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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Setting tasks for Mistress" Setting tasks for Mistress (7) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Fri 27 Jan 12, 10:51 PM 101-852-802 UK, 15 mths Before everyone shouts at me let me explain. Mistress has run here own business for quite a long time now, but for the last four years she has spent quite a lot of time in hospital. The last time was to have her gall bladder out, which isn't to bad but it took so long to get sorted out that she is left with a hiatus hernia. Mistress also has crohn's diease both rheumatiod and osteo arthritis. The last opperation on her shoulder hasn't worked properly and she is in a lot of pain every time she moves. So I am watching her get very depressed. The business has gone and she is finding it hard to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. SO I am trying to think of little jobs to just help get her motivated again.HELP. 27 Jan 12, 11:41 PM Mistress_Rebekah CA, 10 mths Y! Very sorry to hear that your Mistress seems to be so unwell... Does she have any hobbies that she enjoys? If she liked to do different types of art... that could be helpful... maybe painting? She could take an evening class... or she could take up something like origami... Does she like to collect anything? Perhaps a trip once a week to a nearby town/city/village to rummage for items might be a fun thing to plan... or maybe a "movie night" once a week, where she gets to choose the film you go see (of course) would be nice... What about getting her to totally reorganize the house (she could tell you where to move everything and you could dust/clean as you move)... Photography? You could do arrangements of things in the house for her to photograph... or go out into the back yard and snap pictures... What about finding a long book and taking turns reading to one another? Or... is she well enough to come into the kitchen and bake? One can spend hours decorating cakes!... Scrap-booking? Poetry-writing? Singing to karaoke? What sorts of things did she enjoy when she was well? Try and do variations of those things that aren't physically stressful/draining... tame things down a bit... they don't have to be "tasks" as such... just things she can find to enjoy that fill up the time. Best of luck... M. Rebekah 28 Jan 12, 12:33 AM 766-003-205 US(CA), 11 mths Y! 101-852-802 wrote: Setting tasks for Mistress Before everyone shouts at me let me explain. Mistress has run here own business for quite a long time now, but for the last four years she has spent quite a lot of time in hospital. The last time was to have her gall bladder out, which isn't to bad but it took so long to get sorted out that she is left with a hiatus hernia. Mistress also has crohn's diease both rheumatiod and osteo arthritis. The last opperation on her shoulder hasn't worked properly and she is in a lot of pain every time she moves. So I am watching her get very depressed. The business has gone and she is finding it hard to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. SO I am trying to think of little jobs to just help get her motivated again.HELP. Well, i have been in your position. It is a more difficult one for you because you are consciously in an M/s relationship. We lived that way- but we didn't know what it was- so i just learned how to do things. Pay the bills do the ALL of the work, learn to "take on" customer service when needed etc. Pain meds also hinder healthy mentation so it adds to depression. She sounds like she needs perhaps antidepressants and a cognitive therapist. It means taking charge in an unfamiliar way because YOU have to be the pusher. Can you see if she would be willing to take regular walks, drive her to pleasant places like the beach, the woods, shopping etc? Get a light exercise program going? One problem with arthritis is it hurts to move AND gets worse because you don't move. If she is not good at pain tolerance (i know MANY "M"'s who are not at all for themselves)this is more difficult. Has she ever received biological therapy for the RA? Remicade (infliximab)is very effective. Feel free to Pm me with specifics if you want. Each situation is different and people vary day to day and your challenges will be many. Perhaps she can micromanage you a bit. 28 Jan 12, 1:45 AM SeanT70 9 yrs 101-852-802 wrote: Setting tasks for Mistress Before everyone shouts at me let me explain. Mistress has run here own business for quite a long time now, but for the last four years she has spent quite a lot of time in hospital. The last time was to have her gall bladder out, which isn't to bad but it took so long to get sorted out that she is left with a hiatus hernia. Mistress also has crohn's diease both rheumatiod and osteo arthritis. The last opperation on her shoulder hasn't worked properly and she is in a lot of pain every time she moves. So I am watching her get very depressed. The business has gone and she is finding it hard to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. SO I am trying to think of little jobs to just help get her motivated again.HELP. I wouldn't suggest it was possible for you to get shouted at on this subject to be honest; you have the Number 1 Priority in order here; your M's health and welfare, and no-one can find fault for that, I shouldn't think. No matter what you do, don't think any amount achieved is too little - any step forward is a bonus Best advice offered by 766. Regards, Sean. 28 Jan 12, 2:29 AM SL_precious CA, 3 yrs I am very sorry to hear your mistress is in poor health. I don't have any advice better than what has been given already, I just wanted to wish you both strength during this difficult time. Your deep love and devotion to her is evident, I am sure you are a great comfort to her. Take care, precious "Amazing what happens when we let go, surrender all and embrace the painful changes that are necessary to bring wholeness, and a brighter tomorrow." Suzanne Sondberg 28 Jan 12, 9:24 AM 689-247-922 UK, 17 mths 101-852-802 wrote: Setting tasks for Mistress ... Mistress also has crohn's diease both rheumatiod and osteo arthritis. The last opperation on her shoulder hasn't worked properly and she is in a lot of pain every time she moves. So I am watching her get very depressed. The business has gone and she is finding it hard to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. SO I am trying to think of little jobs to just help get her motivated again.HELP. Hello @101-852-802, i just wanted to add another possibility. i suffer from depression: i very briefly tried anti-depressants and don't want to again, i've gone through various counselling episodes in the past - which has helped, particularly CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). But this last bout has been tamed, in part, by a health supplement suggested by my friend who's a nutritionalist. It's 5-htp and some sort of natural serotonin, i believe. The bottle suggests 50 to 100mg per day, but she suggested 300mg for a bit of a blast. So i've taken between 300 and 100mg for about a week now and already feel the blackness all but gone. She did say if an effect isn't felt fairly quickly, it's probably not going to work - so no huge wait to see if it works, as with pharmaceutical anti-depressants. My friend became a nutritionalist because she herself suffered from Chrohn's Disease and so she learnt how to tackle it from as many sides as possible. It's a really horrid ailment, isn't it. Anyway, perhaps your Mistress could benefit from either trying 5-htp or even a visit to a nutritionist, as well as the other good advices given above. i wish you both the very best of luck and am delighted that you have each other, jx (edited to add a couple of missing words) Edited 28 Jan 12, 9:29 AM by 689-247-922 29 Jan 12, 6:37 PM AmberStClare UK, 4 mths A few practical suggestions which may work if she is depressed. Firstly, is she eating properly? A vitamin supplement may help here especially if she has been ill. St John's Wort is useful in lifting depression and is non-habit forming. You can buy it at any health food shop. I know its difficult in the UK in winter but sunshine can help enormously. Try persuading her to get out in the fresh air when its sunny. Exercise also is wonderful for lifting the mood. Even a gentle walk is beneficial. 30 Jan 12, 10:05 PM 101-852-802 UK, 15 mths Thankyou everyone for your replys, mistress used to make greeting cards and decoupage pictures but she is finding that hard at the moment with her hands being swollen. we are going to ask the doctor about remicade and 5htp supliments. Again thankyou it helps just being able to talk about it.