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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "what is the difference between a dominant/owner and a narcissist?" 1 2 3 what is the difference between a dominant/owner and a narcissist? (20) Mon 25 Jul 05, 7:55 PM autonne US, 4 yrs Does anyone have a way to distinguish between the two? 25 Jul 05, 8:27 PM Tanos UK, 12 yrs Y! autonne wrote: Does anyone have a way to distinguish between the two? The most important question to ask when assessing a potential master is: "Do they take responsibility for their actions?" Narcissists don't. Regards, Tanos www.tanos.org.uk 25 Jul 05, 8:32 PM autonne US, 4 yrs Tanos wrote: autonne wrote: Does anyone have a way to distinguish between the two? The most important question to ask when assessing a potential master is: "Do they take responsibility for their actions?" Narcissists don't. Regards, Tanos He didn't. He blamed it all on me. Guess that answers my question. Thank you. 25 Jul 05, 11:41 PM josephine1uk UK, 4 yrs autonne wrote: Tanos wrote: autonne wrote: Does anyone have a way to distinguish between the two? The most important question to ask when assessing a potential master is: "Do they take responsibility for their actions?" Narcissists don't. Regards, Tanos He didn't. He blamed it all on me. Guess that answers my question. Thank you. I don't want to get all mushy but I'm sending you a hug if you would like it. And thank you for giving me a new word for my ex. I was getting bored with all the other names I was using to describe him. Seriously though, it makes perfect sense that a good Dom/Master should be able to take responsibility for their actions if they are to be trusted to be responsible for another human being. jo 26 Jul 05, 11:28 AM josephine1uk UK, 4 yrs Scipio wrote: autonne wrote: Does anyone have a way to distinguish between the two? To Quote "A personality disorder is a hidden disorder. The person may appear to be quite calm, rational and even functional to the average observer. The personality disorder does not become evident until one becomes more involved in that person's life. As the repressed childhood damage begins to seep into intimate relationships, the transference and counter-transference phenomena becomes disturbingly evident. In my opinion for an intense personality disturbance to be formed, the victim has had to suffer some form of deprivation, neglect and abandonment from both father and mother. It's the combination and intensity of both parents' disturbances that create the transference/counter-transference reaction in the personality disordered individual, as though the sins of the parents are visited upon their children. In essence, the personality disordered individual is programmed and scripted to eventually activate earlier disturbances within adult relationships. The contamination of the early years becomes a mental disturbance process of the adult years and adult relationships unconsciously activate the contagiousness and contamination of the deep down, disturbed personality organization. Relationships are destroyed by personality disorders. These people can't maintain and sustain "in love" relationships. They eventually become so disillusioned and disappointed in everyday reactions that they are compelled to act out emotional withdrawal and disintegration in their adult bonding processes. Personality Disordered individuals create disturbances and activate early deprivation experiences in their partners which eventually threatens to destroy the relationship. They do not have an stable, on-going sense of a real self but are dominated by their defenses and their unreal self. Ultimately, the hope for the personality disordered individual lies in the awareness that by re-experiencing, fully feeling and integrating emotional pain can one become real enough to live a clear, centered and productive life." Quote from http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/personalitydisorde... Are you saying that a narcissist is someone with a personality disorder? jo 26 Jul 05, 3:27 PM autonne US, 4 yrs josephine1uk wrote: I don't want to get all mushy but I'm sending you a hug if you would like it. And thank you for giving me a new word for my ex. I was getting bored with all the other names I was using to describe him. Seriously though, it makes perfect sense that a good Dom/Master should be able to take responsibility for their actions if they are to be trusted to be responsible for another human being. jo 26 Jul 05, 3:33 PM autonne US, 4 yrs autonne wrote: josephine1uk wrote: I don't want to get all mushy but I'm sending you a hug if you would like it. And thank you for giving me a new word for my ex. I was getting bored with all the other names I was using to describe him. Seriously though, it makes perfect sense that a good Dom/Master should be able to take responsibility for their actions if they are to be trusted to be responsible for another human being. jo Ooops. Forgot to paste message! Obviously I am in need of more coffee. Thank you for the hug. I do need it. The whole situation broke my heart and was so unpleasant. Thing is too, that I've never in my life parted from a person on bad terms, but in this case I just left, since he refused to speak or communicate with me. Everytime I tried he just got up and walked away in anger. All of it has left me limp, sad, and just wondering what happened. In the end, I do realize that he just COULDN'T. Own me, that is. The thing I wondered often if it was my fault, if I had donne something. H accused me of being hostile. But when I asked him what it was that I did that made him feel this, he refused to answer and ignored the question, so it's not even been an opportunity to learn anything. 26 Jul 05, 3:40 PM autonne US, 4 yrs Scipio wrote: To Quote "A personality disorder is a hidden disorder......." Quote from http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/personalitydisorde... Thank you for this, I read it with great interest. Actually I am now wondering if it was something in me that triggered something in him of which I am not aware. The thing is, he is actually a therapist, so I would think that he is familiar with reactence, and personality stuff. Of course I also wondered whether I am the narcissist and whether I was projecting....the one thing I did notice is that he lacked empathy, and that was a huge warning sign to me. Although, expecting a sadist to have empathy, well....maybe I am being silly there. But truthfully, I am not looking for a person who is sadistic regardless of target, I am looking for a person who will confine his sadism to just me. If that makes any sense. 26 Jul 05, 3:45 PM autonne US, 4 yrs Scipio wrote: ] Nearly everyone has some narcissistic traits. It's possible to display arrogance, selfishness, conceit, or being out of touch (Jeez, I know that one, going through a 12 hour time zone twice in every 5 weeks) without being a narcissist. One practical test is that with normal people, no matter how difficult the situation gets, you can get some improvements, at least temporarily, by saying, essentially, "Please have a heart." This doesn't work with narcissists, in fact, it usually makes things worse. Can I be narcissistic? Yes. Is it predominant in my personality I hope "no" but then ask those I live with. This is a trait that rings bells to me and my inner thinking at times, I hear the evocative "word" and have to check in with myself. After night shifts I am alone for a good while, I see people, I feel their emotions, but I have a distance from them it's like being a ghost. I have a passing glance at my own narcissist interaction and hate it.. Can I be considered a narcissist for openly admitting what I feel. Probably by someone's definition This is very interesting since I have been wondering the same thing lately. I read on someone's website that there is a sort of hidden narcissist and that by default that type attracts the overt narcissist. I wonder about myself more and more. In the end though, I think if one actually considers stuff, then maybe inspite of overlap with narcissists, one isn't one, since most of what I have read about it says that true narcissists are incapable of refelction about their own selves. Next page