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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Collaring??" Collaring?? (10) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Tue 25 Apr 06, 11:23 PM Master_Simon UK, 6 yrs My warmest greetings to you all. Firstly I would like to start by introducing myself. I am Master Simon, Master to my slave 978-761-221. Both myself and my slave are very new to this life/culture and are both learning. I am learning to be a Master and also learning to train my slave, as my slave is learning what I teach. We are not 24/7. I shall go into further detail about myself and my slave in other posts, or if anyone asks! Now for my question. I am rather confused with regards to collaring. From what I have read on the internet I get the impression that collaring is regarded as probably the most intimate, binding and committing stage to a M/s / D/s relationship and is considered to be the equivalent of marriage within a normal (heh, normal!??!) monogamous relationship. From some of the posts I have read on these boards I am confused as some slaves/subs seem to be collared (from what I can gather) very early in their M/s / D/s relationship. My slave has a collar, but it is just a collar that I like my slave to wear. I can clip a dog lead to it etc but to me it is just a collar and I there is no significance with the collar to such a relationship. I will go into a little more about myself and my slave so you get the picture. Myself and my slave have had what you would call a 'normal' relationship for 13 years. We started courting, then lovers. We have a child, house mortgage all the bills that go with it etc. We started practicing D/s and finally took the step to M/s. At first it took me a while to work out if M/s relationship was right for us but after extensive talking with my slave and lots of thinking it is right for us both and we are very happy with our roles, though we are learning. Anyway back to the subject. I have given my slave a collar, but just to wear. I suppose you could call it a 'training' collar but it has little meaning in our relationship as M/s. I am simply confused by the amount of M/M/D's saying I have a new slave and slave is going to get collared soon, and the amount of slaves/subs that say 'i have a new M/M/D and I am going to get collared very soon'. In our M/s relationship we took the first step by drawing up a contract that slave agreed to and signed but was amended as necessary as my slave has some hard limits (obviously this is not a legal contract, simply a contract between myself and my slave defining ground rules and slaves role), then placing my rings upon my slave (piercings done by myself – this was a big step for my slave). I then intent to brand my slave, and eventually collar my slave. The branding will not happen for a long time, until I feel ready for it and my slave has earned the right to have my mark. When the time comes I intend to make the brand myself by calving my symbol into a solid block of copper or similar material, then mounting on a metal rod and branding in the traditional way of heating the brand in an open fire. My slave is not yet ready for the brand, nor am I ready to give such brand. My slave will have to reach a satisfactory level in slave's training, and I will also have to be at such a level in order to be a worthy Master to give such a brand. This is the way of my thinking and I thought that collaring was classed much higher than branding, so I can't understand why people take it so lightly. Your thoughts/comments would be greatly appreciated. Master Simon. A wise man is one who knows what he believes in, and believes in what he knows. 26 Apr 06, 12:53 PM 461-543-525 US, 6 yrs Y! a collar can symbolize many things to different people, but generally shows ownership of the person wearing the collar. since you are married (i'm assuming so forgive me if i am wrong) then the wedding band already shows ownership and it could be that neither of you see the collar as necessary. to those who are doing this and are not married it gives them the security that they are loved and special. i don't beleive it is necessary to use a collar if neither of you find it useful or helpful or anything else. but i do know that if you go to any big 'play party' that if your slave doesn't wear a collar it is pretty much saying that she is free and unowned. so in those cases it would be wise for your slave to wear one, but if you two don't like them, then what you do in the privacy of your own home is your buisness. personally i love my collars. i like feeling the security they give me. to know that it was given to me out of love by my Master. everyone is different, so don't feel pressured to do or feel something you aren't into or don't feel. 461-543-525 30 Apr 06, 11:51 PM Beach_Mystress US, 6 yrs Y! Being collared is traditionally earned over time and regarded with the same sanctity as engagement. However, with the advent of the internet, many people are coming to BDSM without training or much knowledge. To most of those people, collaring someone is equivalent to "pinning" or "going steady." Now, collars mean what the two people (or more in poly groups) agree they mean. In my life, my boy's collar is very important. While I've had many problems with his collar being disrespected online, it has only happened once in real life. That instance was done by a submissive working as a ProDomme. It hurt her reputation in the local community. So, for the most part, if you're in a real time community with experienced people, most will respect the