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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Masters Personal Demons" Masters Personal Demons (3) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Thu 6 May 10, 8:39 AM Missus US(TX), 2 yrs Before i started with my Master we knew each other for about two years before actually getting together. During those two years we didn't speak all the time but apparently according Him and all the friends we share He was prone to having sever anger issues. He's since calmed down and i can honestly say in the past 9 months i haven't seen Him express any sort of outward anger. The only time He's even mentioned being outwardly angry is when someone i know did something extremely wrong towards me. This isn't an issue, i have no issue with Him not showing sever anger any more obviously it's much better that He doesn't allow Himself to get to that point. But He's now come to hate anger, and thus has a sort of fear in punishing me when i've done something wrong. The other day i over stepped my bounds and snapped at Him for something i thought He did while my back was turned. i thought Sir had handled a very expensive gift of mine in a childish manner and snapped at Him for something He hadn't actually done. i quickly apologized but while doing so He expressed that my sudden outburst caused Him to become angered, and that in doing so He wanted to say something in return to my sudden outburst. i've expressed to Him that it's perfectly fine and that i would never take any punishment or raised voice on His part if deserved as anything other than me being reminded of my position. i even expressed that at that moment i had expected Him to react in a sort of manner that would result in Him at least telling me it was wrong of me and for me to not do it again. But in return i was just told that He has no desire to raise His voice towards me when He's angry with me because He doesn't want to ever be angry. This i also understand, but when i tried explaining that one doesn't need to actually be angry to tell another not to do something that displeases them He simply continued to reiterate that He felt it would lead to Him becoming angry with me. i personally feel that at times there are things i do that are deserving of some form of punishment, i want that part of my relationship with my Master to be there and be strong. i enjoy having that level of structure and discipline. Although i've expressed to Him that i love Him, and trust Him to the fullest and that i have faith that He would never actually hurt me, and that even if He's ever angry i'll continue to care for Him as i had before Master still see's that "reminding me of my place" can only be done if He's actually outwardly angry. i was simply wondering if anyone else has had any sort of similar issue and if they found a way to overcome the issue. Where the Master in the relationship has had issues with punishing out of fear that they would over do it. 6 May 10, 9:03 AM jbdogowner UK, 5 yrs work out a scale of punishments and a time of week they are administered, if you then do something wrong he can tell you at the time to put it in your punishment book. that way he does not punish you in anger (when he is angry) and once administered you are able to have closure and not develop a reputation for a certain failing I hope that makes sense 7 May 10, 3:18 PM TheConstantGardener US(MD), 2 yrs I have to say I am pretty much the same. I find anger actually belittling to me as a person. I don't like myself when I'm angry, I don't like being angry, and I don't like the aftermath of me being angry. As a Dom, if I can't be in control of myself how am I to expect myself to control another human being? Really, if I like you and I'm angry, I don't want my temper to do damage to our relationship. If I don't like you...well why should I care enough to be angry if I can't even care to like you. But either way for me either if I like you or I don't. If I feel myself getting angry. I just leave. You don't have to raise your voice or put your hands on someone to let them know how you feel. If I don't like you or your behavior, then I don't need to be around you. I like to be happy and I prefer to stay that way. I am the master of my mood/behavior and I am in control of my environment. So if I am getting angry its because I'm letting someone make me angry. So if that person is affecting my behavior to the point where I feel I am losing control, then I change my environment. Simple. Right? Now does this mean I drop the situation and don't to anything about it? No. I tell my subs that even if I walk away, I'll always come back to talk about it when I calm down and can engage the issue with a clear and level head. Actually a lot of the time the sudden withdrawl of my presence has a much more sharper sting than anything I could have said or anything I could have did. I think in any relationship but more so in a D/s relationship, a sub will always want the attention and approval of their Dom. So me just up and leaving is the most obvious way of me saying. I don't approve of your behavior and you're not worth my attention. And they have to sit there by themselves and contemplate on the situation with that new perspective. It humbles them and gives me time to refocus myself and we can meet back up both with a mindframe more willing to compromise and try a little more to understand each other. But on another note. I'm getting a different vibe. When you say you 'expected' him to get angry and yell at you, I think its more about that you 'wanted' him to get angry and yell at you. You wanted to be 'put in your place' and he didn't give you that so you feel a little bit sore about it. Its a slippery slope giving into that kind of desire. It can lead to very manipulative behavior. That feeling of being 'put in your place' is as passionate and caring as it is forceful and powerful and that kind of emotion can be quite addiction to some personalities. I've seen it too many times before. A sub will purposefully and willfully act out of line or pick a fight/argument just for the sole purpose of being 'put in their place'. And that is not entirely a bad thing. I've had some subs that knew me well enough to pick a fight with me and I knew them well enough to know why they were doing it and played along anyways. But I knew it was a game and they knew it was a game. And we had fun with it. But when the sub actually starts domming from the bottom and trying to control their Dom into making them punish them or goating them into emotion THEY want them to be in. That is when that behavior has gone too far. Really if you 'trust him to the fullest' like you say. Then trust him when he says he doesn't like to be angry and that is not an emotion he wants to share with you. I've given that very same warning to more than a few people and they gave me the very same reassurances you typed in your post. And then ended up being very wrong when they got the chance to really see me angry. 8 May 10, 5:29 AM Missus US(TX), 2 yrs i will admit at times i do enjoy being punished but the only time i'm willing to push buttons purposely is if i know it's going to amount in a sexual release of some sort. i don't do it if He doesn't know i'm actually playing around, and if i feel He doesn't realize i'm doing it to be playful then i'll stop and apologize for actually upsetting Him. When i say i was "expecting to be yelled at" i simply meant that because of how bad i felt what i'd done was i expected some sort of action to be taken right at that moment against what i'd done. i was originally trained on psychological punishments more so than physical ones. The first person i was a sub for would stop speaking to me if i upset Him, and because of past issues i have a issue with silence it bothers me greatly. So when this method is used to show me that something i've done isn't desired it works greatly. So if He used this form of punishment it would work well. But Sir would much rather act as if the issue didn't happen as long as i say i'm sorry and He can tell that i meant it. i've never had to personally see Masters anger, but He knows i've had my own issues with mine and has seen it against others in my not so amazing moments in time. Because i know there have been times (Not against Him) that i can be over the top angry, i'm more forgiving towards others with the same issue because i can understand where they're coming from. i'm fine with Him not wanting to express actual anger towards me, but He claims that unless He's actually angry He cannot tell me when i've done things He doesn't approve of. Say i snapped at Him like i did, He said He felt the urge to snap back but instead left the apartment. i only knew He was angry because i apologized. But say i did something that only mildly annoyed Him, He would never tell me because in His mind He'll get over it quickly each time i do it so there's no reason to tell me. i've expressed that i don't think that's how it should be done. i would rather not annoy Him or anger Him at all but unless i drag the info out of Him i'd never know.