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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Opinions / help understanding" 1 2 3 Opinions / help understanding (29) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Thu 14 Apr 11, 11:12 PM SIR_Conwolf US(MA), 14 mths Good evening fellow M/members, I am not sure what I am trying to accomplish by writing this, but I hope both slaves and Masters will have interesting input to my situation. I purchased a "permanent" collar for my girl, and she doesn't want to wear it. She feels it is too "hard". I asked her if I TOLD her to wear it would she, and the answer was immediately yes. She currently has a necklace as a collar with 2 tags and is very happy with that. I however am not. I don't want to force her to wear the new one, it seems as though it would defeat the purpose. I feel like by presenting her with the new one I was putting my full feelings out there for her and she was dismissive. Does anyone have any experiences like this or any thoughts? I think basically my feelings are just hurt. Thank you in advance for your thoughtful input, SIR_Conwolf 14 Apr 11, 11:55 PM SIR_Conwolf US(MA), 14 mths Very insightful. Thank you. I want her to be happy, putting myself aside. I think you hit the nail on the head. Not sure what to do about it, but it certainly helps me understand my own feelings. Being Dominate comes so naturally to me, she has been hurt in the past and has major guards up. I try to respect that and help her understand what I am trying to offer. She fully acknowledges her submissive side but it scares her. 15 Apr 11, 12:32 AM princess_adela US(WA), 20 mths i do wear a permanent collar. When it was presented to me i was overjoyed...however... i was a touch apprehensive about wearing it 24/7. You see i work with the public, in healthcare, and i knew there would come a time when someone would "know" what it was. That time HAS come on a few occasions but it really didn't matter. Wearing my Master's collar is far more important to me than what others think. i just "wear it like i own it"! Or does it own me?? Whatever, you know what i'm saying. So saying that, i believe if you insist she wear the collar it will become natural and comfortable for her. Change is always hard... even for us slaves. Take care. dc 15 Apr 11, 1:22 AM naughtyslave US, 2 yrs SIR_Conwolf wrote: Opinions / help understanding Good evening fellow M/members, I am not sure what I am trying to accomplish by writing this, but I hope both slaves and Masters will have interesting input to my situation. I purchased a "permanent" collar for my girl, and she doesn't want to wear it. She feels it is too "hard". I asked her if I TOLD her to wear it would she, and the answer was immediately yes. She currently has a necklace as a collar with 2 tags and is very happy with that. I however am not. I don't want to force her to wear the new one, it seems as though it would defeat the purpose. I feel like by presenting her with the new one I was putting my full feelings out there for her and she was dismissive. Does anyone have any experiences like this or any thoughts? I think basically my feelings are just hurt. Thank you in advance for your thoughtful input, SIR_Conwolf i suppose i am confused why wearing a permanent collar is too hard. i would think that D.c's reaction is right on. What honor to have your Master bring home such a collar. Getting your ass beat is hard...wearing your Master's collar is a privilege i know that i look forward to the day when i have "His" collar around my neck and have it be a permanent one to boot! Take care, naughty 15 Apr 11, 2:00 AM SIR_Conwolf US(MA), 14 mths Naughty you always have such fun / wonderful things to say. When my.girl said " its too hard" she didn't mean it as difficult. She meant that the collar itself had too hard of an appearance. I hope I am not painting her (or myself) in a negative manner. We are very happy and all of the vanilla people surrounding us compliment that we have the most amazing marriage they have ever seen. We are very much more O/p than BDSM. I am a very loving, caring, supportive owner who will do anything to.avoid seeing pain in her eyes. I will be tough if I need to, but she hardly gives me reason to be. I know this is not the "norm" for most on this site, but it works for us. This is really the first O/p issue we have faced. I suppose I should throw her in a crate till she gets it huh? S_C 15 Apr 11, 2:21 AM naughtyslave US, 2 yrs SIR_Conwolf wrote: Naughty you always have such fun / wonderful things to say. When my.girl said " its too hard" she didn't mean it as difficult. She meant that the collar itself had too hard of an appearance. I hope I am not painting her (or myself) in a negative manner. We are very happy and all of the vanilla people surrounding us compliment that we have the most amazing marriage they have ever seen. We are very much more O/p than BDSM. I am a very loving, caring, supportive owner who will do anything to.avoid seeing pain in her eyes. I will be tough if I need to, but she hardly gives me reason to be. I know this is not the "norm" for most on this site, but it works for us. This