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	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "Site health - topics" 1 2 Site health - topics (18) This post is on the Other Topics web board. 25 Aug 10, 8:47 PM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs Sorry to be so slow in my response - I needed to be able to think it all through. :p mutable wrote: I know that ol can have many bells and whistles attached, and that those involved can feel enough emotional intensity to imply realism, but my opinion is to view this cautiously. I could go on, but I accept those 'living' such, based upon my opinions. I think so, too. (To the emotional intensity) I also think online can be just as complicated. And while I think the method itself is custom made for a compartmentalized experience and most online relationships are that way, I don't think it's realistic to take the position that they're *all* that way. My own evaluation of who belongs in which category (to the extent I can make one) is based on the ideas and questions posted by the individual. One thing I would like is to know someone who is in an OLR - in a personal, RL sort of way. I was introduced to a woman a few weeks ago whom I understand to be in one and I may be seeing her again next week. Who knows? mutable wrote: Yes, which means I shouldn't be here. I think this is what I am trying to understand; are those (as described above) less frequent posters BECAUSE of other 'types' here or, would the site cease if it were not for these others? Well, that's a thing I'm not entirely clear on - when I first joined, the majority of active posters (apparently) interpreted site policy to exclude those in OLR from even offering their opinions in 24/7 threads, and I think this tended to make them feel unwelcome. That trend seems to have passed, which I'm happy for - I don't believe that not currently - or for that matter, ever - having been in a 24/7 cohab automatically says a person has nothing to offer in the discussion. I do know that Lili and I and others have been posting less frequently but at least for me, it isn't that I'm not interested in learning/discussing OLR dynamics. It's (I suppose) that the posts on OLR topics tend to be more of the sharing of personal experience/incidents for its own sake as opposed to actually wanting to explore the dynamics behind those experiences. But it's a true thing that we do have a significantly larger amount of OLR posters and while I don't think the site would cease to exist, it would be mighty quiet without their participation. mutable wrote: I think it must be a case of my 'just not getting it'. Currently, my thinking is that if one is 'owned' (and I mean formal agreement of such), then the s-type is a slave. Now, *some* slaves appear to have very little by way of rules etc., yet *some* subs (perhaps collared) appear to have more. THIS is what I find clumsy about it, although perhaps my understanding is faulty. I think I do understand your meaning, but maybe in a reverse sort of direction. As I said, C and I don't practice many of the things that the majority of those who post here do. No protocol, no "lingo" (for lack of a better word for it - I don't mean it disparagingly), nothing intended to minimize/exaggerate either one's skills, intelligence or significance as a person beyond what's realistic to the given situation/area. (Because those differences between us *do* exist. ) Still, I'm as vulnerable to and dependent upon him in the significant ways - I own no property, am financially non-existent, I have minimal personal mobility, etc. And most of all, I've committed to following his lead for the rest of my life. So, basically speaking, we acknowledge each other as the same people we've been for most of our adult lives, the only difference being that he owns me and therefore is the ultimate authority in my life now - instead of me plotting my own course, so to speak. ANYway... When I first joined TSR these differences between me and "everyone" else did stand out in my mind and I wondered whether I ought to be here too. In fact, if it weren't for C's requirement that I find some daily involvement in the community via my puter I probably wouldn't have stayed. But when Tanos introduced the concept of O&P, I felt that did suit me. And for what it's worth, it would suit the majority of lifestyle couples I know personally as well. So I did stay. pet_ka_MJ wrote: I have noticed a change in the type of postings here as well and the repetativeness of some of the topics. I have tried creating new topics of interest or ones that I was curious about to break up the mundaneness of the current round of posts. And... Personally, unless members are willing to post interesting questions, topics and/or engage in dialogue rather than passively responding to what is already here... I do not see much changing in the near future. It's a true thing. When I first joined I did try to think of topics to create new threads but they generally didn't get much response and I left off, deciding it was due to the differences in our relationship vs "everyone" else's. BUT after reading your post here and thinking on the other topics you've started (which I do enjoy and look forward to ), I've realized that not all of them deal with things we don't do. And even for those things that we don't, your OP is always phrased in a way that invites viewpoints from both sides. Time for me to start thinking again, I think. Eva (The property formerly known as Camille ) 25 Aug 10, 9:41 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs mutable wrote: Bina, Heather and pet... do you feel that 'repetativeness' is to be expected - given that many things have been discussed already - or that it is a symptom of the state of this site in general? Bina thinks that this is just a state of the site. It's not going to change. She thinks that at first, when new to this site and to bdsm, this site is great. It has great advice to offer. But after being here for a while it gets old. Boring. Nothing to spice it up. -Bina Always the curious one ~ His bina 25 Aug 10, 10:36 PM SeanT70 9 yrs curious_bina wrote: mutable wrote: Bina, Heather and pet... do you feel that 'repetativeness' is to be expected - given that many things have been discussed already - or that it is a symptom of the state of this site in general? Bina thinks that this is just a state