Open Air Bondage - the best outdoor BDSM shoots    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Through A Masters Eyes" 1 2 Through A Masters Eyes (13) This post is on the O&P web board. Wed 28 Jul 10, 7:05 PM 725-955-453 US(TN), 2 yrs On her knees she kneels befor my feet, Her long brown hair straight as can be, Head lowerd, Delicate hands claspd together, Oh what a sight to see, She spoke no words, Not a movement was made, For tonight had disobeied, Acussing me her Master of such a thing, Those words she spoke made me ashamed to call her my slave, I sit there in discust poundering her fait, To my left ummm my leather belt lays, To my right handcuffs and a thick wooden padel, I speak these words, What my slave would be the right choice to make, Her eyes filled with tears voice crackiling as I hear, Daddy it was a mistake but I will take whatever it takes, I grab the belt making it pop, I could tell she was afraid, Placing it around her throat she begins to shake, At that moment the doorbell rang, Sit there not a move I say, Forgottenly we have guest tonight, I let them in to the livingroom and excused myself, Easing to where she knelt watching for a moment, Not one move had she made, I instruted her to raise her head you have a punishment, Yes Daddy whatever it takes, Declothed yourself right here right now, In 5 minutes time come to me aproapriatly for our guest, In the living room I await explaing what was taking place, No one moved they stayed, At that moment all eyes went astray, I stood up and let her come my way, STOP RIGHT THERE TELL THEM WHY YOUR GREATING THEM THIS WAY, She explaind, Come here, Yes Daddy is all was said, I bent her over the chair at our guestes heads, POPPPPPPP,POOOPPPPPPPPPPP,POPPPPPPPP,POPPPPPPPPP, The sound of my belt left in the air, I did this until she fell, GET UP, have you learned your leason, Yes Daddy, Now go clean up get into some cloths come join us, I kissed her lips and she left the room. 28 Jul 10, 7:25 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs Sounds harsh. This slave liked the poetic style of the story, but not the story itself. Just seemed too harsh. -Bina Always the curious one ~ His bina 28 Jul 10, 8:12 PM Sir_Aldric 5 yrs What can I say.. I don't consider this to be poetic, nor written in a poetic style. As a story it is messy and unbelievable. Not a logical way a Master would act, sounds more like an unrealistic fantasy. So personally I'm not impressed. As always to my personal opinion, Sir Aldric Relax, life is too short to get upset. 28 Jul 10, 11:00 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs If you have an interest in writing fantasy stories, you might try a blog or one of the websites geared toward this type of thing. Literitica.com springs to mind. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair 29 Jul 10, 1:41 AM Will_Anderegg US(CO), 22 mths Y! The single most effective thing you can do to improve your story, if that's what this is supposed to be, is to use spellcheck. 29 Jul 10, 8:55 AM Lord_Uther UK, 6 yrs My computer has spellcheck on everything I type so after reading Will_Anderegg's post I decided to 'reply with quote' so it would go through my spellcheck so I could quote how many errors there were. As we know the 'post' box displays things differently and I noticed it read a lot better like this. 725-955-453 wrote: Through A Masters Eyes On her knees she kneels befor my feet, Her long brown hair straight as can be, Head lowerd, Delicate hands claspd together, Oh what a sight to see, She spoke no words, Not a movement was made, For tonight had disobeied, Acussing me her Master of such a thing, Those words she spoke made me ashamed to call her my slave, I sit there in discust poundering her fait, To my left ummm my leather belt lays, To my right handcuffs and a thick wooden padel, I speak these words, What my slave would be the right choice to make, Her eyes filled with tears voice crackiling as I hear, Daddy it was a mistake but I will take whatever it takes, I grab the belt making it pop, I could tell she was afraid, Placing it around her throat she begins to shake, At that moment the doorbell rang, Sit there not a move I say, Forgottenly we have guest tonight, I let them in to the livingroom and excused myself, Easing to where she knelt watching for a moment, Not one move had she made, I instruted her to raise her head you have a punishment, Yes Daddy whatever it takes, Declothed yourself right here right now, In 5 minutes time come to me aproapriatly for our guest, In