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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Enslavement process" 1 2 3 Enslavement process (28) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Fri 7 May 10, 1:40 AM nequam AU, 6 yrs i'm feeling a bit confused at the moment. i have these urges within me to go through severe training, almost to the point of breaking my spirit. i'm talking about some pretty extreme things as a way to help the inner slave break free. The confusion is, its not supposed to be about my needs, its supposed to be about what Master wants. How do i deal with the frustration of needs i have not being met while at the same time realising i'm already doing that which i need to do? Has anybody else struggled with the need to be forced into slavery (almost)? owned property of Sir Trisk Being your slave what should I do but tend Upon the hours, and times of your desire? Sonnet 57 - William Shakespeare 7 May 10, 3:34 AM Vickie US(WI), 7 yrs Y! slavemichelle wrote: Enslavement process i'm feeling a bit confused at the moment. i have these urges within me to go through severe training, almost to the point of breaking my spirit. i'm talking about some pretty extreme things as a way to help the inner slave break free. The confusion is, its not supposed to be about my needs, its supposed to be about what Master wants. How do i deal with the frustration of needs i have not being met while at the same time realising i'm already doing that which i need to do? Has anybody else struggled with the need to be forced into slavery (almost)? your spirit must be strong if you feel the need to be almost forced into slavery. As a slave you need to trust your Master's training and believe that He has your best interests in mind. If you feel you need a stronger form of training you need to talk to your Master about it and He will decide what to do. In bondage I am made free. 7 May 10, 2:05 PM TheConstantGardener US(MD), 2 yrs slavemichelle wrote: Enslavement process i'm feeling a bit confused at the moment. i have these urges within me to go through severe training, almost to the point of breaking my spirit. i'm talking about some pretty extreme things as a way to help the inner slave break free. The confusion is, its not supposed to be about my needs, its supposed to be about what Master wants. How do i deal with the frustration of needs i have not being met while at the same time realising i'm already doing that which i need to do? Has anybody else struggled with the need to be forced into slavery (almost)? First of all let me commend you for coming to this realization on your own. A lot of subs put in this situation tend to blame the Dom for not being 'Dom' enough. And really most of the time it has little to do with the Dom. I've always believed that what makes a good slave/sub is the ability to empty themselves of their own wants and desires so that they can be filled with the wishes and desires of their Dom. So in essence the slave/sub is a container or vehicle for their Dom's desires. So if your cup is already full of what your expectations and desires of a what a Master should be and act, how is a Master supposed to fill a cup that is already full? Giving a Dom complete control and then trying to influence or tell them how to use that control is like letting telling someone they can drive your car but they can only turn when you feel its okay. Why let them drive the car if you're not going to let them go where they want to go? At that point, the Master becomes nothing more than a glorified chauffeur. That said. This is usually the problem but not always the problem. There is also the question of quantity. If you're a 10 gallon cup and they only have 1 gallon of desires to pour into you. Well you're not going to feel fully utilized or like you're reaching your full potential. But I think your realization is the first step in the right direction. I believe just as much as a Dom should really focus inwardly to try and learn what kind of Dom they want to be, its the same for subs. So my first bit of advice is to really look at yourself and ask yourself which of the previous examples are you? Are you a cup that's already full with your own desires. Or are you a cup that is simply not being filled completely? If you're the full cup. You really have to look at what you desire, how important are they to you? Is it something you want as an experience or something of a lasting desire? Unfulfilled desires in a person (Dom or sub) can become cancerous if left unsatisfied so simply setting them aside is rarely the answer. They end up like a small cut left unattended, can get infected and what was a small nagging issue becomes a reason problem for the health of your relationship. So you have to be honest with yourself. How important are the desires to you before you 'pour them out of your cup'? And how do you empty your cup? Its a matter of perspective. Some subs (in my opinion most) are a little vain. Its not a bad thing mind you but they look at their Doms and the commands and orders given like mirrors. They see themselves through their Dom's eyes. They imagine what their Dom sees and that picture in their head pleases them. That might work for you to