sanctity of the collar as being absolute. As for the collar she wears while you play, that isn't a "Collar." It is a play toy/device. If it wasn't presented as a symbol, then it isn't a training collar. When a sub/slave is collared it is an agreed upon symbol of devotion. I collared my submissive the month before we married. He wears a necklace daily with a tamper resistant screw closure. http://www.bondagecollars.com/sdcc.htm Each year on our anniversary, he is earning a cuff. When he has his last cuff, the set of necklace, anklets and bracelets will be his "formal" collar. Personally, I think a brand comes after the collaring. You can uncollar a sub/slave. You can not unbrand them. Also, before considering branding your property, try to attend a branding of someone else. It may change your mind. I am a Sadistic Domme. I enjoy screams and pain. I've grinned while watching a huge hook being shoved through some one's flesh and muscle and watched them be hung from it and swung like a swing. I will not brand my boy after watching a demo of it. First of all, it smells. You're burning human flesh. Second, it causes serious pain and terror. Not the fun type either. Third, the after care of it lasts weeks. You have a bad burn on their body. It hurts like hell for the five or six weeks it takes to heal. And burns infect very easily. Please, research and watch a demo before you decide to put your property through that. Yes, you own her. Would you scratch the paint on your car just because you can? (Just an afterthought, if you do decide to do it, stay away from intricate designs. Burns "spread" after the brand is applied, as tissue around the burned area dies. Intricate work ends up as one solid lump) ~Beach Mystress *Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson* http://www.myspace.com/beachmystress http://www.myspace.com/beachs_toyboy 1 May 06, 3:28 PM 658-263-595 US, 6 yrs Y! Master_Simon wrote: My warmest greetings to you all. Firstly I would like to start by introducing myself. I am Master Simon, Master to my slave 978-761-221. Both myself and my slave are very new to this life/culture and are both learning. I am learning to be a Master and also learning to train my slave, as my slave is learning what I teach. We are not 24/7. I shall go into further detail about myself and my slave in other posts, or if anyone asks! Now for my question. I am rather confused with regards to collaring. From what I have read on the internet I get the impression that collaring is regarded as probably the most intimate, binding and committing stage to a M/s / D/s relationship and is considered to be the equivalent of marriage within a normal (heh, normal!??!) monogamous relationship. From some of the posts I have read on these boards I am confused as some slaves/subs seem to be collared (from what I can gather) very early in their M/s / D/s relationship. My slave has a collar, but it is just a collar that I like my slave to wear. I can clip a dog lead to it etc but to me it is just a collar and I there is no significance with the collar to such a relationship. I will go into a little more about myself and my slave so you get the picture. Myself and my slave have had what you would call a 'normal' relationship for 13 years. We started courting, then lovers. We have a child, house mortgage all the bills that go with it etc. We started practicing D/s and finally took the step to M/s. At first it took me a while to work out if M/s relationship was right for us but after extensive talking with my slave and lots of thinking it is right for us both and we are very happy with our roles, though we are learning. Anyway back to the subject. I have given my slave a collar, but just to wear. I suppose you could call it a 'training' collar but it has little meaning in our relationship as M/s. I am simply confused by the amount of M/M/D's saying I have a new slave and slave is going to get collared soon, and the amount of slaves/subs that say 'i have a new M/M/D and I am going to get collared very soon'. In our M/s relationship we took the first step by drawing up a contract that slave agreed to and signed but was amended as necessary as my slave has some hard limits (obviously this is not a legal contract, simply a contract between myself and my slave defining ground rules and slaves role), then placing my rings upon my slave (piercings done by myself – this was a big step for my slave). I then intent to brand my slave, and eventually collar my slave. The branding will not happen for a long time, until I feel ready for it and my slave has earned the right to have my mark. When the time comes I intend to make the brand myself by calving my symbol into a solid block of copper or similar material, then mounting on a metal rod and branding in the traditional way of heating the brand in an open fire. My slave is not yet ready for the brand, nor am I ready to give such brand. My slave will have to reach a satisfactory level in slave's training, and I will also have to be at such a level in order to be a worthy Master to give such a brand. This is the way of my thinking and I thought that collaring was classed much higher than branding, so I can't understand why people take it so lightly. Your thoughts/comments would be greatly appreciated. Master Simon. to Sir Master Simon, Master Black Bayou and i have a outside normal life.we have 3 sons and businesses. i have respect for my Master 24/7 and i try never to hurt him or disrespect him. this life is full dedication, heart and soul. Masters own their slaves/subs fully. it is not a lifestyle