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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Sub/Slave Stories on Your Breaking Point?" Sub/Slave Stories on Your Breaking Point? (5) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Tue 11 May 10, 10:43 PM 321-347-898 CA, 2 yrs £ i am a somewhat novice submissive... but i have read alot lately on IE... and the debate on being "broken" as a submissive. To be honest i thought this was horse droppings ... and that psychologically there would be no "breaking" as my heart was already that of service to my Master. How wrong i was. This past weekend... Sir and i were having an intimate evening and doing nothing out of the ordinary as it relates to our bedroom fun -- and entered into deep subspace. So deeply that Master had to pull me back. i began to sob and he reassured me that he was with me... that he wouldn't let me fall. That he was there. Thereafter, i was so embarassed... i managed to pull myself together... before running off to his large bathroom... assuming my kneeling position and wept hysterically for 1/2 an hour. Master bolted out of bed right away... and held me... talking me down for almost an hour about my fears of losing him... about serving him... and so on. The truth is - i was mumbling for most of it incoherently and my eyes were rolling back into my head. Sir was scared i could see it. He got me a large blanket and held me in his arms for the entire rest of the night. What came out of me that night was pure and utter submission. Psychologically i broke. i know i did... and not in a bad way - but just that my ego was no longer there. That i now live to serve Master. It was like i was drowning... and at the last second i was able to make my way to the surface gasping for air. That is the best way i can describe it. Everything seems so different now... and my interactions with Master have changed so much. We are so much closer than we were before - and somehow more connected. My inhibitions are gone and i willfully submit to Master. Has anyone else experienced something similar? 12 May 10, 7:44 AM IsabellaGrace UK, 3 yrs http://www.slaveregister.com/posts/180152/0/#180... You may find this thread helpful. Isabela 12 May 10, 4:12 PM Sir_Aldric 5 yrs Hi, I had my doubts whether to reply here or in a personal memo so I hope you don't mind I did it this way.. Yes, you had an intense psychological experience; I don't have any doubt about that. If that was "pure and utter submission".. maybe yes, maybe no.. Personally I'm a bit skeptical in general about "the breaking of a slave", but since I don't have any practical experience it is just based on my knowledge of the human mind. You see: the human mind is fascinating stuff; it's like a diamond that reflects light differently if looked at from an other angle. So looking at your own words from an other perspective I would say that what happened there Primarily was your fear of losing someone special to you and Secondary (as a subconscious counter-reaction) you presenting (transforming) yourself in a way which should prevent this from happening. I feel this matches better the fact that your Master was surprised, scared, the words he initially used, your previous post about your personal jealousy, other women etc. Maybe you lost someone close before as well; the situation points a bit in that direction. The reason I post here and not in a memo is that for all of us goes that if you want to find out what goes on deep within yourself, you should not be afraid to look towards yourself from different angles. Wrong conclusions have a tendency of boomeranging back later in your life.. Anyway, most probably I'm hopelessly wrong and I hope I amused you and the community with a 90 degree different perspective SA Relax, life is too short to get upset. 13 May 10, 10:30 PM 321-347-898 CA, 2 yrs £ Thankyou so very much for Your insights Sir A. i am moved that You took the time to present Your reflections - they are most insightful! i think in many respects You are right - that it is a culmination of many events triggered by my Master whispering in my ear "to come back to him" ... and that he was there for me. His gesture of tenderness and care indeed rather violently pulled me out of subspace and that threw me into a tailspin i think - and i rather suddenly recognized my utter submission to him. i think it is one thing to "know" that you are a submissive/slave... and another to feel the depths of it for the first time. i can say for the first time i felt it... and the depths of my devotion to Master. Combined with all of the reflections You acknowledge - fears of moving, fears of he being with others (which he directly told me last nite that he was NOT and didn't want me to think that at all), fears of losing him again... The loss You speak of is indeed deep... i have lost many... and the one i have always cherished most was my first love as a teen - who is also my Master 12 years later Master has been paying close attention to me this week - out of concern i imagine... and i can say with all earnesty that my level of trust in his ability to "be there" and catch me as i fall into this whole life and realization i am a sub has increased ten fold. He also knows this as well - as he has been testing my submissive responsiveness to questions, directions, etc. i am also happy to report that Master has started a more formal training process for me as i am moving out of the "consideration" phase as it were. i couldn't be happier!! Edited 13 May 10, 10:33 PM by 321-347-898 21 Aug 10, 5:35 PM 272-387-080 US(PA), 5 yrs I define being broken as instant, unquestioning obedience. I have been broken twice. Both situations involved confinement, isolation and total dependence on my captor for all my basic and other needs. In both cases it took a surprisingly short time for my captor to break me. 3 Sep 10, 10:25 PM 254-963-103 6 yrs 272-387-080 wrote: I define being broken as instant, unquestioning obedience. I have been broken twice.. In both cases it took a surprisingly short time for my captor to break me. I was in same situation ...twice.. First owner broke me in 3 months, I do not know how she did it. I became owned slave/property. The second one broke me in 2 months or less, may be the previous owner gave her some tips. Final outcome is that I am broken like a horse or a puppy, and pleases my owner without hesitation.