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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "birds and the bees and the whips" 1 2 birds and the bees and the whips (14) This post is on the O&P web board. 20 Apr 10, 7:29 AM NippleRings UK, 24 mths Never lie or deceive kids. They will never believe you again. You don't have to go into graphic details of your sex life. Let them know that you and your partner play a bit ruff. But let them know that you and your partner love each other, and are very happy 23 May 10, 4:34 AM DraconianOne US, 2 yrs I would not lie to the child in any way in this situation. I think it is necessary for you to learn the language of your daughter here, and explain everything in terms she can understand. Take a moment and try to see the world as your daughter would see it - not as you do. Abused children that triumph over their abuse have a tendency to become very mature very fast. Regrettably, they have had their innocence stolen from them. If given the proper support quickly and early, these children can and do recover from the abuse, and often enough become much stronger and more mature than they would have been had they not endured what they did. Do not however, think... that abuse should be inflicted; The scars are always there - and always will be. I should know - I have my own from extreme emotional abuse from My mother. I do not fault her for it - she was abused herself as a child and did not know better. She was denied the support I later found in my late teens, when the symptoms of the illness inflicted a nervous breakdown that nearly drove me to suicide. Today, I counsel children and adults for a living in an insitutional setting part time, and have an ability to bond with these victims in ways that no doctor or therapist could ever hope to learn in 30 years of training. That empathic ability today I use to help them process the experience they have and cope with it. I tell you from experience, both as a therapist and a victim - that the slightest attempt to lie will get you nowhere; EVER. Even the youngest of abused children quickly catch the inconsistencies that always manifest themselves in situations where adults conceal truth. Find professional help as that is local to you... look in the mirror, tell yourself the truth; and then tell your daughter the truth. Ultimately she will learn that truth; and sooner is better than later. 24 May 10, 4:15 PM 220-430-196 US(WI), 21 mths As a former abuse victim, i can relate completely. my children saw more than i was aware of at the time even though their father tried to hide it from them. Mommy often had lots of owies and they were only 6 and 4 when i finally got away from him. In her teens, my daughter had flashbacks to things i hadn't realized she had witnessed. She is now 24 and her brother is 26. They have cut their father out of their lives. While they want me to be happy, even now they wouldn't understand the dynamics of the relationship between Master and me, so i say nothing and no visible marks are left as much as i would like them. Since Master and i aren't 24/7, it is much easier to hide what they don't need to know. i also have a son from my second marriage and he knows nothing about Master...neither of my sons do...but my daughter has met Him and only knows Him as someone special in my life. She wants me to have some happiness, but due to my history of abuse and abuse that was allowed to happen to her in her father's home, she wouldn't understand the M/s part of our relationship. It can be very complicated and difficult. Good luck! 27 May 10, 9:14 PM DignifiedXDisease US(WI), 3 yrs I agree with the post i am seeing which suggest the truth. as hard as it may sound, you have to find some way to convey to her that you are "playing" and you are not hurt, you are happy, and that what happened before was not playing, and was not okay, and she shouldn't have to be okay with it. Counseling may help, but make sure to find a BDSM friendly counselor, as others may see you as an unfit parent, many psychologists think of this as a mental illness. Make sure she understands the difference between good playing, and being hurt, and that she never has to accept any of it she doesnt want. To break me, you must hold me. hold me, and I will love you. If I love you, I trust you to break me gently.