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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Coming back......" Coming back...... (9) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Sat 23 Jul 11, 5:40 AM 483-010-531 US(KY), 11 mths Y! I have been trying to get back to lifestlye for a couple years now... I am far from perfect and been on my own so long I forget my place at times. Recently i thought i had found my owner and jumped right in..only to be disguarded once again. I am discouraged and unsure if i even belong ....I was wondering if i could get some advise on the right way to get back in the lifestyle without being hurt and blind to the games some play. I hope i dont offend anyone and all i just don't really know what to do ..... Edited Sat 23 Jul 11, 5:41 AM by 483-010-531 23 Jul 11, 4:21 PM slave_torianna US(GA), 15 mths The best advice I can give is to just be cautious. Personally I used to trust EVERYONE until they gave me a reason not to...now I trust NO ONE until yhey prove they can be trusted. Take extra time to get to know someone...and I mean really get to know the person inside before jumping into something and not just basing everything on sex and the few sweet lines He/She may have thrown out (not saying.this is what u have done, I have and only example I could think of) Wish u the best on ur journey, slave torianna I also suggest looking at the older threads here on TSR...we r lucky to have many wise slaves here that have posted amazing advice that may help u along the way. He is my Rock, He is my Owner, He is my Savior, He is my Father 23 Jul 11, 6:31 PM Slave_Karrie 10 mths 483-010-531 wrote: Coming back...... I have been trying to get back to lifestlye for a couple years now... I am far from perfect and been on my own so long I forget my place at times. Recently i thought i had found my owner and jumped right in..only to be disguarded once again. I am discouraged and unsure if i even belong ....I was wondering if i could get some advise on the right way to get back in the lifestyle without being hurt and blind to the games some play. I hope i dont offend anyone and all i just don't really know what to do ..... I recommend being guarded to a point. Make a list of things you need from the lifestyle. Do you want to be a 24/7 or a part-time? Do you want a Master or a Mistress? What are your hard and soft limits? Are you willing to relocate? Once you have some answers you can start looking to find what you need. Heck, to get back in maybe attempt to find someone to train or retrain you. Good luck. 23 Jul 11, 6:34 PM Slave_Karrie 10 mths SlaveTori4Daddy wrote: The best advice I can give is to just be cautious. Personally I used to trust EVERYONE until they gave me a reason not to...now I trust NO ONE until yhey prove they can be trusted. slave torianna I also suggest looking at the older threads here on TSR...we r lucky to have many wise slaves here that have posted amazing advice that may help u along the way. I am glad to hear someone else say they don't trust anyone unless they earn it. I also use to trust easily and have been burned. I have a theory that my Master taught me. It is basically think of the worst thing a person can do and expect it because they probably will. 23 Jul 11, 7:12 PM judith UK, 15 mths SlaveTori4Daddy wrote: The best advice I can give is to just be cautious. Personally I used to trust EVERYONE until they gave me a reason not to...now I trust NO ONE until yhey prove they can be trusted. Take extra time to get to know someone...and I mean really get to know the person inside before jumping into something and not just basing everything on sex and the few sweet lines He/She may have thrown out (not saying.this is what u have done, I have and only example I could think of) Wish u the best on ur journey, slave torianna TAKE NOTE THIS IS SOUND ADVISE /as i have been on the recieving end and ended up hostpitalized . slave j ..... I also suggest looking at the older threads here on TSR...we r lucky to have many wise slaves here that have posted amazing advice that may help u along the way. 23 Jul 11, 7:51 PM Ulfs_kitten UK, 8 yrs Hello I agree with all the advice given first you need to set up your list of needs and expectation in an owner what are you seeking to sub or to be slave to live as part time or full time with a Master /Mistress do you like poly or not would be happy in a house with more than one slave or not what are your hard core NOs what are your limits and why create your profile and then when someone approaches you do not submit to them at all keep everything friendly till you feel you can trust make suer you gain the right information and that they are not just playing. I used to never submit online at all because I would get let down so many times when it turned out they were not telling the absolute truth I was seeking 24/7 nothing else would do so I did not want to play with anyone I wanted a Master to own me and to really own me one I could live. It took me a frew years to find him but even them we took things slowly till he knew I was the one for him. we used to just meet for weekends at first go to munches together to fetish nights but always to public events. then and only then did I feel able to give more and more each time. I wish you luck on your search Ulfs_kitten 23 Jul 11, 8:10 PM mutable 2 yrs 483-010-531 wrote: Coming back...... I have been trying to get back to lifestlye for a couple years now... I am far from perfect and been on my own so long I forget my place at times. Recently i thought i had found my owner and jumped right in..only to be disguarded once again. I am discouraged and unsure if i even belong ....I was wondering if i could get some advise on the right