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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Collars" 1 2 Collars (20) This post is on the O&P web board. 5 Aug 10, 2:45 PM puddles US(OH), 6 yrs Y! People that want online don't bother us at all. We have been rl for 10 years. I wear a locked Turian style stainless steel collar on my neck 24/7. Online has never affected us. We really don't even think about it to be honest. We have a fulfilling rl M/s relationship and that is really all that matters. 7 Aug 10, 3:12 AM Will_Anderegg US(CO), 18 mths Y! puddles wrote: People that want online don't bother us at all. We have been rl for 10 years. I wear a locked Turian style stainless steel collar on my neck 24/7. Online has never affected us. We really don't even think about it to be honest. We have a fulfilling rl M/s relationship and that is really all that matters. I think this is an admirable view in all areas of life, not just BDSM. If you're happy, why care what other people do? To the extent that it doesn't affect your own life, it's none of your damn business. Not that I'm saying discussions (such as this thread) are bad - communication of ideas and feelings never is. But being offended or upset by situations and actions that don't affect your own life is just silly. 7 Aug 10, 10:00 AM Master_IanNZ NZ, 2 yrs pet_ka_MJ wrote: Collars In the age of online BDSM where collars are offered and taken on a whim, is it effecting the way both slave and Master look at a real time relationship? For me, having experienced both online and real time, the online aspect is a means to an end - in that it is a way of getting to know one another, exerting a level of control and the start of a training programme for a slave. Personally I wouldn't collar a potential slave if it were only an online relationship, mainly because for me it would be important that I undertake the collaring (physcially) - something that I just can't do online. So, a collaring would wait until after a slave was with my physically and had demonstrated to my satisfaction that they deserve Master's collar. Therefore, to answer your question - no, I don't believe it affects the way I look at a real time relationship - that is my opinion, others may think differently Good question though! Master Ian 9 Aug 10, 12:53 AM mutable 2 yrs pet_ka_MJ wrote: Fashionable it is becoming... did you see Christina Aguilera's new video "Not Myself Tonight"... seems the fetish side of BDSM has gone mainstream. And this concerns me, as I learned about this video from a bunch of 14 year old girls, who see this stuff and think it is cool but do not understand the ramifications or the lifestyle behind such glamourized images. I haven't seen the video so can't comment specifically. As regards music videos - are they rated in the US in the same way films are? The UK currently has no rating system of music videos, which I feel is a huge problem. Much like the 14 year olds you mention, children even younger are exposed to negative and indecent images they don't have the maturity to fully understand. Will_Anderegg wrote: I think this is an admirable view in all areas of life, not just BDSM. If you're happy, why care what other people do? To the extent that it doesn't affect your own life, it's none of your damn business. Not that I'm saying discussions (such as this thread) are bad - communication of ideas and feelings never is. But being offended or upset by situations and actions that don't affect your own life is just silly. To a certain extent I agree with what you say here. Yes, most have a unique dynamic and are content to live 'their way'. However, because the nature of bdsm (broardly) requires the acquiescence of personal power (in one form or other), it is open to abuse by those who have little understanding. It is THIS that distresses me because people are hurt, plus 'bdsm' is then placed negatively. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are' Anais Nin 4 Sep 10, 8:09 AM 983-993-228 17 mths pet_ka_MJ wrote: Collars In the age of online BDSM where collars are offered and taken on a whim, is it effecting the way both slave and Master look at a real time relationship? i met my Mistress on collarme.com. i taled to Her for awhile, taking less time than most would think is appropriate because of the fact that i am pregnant. i moved into my Owner's home about a month and a half ago. i talked to Her about me collaring me, but She says that i am not ready to make that commitment yet. i just signed my contract with Her about a week ago and was given permission to register here on slaveregister. right now She just wants me to focus on having a healthy baby because She really loves me and the baby. She says training me will come when She thinks it is safe for me to be trained. She will not let me wear a necklace that looks like a collar because She wants me to always take the collar as serious as She does. i think that She is totally right and will not go behind Her back on anything. Of course, since i live with Her, and i cannot lie effectively, getting away with something is impossible. i just thank God everyday and night that i have a Mistress, a Master, and my husband to love me and look over my life, i feel that right now i am a broken toy, but She is willing to work with me if i am willing to work with Her. i feel like the luckiest slave in the world. 