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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "The Next Step" The Next Step (4) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Thu 13 Oct 05, 3:24 PM Skinowner AQ, 6 yrs Y! Hello; My situation is a bit similiar to Master_Joey's 'Mentoring' thread, but only a bit. I have had feelings abt BDSM for as long as I can remember, and always wanting to be Top. It was not easy when I was younger as I had no awareness of what all this meant. I also had relationships and there was some play, but that is all it was. It never went on for a long time as none of my partners were into it. Recently I posted an ad on a local site and got a reply from a prospective sub. She is 19. I am 35. She wants to be taken in as a full time sub in an APE. This is all ok with me but.... Bloody buts. After having tons of dreams about owning a slave, now that the prospect is moving to become a realty I am starting to get the jitters. The idea that i will have someone to depend on me for everything, the idea that I will have to control someone every moment of their life. How do I do that? How do I go about it? My other problem is something that I am sure can be solved with some thought. I travel for work and can be away for weeks at a time. How would I control my slave when I am away. How will I know she is carrying out her tasks. Any opinions, ideas, musings, guidance are appreciated from both Tops and bottoms. Skin 13 Oct 05, 5:00 PM Zeemee DE, 6 yrs skinowner wrote: The idea that i will have someone to depend on me for everything, the idea that I will have to control someone every moment of their life. How do I do that? How do I go about it? Gradually. Don't start by wanting to control every moment right from the beginning. I have little idea about the specifics, but taking it slow seems very very crucial to me, especially since you say you are not very experienced. Just my first thought on reading your post. 16 Oct 05, 3:01 AM slavegail UK, 6 yrs Y! Zeemee wrote: skinowner wrote: The idea that i will have someone to depend on me for everything, the idea that I will have to control someone every moment of their life. How do I do that? How do I go about it? Gradually. Don't start by wanting to control every moment right from the beginning. I have little idea about the specifics, but taking it slow seems very very crucial to me, especially since you say you are not very experienced. Just my first thought on reading your post. Like Zeemee says very Gradually.One of the most important things is TRUST! Your prospective sub/slave is only 19 years old and as yet does not fully understand her feelings Yor need to do lots lots and lots of talking .You need to get to know her better than she knows herself. As for control while you are away. CCTV cheap and easy to install. NG1 owner of slavegail 20 Oct 05, 1:22 AM Skinowner AQ, 6 yrs Y! Thank you Zeemee and slavegail. Reading most posts on this website is quite eye opening. I think the most striking thing I read was to forget about contracts and manuals etc. Each rel must be built based around the D & s involved. I am feeling more confident now and look forward to that possible date when she will give herself to me. The jitters are still there, but lessening. In this respect maybe a thanks is due to all who have cared to post/start a thread and those who replied. As to remote control, installing CCTV's is an option for the far future. It is not worth a tiny investment until the right stage starts forming. Again, based on the posts read, I am of the opinion to go slow and invest (both time and money) into control mechanisms as the level of control deepens. I would be interested to here from other tops about how they felt when they walked into the life. Edited 20 Oct 05, 1:28 AM by Skinowner 2 Nov 05, 6:17 AM SIR4muscledsub CA, 6 yrs Y! As it true with many things, experience and practise makes perfect. So it's a catch-22...slaves won't give you the power without you having the experience, but how do you gain the experience without having slaves to try things out on? When I was starting out as a Master, nobody wanted to be my slave because I didn't have enough experience. I gained most of my experience through casual encounters at SM oriented bathhouses and at group play parties or SM clubs. Once I had some casual play experience under my belt, I found slaves were much more willing to talk with me and give up power to me. In all honesty, I think 90% or more of the potential slaves have little or no experience and are making requests based solely on fantasy anyways, so they are being somewhat hypocritical requiring experience when they have none. I don't see the problem with learning and growing together at a pace comfortable to both parties involved. Skinowner wrote: Thank you Zeemee and slavegail. Reading most posts on this website is quite eye opening. I think the most striking thing I read was to forget about contracts and manuals etc. Each rel must be built based around the D & s involved. I am feeling more confident now and look forward to that possible date when she will give herself to me. The jitters are still there, but lessening. In this respect maybe a thanks is due to all who have cared to post/start a thread and those who replied. As to remote control, installing CCTV's is an option for the far future. It is not worth a tiny investment until the right stage starts forming. Again, based on the posts read, I am of the opinion to go slow and invest (both time and money) into control mechanisms as the level of control deepens. I would be interested to here from other tops about how they felt when they walked into the life.