way to get back in the lifestyle without being hurt and blind to the games some play. I hope i dont offend anyone and all i just don't really know what to do ..... What do you want for yourself? Forget about what's rattling round in your head; all the bdsm master slave stuff, the sex, the dating sites, the noise that we chase after. Shut it out and relax, for an hour or more, give yourself a little time with yourself, revel in your 'quiet' moment and see what pops up. Is it that you are sub/slave? Really? Do you think you've thought this through, properly? Perhaps you need a little more 'quiet' time? Look... even IF you need a d-type to feel fulfilled, you will acknowledge that you have to work on yourself, first. I say this because 'jumping in' to whatever apparent relationship comes your way is a fool's game - you know this. So... first, be as clear as possible to yourself as to what you need/want. Second, know your limitations and boundaries and third, love yourself enough not to 'settle'. Also, if it pop's up you are vanilla, that's good - because at least you know. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are'. Anais Nin 23 Jul 11, 9:06 PM 483-010-531 US(KY), 11 mths Y! Thanks for the advise.. I know what it is I want now it's a matter of finding it were I am from there is no munchies or anything I won't give up it is just a matter of time.. Thanks again.... 27 Jul 11, 6:29 PM Master_SL CA, 5 yrs 483-010-531 wrote: Coming back...... I have been trying to get back to lifestlye for a couple years now... I am far from perfect and been on my own so long I forget my place at times. Recently i thought i had found my owner and jumped right in..only to be disguarded once again. I am discouraged and unsure if i even belong ....I was wondering if i could get some advise on the right way to get back in the lifestyle without being hurt and blind to the games some play. I hope i dont offend anyone and all i just don't really know what to do ..... Hello 531, This lifestyle and life in general can be challenging at times. You may already know the answers to your own questions, sometimes we just neglect to listen to ourselves because we lack the confidence. Keep your chin up! Regards, Master_SL 27 Jul 11, 7:08 PM naughtyslave US, 2 yrs 483-010-531 wrote: Coming back...... I have been trying to get back to lifestlye for a couple years now... I am far from perfect and been on my own so long I forget my place at times. Recently i thought i had found my owner and jumped right in..only to be disguarded once again. I am discouraged and unsure if i even belong ....I was wondering if i could get some advise on the right way to get back in the lifestyle without being hurt and blind to the games some play. I hope i dont offend anyone and all i just don't really know what to do ..... hello 483, i am sorry you are having such a tough time. i think you know that you belong..you are just running into the wrong fit for you. i will give you the advice my dear friend and Mentor gave to me. (1) if you found him online..chat for a month before you meet. (2) if you are interested in him further, meet three times in a public place before ever agreeing to play. (3) ask for refrences of His last subs..this will tell you alot. If any of these things are to much for Him then He is not worth your time. If He is truly a Master worthy of you he will totally understand and gladly follow these guidelines. These three steps will help control your needs and weed out the wanna get laid men using the lifestyle as a loophole. Oh and careful talking on the phone too soon as they can be very pushy and before you know it you have set aside your own standards. Also Doms have a gift of listening. Try to be patient and listen. Try not to give them too much information on what your needs are because its crazy how many can be your perfect fit after a few conversations of you telling them all they need to know. So if you ask questions without revealing your own likes or dislikes on the subject (which can be very tricky but learned through practice) they will eventually reveal the things you need to know. As subs we tend to ramble off anything they ask about. Make sure you are not distracted and listen to what they reveal....this can be very important to seeing if they truly are a good fit. example: (1) i have seen some interesting pictures of K9 at fet....no emotion this opens the door to find out his feelings on it, or (2) i have seen some nasty pictures of these subs with K9...too much info where he can bullshit you on how he doesnt like it The reason being is because after the collar is on..Master just might bring home a puppy after telling you in the beginning he wouldnt go there. i have met some pretty bad Doms due to my own excitement and lack of ability to think with my big head instead of..<winks> i have learned hard lessons due to this and now that i have been schooled i am picking up some tricks of my own. One more example for you is this...i had a Dom find me and request to meet me never even seeing a picture of me. He spent all of 10 mintues talking to me. i told him i do not just run out and meet people and i gave my 3 rules. He told me that he is a Dom and doesnt have the patience for this....so a Dom without patience tells me i am talking to a man with a hard on and not a Dom at all...who the hell would want one that doesnt have the patience to learn anything about you other then your a sub...give them the space and they will reveal what you need to know. i do wish you luck and all though it is very frustrating..keep your eye on the prize...the Master worthy of your submission...He is out there just have to find him through the rubble. hope some of this helps... Take care, naughty