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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "slave delusion..." 1 2 slave delusion... (12) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Fri 22 Apr 11, 9:43 PM mugglez UK, 15 mths This slave needs some help on something that has been on his mind for sometime now. As yet, this slave is still unowned, and is looking for his Master. However, in his searching he is getting increasingly frustrated with the search. Mainly because either of using other various websites other than the TSR, that the potential Master is looking for a quick thrill to further their own ego, or is this slave setting the 'standard' too high of what he thinks his Master should be? Some Masters have wanted instant obedience/loyalty to do things without even meeting up, or even the 'getting to know you' period, or because slave does not have a webcam will refuse to even entertain even chatting to this slave (which in itself makes this slave suspicious) sorry if this causes offence out there in the O/P. slave supposes he is asking, whether he should lower his 'standard' or not, as he knows he has a lot to give his Master, and does not want to just throw this away. All help and advice is gratefully received. 22 Apr 11, 9:58 PM Kaycee US(UT), 14 mths mugglez wrote: slave delusion... Some Masters have wanted instant obedience/loyalty to do things without even meeting up, or even the 'getting to know you' period, or because slave does not have a webcam will refuse to even entertain even chatting to this slave (which in itself makes this slave suspicious) sorry if this causes offence out there in the O/P. That is a red flag instant obedience before meeting no way in my book that get to know you period is very important obedience and loyalty as respect and trust are earned and can not be forced to early i believe a slaves standards should be high as to get the right master or mistress not just what is avalable at the moment my master approved this post My collar is the best gift i ever received! My name is pet i belong to MasteringHerWill forever. Edited 22 Apr 11, 9:59 PM by Kaycee 22 Apr 11, 10:19 PM Vidwan UK, 2 yrs I also agree that is a Master is demanding instant obedience, then they may be simply getting off on the chat and just playing games with you, or they don't have a bigger view of how a potential M/s relationship fits into 'real life'. To demand instant obedience when you are having your first introductory chat with a Master seems to me to suggest an immature approach. I also find the process of finding and meeting a Master equally as frustrating, as you know. As a slave 'online friend' of yours, i know that we share the same frustrations. Part of the problem is that there don't seem to be any dedicated websites for Masters and slaves seeking to find each other and form genuine relationships. The only sites i can find are primarily fetish sites, so they are crammed full of people who roleplay, and aren't seeking any real relationship or commitment. This is why you/we face the problems you/we face. If anyone knows of any websites that are specifically for Masters and slaves to find they 'partner', then i'm sure we would both be very interested. michael 22 Apr 11, 10:33 PM 364-940-629 US(TX), 22 mths This slave believes that having high standards when choosing a Master important. Committing yourself unconditionally to someone is a huge decision and not something to be taken lightly. This slave was extremely lucky to meet its current Master at a former job. We/we were good friends for over a year before starting Our/our beautiful journey. This slave is thankful that We/we took our time to get to know each other and most importantly, develop trust. This slave has benefited from taking its time in finding a Master. Anything worth having in my own humble opinion, is worth the time and effort. There are a lot of good people on this site that are helpful, listen to them. i wish you luck on finding the right Master for you. Be well. 23 Apr 11, 1:35 AM mistressK CA, 16 mths High standards are important, and it looks like I'm the first Mistress/Owner to answer. I tell potentials to treat me like a person first, a Domme second because I am not *their* Domme/Owner/Mistress yet. Any red flags used in dating can as easily be used in selecting an owner (slave). Someone who does not know you and has not met you and does not own you is not *your* owner and should not have to be treated as such. Don't fall for the 'Dom/me' makes all the rules when you are in the getting to know stage. Just don't go there. The "right" one for you sounds like a level headed person who will see you as a person first, property second. Don't settle for anything less than that, and don't spend five seconds apologizing to anyone who demands anything of you pre-meeting. If I came up to you on the street and said "On your knees, slave!" would you do it or would you look at me like I was quite insane, or incredibly rude? Standards are good. They are what make for good slaves/property. -K ------------------- "I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying." (Shawshank Redemption) 23 Apr 11, 4:30 AM Master_Brisbane AU, 13 mths Y! I agree with Mistress K below........a true bonding is one learnt and fostered. It cannot be there immediately. Knowing a person is the only way they can find their compatible Master / Submissive 23 Apr 11, 6:06 AM deaincaelo US(VA), 17 mths It's a two sided problem. You're looking for someone for a meaningful longterm relationship. So is the person you're looking for. Not being willing to webcam right away is prudent, but for a real relationship a real life connection is necessary. A better dating site would be good solution for everyone. 23 Apr 11, 8:01 AM Sir_Aldric 5 yrs mugglez wrote: slave delusion... ..slave supposes he is asking, whether he should lower his 'standard' or not.. I can feel your frustration in your post and your question if you should lower your standards hit a nerve. Let me be clear on this one: Never ever lower your standards. Never. Doing so life will hit you back in the face later on leaving you behind even more frustrated. It is not you; you are ok as slave in what you seek. You were just unfortunate so far in your quest to find the right Master. Be proactive, make sure your profile expresses you as you are, mention there exactly what you seek in a Master. Participate in the many discussions here, let your opinion on a M/s relation as you see it be heard. Meet people locally where possible. And be sure: without lowering your standards, that Master will come one day, just don't give up hope.. Sir Aldric 23 Apr 11, 8:40 AM GentleOwner CA, 2 yrs I can't agree more with what has been said above. I would not demand obedience from a slave that has not committed to me. Until you make that commitment, you not in service and you are free to make your choices. Your choice to give up that freedom and commit to a master should not be made lightly. I understand that you feel lost right now, but do not lower your standards. I promise that the right person is worth waiting for. 23 Apr 11, 1:36 PM DrakaMaster UK, 2 yrs I think the same situation pertains from an owner's perspective too. Finding candidates who are serious about being owned and making a long term commitment is very difficult. I suspect the constituency of people who are interested in BDSM is quite large, but those who actually want to do something about it that will impact their lives is fairly small. We probably should not be surprised about this. After all, becoming a slave or being an owner is a considerable commitment and both take time and real effort. The internet has been both a boon and a curse in my view. A boon as it opens up the possibility of entering this world to many more people than hitherto would have had access to it. But a curse because it inevitably also opens up approaches from those who want a temporary thrill, but would shy a million miles away from a long-term relationship. People want what they want and we should just accept this. I have four slaves which some people on here have found astounding. But ... I have been in this world for getting on for 30 years, and it's maybe only in the last 10 - 15 years that I have have been fortunate enough through personal circumstances to put my dreams into practice. A strike rate of four sympathetic individuals who want to be the type of slave I seek is maybe not that impressive given the period of time I have been active. I would also say that, while the internet can undoubtedly be helpful, personal contacts are probably even more so. I found two of my four slaves from personal contacts, and two via the net. Although the search for either a Master or a slave can seem almost impossible at times and very frustrating, if it is what one really wants, one perseveres. And, hopefully, with perseverence will come the reward of what a person is seeking. May I wish you the best of luck. And don't give up! Edited 23 Apr 11, 1:42 PM by DrakaMaster 23 Apr 11, 3:08 PM 913-643-445 UK, 18 mths Do you have to meet a Master online? There are a number of munches held around the UK , which have regular meetings and a chance to get to know a potential owners in a safe environment. Having said that i met my One on I.C. , however we did exchange emails , phone calls etc for a while before we met .... and now live 24/7 very happily. Stick to gut instincts ..there are some good people out there.. hugs and light saffy ps in my opinion no one is worth lowering my standards for. There are a number of for Him with my heart , mind , body and soul always . Next page