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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Being a D" Being a D (6) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Thu 10 Mar 11, 2:00 AM Sir_A_Griff CA, 3 yrs I recently saw "A Letter to Elia" by Martin Scorsese which contains an excerpt from a lecture by Elia Kazan on being a director. I think he speaks also about the qualities of a Dom. Griff Source: http://www.dga.org/news/features/elia-kazan.php3 "What qualities does he need? Here are a few. Those of -A white hunter leading a safari into dangerous and unknown country; A psychoanalyst who keeps a patient functioning despite intolerable tensions and stresses, both professional and personal; A hypnotist, who works with the unconscious to achieve his ends; The cunning of a trader in a Baghdad bazaar. The firmness of an animal trainer. Obvious. Tigers! A great host. At a sign from him fine food and heartwarming drink appear. The kindness of an old-fashioned mother who forgives all. The authority and sternness of her husband, the father, who forgives nothing, expects obedience without question, brooks no nonsense. A very thick skin. A very sensitive soul. Simultaneously. The patience, the persistence, the fortitude of a saint, the appreciation of pain, a taste for self-sacrifice, everything for the cause. Cheeriness, jokes, playfulness, alternating with sternness, unwavering firmness. Pure doggedness. An unwavering refusal to take less than he thinks right out of a scene, a performer, a co-worker, a member of his staff, himself. Direction, finally, is the exertion of your will over other people, disguise it, gentle it, but that is the hard fact. Above all-COURAGE. Courage, said Winston Churchill, is the greatest virtue; it makes all the others possible. One final thing. The ability to say "I am wrong," or 'I was wrong." Not as easy as it sounds. But in many situations, these three words, honestly spoken will save the day. They are the words, very often, that the actors struggling to give the director what he wants, most need to hear from him. Those words, "I was wrong, let's try it another way," the ability to say them can be a life-saver." 10 Mar 11, 4:40 PM rhuafox CA, 19 mths Sir Griff, Ooooooo.... yes please, I would like a D/O/M just like that!! Please, please, please!!! rhua rhuafox 10 Mar 11, 6:09 PM Celtic_Sir US, 17 mths I hope to show those qualities to my Ahava. , Celtic Sir. 12 Mar 11, 6:51 AM mutable 2 yrs ** stumped ** Is all of that realistic, in one person, consistantly? I mean, some of it is contradictory as is; mother who forgives all vs. father who forgives nothing. Then other inconsistancies such as 'cunning trader' and 'firm (animal) trainer' - I'd like to see them go head to head! Just think about what it means. Yep, it sounds great... but really? 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are'. Anais Nin 12 Mar 11, 3:08 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs Sir_A_Griff wrote: The firmness of an animal trainer. Obvious. Tigers! I seem to remember the sad tale of a pair of German animal trainers (tigers were their love) working in a very famous Las Vegas performance. One day one of these expert animal trainers was attacked by their tiger and brutally mauled and left for dead. To this day he is crippled and not living near the life he once did and has never resumed his tiger training career. All the firmness in the world will not save you or help you when the superior strength of the tiger decides to turn on you. Oh how the mighty fall. I think these types of qualities tend to create a false sense of ability. Maybe Masters should cultivate some humbleness. I dare say, I have come across a few here that really do need to take a good hard look in the mirror as they are not as wonderful and perfect as they or their egos project... and the rotten interior that is exposed when they are uncovered as the frauds they really are... well as you can imagine... stinks. "With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity." ~ Keshavan Nair 12 Mar 11, 4:54 PM AnonMoos US, 5 yrs Siegfried and Roy -- not sure they were really "expert animal trainers", though... 12 Mar 11, 11:05 PM Prolixitys_Saphira US, 16 mths pet_ka_MJ wrote: I seem to remember the sad tale of a pair of German animal trainers (tigers were their love) working in a very famous Las Vegas performance. One day one of these expert animal trainers was attacked by their tiger and brutally mauled and left for dead. To this day he is crippled and not living near the life he once did and has never resumed his tiger training career. Or if you accept Roy's explanation, the tiger was just confused by changes in the routine, thought his trainer and was trying to drag him off to safety. Then the moral of the story might be "love hurts." On a more serious note, I don't know if I'd want all those qualities in my Owner. "A white hunter leading a safari into dangerous and unknown country?" He knows where he is going with me, what he wants me to become and knows me well enough to anticipate how I will react -- hardly dangerous and unknown country. "A psychoanalyst who keeps a patient functioning despite intolerable tensions and stresses, both professional and personal?" That sentence makes it sound like being in an O/p relationship is pure hell. If such a relationship was pure hell, it would be a rare and not necessarily sane person who would be involved with one. Owned, protected and loved by Prolixity