try to see yourself as you think your Dom does. Another approach is to look at your Dom and his commands and orders like windows. Don't look so much at what he makes you do but rather why does he make you do it. Try to connect by taking your submission as a means of learning and understanding not only to learn the depths of yourself as a person but your partner as well. That is the approach I adhere to as well as encourage in subs. Each instruction is a glimpse into what makes him happy or what he wants you to be. A simple saying helps keep this mind frame: Clay does not mold clay. For many Doms we do what we do as a means of expression or exploration. See yourself as clay and allow yourself to be molded. For me what gives an action its worth is the meaning or emotion behind it. In any relationship our behavior is as big a part of how we communicate as the words we share with one another. So while you're focusing on what he does, you might be missing out on a much deeper connection behind the reason or nature of his behavior. Now if its a matter of his desire is not enough to fill the cup you've emptied for him. Well there are a number of things you can do. Its a small belief of mine that a sub should be obedient to their Dom but not dependent. You can set up your own standards and expectations with in the limitations your Dom places on you. From every task no matter how big or now tall. Become an overachiever. He wants you to clean the floor. Make it sparkle like your life depended on it. If he asks you to get something. Examine his mood if he's looks relaxed try being creative. Get down on all fours and 'go fetch'. Really just as much as being a Dom is a form of expression so is being a sub. So take a look at yourself and really try to give a 'voice' to your behavior. Don't just do the task make it a part of who you are in that moment and give yourself entirely to it. Role play with yourself there might not be a punishment awaiting you but you can do the task as if he was going to cut off your limbs if you failed him. You can even punish yourself. Now I don't mean go off and start spanking yourself or anything drastic like that, if you feel you must go that far talk to your Dom first and see how he feels about it. Remember you are his and I know I wouldn't want anyone damaging my stuff. But you can do small things, like on your free time if there is things you like to do you can abstain from what you like. But really the goal here is to squeeze as much servitude as you can out of each task as possible. If you really put in the effort and throw everything you have into it that should help fill your cup a great deal more. But if you really find yourself feeling anxious after that I HIGHLY suggest taking up a regular exercise routine. Go running, work out at home, join a gym, really anything to really wear you out. Because if you have a strong emotional connection and you're really honed in and committing yourself mentally than its not an imbalance of desire but more so an imbalance of energy. Its the same when you're trying to train a high energy dog. You're trying to train them and their energy level is through the roof, they're excited, they're bouncing all over the place. They're all "Lets play lets play lets play... throw the ball, throw it.. throw it... Oh a leash... I bet I can pull you harder than you can pull me! Come on lets play... lets play lets play..." And you can't train them when they are like that. But take that same dog take it out first for a long walk or let it run around the yard and burn off some of that energy and THEN try to train it well the dog becomes much more receptive. And you can be the same way. Though not to the extent of an excited dog. You might be present in your mind and in your body but in your heart, your desire could be like that high energy dog "Ooo when are you going to hit me... hit me... grab my throat... ooo throw me to the ground... make me grovel make me beg... do it do it do it..." and though you're going through the motions your heart really is not focused. Or it could be your mind too. But that energy level needs to be put into check and brought down to a level more in balance with your Dom. So a good heavy work out can bring down that energy level a few notches. If you're tired, you're calm, if you're calm you're more receptive. So really its just a way of emptying your cup rather than doing it mentally its more of a physical drain to shave off some of that excess energy. That way you'll be better equipped to focus on what you're doing rather than what you want to do. Hope any of that helps. I have a habit of rambling and not making a lot of sense sometimes. Its late/early here so really not in the mood to go back and proof read, so this is what it is. Take it for what its worth and I hope it serves as some assistance to you. Best of luck to you, C. Edited 7 May 10, 2:08 PM by TheConstantGardener 7 May 10, 2:47 PM 222-320-624 UK, 2 yrs OMG NOW I understand what my Dom is trying to say to me when I go off running in all directions and to focus - thanks for putting it so well. Thats brilliant! Cherisher wrote: slavemichelle wrote: Enslavement process Its the same when you're trying to train a high energy dog. You're