is really the first O/p issue we have faced. I suppose I should throw her in a crate till she gets it huh? S_C lol i see all kinds of things when "its too hard" is written...sorry Sir. was just confused. Is the collar that obvious?People wear the craziest things these days...maybe no one would notice unless there was a tag that hung down to her belly that said i am a slave. giggling just playing with you Take care, naughty 15 Apr 11, 3:43 AM Kaycee US(UT), 14 mths My master purchased an eternity collar for me to wear. The first few days it was slightly uncomfortable when i moved certain ways but it was only because i was not used to it. it gets very comfortable after wear. Everyone i know doesn't even know what it is all, they think it is an unusual necklace. i Love it it is the best thing ever, i feel very happy knowing it is there and only He has the key. The best part is i feel very owned and loved that he would want to have that kind of collar on me, it makes me proud. My collar is the best gift i ever recieved! My name is pet i belong to MasteringHerWill forever. 15 Apr 11, 4:25 AM SeanT70 9 yrs With regard to your girl not wishing to wear the new collar SC, I suspect much of her apprehension comes from not having had experience of it all. There have been many threads and posts on this subject, but the long and short of it is that anyone wearing a rigid collar that is heavier than a necklace will very soon get used to wearing it, and should it need to be taken off for any reason, they will miss it dearly. My advice here would be this, allow her to wear the one she has now (place of safety, as it were), and put the new collar on too, by your own hand; it is after all, a collar you want her to wear, by your own choice, rather than hers, as your property. You might find she takes some comfort in that. Sleeping in a rigid collar takes about 2-3 nights to get used to properly. Regards, Sean. 15 Apr 11, 5:00 AM 491-240-043 CA, 15 mths I would wonder what exactly her objections are to the collar and of course this is where the communication part comes in. I myself work in a place where it would be completely inappropriate to have anything other than a necklace around my neck. We are also surrounded by vanilla people and nobody actually knows what goes on behind closed doors so to speak so I certainly wouldn't want to draw attention to that. I know that is the position I would take with my Sir if he wanted me to wear something I deemed inappropriate for our situation. I would wear it whenever around him and if we were just going out in public I wouldn't care so much, but not where I was going to be around anyone that truly knew me/us. Hope that makes sense. 15 Apr 11, 6:23 AM princess_adela US(WA), 20 mths Not a bad idea if you have the time, Sir. Would you care to share a photo of the collar so we could state more educated opinions on why she wouldn't want to wear it? Regards. dc 15 Apr 11, 6:29 AM DomBiker US(AZ), 17 mths Y! Let Me relate My experience I had with a former slave,maybe this will help Back when I had a slave, she wore My collar, this was by no means a permanent but she worn it proudly, W/we had talked from the beginning of O/our relationship about My requirement that she wear a permanent collar,as O/our relationship progressed, that day finally arrived. Since she worked with the public and was not happy with the idea but agreed that she was My slave and My decision would be final I thought long and hard about her concerns and W/we had many long, deep discussions on that very subject. One night I told her I would have a surprise for her the next day, W/we had been discussing a romantic weekend and I'm sure that what she thought the surprise was The next day came and it was just a typical day, as the day worn on, I could see and feel her disappointment, after all, I did promise her a surprise. Well it was just after dinner and she was pissed, probably thought I lied to her.After the dishes were done and the table was cleared, she came over to the couch where I was watching T.V., she sat a My feet, I asked her if she was ready for her surprise ?. Needless to say, the look I got was not a look of joy. Without saying another word, I got and went over to My computer, I signaled her to follow, as W/we sat,well I sat and she knelt, I turned the computer on, went to the bookmarks I selected early, they were various collar sites. You see, the surprise I promised her was allowing her to pick out her own permanent collar The look, reaction and tears of joy that followed were indescribable, W/we looked though about a dozen sites before she decided on the collar she wanted, I purchased this collar, had it engraved and and presented it to her. She worn this collar with even more pride,it was very elegant and she received many compliments, most people, accept maybe those in the lifestyle, never even suspected it's true meeting, which was know, of course, by the two who mattered most You see, even a permanent collar does not to be "hard" or "rigid",check around, there are many sites and therefore many choices I understand Your concerns and her's as well, I hope this help, it sure worked for Me Next page