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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "The Fine Line Between M/s and Abuse" 1 2 3 The Fine Line Between M/s and Abuse (26) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 13 Sep 10, 4:55 AM Jondeviant AU, 21 mths Y! The_Vicars_sin wrote: my Master used to be a Health and Safety Officer with the Health and Safety Executive so i know He always thinks deep into the risk element in everything we do, and i know Master would never cross the line on what constitutes abuse BUT is my idea and His the same or anywhere near the same. I'm in health and safety as well. It's something that's at the forefront of my mind (and, no doubt, his) whenever we are engaged in any activity where there is risk. On more than one occasion I have called off play where I felt that the risk and apparent danger was becoming too great and that there was possibility of harm occurring. I think that is the key word; harm. The causing of harm in a psychological sense rather than the physical is the key indicator of abuse. We are used to, and for some, crave the physical abuse. Where the physical harm causes psychological harm it becomes abuse. 13 Sep 10, 2:20 PM Adela_Rosa US(VA), 21 mths Having been abused with M/s as a cover it is not that the games are rougher or the difference between 20 lashes or 30 , the difference is the emotions behind it and the harm caused. I am a painslut which makes it all the more tricky to draw the line for some people. The mental place that abuse takes anyone to is the easiest way to tell it has happened. I have a safeword, so does Master Dante. He has used it because He was afraid I was slipping back into the can't say no must be doormat mode that accompanies a flashback for me. So yes there is a fine line but having been through one and living the other they are as different as different comes. 13 Sep 10, 4:57 PM Dagobert US(WA), 21 mths Adela_Rosa wrote: Having been abused with M/s as a cover it is not that the games are rougher or the difference between 20 lashes or 30 , the difference is the emotions behind it and the harm caused. I concur wholeheartedly. I am aware that my cunt had some borderline, if not outright, abuse (non M/s related as cunt is a slave for the very first time) in her life and am always cognizant of that. We have never fully discussed it, and nor do I feel the need to know everything. However, I do watch her very carefully, always pushing the limits I know, as her Master, that she has... but NEVER exceeding them. On another note... last night I sodomized cunt; something that she has a mental block about and was in fact an anal virgin until quite recently. As I thrust inside of her,with her in obvious pain (not life-ending pain, mind you, but definite discomfort), and calling her by her name (cunt) it did strike me yet again that if my attitude were to change just the slightest bit that the act could be considered abuse, if not rape. As I said earlier in this thread I am always aware of that line and perhaps it holds me back a bit in certain acts. For me that holding back is okay as emotionally or physically damaging my cunt is just not in my nature... whereas exposing her to discomfort and extending her boundaries is. As the thread title says... there is always that very fine line. 13 Sep 10, 4:58 PM Dagobert US(WA), 21 mths Jondeviant wrote: Where the physical harm causes psychological harm it becomes abuse. Very well said! I am taking that as my own internal mantra. Thank you. 13 Sep 10, 5:51 PM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs <It's something that's at the forefront of my mind> This is interesting, Master and i, we never think about it or have discussed it. i have entered into this relationship willingly and He will do as He wishes of me. i really have no right to label anything abuse in our relationship. That being said, we have been together five years. We are married, so this is a committed relationship-however Master will think nothing of smacking me in the face i suppose it is best explained as someone said, in the emotion behind it. i always have a hard time explaining my relationship and ideas when this topic pops up. Where i can see where people are coming from, abuse or that word really has NO use in our life. Maybe an outsider would call it abuse, but they would be wrong. Master can't abuse someone who has given herself to Him completely. Perhaps this ties into the "how big is your no limits" thread only because i wonder, where would we define limit pushing vs. abuse (for those of you who use that term)? 898-443-818 i am a slave-i have no rights, no safewords, i do not say "no" to my Master. i do not have "limits". i have entered into consensual slavery, so that may help explain the views in my post. 13 Sep 10, 6:53 PM mia UK, 11 yrs For me, it's quite simple... We both sought out people who would consent to the sort of relationship we are in. Neither of us coerced the other into getting into something we didn't understand. In addition, i have an overall happiness that i find difficult to quantify. There are times when physical restrictions or pain, or emotional or verbal sadism smarts, but i come out the other end happy. For others, the line might be more blurred, but i'm satisfied i'm not in an abusive relationship for those reasons. m, x 13 Sep 10, 11:26 PM Jondeviant AU, 21 mths Y! Dagobert wrote: Jondeviant wrote: Where the physical harm causes psychological harm it becomes abuse. Very well said! I am taking that as my own internal mantra. Thank you. Thanks. Glad I can help. I think it's an important thing for anyone in our position to remember. 14 Sep 10, 12:21 AM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs Abuse will be defined by the person on the receiving end... so regardless of how careful a Master may be regarding pushing limits of a slave, whether the slave has been abused in the past or not, it will be the slave who determines if they are being abused. So, a Master being careful is a good thing, but is no guarantee that they are immune from crossing the line of abuse. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair 14 Sep 10, 6:52 PM Sir_A_Griff CA, 3 yrs Jondeviant wrote: Dagobert wrote: Jondeviant wrote: Where the physical harm causes psychological harm it becomes abuse. Very well said! I am taking that as my own internal mantra. Thank you. Thanks. Glad I can help. I think it's an important thing for anyone in our position to remember. I agree. In abuse, the fears that a person has are used by the abuser as a way to reinforce his power. In my bdsm personal experience, I tried to know Nef's fears and to alleviate them by discussion and by act so that I wouldn't use for example face slapping which I wouldn't anyway because that would have put Us in a bad mode. Griff 14 Sep 10, 7:26 PM Dagobert US(WA), 21 mths The_Vicars_sin wrote: Masters are funny creatures you know, They need us just as much as we need Them. Of that there is absolutely no doubt! Being an owner is hard work, but so is being the submissive/slave. If both parties weren't working hard TOGETHER it would never work. Next page