trying to train them and their energy level is through the roof, they're excited, they're bouncing all over the place. They're all "Lets play lets play lets play... throw the ball, throw it.. throw it... Oh a leash... I bet I can pull you harder than you can pull me! Come on lets play... lets play lets play..." And you can't train them when they are like that. But take that same dog take it out first for a long walk or let it run around the yard and burn off some of that energy and THEN try to train it well the dog becomes much more receptive. And you can be the same way. Though not to the extent of an excited dog. You might be present in your mind and in your body but in your heart, your desire could be like that high energy dog "Ooo when are you going to hit me... hit me... grab my throat... ooo throw me to the ground... make me grovel make me beg... do it do it do it..." and though you're going through the motions your heart really is not focused. Or it could be your mind too. But that energy level needs to be put into check and brought down to a level more in balance with your Dom. So a good heavy work out can bring down that energy level a few notches. If you're tired, you're calm, if you're calm you're more receptive. So really its just a way of emptying your cup rather than doing it mentally its more of a physical drain to shave off some of that excess energy. That way you'll be better equipped to focus on what you're doing rather than what you want to do. 8 May 10, 3:58 AM nequam AU, 6 yrs Thank you Vickie, i have spoken with Master and He is working through it in His mind, then we will talk about it. It was not unwelcome by Him so that's a good first sign. Cherisher, thank you for taking so much time, your answer does make a lot of sense. i think i have been more type A than type B before this. i had so many defenses, i couldn't just relax and allow things to happen. Now i find myself beginning to empty. i have gone back to my rules and started to implement them again, which is proving positive. i have also added touches as you suggested, which have been well received. i'm finding taking the time to just be in the moment, sit at Master's feet while He watches TV or has dinner, i tend to go into a "wait space" where i am content to just be with Him. i am also finding myself now willing to do the tasks i am supposed to do but have been fighting for so long. Your words have helped to clear a few things up, thank you. owned property of Sir Trisk Being your slave what should I do but tend Upon the hours, and times of your desire? Sonnet 57 - William Shakespeare 8 May 10, 5:10 AM 806-758-669 US(NY), 2 yrs I sought out my owner, that is to say I looked for a Master and HE found me. Did I know what it all meant? No! In many ways I am glad certain things were forced on me. I am much stronger for it. Be certain of this. If you desire to be a slave, and it is this current Master you are most in tune with, meaning you can not imagine life without Him, then and only then allow Him to force you. (Truth is, He will always consider what You cant do, especially if it interferes with your daily life outside). Master took from me all that I would never give freely. I am still standing. 8 May 10, 6:06 AM Master_IanNZ NZ, 2 yrs Cherisher has hit the nail on the head, a very well considered post and one that this Master certainly can identify with. Thank You for that! Master_IanNZ 8 May 10, 6:38 PM mutable 2 yrs Maybe this is a passing phase slavemichelle, maybe not. You have been with your master long enough to comfortably understand your dynamic, so I guess he is aware of how you are feeling? Cherisher raises a point of view to be considered. However, sometimes we just chafe at that need for something more, however momentarily felt. If excercise, new regimes and meditation upon your slavery do not work, would your master be opposed to certain and controlled (by him) experiences with another? None of us 'grow' or change at the same rate. It may be that you just have to look into yourself for solace whilst your master catches up or reigns you in. It may be that your 'fantasy' is just that, and the reality of it proves unsatisfactory. In any event, I am sure you already know that communication is the key, and that this is just one of those hurdles to be conquered, one way or another. Caveat : Non offensive and always learning. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are' Anais Nin 9 May 10, 3:36 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs Cherisher wrote: I've always believed that what makes a good slave/sub is the ability to empty themselves of their own wants and desires so that they can be filled with the wishes and desires of their Dom. So in essence the slave/sub is a container or vehicle for their Dom's desires. So if your cup is already full of what your expectations and desires of a what a Master should be and act, how is a Master supposed to fill a cup that is already full? Giving a Dom complete control and then trying to influence or tell them how to use that control is like letting telling someone they can drive your car but they can only turn when you feel its okay. Why let them drive the car if you're not going to let them go where they