7:12 AM by 566-120-966 21 Jun 06, 3:34 PM Meritaten US(TN), 6 yrs 566-120-966 wrote: this slave understands that it would help in the M/s relationship if it were happy. But at the end of the day a slave is there to serve it's Master or Mistress. this slave thinks that the act of serving should give a slave a degree of happiness and it's Master or Mistress should not be obligated to make sure if the slave is happy. As in life no one could be happy 24/7/365 (can they?), so if a slave is unhappy in parts of it slavery then that would be an acceptable part of it's life. If a slave is unhappy 24/7/365 the it should question why and if slavery is right for them. After all, we all volunteered to be in this lifestyle. Yes. To be happy 24/7 is highly improbable, this one knows, but to be miserable 24/7 is a sign to leave the relationship. Is not a healthy relationship based upon mutual happiness? Does a slave not find happiness in her service, in some way or other? Even if a Master decides that His property's happiness isn't something He cares about, can He truly take it away if the slave's heart finds joy even in the most menial of tasks? It's like taking away this one's music as a punishment - only the "tangible" music can be taken, the music in her heart and soul cannot be removed no matter how the Master may try, because it's always there and He can't reach it if this one doesn't let Him. she needs coffee. she's waxing philosophical. i'm upside down inside out for You.. Sir Steven's babygirl 21 Jun 06, 4:41 PM Just_Angel US(CO), 5 yrs £ Y! Happiness is a relative thing and has a different definition for everyone... Happiness to one person in a relationship might be nice clothes, candy, flowers, and having an opinion that always counts in the decision making. These things make a great deal of my friends feel happy and spoiled when it comes to being in a relationship. But, that is for my vanilla friends. Happiness for me, is getting my Mistress's coffee in the morning, sitting down for a few minutes and talking with her, and occasionally going someplace together even if its just window shopping. The time i spend with my Mistress and the little things i do for her make me feel happy and consider myself quite spoiled. So, should a slave's happiness matter to an Owner? i think it should (at least to some extent), but it all hinges on what makes you happy. 22 Jun 06, 6:42 AM caethes UK, 6 yrs Master considers my happiness to be very important in all aspects of life. i live under His control (although He can only be here once a week or so). He wishes me to be happy and secure, He encourages me to work, be financially independent and secure. There is alot to learn and He is my tutor every step of the way. i realise i am very lucky that i was found by such a caring Master. 23 Jun 06, 8:18 AM Adramalech 5 yrs Rolling_Wildheart wrote: I was just sitting here thinking about whether it matters or not for a Master/Mistress to think about the happiness of His/Her slave. There are no universal expectations of what constitues personal fullfillment. Some slaves find happiness in love. Others yet may find it in the fire of asbsolute control, degredation to objects-and rigid structures. Whatever your preffered mode of core expression,you must seek it's match. And the only way to do that is with a degree of self searching,and transparency in expression. The only real folly of thought would be to project your personal form of happiness onto others, as the default. 23 Jun 06, 9:23 PM submissiveheart US(NY), 6 yrs Adramalech wrote: Rolling_Wildheart wrote: I was just sitting here thinking about whether it matters or not for a Master/Mistress to think about the happiness of His/Her slave. There are no universal expectations of what constitues personal fullfillment. Some slaves find happiness in love. Others yet may find it in the fire of asbsolute control, degredation to objects-and rigid structures. Whatever your preffered mode of core expression,you must seek it's match. And the only way to do that is with a degree of self searching,and transparency in expression. The only real folly of thought would be to project your personal form of happiness onto others, as the default. Again very insightful, but if the sub or slave finds happiness in love (expressing it and being loved) and also a touch of degredation but finds herself on a one-way trip to degredation, she might still be unhappy (so there would be a match in degredation but not love). Sometimes these things are complex and the match is found in one but not the other. I think Masters being perceptive to their slaves (and asking questions!!!!) is KEY to this happiness. Slaves always worry about Masters being happy but do Master have the same concern? If not, then you have emotional enslavement of the slave. Not a good thing. I think better to have a devoted slave. Ok. I'll shut up now... 24 Jun 06, 12:22 AM 978-103-915 US, 6 yrs Y! 566-120-966 wrote: this slave understands that it would help in the M/s relationship if it were happy. But at the end of the day a slave is there to serve it's Master or Mistress. this slave thinks that the act of serving should give a slave a degree of happiness and it's Master or Mistress should not be obligated to make sure if the slave is happy. As in life no one could be happy 24/7/365 (can they?), so if a slave is unhappy in parts of it slavery then that would be an acceptable part of it's life. If a slave is unhappy 24/7/365 the it should question why and if slavery is right for them. After all, we all volunteered to be in this lifestyle. this slave totally agrees. if a slave cannot derive all of his pleasure out of the pleasure of service, then he has no business calling himself a slave. when this slave submits to a master this slave is fully aware that the master may ignore it, may mistreat it, may even abuse it, but this slave takes its pleasure from the knowledge that whatever the master's interaction with it is, it is the level of interaction that pleases it's master. That fact, that knowledge that this slave is giving its master pleasure regardless of what the master does for it or to it, is this slave's reason for being a slave. 