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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "what is the difference between a dominant/owner and a narcissist?" 1 2 3 what is the difference between a dominant/owner and a narcissist? (20) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. 30 Jul 05, 10:02 AM josephine1uk UK, 6 yrs Scipio wrote: josephine1uk wrote: Are you saying that a narcissist is someone with a personality disorder? jo Hi jo, I was not saying anything, only quoting, my words on the subject came later Thank you for correcting me. I should read more carefully next time. jo. 6 Aug 05, 2:55 PM allalone47 US(OH), 6 yrs A narcissist is someone that wil never take responsablily for his or her actions if something goes wrong and only if everything comes out right, It is also enforsed by thouse that excuse there behavure. An example of this is something that happened in my home town and probly has in yours were someone injures or kills someone and there parents go out and state that it was a frame or tht there little some couldn't have done it and htat the cops have the wrong person even when thee is not only eye wittnessess but photo evedance as well. In are lifestyle subs and slaves have to be vary carfull of people with these trates do to they also don't except limits that are previusely in place and agreed apon and when something goes wrong and it will they blame the sub or slave for it. 7 Aug 05, 1:31 PM allalone47 US(OH), 6 yrs tangie wrote: allalone47 wrote: In are lifestyle subs and slaves have to be vary carfull of people with these trates the person i mentioned above had survived by living from submissive to submissive. people like this are able to prey on those submissives (imho) because the submissive will look inside herself to find what is wrong before the more obvious reason becomes appearent. (please keep in mind i am not a psychologist :^) allalone47 wrote: I am not a psychologest either, took a corse in it a long time ago. for me, this is a titchy point. on one hand we have the "blame the submissive" routine, where the failing is nearly always the submissives, and she has been made to feel inadiquate until what self-esteem she had** either disappears or her own sense of survival kicks in and she breaks the bond. nope, if i'm wise, i own up to my lack, take the consequence, learn, and move on--if he is not so disgusted with me that i'm sent away. i take responsibility. so, the line between a dominant being responsible for his slaves actions mitigated by his slave being responsible? And here is the catch 22s A true slave will except wht there Master or Misstres tells them with out question. Now some will say that is not possable but look at all the batterd spouses out there and I dodn't just meen wifes but husbands as well. These are subs in there life also jsut that they don't now or excet it. AND the dominant is the abuser in there marrage how ever they are not real doms in that they are are also sub in nature or in themselfs. I have seen that narressess are by nature are sub but though upbringing or life or other reasons they are tought to be the dom when in reality they are not. The same goes for narrsesses in this lifestyle. We have a sub for what ever reason they believe to be Dom. Dont misonderstnd me in that I believe switches are this I am speeking on thuse that for what eer reason believe that they are Dom but truly are sub just can't grasp, or excet that they are and thee sub or slave dosen't now. I don't believe that they don't even now or realise it. It all has to do with the way they were rased in the begining. Ever here real men don't cry, and trap like that. 5 Nov 05, 1:04 AM Remoses US(PA), 6 yrs allalone47 wrote: tangie wrote: allalone47 wrote: In are lifestyle subs and slaves have to be vary carfull of people with these trates the person i mentioned above had survived by living from submissive to submissive. people like this are able to prey on those submissives (imho) because the submissive will look inside herself to find what is wrong before the more obvious reason becomes appearent. (please keep in mind i am not a psychologist :^) allalone47 wrote: I am not a psychologest either, took a corse in it a long time ago. for me, this is a titchy point. on one hand we have the "blame the submissive" routine, where the failing is nearly always the submissives, and she has been made to feel inadiquate until what self-esteem she had** either disappears or her own sense of survival kicks in and she breaks the bond. nope, if i'm wise, i own up to my lack, take the consequence, learn, and move on--if he is not so disgusted with me that i'm sent away. i take responsibility. so, the line between a dominant being responsible for his slaves actions mitigated by his slave being responsible? And here is the catch 22s A true slave will except wht there Master or Misstres tells them with out question. Now some will say that is not possable but look at all the batterd spouses out there and I dodn't just meen wifes but husbands as well. These are subs in there