want to go? At that point, the Master becomes nothing more than a glorified chauffeur. That said. This is usually the problem but not always the problem. There is also the question of quantity. If you're a 10 gallon cup and they only have 1 gallon of desires to pour into you. Well you're not going to feel fully utilized or like you're reaching your full potential. But I think your realization is the first step in the right direction. I believe just as much as a Dom should really focus inwardly to try and learn what kind of Dom they want to be, its the same for subs. So my first bit of advice is to really look at yourself and ask yourself which of the previous examples are you? Are you a cup that's already full with your own desires. Or are you a cup that is simply not being filled completely? This slave doesn't agree with this at all. Maybe it's because you're discussing Ds and not Ms, but everyone has expectations. And she does understand how maybe some subs or slaves expectations are too high (example: He needs to have long, curly hair, a hot muscular bod, and his attitude needs to be ..."). But then again, it's completely impossible to abandon these expectations and become "an empty cup waiting to be filled." IMO, an empty cup waiting to be filled is an empty cup waiting to be smashed apart. It depends on the sub (because a sub can still have limits and a slave can't; bad advice for a slave to do this) and if they can handle this, and if they can really take all that shaping; molding; and filling. But what if they can't? It brings up a lot of issues. A person should never forget who they are, what they need, what they want, what their goals are, and conclusively: what type of partner they need to compliment all this. Cherisher wrote: First of all let me commend you for coming to this realization on your own. A lot of subs put in this situation tend to blame the Dom for not being 'Dom' enough. And really most of the time it has little to do with the Dom. This is something this slave brings up a lot. "Sometimes the 'Dom' isn't 'dominant' enough, and that's what your (general you) problem is." So she supposes this comment would be directed towards her But then she's a slave, and not a sub. This comment though is very general. It can be used with Ms too. Sometimes a Master isn't "masterly" enough for his slave. It comes back down to the expectations again. And why a sub or slave should be empty or full. Even if a sub or slave claimed to be "empty" they have their morals, and they can't get rid of those. If a Dom or Master isn't right for his sub/slave, it isn't going to work out. And every sub/slave has a specific amount of control they need from their Dom or Master. Sure, she bets lots of Doms/Masters would love to have an "empty," slave. Wouldn't that make it so much easier? But it's a fantasy; it's not realistic. It can't happen. But if someone finds "the one" they can surely tweak themselves to their Top's modifications. Cherisher wrote: If you're the full cup. You really have to look at what you desire, how important are they to you? Is it something you want as an experience or something of a lasting desire? Unfulfilled desires in a person (Dom or sub) can become cancerous if left unsatisfied so simply setting them aside is rarely the answer. They end up like a small cut left unattended, can get infected and what was a small nagging issue becomes a reason problem for the health of your relationship. This slave agreed with this part of your post. And she hopes others paid attention to it. -s Always the curious one ~ s 9 May 10, 3:40 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs slavemichelle wrote: Enslavement process i'm feeling a bit confused at the moment. i have these urges within me to go through severe training, almost to the point of breaking my spirit. i'm talking about some pretty extreme things as a way to help the inner slave break free. The confusion is, its not supposed to be about my needs, its supposed to be about what Master wants. How do i deal with the frustration of needs i have not being met while at the same time realising i'm already doing that which i need to do? Has anybody else struggled with the need to be forced into slavery (almost)? Before this slave understood M/s (or any aspect of bdsm) she also felt she would need a man who was completely unbendable to her will, and feared she wouldn't ever find it. So, she also felt she needed this extreme. In her first Ms relationship she found this wasn't true. She didn't need an overly cruel, strict, or demeaning Master. She just needed a Master that had rules and knew how to stick to them. So, opposing Cherisher's post , she finds that you have to find a Master who has the right amount of control for you. Find what you *need* The biggest part of M/s is that it's supposed to be all about the Master. How can it be when the Master isn't controlling his slave in the right way (for said specific slave) to get his wants satisfied? -s Always the curious one ~ s 23 May 10, 1:15 AM 491-315-154 US(CA), 2 yrs I am happy to know that I am not the only slave who has ever felt like she would almost want to be forced sometimes. Perhaps it is something on a much deeper level for us. Next page