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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Asking and Telling" 1 2 Asking and Telling (18) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Wed 1 Sep 10, 10:22 PM mia UK, 10 yrs Hello. This thread is purely for interest; i'm not seeking any advice here I wondered how you asked or told your D-type to do something that you know needs doing, but they've yet to do or haven't thought about doing. For example, if they're ill, how do you tell them to go to the doctors if they're just putting on a brave face? Or if there is a job in the house you're unable to do that needs doing, how do you go about asking/telling them to do it? How do they respond to you normally? D-types, do you have problems with this? How do you accept instruction/advice/etc? Do you have set ways your s-types must approach you about this sort of thing? As for me, i often just say what i think and if he doesn't listen then i either present all possible reasons why i'm right. If he still doesn't listen i tend to make jokes about it, which probably actually sound a lot like nagging. Sometimes goes down well, but understandably, doesn't always m, x 1 Sep 10, 10:46 PM thegildedlili 3 yrs I have to say that in my experience this doesn't differ much in D/s or non D/s type relationships, no matter what I do it just about always comes across as nagging after a while! Probably the main difference for me is that in a D/s relationship I would "suggest" as oppose to "tell" and word my suggestion in as respectful a manner as possible, but when I have to say it over and over before he listens (if he listens), it's inevitable that I'm going to end up sounding like a great harpy at some point! I have discussed it with various d types (including those I've been involved with) and none of them have expressed a problem with having suggestions made, but they have pointed out that at the end of the day it's their perogative to act on those suggestions or not, and it's up to me to deal with their lack of inaction if they choose not to. The words "suck it up buttercup" come to mind, I think I've been told to do that one or two [hundred] times, unlike in a non D/s relationship where I'd just keep going until whatever it did got done! i have no need, for such things, but to make you happy... Josh Pyke Edited 1 Sep 10, 10:59 PM by thegildedlili 1 Sep 10, 10:49 PM Sir_Crest FR, 17 mths For me it very much depends on the way mine is telling me things. I greatly appreciate her advise but thats not more than that. Just an advise. If something needs to be done in the house that she can't do like repairs or because it requires a certain strength I expect to be told what needs fixing as soon as possible. Should she start giving orders to me I make clear what her position is to me. Just a short answer at this point because it late and I need some sleep. 1 Sep 10, 11:57 PM 124-498-094 US, 17 mths I have a slightly different dynamic with Master. I don't know if this is what you're asking, but you made mention of medical issues. Master has a rare genetic disorder that lands him in the hospital frequently. I often have to advise him to sit down when he is wobbly (he often falls), or go to the ER when his pain levels are getting out of control or to take his medications BEFORE certain symptoms become too severe. He often does not want to do any of these things. But the way we view it, as his slave, one of my primary duties is to care for him medically and to assist in any and all medical events. I have literally carried Master on my back, snapped joints back into place, cleaned pints of blood, advocated for him at his side at hospitals. There are times when a second set of eyes sees symptoms a patient cannot. I remind him of this respectfully and he listens because I don't abuse this privilege I have, of being able to advise my Master. I personally think if you are going to be in a relationship where you advise your Master on any/certain/all topics it should be discussed how you should do so properly, when, what, and when to take no for an answer... and when not to... like if they're dying. Thank you for posting this topic. Master and I will revisit it in discussion. 2 Sep 10, 2:41 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs If Master is ill, I usually relentlessly beg him to go to the doctor, with an explanation of why it's important to look after his health. He eventually goes, probably because I tend to go on about it and he gets tired of hearing me. Mind you, a lot of the time it's me who gets sick and Master bundles me into the car right away to get me to the doctor. If I have a cold, it makes my asthma act up and I tend to get bronchitis. If he doesn't take me sooner, then later, he has it. As far as things that need doing that I am unable to do, Master is pretty good at making sure they get done or will let me know a timeline. I don't really ask him to do things. I will just state that I noticed such and such is broken or needs attention. If I do try, I will let Master know I tried but couldn't do it. thegildedlili wrote: The words "suck it up buttercup" come to mind, I think I've been told to do that one or two [hundred] times, unlike in a non D/s relationship where I'd just keep going until whatever it did got done! Lol, very familiar words. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away - unknown Edited 2 Sep 10, 2:46 AM by 333-528-841 2 Sep 10, 6:42 AM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs Hmmm... I am bossy and I do not "nag"... my mother nags. I do not... Seriously, I ask and provide input... and I am learning the ways of "Master will you please" and I am finding that years in law enforcement do not go away overnight. So, I expect that I will have a lifetime to perfect my asking technique... and I look forward to every minute of it. I generally do not disagee with Master's decisions as I have usually been provided my opportunity to be bossy... yin and yang. And if I do disagree... then "suck it up" does seem to be what happens. By the way, when I get too bossy... I get "The Look." What is it with Master's and "The Look" anyway... do they have workshops for Master's on perfecting their look technique? With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair Edited 2 Sep 10, 7:30 AM by pet_ka_MJ 2 Sep 10, 9:03 AM 124-498-094 US, 17 mths pet_ka_MJ wrote: By the way, when I get too bossy... I get "The Look." What is it with Master's and "The Look" anyway... do they have workshops for Master's on perfecting their look technique? LOL!!! I dunno! I've been on this site for only like 2 weeks and everybody fears "The Look" like it's the worst thing in the world and that's when I was like, "Oh my goodness. This site is for me." Because it is the worst thing. Well. Not the worst thing, but... Sorry for the topic diversion. 3 Sep 10, 2:25 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs 124-498-094 wrote: pet_ka_MJ wrote: By the way, when I get too bossy... I get "The Look." What is it with Master's and "The Look" anyway... do they have workshops for Master's on perfecting their look technique? LOL!!! I dunno! I've been on this site for only like 2 weeks and everybody fears "The Look" like it's the worst thing in the world and that's when I was like, "Oh my goodness. This site is for me." Because it is the worst thing. Well. Not the worst thing, but... Sorry for the topic diversion. LOL, yes, we all know the "LOOK" I think. Not the worst thing, but sure stops me immediately in my tracks. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away - unknown Edited 3 Sep 10, 2:26 AM by 333-528-841 3 Sep 10, 3:42 AM Master_Rescoldo US(NC), 3 yrs My slave is free to voice a concern. She doesn't harp on things but if it is important to her she will wait a week or so and then ask again. If it ever gets that bothersome I clearly tell her that I have heard what she has said and noted it, but that I will not be doing whatever it is that she has mentioned. Basically, that is case closed. I don't usually have to use the look on her, it's the kids that get the look! 9 Sep 10, 11:32 AM The_Vicars_sin UK, 17 mths i have tried many approaches and found the most effective and enjoyable was/is to wait until Master is sleeping next to me, i whisper in Masters ear what i would like Master to do and start some form of sexual activities such as giving Master a blowjob in order to ensure He is awake and remembers. He gets a fantastic blowjob which we both enjoy and i get the job what needs doing done. So we both win. Owned by The_Kinky_Vicar who is all I want and need. 9 Sep 10, 12:21 PM seresse US(PA), 20 mths Y! i have found a big change from when we were vanilla. i used to be really attached to how and when things got done. (It can still be a struggle for me sometimes, but i am getting better.) Now it is Master's business, so i don't get too upset if He doesn't get to it. i will tell Him that something or other is broken, or is acting up, or needs attention in some way. He is usually very good about taking care of it, but on the occasions He doesn't, i will ask Him if He has a plan for that, reminding Him of its existence. If He deems it not so important, even though it would have driven me crazy before, or it makes my life a little more difficult, i am able to just let it go as Master's deal. All i am responsible for is obeying Him. It is a really great relief from the vanilla dynamic. seresse edited to add: i read through that and it sounds like everything is all peachy now. NOT! It is a work in progress, and there are those times when it is really hard for me to let it go. Sometimes i am able to shift my attitude myself, and sometimes i bring it up to Master with a charge in my voice - and get "the look". Oops. Edited 9 Sep 10, 1:31 PM by seresse Next page