of the site. It's not going to change. She thinks that at first, when new to this site and to bdsm, this site is great. It has great advice to offer. But after being here for a while it gets old. Boring. Nothing to spice it up. -Bina Hi Bina, At risk of perhaps being accused of picking of you of late, which I'm really not (not that I care either way to be honest, sometimes we feel persecuted by things when they're not intended as such), I read the above-quoted and have this to say about it; Some minor statistics for you at the time of my writing this post, taken from the front page of TSR; Right now, there are 131194 Registration Numbers, 174264 Profiles and 91763 Posts written on TSR. Excluding that first statistic because it can be incorporated largely into the second, if you were to actually spend a couple of hours sifting through say 200 random profiles, some of them can prove to be really quite interesting. Further, from those profiles, we find that the people that they belong to have written an utterly diverse catalogue of posts which can be incorporated into the third statistic. Have you read these posts by these people? Further, have you read all the posts placed on the board since it began? I guess the answer to both questions would be no, and yet you suggest you find the site boring. The simple reason for this is that you're not reading what you want to read about what you want to read. Your posts, questions, answers and motives are themselves being questioned in their validity and this places you further at odds. There really is no need for extra spice because seriously, believe me, some spice matures with age - and the plain fact is, you haven't looked around the site long enough or well enough to figure that out. That is not to say you aren't entitled to your opinion, to ask questions and recieves answers (etc); of course you are, but the continuation of and constant complaint about the state of this site is..well, boring in itself. No-one is making you post here, or reply here for that matter, and to put no finer point on it from what you've talked about, given that it's that boring, I can't see 'why' you post at all. We must remember 'what' exactly this board is for and about (I, amongst others certainly do, I know that), and as I've said to you, you would perhaps find yourself so much better off if you could appreciate the board for what it is, and has, rather than complain about what it doesn't have and can't do. All that has been explained time and again. I feel I must re-iterate that I'm not picking on you, nor feel the need to, but it certainly seems like the conversations you want to get involved in are nothing but whining about things here. Why don't 'you' try to bring something poignant to the board for a change? It could be possible, arguably, that change needs to begin with the very person complaining about the need for it. That, of course doesn't take away from the rest of the discussion in this thread; of course there is perhaps need for change - but the way 'you' discuss it, is not the way to go about getting it. In regard to your question, mutable, of course repetitiveness can be expected on the boards, but this is simply due to people having different takes within their own homes/lives on many-a-subject, not knowing how the site functions work in any case, or using them anyway at all. A previous assertion that older posts or threads should perhaps be deleted from the server, is kinda daft. If for example a post made on 'one' thread is deleted, then that doesn't mean it will be gone; cuts'n'pastes can be taken and it just makes for all the more irrelevant mess than there is in some respects in some places. Yes, that is a mess, but not nearly as messy as the potential of deleting old or nonsensical threads. We have to remember also, that newer members join all the time, and actually spend very little time reading the board before posting anything, so we might end up with yet another.. 'I got me a girl, I got me whip, I'm a master, right?' type of post.. (well, wrong, bucko..) ..and again, the countless, endless stream of well fed salt-eating trolls from Siberia... Meh. Regards, Sean. 26 Aug 10, 3:34 AM seresse US(PA), 23 mths Y! This is a really interesting discussion and i am appreciating the thoughtfulness of everyone participating. i am fairly new to the site, so don't really have much perspective to offer. i have perused through the wiki a bit and really like and relate to the O&P Manifesto. Seems to say it just how i feel it and want it. i have not spent any time reviewing previous posts, which i suppose is 'bad me', but i find a great deal of pleasure in the current conversations. When i first started lurking here, there was one thread started by a slave who simply shared the details of her family gathering and celebration of her collaring, complete with recipes! i just loved that sense of immediate community sharing! i have followed and contributed to threads that were all about helping people in distress, some in real life situations, some in on-line situations, but either way in real distress and in need of real help - and they got it so fully and open-heartedly. Brought tears to my eyes to feel the community rally that way. i have stepped back from some conversations that devolved into a flame war. i laughed my head off following one thread wherein a perfectly civil discussion went on with most participants, and once in a while there would be a flame war posting going on between the op and another person. Hilarious! So maybe i am missing the point of this site, as it seems a lot of people are concerned about it and maybe unhappy with its current state? It may be that i am looking for and expecting something different? i used to set a great deal of store by intellectual discussion and dissection of ideas and ideals and definitions and such. Sometimes it can still be fun for me, as long as it isn't taken too seriously. For me, and i am only speaking for myself, i find just being present with good people sharing themselves so enriching and rewarding. And that seems to be available on this site like no other i have found so far. i appreciate and value everyone here, regardless of their status or opinions, simply for their realness and hearts. - And it kind of saddens me that there seems to be this discontent. i would rather know someone i disagree with and trust to have