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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Honor and M/s" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Honor and M/s (89) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 28 Nov 10, 5:47 AM rhuafox CA, 19 mths Lord_Uther wrote: This isn't some exclusive club where you have to have the right school tie to fit in. Can't we just celebrate our uniqueness & individuality and gain strength from that rather than trying to get a 'one definition fits all' [/quote] Thank you Lord Uther for wading in and providing a voice of reason. This girl is grateful for your always thoughtful, intelligent responses. rhua rhuafox 28 Nov 10, 2:52 PM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs Princess, thank you for putting forth an apology. That was very sweet of you. i think we should just start fresh. We got off on the wrong foot. It happens. Again, that was very nice of you. <With this in mind, what advice can be given to people who are in the long process of getting to know a new owner? As the gradual hand over of rights occurs, how can a person tell the difference between a well intentioned responsible Master who is pushing boundaries to help them to grow and the malicious actions of someone grooming them to satisfy their own urges at the expense of the other persons safety and wellbeing.> i don't think i can add much to what Owned said. She summed it up very well. In the beginning, things are always a matter of interpretation. But if you never take the chance to get to know anyone, you never will find what you want i think that is part of it too-to know what you want. There is someone out there "into" anything you may happen to be-strictly Daddy/babygirl , or whatever it may be you enjoy. (which may i add is a nice thing to mix into the swirl of your relationship. It allows the Dominant to be very nurturing and doesn't "give up" the other fun, controlling, kinky stuff necessarily. i am to call my Master Daddy most of the time as a matter of fact. But it's not that He isn't a strict Master He is, He just prefers the term and what it conotates). If you are "looking" for abuse, you will find it in a D/s relationship-after all, the Dominant is taking power and i would imagine that is the core issue in abusive relationships. Do you know what i mean? If you are looking to find it, you will "see" it, even where people are happy. It's like if you hate your mother in law-she may say something sweet but you will find something in it that you feel was nasty-because you are looking for it. There is a path of self discovery in which you have to feel vulnerable and accept that if you enjoy something it isn't abuse-it's OK to enjoy things that other people don't think you should enjoy i met my Master online (collarme of all places), my profile was up one day, i shit you not. i met Him, He came to my house (yes, i know, that's a no-no) and i was on my *ahem* knees in about five minutes. We spent hours sitting on the couch with me in His lap just sitting. And we have been inseparable ever since. i was willing to trust my gut and do these things because it's how i am. i understand most people would say it's bad. But i like being me Thanks again, i hope i said something helpful for you here, 898-443-818 i am a slave-i have no rights, no safewords, i do not say "no" to my Master. i do not have "limits". i have entered into consensual slavery, so that may help explain the views in my post. Please visit my vegan & weightloss blog: www.foodmasochist.blogspot.com Edited 28 Nov 10, 2:53 PM by 898-443-818 30 Nov 10, 5:36 PM PrincessMeg UK, 19 mths Thanks Lord Uther. 898 yes it would be nice to start again I agree with all the advice on getting to know the other person and knowing what you want. I certainly cant think of anything else myself. Deciding what you want can be easier said than done though, it does make me think of the phrase “kid in a sweet shop” With so much on offer it is sometimes hard to know what you want. All this and having to get to know someone as well, when all you want to do is be *ahem* on your knees. (898 hope you don't mind me using your line, I just find it so kinky). I guess the next question is how to be patient during this process but that is definitely something for another thread I think. 16 Dec 10, 11:20 PM 641-341-071 UK, 3 yrs Lord_Uther wrote: Full essay found here: http://www.rlslavery.com/06.php does anyone know if this site is still open for signups? for some reason I can't seem to 17 Dec 10, 5:49 AM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs i have not had any success, and i have also tried to email the site owner without success i really wish i could join. 898 i am a slave-i have no rights, no safewords, i do not say "no" to my Master. i do not have "limits". i have entered into consensual slavery, so that may help explain the views in my post. Please visit my vegan & weightloss blog: www.foodmasochist.blogspot.com 17 Dec 10, 10:26 AM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs Have you tried just recently? MacCain just told me they were having technical problems... Maybe try again next week? Chin up! p 17 Dec 10, 10:33 AM Lord_Uther UK, 6 yrs I've tried a couple of times to join and with no luck. My name is Lord Uther, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! 23 Dec 10, 3:32 AM 641-341-071 UK, 3 yrs I tried earlier in the year, didnt get a reply for ages, then missed the 48 hr window for joining. tried again recently and no reply whatsoever... its a shame as I'd really like to broaden my search. 23 Dec 10, 5:46 PM 511-935-744 US(NM), 17 mths I also was attracted to this lifestyle because it aligns with my personal sense of what is honorable. I've always had an internal...play, I suppose; a sort-of heroic saga. I read a lot as a child, especially books containing a hero or heroine with a clear sense of ethics which governed their behavior. That sense of being always culpable stuck with me, and I was always measuring my behavior and the behavior of others against my inner codes. I often feel as if someone is watching me (I'm not talking about deity.) My friends call me the Judge because I am always weighing and measuring people. I'd think it's really important in this lifestyle, because it does touch the innermost self. My vanilla relationships amused but did not move me (the sex was fucking terrible.) My D/s, and now M/s, relationships work much deeper, and literally move the furniture in my head around. I have been in abusive relationships before, because my need for pain and dominance is such a root need that I cannot deny it, and trying to get enough to keep me functioning well is problematic without direct exposure to both pain and dominance. But I am finding that the more I can accept what I am, the wiser I tend to be in my choices. Yet another reason honor is important in M-types--I'd guess that other people here have needs which are not a matter of 'I would like to do this,' but rather 'I have to have this.' I'm still at learning acceptance and wise decisions. With my history, wisdom requires a lot of personal work on being able to see myself as capable of making those kinds of decisions. I have an unfortunate tendency to have trouble resisting certain kinds of dominance. I've learned. It has not been easy and has resulted in some really, REALLY bad moments. I will keep my honor even if the other person doesn't. But if the other person has no honor, I'm leaving. I may be crawling out, but I'm out of there. I realize that saying so is presumptive, but I cannot have a relationship with someone whom I cannot respect, even if and when they own me. I can't love them, can't serve them and can't respond to them. My bodily responses extinguish. Because they are not worthy. Stolen by The_Thief.