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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Lost my Daddy! Help me....." Lost my Daddy! Help me..... (9) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Tue 27 Jul 10, 3:33 AM AmaraKitten 2 yrs So it didn't stop being Master's property or kitten but Master said that him being it's Daddy didn't feel right and he stopped being my Daddy Dom. It doesn't know what to do. It needs a Daddy figure and it doesn't have anyone else in mind to fill t he role. It was a Daddy's girl at heart to him and it is absolutely devastated and needs some advice on how to cope and possibly find another person that can fill that place. Thank you in advance. *When you're a slave you not only take on a different perspective in life but also on purely even being human. 27 Jul 10, 8:08 AM Sir_Aldric 4 yrs I'm sorry to hear this happened to both of you. The best way do deal with something like this is talking with others who will understand your situation. Talking (or communication in general) has a high therapeutically value. This happened before many times at TSR; usually some slaves step in and offer to talk with you which I would advise you to do. Since you can't do without a Daddy figure in your life, I guess that message came trough clearly as well, so I have no doubt that the Daddy's here will contact you too. In case the Daddy's missed it: pay attention please, jeez.. Be well, Sir Aldric ..Edited because there was too much wisdom to handle.. Relax, life is too short to get upset. Edited 27 Jul 10, 12:22 PM by Sir_Aldric 27 Jul 10, 4:03 PM naughtyslave US, 2 yrs Sorry to hear about your Daddy. i know its very hard. Try to remember to be careful.i know you dont want to be alone, but it can be scary out here. There are alot that like to prey on you when you are unprotected.Maybe you should think about a Mentor that can help guide you. you wont feel as lonely and He can help you with choosing another Daddy. Take care, naughty 27 Jul 10, 5:24 PM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs I am a bit confused. Nothing unusual before the required amount of coffee, but nontheless, confused. I could have read this wrong, so let me know if another pot is in order. You say that you didn't stop being your Masters property or kitten but you are looking for another Daddy Dom? It's just that your Master feels uncomfortable with the "Daddy" title? So, have you finished this relationship or does your Master expect that things will go on as before but without the reference of Daddy? If still in this relationship, is your Master aware that you are looking for someone else? Is this a long term relationship and are you 24/7, do you see each other occasionally or on a daily basis? Has the Daddy/daughter element been the main focus of the dynamic or is it just part of it with you enjoying a "Daddy" figure to look up to? When your Master told you this, did you honestly tell him how you feel? Did your Master honestly tell you why he feels uncomfortable with this? Did you both sit together and really discuss where the dynamic would go from here? Might be something you want to do as I'm sure that there is more to the relationship than the Daddy angle on your part. It could be possible that your Master doesn't feel comfortable with the "Daddy" moniker because of his upbringing or internal wiring. It obviously seems unappropriate to him, to the point that he wants to distance himself from it. Although my dynamic is quite different, I look up to my Master as if he is on a pedestal. Not in the way of him being all knowing and perfect, (shhh, don't tell him I said that ) but in the way that I look to him for guidance, decisions, strength, direction. He is my world. Looking on a parallel plain, would that not be similar to how you would look at a daddy? Is it possible for the dynamic to carry on the way it has but without the "title" of Daddy? Would your Master think about doing the daddy/daughter during "role" play when scening so you can get what you need? Is there a way you can both work through this? I guess it really comes down to the bond the two of you have together, how strong the dynamic is, how you define your submission (it doesn't always go the way us s types want ) and whether you feel it is worth working on your relationship. If having a Daddy is the only reason to be in this dynamic, then you probably should explain this to your Master and move on. Just some food for thought. All the best to you both. Edited: to fix spelling errors missed. Bound to be more there. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away - unknown Edited 27 Jul 10, 5:26 PM by 333-528-841 27 Jul 10, 9:05 PM AmaraKitten 2 yrs Sir Aldric: Thank you for being helpful. Also It is not ready to move on just yet. It needs healing time first. Also there is an update: Master and it broke off all types of our relationship. We're going to try to remain friends but he is no longer my owner or anything other than a friend. Still, It is not ready at all to move on and is very hurt and just needs time to heal and support from others. 333: He is no longer anything to me but a friend and that might not even work out to well. Our relationship was crumbling and It decided it needed to be ended and Master agreed but even though we're not together he's still watching out for my safety trying to help make sure I don't pick anyone who will just use or hurt me.. [Edited to add more information] *When you're a slave you not only take on a different perspective in life but also on purely even being human. Edited 27 Jul 10, 9:08 PM by AmaraKitten 27 Jul 10, 9:35 PM Sprite US(OH), 2 yrs UncollaredProperty, This girl is so sorry to hear what is going on, she wishes you the best and thinks in time you will find someone who is ready to accept you for who you are and what you need. if you ever need to chat this girl is here and is always listening. -hugs- -Master's pet Always- 27 Jul 10, 11:48 PM seresse US(PA), 20 mths Y! i am very sorry to hear about your pain and loss, too. i know it can seem overwhelming right now, but you are wise to seek support and know that you will heal in time. It seems like one just needs time to cry and hurt for awhile before moving on. Allow yourself that time to heal. my heart goes out to you. Sprite is right that you will find someone who will accept you and care for you when the time is right, so trust in that. Hang in there, kitten. seresse 28 Jul 10, 2:32 AM Lord_Uther UK, 6 yrs I know what it is to loose someone you love like this. You need to stay strong and one day you will look back and look at the Daddy that owns you & think it was the best thing that could've happened. At first it will feel like you are betraying your old Daddy and letting go of that love will be one of the hardest things you will do, but do it you must. Your Daddy is out there but you must look after yourself and make yourself the best baby girl you can be to be ready for him. Big hugs xxx My name is Lord Uther, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! 