my back, than to agree with someone who will bale on me in a pinch. And everyone here feels solid and good in that way. To me, it isn't so important if the intellectual pickings are slim right now - that can be fixed. But a good community is hard to come by. i am not sure that i am contributing anything useful to your lovely thread, but just felt like sharing my experience and perspective here. Thanks. seresse 26 Aug 10, 4:39 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs seresse wrote: This is a really interesting discussion and i am appreciating the thoughtfulness of everyone participating. i am fairly new to the site, so don't really have much perspective to offer. i have perused through the wiki a bit and really like and relate to the O&P Manifesto. Seems to say it just how i feel it and want it. i have not spent any time reviewing previous posts, which i suppose is 'bad me', but i find a great deal of pleasure in the current conversations. When i first started lurking here, there was one thread started by a slave who simply shared the details of her family gathering and celebration of her collaring, complete with recipes! i just loved that sense of immediate community sharing! i have followed and contributed to threads that were all about helping people in distress, some in real life situations, some in on-line situations, but either way in real distress and in need of real help - and they got it so fully and open-heartedly. Brought tears to my eyes to feel the community rally that way. i have stepped back from some conversations that devolved into a flame war. i laughed my head off following one thread wherein a perfectly civil discussion went on with most participants, and once in a while there would be a flame war posting going on between the op and another person. Hilarious! So maybe i am missing the point of this site, as it seems a lot of people are concerned about it and maybe unhappy with its current state? It may be that i am looking for and expecting something different? i used to set a great deal of store by intellectual discussion and dissection of ideas and ideals and definitions and such. Sometimes it can still be fun for me, as long as it isn't taken too seriously. For me, and i am only speaking for myself, i find just being present with good people sharing themselves so enriching and rewarding. And that seems to be available on this site like no other i have found so far. i appreciate and value everyone here, regardless of their status or opinions, simply for their realness and hearts. - And it kind of saddens me that there seems to be this discontent. i would rather know someone i disagree with and trust to have my back, than to agree with someone who will bale on me in a pinch. And everyone here feels solid and good in that way. To me, it isn't so important if the intellectual pickings are slim right now - that can be fixed. But a good community is hard to come by. i am not sure that i am contributing anything useful to your lovely thread, but just felt like sharing my experience and perspective here. Thanks. seresse Everything written can be useful to someone. I feel your post was very well written. Food for thought. Thanks 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away - unknown 26 Aug 10, 4:41 AM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs After a long busy day working for Master i haven't read each response, please forgive me. i did want to throw in an idea, when you look at old posts, posts from 2, 3 years ago, there is a whole different feel to this board. Everyone was on the same page (at least in regards to the kind of people and topics they would find on this board), everyone appreciated TSR for the resource it was for us 24/7 folk, somehow we didn't always agree, and yet it was OK, more or less respectful, and everyone seemed OK to not necessarily want everyone else's kink. At least that is my opinion of how the board "Felt". i cannot describe exactly how things are different now, but the ambiance is just different. Again, i apologize for not reading everything over before responding, i'm just exhausted 898-443-818 i am a slave-i have no rights, no safewords, i do not say "no" to my Master. i do not have "limits". i have entered into consensual slavery, so that may help explain the views in my post. 26 Aug 10, 12:56 PM seresse US(PA), 23 mths Y! Fresh this morning a new thought has occurred to me to offer this thread. Things change and evolve. Sometimes it is hard to accept change, since it means letting go of what has been - and if you really liked what was, that can be hard and painful. Perhaps it is simply that this site is evolving and you (i don't include myself because i am too new to know what it used to be like ) are experiencing growing pains? i know i do have trouble sometimes with the way the English (American) language is evolving and changing. When i read books written early in the 1900's the way the language was used is so beautiful and skillful, i lament the changes. It often seems like a degradation, simplification and loss of subtlety and art. But if i let go of that attachment and look at how the language is used today, there are some really great new ways words and slang are used to express what is relevant today, and i really enjoy it. Just my poor attempt to illustrate what i mean about growing pains. seresse 27 Aug 10, 3:48 AM mutable 2 yrs Thanks to those who have posted to this thread. I apologise for not posting sooner. Thank you, Eva, for your response - specifically my 'understanding' of O&P. My relationship with he would likely cause those in a more formal dynamic to question our 'lifestyle' sincerety (as I do also, sometimes) - yet the fact remains that I am his, regardless of our evolution and specifics. Yes, it may look neat to be able to tick the boxes, but I need to stop pondering them so much. seresse wrote: So maybe i am missing the point of this site, as it seems a lot of people are concerned about it and maybe unhappy with its current state? I snipped the rest of your paragraph for ease only, but thank you for this pov. 898-443-818 wrote: i cannot describe exactly how things are different now, but the ambiance is just different. I would agree that the 'ambiance' is different - which is, in part, why I started the thread; to seek opinions. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are' Anais Nin