to be taken lightly. when my Master Black Bayou placed his collar upon my neck it was a lifetime commitment for me to him. my collar is locked semipermanent on my neck. can only be removed in a life threating emergancy. my anklet is the same way. i wear my collar 24/7. my Master purchased them, stainless steel, with silver from collar me.com. i had a leather one to start, but since lifestyles today may require subs and slaves to work outside the home, something more elequent is necessary. if your slave/or sub is truely in for a lifetime commentment then something of this sort my Master recommends. Collaring is a commitment far greater than marriage. then when your ready to accept your slave/sub for life, branding. my Master has talked of this to me, and when he is ready i will gracially accept this too. many dont see what a commitment in this lifestyle is, but many do. i wish you luck with your slave/sub. littlecat Edited 1 May 06, 3:33 PM by 658-263-595 8 May 06, 5:53 PM Hayasierra US, 6 yrs Master_Simon wrote: Now for my question. I am rather confused with regards to collaring. Greetings, As some have already said a Collar is something else for everyone that you will likely encounter, so you should see what you would like it to mean for you and your slave. Some give collars haphazardly, others are a lot more picky, and some don't give Collars at all. It matters only in personal preference of the individuals and households involved. In my personal culture and system of D/s I use for my household and court you will not find a "properly" collared individual until that person has been with my household for a while, is almost completely finished with their training and has earned this right as determined by myself. This as most can gather will not happen until some time has passed. These collars will usually lock, and some worn for formal occasions may cost upwards of 200$ and be highly unique to the slave wearing it. For day to day life, they tend to be tasteful, yet sometimes discreet as needed. One who is collared will have several collars for different needs and different days, most of them very nice, almost all of them unique. All other slaves who are still in training, long - distance or who have not yet earned a full collar can "beg" to eventually be considered for full collaring by fashioning what I call a "Collarnecklace". It is a somewhat tight fitting unique necklance that is made into a functional collar by the slave themselves. This can be done relatively early in training, or relatively late. Other tokens of ownership may be given to a visiting or serving slave when they come to my court, one recently received a set of dog-tags that state "Haya's Lars" with my Society and culture's symbol on the back of them. Haya Sierra --- 23 May 06, 12:01 AM 162-683-568 6 yrs £ 461-543-525 wrote: a collar can symbolize many things to different people, but generally shows ownership of the person wearing the collar. since you are married (i'm assuming so forgive me if i am wrong) then the <a style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=24&k=..." onmouseover="window.status='wedding band'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">wedding band</a> already shows ownership and it could be that neither of you see the collar as necessary. to those who are doing this and are not married it gives them the security that they are loved and special. i don't beleive it is necessary to use a collar if neither of you find it useful or helpful or anything else. but i do know that if you go to any big 'play party' that if your slave doesn't wear a collar it is pretty much saying that she is free and unowned. so in those cases it would be wise for your slave to wear one, but if you two don't like them, then what you do in the privacy of your own home is your buisness. personally i love my collars. i like feeling the security they give me. to know that it was given to me out of love by my Master. everyone is different, so don't feel pressured to do or feel something you aren't into or don't feel. 461-543-525 i agree with you...a collar means different things to different M/s....relationships Funny thing is when i was married..i never wore a wedding ring..i didn't need it...i didn't need to show the world i was married..i just was.. Now that i am a slave...(not same man) i wear my collar everywhere..even at work..because i want to show the world i am owned and proud to be...strange how life is.... My Master is my Lord and my life...without him i would be lost..He owns my body..my mind and my soul...i would not have it any other way.. 23 May 06, 12:28 AM 000-928-387 US(NH), 7 yrs Master_Simon wrote: ...........I am rather confused with regards to collaring. From what I have read on the internet I get the impression that collaring is regarded as probably the most intimate, binding and committing stage to a M/s / D/s relationship and is considered to be the equivalent of marriage within a normal (heh, normal!??!) monogamous relationship. From some of the posts I have read on these boards I am confused as some slaves/subs seem to be collared (from what I can gather) very early in their M/s / D/s relationship...................................... i wear both my Master's collars as well as a wedding band. The collar came first, and with it my promise to obey Him as my Owner .....then the ring and then about 6 months later ... the wedding vows. The collar is most important to me because of the promise it represents. Next, and "almost" of equal importance is the ring. It's an O-ring given to me by my Master months