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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "hardest thing to change" 1 2 hardest thing to change (20) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 17 Nov 10, 7:52 PM mia UK, 11 yrs Two things for me, that probably sound really stupid, but they still make me cry sometimes, cos they're important to me. 1) That i'm not allowed whatever tattoos i want and that it's unlikely i'll be allowed (m)any more at all. Although i am getting one covered up soon with a beautiful flower, so it'll be a bit like getting a new one. and 2) That i'm not allowed to sleep at the top of the bed, with a pillow, like a normal person. It's so so hard having to sleep at the bottom with either a little cushion or none at all. I know some people sleep on the floor and stuff and it's not the comfort in and of itself, but the constant reminder that even sleeping in his bed is a priviledge and easily taken away on his whim. m, x 17 Nov 10, 8:43 PM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs -having no money, even pocket change, and having to make sure before i spend any money. -having people make goofy comments about my SLRN tattoo or locking collar (it looks like a dog collar. i know. get over it!) 898-443-818 i am a slave-i have no rights, no safewords, i do not say "no" to my Master. i do not have "limits". i have entered into consensual slavery, so that may help explain the views in my post. Please visit my vegan & weightloss blog: www.foodmasochist.blogspot.com 17 Nov 10, 9:40 PM 124-498-094 US, 21 mths I was also in a non-M/s relationship with my Master for about 8 years before we made the move to D/s and then M/s. (He was topping me just in the bedroom for several years however). The hardest thing for me was learning to keep my big mouth shut and let the Master speak and answer questions first in public/social situations, and ask for permission to answer first if I felt I had an exceptional response. This is not to say I am never allowed to respond, just not first. 17 Nov 10, 11:20 PM seresse US(PA), 23 mths Y! Wow. Great responses - thanks, everyone. i feel better hearing about everyone else's struggles. i can really relate to those making the shift to calling Him "Master". That is a struggle for me, as well. Sometimes i can't relate to what it actually means and it just feels weird - sort of like when i would call my parents by their given name instead of Mom or Dad. (Today is a good day and i love the feeling inside as i call Him "Master", though.) @jakesemma - i laughed at yours - i have done the same thing. It is a relief to be able to at least express your frustration, even if you still have to do it. @672-394-817 - i too have been very independent and made my own decisions for a long time, raising my two kids as a single mom for a number of years. i have had the same struggle to trust that Master's way of doing things is okay and i really can trust Him and let go of control. My animal is the horse. i grew up with horses that we used and worked, and i loved them and identified with them. So in a way i grew up with slaves and learned how to be stoical from them about having to do things i don't want to at someone else's orders. But still the one that just sticks in my craw right now is the sense of not being able to just state what i need and have Him attend to it. No, i have to soften and be humble and accept that He has the power and i must approach Him the way He wants me to. Argh! seresse 18 Nov 10, 8:37 AM tia1982 AU, 2 yrs In a previous vanilla relationship I was very much 'in charge' and responsible for a lot of things, and would have things done my way. My biggest challenge with Sir has been not to correct him (ie proof read a resume or letter and not just change straight up, but give feedback) and doing things his way (ie hanging washing a different way). It's something I have worked very hard at over 9mths, and although I still do things rarely it's getting a lot easier. Knowing I am doing something that will please him helps. There is still the odd thing (like re-packing the dishwasher after him, as it's all over the place and drives me nuts) but I put it down to a bit of OCD and he's adapted to let me pack it all the time, which suits us both I never had problems with Master or Sir, and would prefer to use that all the time if I could (kids makes that hard!) tia Property of Sir James 22 Nov 10, 10:03 PM ushaben UK, 2 yrs no longer having 'wants' but only what my Owner considered were my needs. 22 Nov 10, 10:27 PM rhuafox CA, 19 mths For me it is being patient. To rely on Master A to know when I should do a thing, and when I should not.... and to wait on his opinion...... That will be a lifelong struggle, I am sure. rhua rhuafox 23 Nov 10, 11:00 PM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs 124-498-094 wrote: The hardest thing for me was learning to keep my big mouth shut and let the Master speak and answer questions first in public/social situations, and ask for permission to answer first if I felt I had an exceptional response. This is not to say I am never allowed to respond, just not first. i have a similar challenge , and it is very hard for me still. MacCain hesitates and pauses for thought, and i still want to jump in and finish his sentences. i know better, and it makes him crazy mad, but i can't seem to stop. It is probably the single most common reason for me being punished. It is really difficult, because i'm not trying to make him crazy, i just feel like i know him so well... Oh, and i have a really annoying habit of saying "right" when ever i agree with someone. It also aggravates MacCain. That one i'm getting better about, if i agree i can manage to stay silent most of the time. p 23 Nov 10, 11:31 PM lil_one_anjuli 20 mths Well, there will be always hardest things with the time.... i am still new and i am sure some of my hardest things before dont bother me anymore now. have to say...begging is an art...we cant fake, we have to be genuine, and it is truly beautiful moment. Begging never comes easily to me even if i want to. It is not about pride ...i think. It is about vulnerability and that i need to show it. Then patience....learning to be patient...oh well... Edited 23 Nov 10, 11:32 PM by lil_one_anjuli 25 Nov 10, 9:48 PM seresse US(PA), 23 mths Y! slave_snowy wrote: have to say...begging is an art...we cant fake, we have to be genuine, and it is truly beautiful moment. Begging never comes easily to me even if i want to. It is not about pride ...i think. It is about vulnerability and that i need to show it. i really like this. i have thought it was about pride, but when reading what you say, that feels much more like it. Thank you. And about patience - someone once said that it isn't about waiting. It is about being present in the moment. That has helped me with it, and i have struggled with it. Hope you are having a great Thanksgiving. seresse