KinkPodcasts.com - podcasts about BDSM, Fetish and Kink    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "what say you" 1 2 3 what say you (22) This post is on the O&P web board. Fri 31 Dec 10, 1:10 AM Sevdah US(MN), 2 yrs so im curious as to how many couples out there have gone past the ssc stuff and are into a lifstyle where the slave really has no choice period. they have to follow what their Master says whether it makes them uncomfortable or not. i always see slaves posting how theyd never do this or that no matter what master says, and to me thats not what i call a slave, but to each their own, i dont wish to bash anyone. Master and i do live in a tpe relationship, and i just cant understand the ssc idea in m/s or o/p, for me i see it as once you agree to be a slave, you agree to do as told no matter what. and i would do anything master asked of me but i also know my master would never ask me to say commit murder so its not hard for me to say id do anything. just to clarify, my views of ssc as ive seen it used on different boards, is the slave always has the option of walking away and saying no, which for me means they are sub not slave, but thats just my view. im just wondering how many couples out there have the same view as i do. agian please no bashing, i am simply looking for a good debate. edited so it wasnt a huge wall of words, and to add, that i hadnt actually read the other thread semipartaining to this question. with respect, Sevdah. Edited Fri 31 Dec 10, 1:27 AM by Sevdah 31 Dec 10, 1:27 AM bastets_daughter 2 yrs Sevdah wrote: what say you so im curious as to how many couples out there have gone past the ssc stuff and are into a lifstyle where the slave really has no choice period. they have to follow what their Master says whether it makes them uncomfortable or not. i always see slaves posting how theyd never do this or that no matter what master says, and to me thats not what i call a slave, but to each their own, i dont wish to bash anyone. Master and i do live in a tpe relationship, and i just cant understand the ssc idea in m/s or o/p, for me i see it as once you agree to be a slave, you agree to do as told no matter what. and i would do anything master asked of me but i also know my master would never ask me to say commit murder so its not hard for me to say id do anything. just to clarify, my views of ssc as ive seen it used on different boards, is the slave always has the option of walking away and saying no, which for me means they are sub not slave, but thats just my view. im just wondering how many couples out there have the same view as i do. agian please no bashing, i am simply looking for a good debate. personally, i feel that if a Master is willing to order a slave into something that is physically or mentally damaging....he's not really a Master of anything other than selfishness and lack of forethought. So i think that SSC applies more to the Master than to the slave, in as much as he could irreparably damage his standing if he doesnt know what he's doing. And lose a slave in the process. If a slave *wants* to leave, something has gone very very wrong in the dynamic. 31 Dec 10, 1:38 AM Sevdah US(MN), 2 yrs i agree there, i was more thinking about all the slaves that tell people to run away cuz its not ssc for them or whatnot, if the master is a good master in my mind a slave should have no need or want to leave or worry if theyll be ok, they can just submit and let the master be a master. with respect, Sevdah. 31 Dec 10, 3:36 AM slave_emma US(OK), 6 yrs Y! Being one of those slaves that walked away from the relationship with my former master I can tell you that SSC or any other acronym had very little to do with it. I think the fact that I was able to leave. Shows more of a breakdown o f not only the overall relationship; but also a breakdown any power exchange that we had. The fact that there is no way he would fit into SSC has more to do with him and his personal choices than me. The process of leaving was not as simple as me telling him that he isn't SSC and leaving. At the time, I was a newbie and it was really the first time I lived with anyone else besides my parents. I had suffered a long list of injuries over the course of our nine month relationship. He would randomly lash out at me in anger and to this day I do not understand why. Near the end of the relationship trying to please him seemed like an exercise in futility. The harder I tried to obey his every word the harsher I was treated. It wasn't until I was standing over a sink coughing up blood that I realized; this is not a good place to be in and things seemed to be getting worse not better. I did not have any money and I had no place to go so I did what any teenager would do. I called my parents for help. The months that followed my release and going back to living with my parents were not easy either. It felt like I had to learn to live all over again. My first visit after I got home was the doctor. I had infections and a broken sternum. Everyone kept telling me I should be really proud of myself for leaving and that I will be feeling better soon. The problem is I didn't feel proud of myself and I felt terrible. The injuries were one thing to deal with, but learning how to live without anyone telling me what to do was more difficult. I had to develop schedules and goals for myself just to create my little own comfort zone. Anyways I regress like Bastets_Daughter said SSC has more to do with the Master than the slave. In the relationship, I am in now that is pretty much the case. He decides what he wants to do, what he doesn't want to do and how far he will take something. He is very cautious and methodical. It is possible that he could do something to hurt me in a negative way. I do not feel it would be intentional or unnecessary. Best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 31 Dec 10, 3:53 AM capndependable 17 mths The Master trusts and knows their slave. The slave trusts and knows their Master. That boundary is stretched and expanded upon, but once broken is very hard to get back. IMO blind servitude is just that. Blind. 