the living room I await explaing what was taking place, No one moved they stayed, At that moment all eyes went astray, I stood up and let her come my way, STOP RIGHT THERE TELL THEM WHY YOUR GREATING THEM THIS WAY, She explaind, Come here, Yes Daddy is all was said, I bent her over the chair at our guestes heads, POPPPPPPP,POOOPPPPPPPPPPP,POPPPPPPPP,POPPPPPPPPP, The sound of my belt left in the air, I did this until she fell, GET UP, have you learned your leason, Yes Daddy, Now go clean up get into some cloths come join us, I kissed her lips and she left the room. But you really do need to learn the proper use of past present & future tenses and english grammar, spelling and punctuation. Other than that once I realised how it was supposed to be read I quite enjoyed it. Not a bad effort. My name is Lord Uther, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Edited 29 Jul 10, 8:56 AM by Lord_Uther 29 Jul 10, 4:13 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs Lord_Uther wrote: My computer has spellcheck on everything I type so after reading Will_Anderegg's post I decided to 'reply with quote' so it would go through my spellcheck so I could quote how many errors there were. As we know the 'post' box displays things differently and I noticed it read a lot better like this. .... But you really do need to learn the proper use of past present & future tenses and english grammar, spelling and punctuation. Other than that once I realised how it was supposed to be read I quite enjoyed it. Not a bad effort. Wow, and this slave thought she was bad with the grammar/spelling chastising. She doesn't really think there's a need to go correcting people unless they ask for it. It might just fall on deaf ears. She always thinks the person might be a one-time poster if they haven't responded, so why spend time correcting it? To the post ~ This slave doesn't think the story content was bad. She realizes some people are into the humiliation, harsher punishment, hardcore stuff . . . But she isn't. That's why she didn't like it. So she didn't think she could judge it properly because of her opinion. Fantasy wise, it sounds like a good fantasy (if you're into that). -Bina Always the curious one ~ His bina 29 Jul 10, 5:01 PM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs i really didn't think it was hardcore or harsh. 898-443-818 i am a slave-i have no rights, no safewords, i do not say "no" to my Master. i do not have "limits". i have entered into consensual slavery, so that may help explain the views in my post. 29 Jul 10, 8:29 PM Glinda UK, 2 yrs For various reasons not everyone receives the education they are entitled to or deserve. Also, English is not the first language of many people, so I think it's a bit cruel and unnecessary to ridicule someone because their standard of literacy is not what it should be. 30 Jul 10, 1:22 AM Will_Anderegg US(CO), 22 mths Y! Glinda wrote: For various reasons not everyone receives the education they are entitled to or deserve. Also, English is not the first language of many people, so I think it's a bit cruel and unnecessary to ridicule someone because their standard of literacy is not what it should be. While I'll admit that some aspects of the English language, including the strange ways in which our words change when using different tenses, can be difficult, poor communication is never excusable. The greatest story ever conceived is nothing if told poorly, and proper spelling is the simplest of ways to communicate clearly. If you're going to speak English, or post on an English-language forum, first learn to speak or write it properly. In response to kahlan, I believe that both posts suggesting changes were done for the purpose of improving both the work in question and any future works by that author. Edited 30 Jul 10, 1:24 AM by Will_Anderegg 30 Jul 10, 8:17 AM Lord_Uther UK, 6 yrs If someone is going to publish something as an art then they must expect it to be critiqued. That is part of an artists life. To be frank we are not at school now and to be honest my English teacher would've torn ten tonnes of crap out of me for writing something that badly. Looking at the state of the English language as used by the kids today then I say bring those days back. Nobody has said anything malicious or nasty but they have proffered their opinions. The OP has not stated their intent for posting which means no-one know the direction the OP wanted this to go... My name is Lord Uther, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Next page