This page sponsored by Extreme Restraints    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Collars" 1 2 Collars (20) This post is on the O&P web board. Fri 30 Jul 10, 4:30 AM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs In the age of online BDSM where collars are offered and taken on a whim, is it effecting the way both slave and Master look at a real time relationship? With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair 30 Jul 10, 6:36 AM slave_emma US(OK), 5 yrs Y! What people in online relationships do really doesn't affect me and my view of the real-time relationships. I have never entered into an online relationship, because I feel that this sort of relationship can only be built through face-to-face interactions. I do not consider online relationships the same as real-time relationships. Online relationships seem to have a tendency to go towards fetishes and sex rather than building trust, commitment, and communication. Online relationships lack the real-life problems that people in real-time relationships face. For instance, my Master has to take off work to take me to the doctor for a medical procedure. An online master would not be either willing or able to take off to take the slave to the doctor, because their relationship doesn't have the depth of commitment that is found in a real-time relationship. I have noticed a trend with the people in online relationships and that is whenever one of them gets ill. The relationship falls apart. I think the failure rate is higher with online relationships, because the internet is so volatile and people can disappear much easier. There is less accountability for your actions when you are online. I think very few online relationships actually make the transition into real-time. Once the relationship is in real-time, I feel they have as much chance for success or failure as anyone else in a real-time relationship. Best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 30 Jul 10, 6:47 AM 898-443-818 US, 4 yrs <What people in online relationships do really doesn't affect me and my view of the real-time relationships. I have never entered into an online relationship, because I feel that this sort of relationship can only be built through face-to-face interactions. I do not consider online relationships the same as real-time relationships. > i agree with this wholeheartedly. 898-443-818 i am a slave-i have no rights, no safewords, i do not say "no" to my Master. i do not have "limits". i have entered into consensual slavery, so that may help explain the views in my post. 30 Jul 10, 10:00 AM SirStrict43 UK, 6 yrs slave_emma wrote: What people in online relationships do really doesn't affect me and my view of the real-time relationships. I have never entered into an online relationship, because I feel that this sort of relationship can only be built through face-to-face interactions. I do not consider online relationships the same as real-time relationships. There is one other factor to be considered. Online BDSM does not constitute a Master/slave relationship and thus the concept of the collar is in a totally different sense. An online 'Under consideration' relationship as a pre-cursor to building enough trust for the initial meet is yet another situation I see no problem with. SS 30 Jul 10, 10:21 AM Karissa_Ariel IE, 2 yrs slave_emma wrote: What people in online relationships do really doesn't affect me and my view of the real-time relationships. I have never entered into an online relationship, because I feel that this sort of relationship can only be built through face-to-face interactions. I do not consider online relationships the same as real-time relationships. I did start my current relationship online, getting to trust Sir after having been in an abusive relationship. Yes, for now I only wear an online "Collar of "consideration" and it certainly did help that it was online in the beginning, and I am looking forward to be finally collared by Master with His own hands soon. You cannot see all online relationships as not real or questionable as sometimes the location issue in the beginning should not be the reason for not at least trying. I did - and I am happier than ever now with Sir. 30 Jul 10, 10:27 AM XMistressMacabreX US, 18 mths well it depends , many people online do it as " RP " which I hate with a passion . Some people do it as more of a real thing though we cant see each other . It all depends, I have never found my knowledge of online BDSM relationships to effect My real relationship it just depends on the person I suppose . 30 Jul 10, 2:52 PM 281-314-060 US(MN), 19 mths I first met Master online, and it took over a year of chatting back and forth before we met in the flesh. However, there was no mention of a collar of any sort before we were face-to-face - in fact, Master didn't mention it until about the 3rd time we met, and I didn't bring it up at all. (Blame that on my karate background; the fastest way to ensure you don't get tested for next belt is to bug Sensei about it.) Master currently has me Under Consideration for a collar. I've told him that I don't really need a collar around my neck; I already wear one deeper inside. 30 Jul 10, 5:47 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs pet_ka_MJ wrote: Collars In the age of online BDSM where collars are offered and taken on a whim, is it effecting the way both slave and Master look at a real time relationship? This slave had been in a long-distance relationship with her Master for about 7 months before we were together in real life. She didn't receive a collar from him, and he didn't ask her to use a necklace as a collar. She doesn't think badly of slaves who can only be a slave through the internet. It gives them a sense of fulfillment and maybe real time isn't possible for whatever reason(s). If it were possible and they shifted to real time, she doesn't think that it would be breaking a fantasy. It would be more of living it. That's how it was for this slave. Except that M/s can become real, and it isn't fake. It's a real relationship, a real dynamic, with a real other person that can be practiced 24/7/365. She thinks maybe for slaves who did the online relationship, without intent of ever being with a Master in the future, and who were only kinky in the bedroom - to be immersed into real time 24/7 might break that sort of slave. It wouldn't be a fantasy any more but a real life dynamic. Slavery isn't for the faint hearted. This slave can understand why sometimes it's assumed those who are online or long distance are just players or fakers, but for some it is real. And what slaves learn about their Masters and what will be expected -will- be put into place when they're finally together. It's training across a distance. At least in this way slaves will learn what will be expected and won't make as many mistakes. -Bina Always the curious one ~ His bina 31 Jul 10, 2:54 AM Will_Anderegg US(CO), 18 mths Y! Having tried both the online and real-time D/s relationships, for me there's no comparison. Real-time is deeper and more fulfilling by it's very nature. I met my wife online, and we dabbled in some D/s play, but it wasn't until I was living with her and later married her that we truly began to explore and understand all that's involved. There are reasons for online relationships and play, but I believe they are best used as learning tools for those who are beginning their journey into D/s. 4 Aug 10, 10:17 AM mutable 2 yrs pet_ka_MJ wrote: Collars In the age of online BDSM where collars are offered and taken on a whim, is it effecting the way both slave and Master look at a real time relationship? Not for us. However, I am only collared when we 'play'. He sees little need for labels or the usual 'frippery' - "what is, is". I'm working on him though and have mentioned something with diamonds lol. From an outside perspective, my opinion is that BDSM is currently fashionable. Not the 'really real' kind, but the kinky, fetish, selfish kind. I think many of us have come across those who haven't the first clue of what being Master or slave mean - and I find it a little distressing, as they spread misinformation. Yes, we all have different dynamics, but those who live it for real usually have a commonality - even if it's just a pragmatism about the lifestyle. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are' Anais Nin 4 Aug 10, 1:29 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs mutable wrote: From an outside perspective, my opinion is that BDSM is currently fashionable. Not the 'really real' kind, but the kinky, fetish, selfish kind. Fashionable it is becoming... did you see Christina Aguilera's new video "Not Myself Tonight"... seems the fetish side of BDSM has gone mainstream. And this concerns me, as I learned about this video from a bunch of 14 year old girls, who see this stuff and think it is cool but do not understand the ramifications or the lifestyle behind such glamourized images. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair Next page