life also jsut that they don't now or excet it. AND the dominant is the abuser in there marrage how ever they are not real doms in that they are are also sub in nature or in themselfs. I have seen that narressess are by nature are sub but though upbringing or life or other reasons they are tought to be the dom when in reality they are not. The same goes for narrsesses in this lifestyle. We have a sub for what ever reason they believe to be Dom. Dont misonderstnd me in that I believe switches are this I am speeking on thuse that for what eer reason believe that they are Dom but truly are sub just can't grasp, or excet that they are and thee sub or slave dosen't now. I don't believe that they don't even now or realise it. It all has to do with the way they were rased in the begining. Ever here real men don't cry, and trap like that. These questions that are posed here seem to have a common thread. The commonality of these questions is the quest to understand human nature. We ask ourselves, "Am I doing it right?", or "Why can't he/she respond the way I need?" Who is right, who is wrong? As always the answer to these questions simply beg more questions. We recognize that personalities are as different as the faces of the people who inhabit these personalities. Why can't a Dominant fulfill the sumissives expectations? Why can't the slave do as the Master expects? As we enter into these relationships, we have to recognize that all the complications that inform our everyday relationships are present, in these our most intimate of relationships. But here, unlike at work or at home with the family, we have chosen to escalate every aspect of the relationship. In our quest to experience these extraordinary elements of life, we've exposed elements of our personalities that we normally keep covered, keep hidden. I think we all understand that what we hope to achieve through a D/s or BDSM or call-it-what-you-will relationship we are acting in ways that we can't act when we're "in public". By virtue of this alone, most of us are in terra incognita, unknown territory. And so we are making up the rules of conduct as we go along. Few of us are prepared for the kind of relationships we talk about here so glibbly. Some of us portray ourselves as Powerful Lords who walk through this world and strike terror in all we meet. Some of us sugggest that we can come to heel and surrender wholly to the dominant who proclaims himself or herself as the Master or Mistress. Perhaps something in some of our lives instilled in us the character to pull off these personae. For most of us we are discovering our limits and abilities every day. But it's this act of discovery that's so rewarding. When we call a slave to heel and she obediently responds, how wonderful that is! So too, when a dominant calls the slave and the slaves finds it within himself or herself to heel, there is joy in that discovery, too. For all of us the times when we realize that, "Yes! We can do it!"; these are the moments of glory that these relationships reward us with. So often we posture and strut about procaliming ourselves as the Great Master or the ever so humble servant. Each of us are on a journey of discovery. That journey is called "life". When we travel that path together, it's truly a wonderful thing. Whether you're married or single or separated or divorced, or any combination of the above, you can find happiness. It starts with talking about everything and getting to really know your partner. Honesty and bravery certainly help in these talks. Oh, if you want to have the discussion where one of you sits ensconced on a throne while the other kneels naked before you, no problem with that. But the conversation is the thing. The discovery, that's the real prize. So it really only matters that you're talking about what you want and where you're going. If Master is not stern enough or the slave is not compliant enough, talk about it, find a way to accomodate the expectations of your partner in this facinating life we live. Remember, because life doesn't come with an instruction book (yes we make it up as we go along) neither does an SM, D/s, BDSM relationsip. Making mistakes is okay. Be prepared to laugh once in a while. Probably the more you laugh the better everything else will become. Crying once in a while is okay, too. As entertaining as tears are, they should be never used as a weapon. One more thing, fighting is a loser's game, and I'll tell you why. If you and your partner fight and the other party wins, then you lose. If, on the other hand you win, well then the other party loses. Now if your partner loses, then you lose, too. So any fight has a lose/lose outcome. There are no winners when you fight. Only losers. Disagreeing is one thing, happens all the time. Fighting? Always a bad bet. Go have fun. Laugh a little. Find out what you can really do. You probably have a lot more potential than you think you have. Go on try it! As always, I am Remoses. 