31 Dec 10, 4:05 AM Sevdah US(MN), 2 yrs @emma i was not implying its in any way weak or wrong to walk away from an abusive relationship. and i am sorry you endured that, i have been a victim of abuse as well. i was more speaking of healthy relationships, where there is trust and happiness, i was not implying anyone should blindly submit either, to me thats an exercise in stupidity. you should know the one you are submiting to and trust them fully, before commiting to a tpe, in my opinion. im sorry if my post was in any way confusing, it is hard for me to get my thoughts to form coherent sentences sometimes. edited to add...i am glad you found a good master after all that hardship emma with respect, Sevdah. Edited 31 Dec 10, 4:07 AM by Sevdah 31 Dec 10, 4:47 AM 741-498-880 4 yrs Hey, I'm not about to tell someone they aren't a M/s couple just because the Master allows them a safe word, or an out option if they aren't happy. That is their prerogative, and it's none of my damn business. haha. I personally couldn't be in a relationship were I had a way out, or a safe word.. (don't think I didn't ask for one though, and he even indulged me and gave me one... until I tried to use it.. then he informed me I no longer had one... LOL... i'm not dead, and i'm still here... ;o) Now, I don't identify as a submissive person, nor do I consider myself in a service oriented relationship, or a "yes sir" relationship. I say no.... I don't always do what I'm told... but we have a *control* and *force* based relationship. If I get a stick up my ass, he removes it and reminds me WHY I should do what he tells me the first time... ;o over the years, if I get a stick up my ass, he usually just arches a brow at me and I might grumble about it, but I do it.... because I know he'll follow through. Sometimes, the follow through is nice though since it IS our kink... it's just not a constant battle... just... an occasional one. 31 Dec 10, 5:39 AM slave_emma US(OK), 6 yrs Y! Sevdah wrote: @emma i was not implying its in any way weak or wrong to walk away from an abusive relationship. and i am sorry you endured that, i have been a victim of abuse as well. i was more speaking of healthy relationships, where there is trust and happiness, i was not implying anyone should blindly submit either, to me thats an exercise in stupidity. you should know the one you are submiting to and trust them fully, before commiting to a tpe, in my opinion. im sorry if my post was in any way confusing, it is hard for me to get my thoughts to form coherent sentences sometimes. edited to add...i am glad you found a good master after all that hardship emma Sevdah, Thank you for your reply. I think if someone is in a seemingly healthy relationship and one of the partners decides they aren't going to do something and they leave. Something is off. It could be reactance, it could be a poor match, or it could be that their relationship isn't really as healthy as it seems. It's really hard to say why those things happen without actually being there. Although, one particular instance may be the reason why the slave left there are probably a number of little to major instances leading up to that one instance. I think for most people who actually live together. The act of walking out the door takes more than one instance of something violating trust, communication, and etc. Saying no is to me a whole different issue. It depends on what the slave is saying no about and if the Master allows for it. I personally cannot use no to opt out of doing something, but I can use no to voice my opinion. Best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 31 Dec 10, 8:17 AM deaincaelo US(VA), 17 mths apologies if my thoughts are a little disjointed. its late. communication is important. a safeword is a means to communicate distress. as to determine if that meas stop, that depends on the owner and the dynamic. even as property, some things arnt right. a dog is property but you dont beat it. if you beat your dog, it runs away. the owner has broken trust and the animal knows that. it should never happen. but if it does, there needs to be a way out. the owner/property contract is already dead. there is a fine line between abuse and risky sex. theres a line between a safeword and ownership nullification. 31 Dec 10, 5:01 PM 647-070-616 US(IA), 20 mths jakesemma wrote: Hey, I'm not about to tell someone they aren't a M/s couple just because the Master allows them a safe word, or an out option if they aren't happy. That is their prerogative, and it's none of my damn business. haha. I personally couldn't be in a relationship were I had a way out, or a safe word.. (don't think I didn't ask for one though, and he even indulged me and gave me one... until I tried to use it.. then he informed me I no longer had one... LOL... i'm not dead, and i'm still here... ;o) Now, I don't identify as a submissive person, nor do I consider myself in a service oriented relationship, or a "yes sir" relationship. I say no.... I don't always do what I'm told... but we have a *control* and *force* based relationship. If I get a stick up my ass, he removes it and reminds me WHY I should do what he tells me the first time... ;o over the years, if I get a stick up my ass, he usually just arches a brow at me and I might grumble about it, but I do it.... because I know he'll follow through. Sometimes, the follow through is nice though since it IS our kink... it's just not a constant battle... just... an occasional one. Thanks for this post! After all the time I have spent reading these posts, I was begining to wonder if I was the only slave who dared say NO. lol. I by far prefer to challenge my Master's word from time to time and be reminded, as I am every time, that I can be forced 1 Jan 11, 9:59 PM Kaledorus US, 5 yrs There are all sorts of rules and so forth promulgated by the online and scene crowds. Personally I think it is all a bit silly. A slave is property and that is the bottom line. Of course how one uses that property may vary widely depending on the owner. If people are happy letting the "slave" or the "sub" determine what happens then that is fine with me because that is probably how 99% of the "D-s" crowd does it, in fact, if not theory. No safewords, no contracts, nothing. When you "submit" to or "dominate" someone in a situation where safewords are used and when limitations are negotiated, you are not actually submitting or dominating at all - you are playing at it. Next page