29 Jul 10, 5:24 PM TheConstantGardener US(MD), 22 mths Honestly if I'm getting it right at the very basics of it. Daddy said he still wanted a relationship but didn't want to be your Daddy anymore. You tried to cope but decided the relationship was crumbling and decided to end it. And he agreed but is still there for you as a friend. That is what I'm going on as an assumption but if I'm wrong on anything there feel free to correct me. But there are a couple of reasons I think he made that decision that I could fathom from your reaction to the matter. To me, a slave should be obedient NOT dependent. To want something really bad with all your heart and soul is one thing. To NEED something to the point where you can function without it is not healthy. I mean every 'Daddy' wants to see their little girl grow up and progress as a person. And if you having a Daddy in your life was getting in the way of your progressing as a person and it was more a crutch. I'd say the same thing. Something about a person is not complete if they need something like that so badly. And anyone who loves you would want you to be a complete and well balanced person as you can be. So him being your 'Daddy' was just him enabling you to hinder your own personal grown and give you a reason not to face the things you need to in your life. That is my first theory on the matter. My second is from personal experience. It could simply be that he became an 'object' to you. He wasn't a person. He was Daddy. Maybe unintentionally but you might have separated the two. Only accepting him as Daddy and rejecting the rest of him. I mean it comes off that way. I mean, if he still wanted a relationship but didn't want to be your Daddy and you broke it off. Its pretty clear that you having a Daddy was more important to you than having him in your life. Otherwise you'd be with him no matter what he preferred to be called. Really its the same thing when a man is only interested in a woman because of sex. He's only interested in how she treats him and how she makes him feel. And its the same for only being interested in a person because they are a Dom. You're only interested in how they treat you and make you feel. And not forming a real relationship with that person but just the 'Daddy' part of them. And really if that is the case then the next man is just going to be another 'Daddy' not a person you accept into your heart and into your life but a person you accept into your life simply to play a role. And that might be fine for you and maybe even for the next man you call Daddy. But its really kind of shallow in my opinion. And I think a real 'Daddy' would want you to want more for yourself than that. 29 Jul 10, 8:57 PM valhalla 19 mths Cherisher wrote: To me, a slave should be obedient NOT dependent. To want something really bad with all your heart and soul is one thing. To NEED something to the point where you can function without it is not healthy. I mean every 'Daddy' wants to see their little girl grow up and progress as a person. Right,,,to "You". The girl is not in a relationship with you. And I seriously doubt you can know what "every" Daddy wants for their "lil girl". You are projecting your beliefs onto every other man who claims the title of Daddy in this way of life.And to your point about needing something so badly you can't live without it, and it being unhealthy. That's absurd. Humans need love, Humans who do not get affection and love in the way in which they need it, suffer and do not thrive. They merely exist experiencing only shadows of a full life. Cherisher wrote: And if you having a Daddy in your life was getting in the way of your progressing as a person and it was more a crutch. I'd say the same thing. Something about a person is not complete if they need something like that so badly. And anyone who loves you would want you to be a complete and well balanced person as you can be. So him being your 'Daddy' was just him enabling you to hinder your own personal grown and give you a reason not to face the things you need to in your life. Do you suppose this judgment of yours is true for every Daddy Dom/Master out there? Are all the Daddy Doms/Masters only enabling their subs/slaves? You have no clue as to what she is or is not facing in her life. You have judged her as being incompetent and avoiding facing the reality of what life she is living. Cherisher wrote: It could simply be that he became an 'object' to you. He wasn't a person. He was Daddy. Maybe unintentionally but you might have separated the two. Only accepting him as Daddy and rejecting the rest of him. Daddy's are persons last time this woman knew of any. She does not speak of Him as an object, but herself only in that way. Did that escape you? Cherisher wrote: I mean it comes off that way. I mean, if he still wanted a relationship but didn't want to be your Daddy and you broke it off. Its pretty clear that you having a Daddy was more important to you than having him in your life. Otherwise you'd be with him no matter what he preferred to be called. We are each allowed in this life and world to seek one who fits us best. If He decided He could no longer be for her what she needed, she has every right on this earth to then move on and find one who can. No human is required to be and stay with one who no longer meets their needs. I daresay you would not hang onto one who no longer fulfilled the requirements of your psyche. Cherisher wrote: Really its the same thing when a man is only interested in a woman because of sex. He's only interested in how she treats him and how she makes him feel. And its the same for only being interested in a person because they are a Dom. You're only interested in how they treat you and make you feel. And not forming a real relationship with that person but just the 'Daddy' part of them. And really if that is the case then the next man is just going to be another 'Daddy' not a person you accept into your heart and into your life but a person you accept into your life simply to play a role. And that might be fine for you and maybe even for the next man you call Daddy. But its really kind of shallow in my opinion. And I think a real 'Daddy' would want you to want more for yourself than that. We, again, all have our own particular needs. It is evident from her words, that He at one time fulfilled the needs she had. It was HE who no longer felt comfortable in the role she needed. What words would you offer HIM in this event? Would you be so judgmental towards Him for removing from the equation a vital part of it? Would you council Him to continue, because if He really cared about her more than as sub/slave, He would/should? Why is it a lack in her that causes this judgment? He was the one who changed the accepted dynamic of the relationship. It was ok for Him to change but not for her to feel as though she is missing out on what she once had? This life is far too short to settle for what others think we should accept and not for what we ourselves need, to be happy, whole and content. The judgments of others will always leave us thirsting for true refreshment in our Spirits, if we let them. Take time girl to sort your feelings and emotions out. Make perfectly clear in your meeting new men that you are interested in what makes you feel right with the world. Do not hold back for fear of not receiving anything at all. There are enough out there that you will eventually find the one who is better suited for you than the last was.................v