5 Sep 10, 10:31 AM chrystal_HMLK US(IL), 4 yrs slave_emma wrote: What people in online relationships do really doesn't affect me and my view of the real-time relationships. I have never entered into an online relationship, because I feel that this sort of relationship can only be built through face-to-face interactions. I do not consider online relationships the same as real-time relationships. Online relationships seem to have a tendency to go towards fetishes and sex rather than building trust, commitment, and communication. Online relationships lack the real-life problems that people in real-time relationships face. For instance, my Master has to take off work to take me to the doctor for a medical procedure. An online master would not be either willing or able to take off to take the slave to the doctor, because their relationship doesn't have the depth of commitment that is found in a real-time relationship. I have noticed a trend with the people in online relationships and that is whenever one of them gets ill. The relationship falls apart. I think the failure rate is higher with online relationships, because the internet is so volatile and people can disappear much easier. There is less accountability for your actions when you are online. I think very few online relationships actually make the transition into real-time. Once the relationship is in real-time, I feel they have as much chance for success or failure as anyone else in a real-time relationship. Best wishes, slave emma I would have to disagree to an extent. You can build this type of relationship online and then move it to offline. If I only did offline, I would never find a Master as I live where there are no Goreans and most of the Free here are BDSM Doms, not interested in much more than sex. My now ex Master hardly ever went to the doctors with me, so that happens in an in person and online relationship. Right now I am in training with a Master that I will be meeting soon and then spending a couple of weeks where he lives in a couple of months, then we will have to wait for me to move until a couple of things happen. But just because someone enters into the relationship online does not make it any less real. kallisto 5 Sep 10, 4:07 PM mia UK, 10 yrs Before meeting my Master, i shied away from collars, having been offered one in the past. I thought relationships like this couldn't be real and didn't exist, except in the minds of fantasists. (I was one of those fantasists btw, i wanted this thing - just couldn't believe it was real). So when i was offered a collar by a previous 'master' (i use this term as he was not really my master, but a decent and dominant guy who was my friend) i turned down his offer. I didn't want something unreal, something unathentic, as i thought it would prove that this was not real; that M/s wasn't possible. Soon after i got together with my Master, in relative terms, he offered me his collar, which i wear permanently on my ankle. I accepted, with immense pride, as i understand what they mean to him and it was like a light going on in my head that it could all be real, it wasn't all a fantasy and i was lucky enough to be with someone who understood the importance of giving a collar, so i knew i could accept, knowing or realising how important wearing someone's collar was to me. I do think collars are given and taken away too readily, both online and irl and i think these people should think about the potential hurt they could cause to the other person if one sees it as more symbolic and important than the other. If both parties are 'playing' at it, or neither see it as an important thing, then that's a bit of a shame, but at least they're not deluding each other and it won't lessen the importance and weight of wearing his collar around my ankle. m, x 7 Sep 10, 1:49 AM 651-098-712 US, 20 mths It would bother me if someone were to assume that because my relationship is long-distance, it's any less real, or my collar is any less real. I spent a number of months getting to know my Master online before we met in real life, and he collared me in person. We're still in a long-distance relationship though, as moving a few thousand miles to be with him is not something I'm going to take lightly, and there are financial issues that make it difficult. In the vanilla world, there are people who get engaged or married to people they don't know well enough for that sort of commitment, and there are also people who role-play online marriages (I know that must sound weird if you've never seen it, but I've seen roleplay marriages in game worlds before). Real relationships, whether they're online or not, whether they're vanilla or not, aren't cheapened by it. 7 Sep 10, 2:41 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs I think we have all read about s types who seem to go from Master to Master and are constantly revelling in the fact they are collared. By my observations, these are the players, they are not usually serious about the lifestyle and some are simply drama queens looking for attention. I usually shake my head and laugh now. Those who care about their dynamics and take them seriously, whether OL, LD or RL, in my opinion, should take the meaning of their collar from their own experiences and in the context of their own relationship. Those around me that know and matter, respect the meaning it has in regards to my life. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away - unknown 7 Sep 10, 2:46 AM bastets_daughter 2 yrs 333-528-841 wrote: I think we have all read about s types who seem to go from Master to Master and are constantly revelling in the fact they are collared. By my observations, these are the players, they are not usually serious about the lifestyle and some are simply drama queens looking for attention. I usually shake my head and laugh now. Those who care about their dynamics and take them seriously, whether OL, LD or RL, in my opinion, should take the meaning of their collar from their own experiences and in the context of their own relationship. Those around me that know and matter, respect the meaning it has in regards to my life. *nods in agreement with 333-528-841*