8 Dec 05, 5:49 AM DanitoDominant 6 yrs josephine1uk wrote: Thing is too, that I've never in my life parted from a person on bad terms, but in this case I just left, since he refused to speak or communicate with me. Everytime I tried he just got up and walked away in anger. autonne wrote: the one thing I did notice is that he lacked empathy, and that was a huge warning sign to me. Although, expecting a sadist to have empathy These are just two examples of many,there are a lot of people out there claiming "to be Dominants" who are far from that.True dominance comes out of love,lust,pride and strength,not frustration and weakness. Someone who is strong can cope with mistakes.People who avoid them by not taking responsibility simply are to weak to deal with them.Someone who is weak and cannot even handle their emotions,can never make a good dominant,since true dominance comes out or strength,not weakness. The same comes for sadism off course.Sadism is about seeing your victims suffer,and enjoying it to the fullest,not out of lacking compassion as a person. There is a difference in enjoying overpowering and torturing your victims,and not beeing able to feel sorry for them when they are hurt another way.There is a clear difference between beeing weak and strong and beeing afraid to feel emotions or enjoying them as part of life.Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with life. I enjoy torturing my victims till they beg and whimper in pain and humiliation,yet feel sorry when they are sad,lonely or in emotional pain.There lies the difference. It seems that both you ladies have had the unluck of falling into the hands of one,so stop blaming yourself.Next time,watch for the signs more carefully. I wish you a lot of luck and strenght in finding someone better "Shiver at my presence, your lips sealed in pain, you will see my dark, dark soul" 8 Dec 05, 6:02 AM babalon US, 6 yrs autonne wrote: the one thing I did notice is that he lacked empathy, and that was a huge warning sign to me. Although, expecting a sadist to have empathy, well....maybe I am being silly there. Okay - I THINK I got the quoting right on this one... Anyways - my Signore is *highly* empathic. He's also quite a sadist. The two work like hand in glove with him. He is an emotional sadist as well, so he *loves* feeling my fear and terror, not just seeing my pain and hearing my screams. It makes him much more aware of what's going on and how it's affecting me. He's also very aware of the consequences for his actions, and takes responsibility for them. So I consider him a highly ethical sadist. 10 Dec 05, 7:25 PM Michael_X UK, 6 yrs autonne wrote: Does anyone have a way to distinguish between the two? Yes, look and see if they are truly in control of their life. Regards, Michael 10 Dec 05, 9:52 PM babalon US, 6 yrs Remoses wrote: Go have fun. Laugh a little. Find out what you can really do. You probably have a lot more potential than you think you have. Go on try it! As always, I am Remoses. I found your whole post quite delightful. Thank you for posting it. babalon 1 Jan 06, 10:18 PM josephine1uk UK, 6 yrs DanitoDominant wrote: josephine1uk wrote: Thing is too, that I've never in my life parted from a person on bad terms, but in this case I just left, since he refused to speak or communicate with me. Everytime I tried he just got up and walked away in anger. autonne wrote: the one thing I did notice is that he lacked empathy, and that was a huge warning sign to me. Although, expecting a sadist to have empathy These are just two examples of many,there are a lot of people out there claiming "to be Dominants" who are far from that.True dominance comes out of love,lust,pride and strength,not frustration and weakness. Someone who is strong can cope with mistakes.People who avoid them by not taking responsibility simply are to weak to deal with them.Someone who is weak and cannot even handle their emotions,can never make a good dominant,since true dominance comes out or strength,not weakness. The same comes for sadism off course.Sadism is about seeing your victims suffer,and enjoying it to the fullest,not out of lacking compassion as a person. There is a difference in enjoying overpowering and torturing your victims,and not beeing able to feel sorry for them when they are hurt another way.There is a clear difference between beeing weak and strong and beeing afraid to feel emotions or enjoying them as part of life.Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with life. I enjoy torturing my victims till they beg and whimper in pain and humiliation,yet feel sorry when they are sad,lonely or in emotional pain.There lies the difference. It seems that both you ladies have had the unluck of falling into the hands of one,so stop blaming yourself.Next time,watch for the signs more carefully. I wish you a lot of luck and strenght in finding someone better DanitoDominant, I want to thank you for your good wishes. However, I do need to point out that it wasn't me who said the things in your quote. Those words were said by autonne in a post that contained a quote from something I had said. Forgive me for being pedantic. Happy New Year. jo Next page