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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "different expectations of submission?" 1 2 different expectations of submission? (12) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Sun 16 May 10, 8:21 PM 222-320-624 UK, 2 yrs I have only been interested in d/s a short time (4 months) and have a Dom who lives a couple of hours away. Since the relationship started I am discovering that my submission goes a lot deeper than either of us thought it would and although I am not ready for a full 24/7 m/s relationship I would definately like it taken deeper. I see my Dom every 10 days or so, text him good morning and good night and sometimes in between, and speak 3 times per week approximately. Our relationship is VERY sexual and the d/s is mostly around that. I would like it to extend to other areas too so I feel more "owned" but know he hasnt got a lot of time to devote to much more contact. I intend to talk to him about this in a few days - he has acknowledged that I thrive under close supervision - when I see him next but I am wondering if you knowledgable guys can give me some ideas of what we can do. I have a punishment book - but again its mostly sexual misdemeanours. I know that I am now essentially a different sub to the one I was 3 months ago and that it might be time for me to move on but I would be upset to lose him and dont want to chuck the baby out with the bath water. Thank yooooooouuuu 16 May 10, 9:03 PM 741-498-880 4 yrs I wish I could help you, but for me, being owned isn't about sex.... so while i can think of kinky sex fantasies I could suggest, none of them have to do with ownership, since ownership or being controlled isn't necessarily about sex. Good luck figuring it out though! 16 May 10, 9:07 PM 222-320-624 UK, 2 yrs Im not looking for sexual suggestions per se - I dont think we are lacking in that area - just the opposite in fact. jakesemma wrote: I wish I could help you, but for me, being owned isn't about sex.... so while i can think of kinky sex fantasies I could suggest, none of them have to do with ownership, since ownership or being controlled isn't necessarily about sex. Good luck figuring it out though! 16 May 10, 10:20 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs You could try looking in the internet for: The Submissive Guide website, a monthly newsletter for submissives full of helpful information. The Best Slave Training website, for ideas on taking your submissive/slave training further. I thought of those two site off the top of my head. I am sure if you do a more indpeth internet search, you could find more helpful resources. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair 16 May 10, 10:53 PM 688-681-918 US(OR), 2 yrs Personally I think there are several things you can do during your daily routine. You might want to look at getting the workbook "WHERE I AM LED, A Service Exploration Workbook" by Christina Parker from Alfred Press for $5.00. http://alfredpress.com/ There are excellent exercises that lead you in thinking about your personal internal process in deepening your submission. Another thing you might try is doing your daily chores with conscious intention… as if your Dom was there with you. Conducting yourself daily as if he was a witness will set you into a frame of mind that will promote his ownership of you. It also has the added benefit making you more aware of how you conduct yourself day to day and where you need to put more effort. Good luck to you on your journey! 688-681-918 For anything worth having, one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice ~no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service. ~John Burroughs 16 May 10, 11:07 PM thegildedlili 3 yrs 222-320-624 wrote: different expectations of submission? I have only been interested in d/s a short time (4 months) and have a Dom who lives a couple of hours away. Since the relationship started I am discovering that my submission goes a lot deeper than either of us thought it would and although I am not ready for a full 24/7 m/s relationship I would definately like it taken deeper. I see my Dom every 10 days or so, text him good morning and good night and sometimes in between, and speak 3 times per week approximately. Our relationship is VERY sexual and the d/s is mostly around that. I would like it to extend to other areas too so I feel more "owned" but know he hasnt got a lot of time to devote to much more contact. I intend to talk to him about this in a few days - he has acknowledged that I thrive under close supervision - when I see him next but I am wondering if you knowledgable guys can give me some ideas of what we can do. I have a punishment book - but again its mostly sexual misdemeanours. I know that I am now essentially a different sub to the one I was 3 months ago and that it might be time for me to move on but I would be upset to lose him