prior to our marriage vows were exchanged. It's important to me, enough so that i did not wish to have it replaced by any diamond or traditional wedding band. It stayed on my finger and serves as a wedding band. To some a collar is important and to some it is not. Neither of the collars which i wear are expensive or extreme in their dollar values .... & while i wear them proudly and would be highly upset not to have them (because they now hold sentimental value to me and because my Master enjoys seeing them displayed on me), it's the promises which they represent that is most important to me. Those are never removed, and can not be lost, stolen or replaced.... and are of the most importance in value to me. Sincerely, his Owner & Master:Insideyourmind 23 May 06, 3:45 AM 818-260-082 6 yrs Beach_Mystress wrote: ... To most of those people, collaring someone is equivalent to "pinning" or "going steady." Now, collars mean what the two people (or more in poly groups) agree they mean. ... Yes, this is the case for me, i think. My daily-worn collar is a symbol of my relationship with my Master. He used those exact words, actually: "going steady." i also have one that is more symbolic of my position, but less public-friendly. Perhaps things will change as our relationship evolves. i know that wearing my collar daily helps me to remember my place. And i am expected to wear one of my collars at all times, unless it hinders some activity (showering, deep-throating being the 2 main ones). 23 May 06, 9:54 PM 229-555-494 UK, 6 yrs 818-260-082 wrote: Beach_Mystress wrote: ... To most of those people, collaring someone is equivalent to "pinning" or "going steady." Now, collars mean what the two people (or more in poly groups) agree they mean. ... Yes, this is the case for me, i think. My daily-worn collar is a symbol of my relationship with my Master. He used those exact words, actually: "going steady." i also have one that is more symbolic of my position, but less public-friendly. Perhaps things will change as our relationship evolves. i know that wearing my collar daily helps me to remember my place. And i am expected to wear one of my collars at all times, unless it hinders some activity (showering, deep-throating being the 2 main ones). Scarpia likes me to wear a collar and lead when we are together in private - apart from these two items and a pair of high heeled shoes, I am completely naked unless we are going out. It gives Him the freedom to lead me around the house and using the metal rings around the collar, He is able to restrain me with the use of additional ropes or chains. i have a few collars, some fairly basic that are literally dog collars bought from a pet shop some years ago which are rarely used but i had a more delicate choker made for Him for me to wear when we go out. Its made from soft black leather and has a round metal stud engraged with a circle of barbed wire. Its more comfortable to wear and discrete but we both know why i am wearing it and what it represents. 24 May 06, 12:37 AM Wildfleurs US, 6 yrs Master_Simon wrote: Now for my question. I am rather confused with regards to collaring. From what I have read on the internet I get the impression that collaring is regarded as probably the most intimate, binding and committing stage to a M/s / D/s relationship and is considered to be the equivalent of marriage within a normal (heh, normal!??!) monogamous relationship. From some of the posts I have read on these boards I am confused as some slaves/subs seem to be collared (from what I can gather) very early in their M/s / D/s relationship. I think it depends on the person. Personally I don't view collars as meaning much of anything namely because people have such a bad habit of rushing into them and typically collars seem to mean that they are going steady. And for the most part collars seem to be social status symbols within the BDSM community. So to me being collared doesn't mean that it's an intimate, binding, or committing stage at all. It means that they are going steady and that's about it. There are maybe one or two exceptions to that where I think the people take it seriously and view it as a sign of ownership developed over years. But in general that's how I view it. My owner has never really collared me. I have collar-y looking jewelry that I sometimes wear when we go out if it matches my outfit but that's about it. A few years ago I got pierced for him and about a year ago he branded me. To me those things mean so much more than a collar would ever mean. And both of those things took a lot more forethought than a collar ever would have. C~ 24 May 06, 11:06 AM 525-217-911 US, 6 yrs Master_Simon wrote: Now for my question. I am rather confused with regards to collaring. From what I have read on the internet I get the impression that collaring is regarded as probably the most intimate, binding and committing stage to a M/s / D/s relationship and is considered to be the equivalent of marriage within a normal (heh, normal!??!) monogamous relationship. From some of the posts I have read on these boards I am confused as some slaves/subs seem to be collared (from what I can gather) very early in their M/s / D/s relationship. When my Master first explained these things to me, He gave me a website to help explain the collar. This website indicates more than one type of collar for the different levels and reasons. http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/BDSMinfo/the_... I found it very helpful for me. ceri, Master Maston's lsg A life without submission is a life without commitment.