24 Jun 06, 12:31 AM Adramalech 5 yrs submissiveheart wrote: Adramalech wrote: Rolling_Wildheart wrote: I was just sitting here thinking about whether it matters or not for a Master/Mistress to think about the happiness of His/Her slave. There are no universal expectations of what constitues personal fullfillment. Some slaves find happiness in love. Others yet may find it in the fire of asbsolute control, degredation to objects-and rigid structures. Whatever your preffered mode of core expression,you must seek it's match. And the only way to do that is with a degree of self searching,and transparency in expression. The only real folly of thought would be to project your personal form of happiness onto others, as the default. Again very insightful, but if the sub or slave finds happiness in love (expressing it and being loved) and also a touch of degredation but finds herself on a one-way trip to degredation, she might still be unhappy (so there would be a match in degredation but not love). Sometimes these things are complex and the match is found in one but not the other. I think Masters being perceptive to their slaves (and asking questions!!!!) is KEY to this happiness. Slaves always worry about Masters being happy but do Master have the same concern? If not, then you have emotional enslavement of the slave. Not a good thing. I think better to have a devoted slave. Ok. I'll shut up now... A Master has to be a good steward to his or her property.This is why one should never rush to ownership. An uncollared probationary period should be undertaken, so both can do a proper asessment of the other. This way, the ensuing relationship is not poisoned by the initial infatuation of the "new relationship energy". if you still feel that same energy,or stronger,in six months time-go for it. If not,admit an incompatability and be happy with the experience you have gained. Far too many D/s relationships are founded entirely upon fantasy constructs, that fall to ruin, in the face of realities that occur later on. You can try to be as transparent and honest about what you need, and offer, as possible-but, this is about a developing symbiosis-not two individuals. Communication at any level will fail, without the face to face interactions of daily life......and the feeling of energies and chemical attractions that can only come through intimate contact. And these will always take time to mesh,and find thier ultimate levels. 24 Jun 06, 3:57 AM submissiveheart US(NY), 6 yrs Adramalech wrote: submissiveheart wrote: Adramalech wrote: Rolling_Wildheart wrote: I was just sitting here thinking about whether it matters or not for a Master/Mistress to think about the happiness of His/Her slave. There are no universal expectations of what constitues personal fullfillment. Some slaves find happiness in love. Others yet may find it in the fire of asbsolute control, degredation to objects-and rigid structures. Whatever your preffered mode of core expression,you must seek it's match. And the only way to do that is with a degree of self searching,and transparency in expression. The only real folly of thought would be to project your personal form of happiness onto others, as the default. Again very insightful, but if the sub or slave finds happiness in love (expressing it and being loved) and also a touch of degredation but finds herself on a one-way trip to degredation, she might still be unhappy (so there would be a match in degredation but not love). Sometimes these things are complex and the match is found in one but not the other. I think Masters being perceptive to their slaves (and asking questions!!!!) is KEY to this happiness. Slaves always worry about Masters being happy but do Master have the same concern? If not, then you have emotional enslavement of the slave. Not a good thing. I think better to have a devoted slave. Ok. I'll shut up now... A Master has to be a good steward to his or her property.This is why one should never rush to ownership. An uncollared probationary period should be undertaken, so both can do a proper asessment of the other. This way, the ensuing relationship is not poisoned by the initial infatuation of the "new relationship energy". if you still feel that same energy,or stronger,in six months time-go for it. If not,admit an incompatability and be happy with the experience you have gained. Far too many D/s relationships are founded entirely upon fantasy constructs, that fall to ruin, in the face of realities that occur later on. You can try to be as transparent and honest about what you need, and offer, as possible-but, this is about a developing symbiosis-not two individuals. Communication at any level will fail, without the face to face interactions of daily life......and the feeling of energies and chemical attractions that can only come through intimate contact. And these will always take time to mesh,and find thier ultimate levels. Very true. But also face to face/intimate contact can mess with communications particularly when one of the two individuals is crazy in love and focusing endlessly on unconditional love when in fact as humans we all have needs and require certain conditions to survive and thrive. So it isn't just face-facebut what's behind those faces. Unconditional love is a fantasy but it's a beautiful fantasy if the other party respects it. Sadly, I don't think that is often the case with Masters... (I'm feeling crappy tonite) 24 Jun 06, 8:43 AM Adramalech 5 yrs submissiveheart wrote: Very true. But also face to face/intimate contact can mess with communications particularly when one of the two individuals is crazy in love and focusing endlessly on unconditional love when in fact as humans we all have needs and require certain conditions to survive and thrive. So it isn't just face-facebut what's behind those faces. Unconditional love is a fantasy but it's a beautiful fantasy if the other party respects it. Sadly, I don't think that is often the case with Masters... (I'm feeling crappy tonite) Love is always conditional to acceptance. Yet,we love in different ways. As far as how Masters love? That will entirely depend on the individual's vision of what a slave is. Some are in love with intensity, and unending focus and drama..others are in love with a fantasy about romance. Others yet are in love with deep insecurities,and seek to impose order to the nth degree, to try to allay thier doubts. I have been through all of this, and none of it ultimately made any sense..All was illusion, smoke and mirrors. Only one thing really matters in the grand scheme of things. Connections that you make and foster. And the quality of those-and the joy and fullfillment they they return to you, is entirely about perception and choice. Learn to clear your sight of the clouds of fantasy and the incomprehension of underlying realities-and you will go far. Next page