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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "A new subbie's fear." 1 2 A new subbie's fear. (14) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 29 Jul 10, 10:59 PM mutable 2 yrs Possibly the best advice I can give is to keep it real. Yes, we all have fantasies - but until one is sure they have the right person to fulfill them with, it's best to keep one foot on the ground. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are' Anais Nin 31 Jul 10, 3:39 AM 562-400-727 SE, 22 mths So far I don't think I have found what I'm searching for, nor completely know what I'm searching for. I'm not the type to read one mail and go all like "THIS one! I'm gonna take this one!" over it, you know? Like a friend of mine said once: "How do I like them? WTF, they are not like eggs." And Dominants...well...you are not like eggs. It is not simply to put in an order and you get what you wanted..it is more like a recepie in a language you don't know, and I'm trying to find out the ingredients yet. I am still so uncertain over myself, that sometimes people that DO know what they are talking about is scarry too...because anything I say can be corrected since most of it most likely is wrong or simply based more on fantasies. So where does that leave me? Confused? Hell yes. Eager? Somewhat. Feeling a bit lost? Every day man, every day. But you never know...sometimes you find more places when you get lost, compared to when you know exactly wich way you have to take to get where you wanna go. So for now, I am happy with being lost, because that will teach me more, then if I had all the answers. This was actually part of an answer I sent to an Dom in a mail, but it was so nice, and true, I just had to put it in here as well. And I have to quote something else that befitted me a few years before this, later I got a little more carfull: "You're not a bottom looking for a top. You're a suicide looking for a weapon." That is not me anymore, just so everyone know. 1 Aug 10, 5:36 PM caoihme US(TN), 4 yrs In anything new in life, fear is to be expected. Fear is the unknown, but only by facing our fears do W/we grow and find the wonderful and exciting suprises in life. No submissive, slave, or pet truly knows or understands the D/s or M/s relationship until they have tried it. The first thing is to know yourself, love yourself, and be true to yourself. The rest will fall in place with time and experience. Just remember that you must love yourself if you are ever to become your greatest potential at whatever it is you choose out of life. Not sure if this sound simple or hard but it is always the truth. i am in life service to MeluthTur who is soley responible for me and my actions on this site. Some posts may be edited and corrected by Master according to His will. i am His burden, i am His joy. caoimhe Edited 1 Aug 10, 6:17 PM by caoihme 4 Aug 10, 6:49 AM mutable 2 yrs I really like what you said, here... 562-400-727 wrote: But you never know...sometimes you find more places when you get lost, compared to when you know exactly wich way you have to take to get where you wanna go. So for now, I am happy with being lost, because that will teach me more, then if I had all the answers. I can relate, absolutely. However, there will likely come a time when 'being lost' or wondering if the 'grass is greener' loses it's shine somewhat. At some point we have to stand up and be counted, recognise what is before us and accept a more controlled direction (regardless of orientation). I know it's not easy. How do you know 'this is it'? Well, initially, I would say there should be no alarm bells. Beyond that, it is trial and error. Yes, it may not be your fantasy, but it's real - which is what living life is about. I hope you enjoy and learn from being 'lost', I know it can be revealing. However, I also hope you wish to be 'found', because that is when the journey starts, for real. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are' Anais Nin