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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Un-collared..." 1 2 3 Un-collared... (22) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Mon 24 May 10, 9:41 PM kaitlyn 4 yrs Hey A/all, This question is mostly for other submissives but I'd be more than happy to hear a Dominant's perspective as well. How do you handle not being collared, when you really start to want D/s back in your life? And is it this hard for anyone else to NOT be collared? I feel like it shouldn't be this difficult... Thanks, Kate 24 May 10, 10:46 PM Vickie US(WI), 7 yrs Y! kaitlyn wrote: Un-collared... Hey A/all, This question is mostly for other submissives but I'd be more than happy to hear a Dominant's perspective as well. How do you handle not being collared, when you really start to want D/s back in your life? And is it this hard for anyone else to NOT be collared? I feel like it shouldn't be this difficult... Thanks, Kate This one enjoys her life without a collar but also would enjoy a D/M's collar around her neck. This one feels conflicted about it but realizes to get what she wants she has to give up something she enjoys or loves. Nobody is perfect. In bondage I am made free. 25 May 10, 12:24 AM submissive_lyric US(IL), 3 yrs kaitlyn wrote: Un-collared... And is it this hard for anyone else to NOT be collared? I feel like it shouldn't be this difficult... Thanks, Kate For me, it is very difficult...even though I have over a year of not being collared under my belt; there are still times that I physically feel the absence of that other power in my life. It becomes even harder when I go to a local event and see so many happy couples. I think that the difficult part (for me at least) is to not let that emptiness cloud your judgment when starting things up with a potential Dom. In my case, my brain over thinks and I have not learned yet how to just go with the flow...always thinking that things will end badly this time around like they did the last time and I will have to go through the loss all over again. Maybe letting our brain get in the way is what makes it so hard. crissi 25 May 10, 2:45 AM 741-498-880 4 yrs I really don't have any idea how I would handle it, because I am in a live-together, life-time committed M/s relationship. Being uncollared isn't something I can actually honestly even picture in my head, though I am guessing it would be a fairly emotionally unpleasant experience if you were expecting a long-term commitment of any sort. I wish you luck finding a way to deal/cope with it. 25 May 10, 3:08 AM master4sltslv US, 2 yrs Are you currently seeking an owner, and if so are you willing to relocate? 25 May 10, 4:23 AM Missus US(TX), 2 yrs kaitlyn wrote: And is it this hard for anyone else to NOT be collared? I feel like it shouldn't be this difficult... Thanks, Kate my last long term relationship never really worked with D/s in it, i had done it previous to that for three and a half years. But even during that joining my old Master would use a lack of my collar as a punishment if he was overly displeased with something and had no desire to physically harm me or scold me. He'd take my collar off and i can honestly say that might have been the single worst punishment i've ever been given. The first time it brought me to tears. After nearly 4 years though we developed issues and split. So going into a relationship where i couldn't have that hurt. Mainly because i knew it was something i'm great at, i knew i loved being able to take care of the one i'm with in that manner and give my absolute everything to that person without holding anything back. It would ping every now and then, and when this girl would attempt to bring the D/s aspect even remotely into the life of my and i he would react horribly to it, and assumed it meant that at all times no matter what he asked of her and how much she was against it that i had to do it or be severely punished. Which lead to me doing things i knew i hated and that i had previously set as my limits, things i said i wouldn't do for one reason or another. Every now and then with him i'd notice the lack of a collar, the actual feeling of it not being there and this would bother me so i just took to wearing necklaces in hopes to push that thought out of my mind. But that relationship is in the past. i'm now with someone who's never done D/s before so it took a few months of talking and telling Sir what it was all about, and how much this part of my life means to me and that i would love to be able to share it with Him. Things are currently looking great. But i know that if i was to again not be wearing a collar it would do the same thing as before, i'd be happy with who i'm with (if i wasn't completely single) but i wouldn't be as happy as i know i can be. i hope that was of some sort of insight into what you're asking. snowflake. 25 May 10, 6:22 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs kaitlyn wrote: Un-collared... Hey A/all, This question is mostly for other submissives but I'd be more than happy to hear a Dominant's perspective as well. How do you handle not being collared, when you really start to want D/s back in your life? And is it this hard for anyone else to NOT be collared? I feel like it shouldn't be this difficult... Thanks, Kate This slave thinks it is difficult though. Most subs and slaves need a director to keep them motivated, happy, well, and taken care of. It isn't easy to lose that. Before this slave knew what bdsm was, and M/s, she was constantly getting in relationships trying to find it. And she couldn't stand not being in a relationship at all. She thinks if she were to be disowned that would happen again. Constant searching. A bad feeling of not being motivated, and a deep feeling of "missing" something. -s Always the curious one ~ s 26 May 10, 4:02 AM naughtyslave US, 2 yrs For me, it has been very difficult. i had never felt so loved or safe as i did when i was collared.When ever i felt stressed or lonely i would tug on it,just like He did, to remind me i belonged to Him. There is always a certain shame i feel to say, yes i was collared and now i am not. It is also very hard to not always compare to the way it was before, because it will never be the same. i wish you peace and good luck... Take care, naughty 28 May 10, 7:07 AM sonoran_mamma US, 4 yrs During thislast year I have been uncollared, and have used that time to focus on myself, reexamine my limits, and more importantly what I needed and could offer another Dominant. There is something to be said about finding true happiness serving another, but make sure you give yourself time to learn from the previous relationship so the same mistakes aren't made again. 30 May 10, 6:58 AM 220-430-196 US(WI), 2 yrs Since i've never been in an actual M/s relationship before, i'm coming at this with a slightly different perspective. Master has owned me for about a year and wants to collar me as much as i want Him to. But W/we are both married and cannot be together 24/7 or be open about our relationship. i often felt an almost physical ache to feel His collar on me and He knows how much it bothered me. W/we hope that someday there will be a chance for U/us to be with each other in a 24/7 relationship, but for now W/we have settled on me wearing a simple chain-link style bracelet to symbolize His ownership of me. No one would guess it's meaning and when i get stressed it reminds me that He believes in me. If you are an unowned slave/submissive maybe wearing something like this would work to remind you of your mindset until the right D/M comes along and hopefully collars you someday. 3 Jun 10, 11:32 PM 458-296-861 US(WI), 2 yrs His beloved pet is collared though W/we have yet to formally exchange vows. W/we have had some issues to straighten out, and perhaps just more time, before W/we make it official. O/our relationship is unique in that W/we live 7 hours apart. W/we can only touch for about a week out of every 4 to 8 weeks. W/we have been in a loving D/s relationship for 4 years now, and i feel the absence of Him keenly when He is not here... If, in those times alone, this one did not have that collar to touch, feel around her neck, lonliness would surely overwealm her. Have enough courage to go against the tide, and enough sense not to get bashed on the rocks! His beloved pet forever and always 458-296-861 Next page