and dont want to chuck the baby out with the bath water. Thank yooooooouuuu It sounds like your dom is being very honest with you about the amount of time (or lack thereof) he has for you. You say in your profile that you are "looking", which indicates to me that you probably already know that you aren't likely to get what you want from this current relationship. I'd be having "the talk" with your dom ASAP if I were you so you know exactly where you stand and what your doms long term goals for the relationship are, that way you'll know if you are on the same page and whether or not it's worth pursuing. I will say though, that I wouldn't be putting any energy into a relationship that I was as unsure of as you sound (going by your profile) and if I were your dom, I would take your personal ad as a sign that you weren't particularly committed to the one you are already in either. I also really believe that some people come into our lives simply to help us cross the bridge into something new, and perhaps your current dom is here simply to do that. It sounds like he has awakened a need in you, and even if the relationship progresses no further, you come away having more insight into what you need than you did before you met him. I hope it works out for you. i have no need, for such things, but to make you happy... Josh Pyke Edited 16 May 10, 11:12 PM by thegildedlili 17 May 10, 1:59 AM 976-149-021 2 yrs Hi girlfriend. I am so proud of you for looking for what you want, it's not easy and is taking more work than I ever thought it would. Silly me. Hopefully we can chat this week. All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling. Blaise Pascal http://slaveintraining.wordpress.com/about/ 17 May 10, 9:31 AM 222-320-624 UK, 2 yrs He IS being honest and tbh I AM unsure about looking for more. My instinct is to bring the subject up in a very non-threatening almost casual way, get some ideas from the resources you great people have sent me and gently suggest them and see where it takes us. thegildedlili wrote: It sounds like your dom is being very honest with you about the amount of time (or lack thereof) he has for you. You say in your profile that you are "looking", which indicates to me that you probably already know that you aren't likely to get what you want from this current relationship. I'd be having "the talk" with your dom ASAP if I were you so you know exactly where you stand and what your doms long term goals for the relationship are, that way you'll know if you are on the same page and whether or not it's worth pursuing. I will say though, that I wouldn't be putting any energy into a relationship that I was as unsure of as you sound (going by your profile) and if I were your dom, I would take your personal ad as a sign that you weren't particularly committed to the one you are already in either. I also really believe that some people come into our lives simply to help us cross the bridge into something new, and perhaps your current dom is here simply to do that. It sounds like he has awakened a need in you, and even if the relationship progresses no further, you come away having more insight into what you need than you did before you met him. I hope it works out for you. Edited 19 May 10, 8:56 AM by 222-320-624 17 May 10, 3:08 PM sweetgirl US(TX), 4 yrs my Master/ Husband is a truck driver so we have the same however He checks on throughout the day i report a written log nightly and punishments are proven by pictures. He also listens on the phone and knows. He does keep me in check and i too thrive on close supervision. He also has behavior rules when He sees me. Punishments are also kept with Him for anything He choses to deal with when he gets home. All my desicions are His. The slave seated at the feet of my Master.To be pushed and used as he sees fit. 17 May 10, 3:08 PM sweetgirl US(TX), 4 yrs my Master/ Husband is a truck driver so we have the same however He checks on throughout the day i report a written log nightly and punishments are proven by pictures. He also listens on the phone and knows. He does keep me in check and i too thrive on close supervision. He also has behavior rules when He sees me. Punishments are also kept with Him for anything He choses to deal with when he gets home. All my desicions are His. The slave seated at the feet of my Master.To be pushed and used as he sees fit. 17 May 10, 3:34 PM slave2master US, 5 yrs It can be a bit difficult via long distance to incorporate many of the rituals, protocols and other signs of ownership into a relationship. However, there are ways you can get started. Non-sexual tasks that might please him are writing assignments regarding submission, following an exercise or healthy eating plan that he devises, reading certain materials related to the lifestyle that chooses for you to read. These are just a few suggestions,but perhaps will give you an idea of where to start. Good luck! Next page