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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "If romantic first, how was M/s introduced?" 1 2 If romantic first, how was M/s introduced? (16) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board (moved from Internal Enslavement). Sat 17 Apr 10, 4:21 PM taylor_209_847_694 3 yrs i am going to post this here because of the previous post discussion on romantic or M/s first. If you were romantic first, or married, how was the topic first brought up and by whom? i ask because i am married, and i know i am a slave and that's how i want to live. and we are currently separated due to many issues but are going to therapy to at least try. but i need him to know what i am and give him the opportunity to decide for himself if he wants to try to be my Master. and honestly i don't know if he is dominant enough to do this . so i am just wondering how other romantic first couples introduced the lifestyle to the other. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 18 Apr 10, 4:22 PM Paper_of_the_Pen CA, 3 yrs 209-847-694 wrote: If romantic first, how was M/s introduced? i am going to post this here because of the previous post discussion on romantic or M/s first. If you were romantic first, or married, how was the topic first brought up and by whom? i ask because i am married, and i know i am a slave and that's how i want to live. and we are currently separated due to many issues but are going to therapy to at least try. but i need him to know what i am and give him the opportunity to decide for himself if he wants to try to be my Master. and honestly i don't know if he is dominant enough to do this . so i am just wondering how other romantic first couples introduced the lifestyle to the other. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. When replying to this post many thoughts are entering my mind: should I post this on the board or privately? Do I understand what you're going through enough that what my circumstances were will actually help you? Also, I don't think advice should be really given on matters like this as it should suit the original poster, not that of the repliers. Having said that I realize you do need advice for some inspiration to kick in. Sort of like a form of writer's block I assume. I also realize that others likely have this same problem. These are the deciding factors when it comes to me replying in this thread. My Master and I were high school sweethearts. He was two years older then I and left for college a year before I left. While he was away, I shared everything with him, including an article I found online. It was a passage from the book "Fascinating Womanhood" which was a very 50s housewife style book for women of the modern age. He found the passage adorable, and his finding it to be so pushed me on finding out more about the passage and where it came from. Along my endeavors, I came across some D/s and M/s oriented sites, as it's fairly common reading in our type of circles I think. At least it very is in the TIH realm. One thing lead to another discovery which lead to another discover. The entire time I had been updating my then-boyfriend about my findings. I don't remember him be especially keen on the idea but I was. We decided that we would try it. Before I moved in with him, I don't remember trying to be submissive at all. He says that He remembers, but I don't. When we did move in together...it was cataclysmic. I needed control. To be controlling, because I was scared, I was alone, and I needed to 'not fail at life'. There was a definite power struggle. It was beyond words huge. It was invariable the reason for every fight...and even though I wanted to be submissive I could not bring myself to calm down enough or trust Master enough to do so. In March of last year, I was put on anti-depressants after a terrible spill between us one day. A month or two after said time, I told Master I needed some time as just a regular loving couple to relax me, and He gave it to me. Since then...sometime around last July I think, we've had our ups and downs of D/s lifestyle. It's fluctuating, yes, but it's a growing process. We don't have to get there all at once. Sometimes it seems high protocol, and others we act like any other couple. We just take it one step at a time to find out what's right for US. And that's what I suggest. Some people try bringing it into the bedroom before they bring it into the rest of their lives. Some people only do it on the weekend. You also said you don't think he can be dominant...that sounds a lot like the old not-trusting-him person I was. You either need to be with him or against him, and right now you don't sound very for-him. You sound like you're just barely with him as it is and that you're almost looking for an excuse to get rid of him. Ie: If he can't meet my demands as a submissive, I'm out the door. I'm not saying this is the right or wrong way of thinking, I'm just telling you what I'm seeing. 18 Apr 10, 10:09 PM GreysGoodGirl US(FL), 2 yrs We have been married 18 years and I have been collared since Dec 2009. He was the one who suggested D/s, but what He suggested was more D/s in the bedroom than we had preciously done. He had always had Dominant leanings but avoided them as His mother had been murdered while He was in the next room when He was a small child. I suggested 24/7 D/s after a short time as being submissive to Him just makes me a nicer person overall. I am truly a different person and I honestly needed to be. I was not that horrible, but I am more easy going now. I have no advice except that if you are going to go to therapy to find a kink-friendly one. Our lives have changed completely and we have fallen in love all over again. We have many everyday stresses as all couples do, but our relationship is much stronger now. Wishing you the best. claudia Edited 18 Apr 10, 10:18 PM by GreysGoodGirl 19 Apr 10, 2:04 AM slave_of_The_Tesh US(FL), 2 yrs I... have no idea. It just happened. We talked about it a little while, tried it, liked it, kept it. We were always a little kinky, so it was a pretty easy progression for us - kinky sex, to M/s in the bedroom only, to slowly letting it creep into everything else. Considering your current marital circumstances, you may want to discuss your feelings and his readiness with HIM, not us. Bring it up to him (privately, not in front of your therapist) and have an open,honest discussion with him. If he's willing to at least talk about it, he may be willing to try it sooner or later. Don't try to force him into doing it, and start slow if/when you start. His Beloved Owned and loved by The_Tesh This post has probably been edited for spelling/grammar because I'm weird like that. 19 Apr 10, 4:09 AM concise US(CA), 2 yrs Hello, New to the boards so hello. First of all and I mean no disrespect but how do you know you are a slave? Have you tried this before with someone else? Now to answer the question at hand, it was not something we discussed as in hey want to be my slave but something that seemed to be the natural order for us. We were always discussing our somewhat kinky fantasies and when I would see him (we had a long distance relationship) we always engaged in bondage, humiliation and submission type of role play. After going through all types of heartache and stress based on poor decisions I had made and him not only being there to help me out of them but to support me and teach me how to avoid the same mistakes, we started exploring the "what if" of the M/s relationship. This worked so well for me and felt so natural that I gave myself to him and he accepted so we have been M/s for three years now and I am soon to become his collared slave. Sorry so long got excited about my first post! Best of luck to you! 20 Apr 10, 10:31 PM 375-295-503 UK, 2 yrs Hi 209, It is interesting that you identify as a slave first and foremost seemingly above that of being a wife. Reading your post, it seems to indicate that you have realised your submissive side after your marriage, or at least your desire to serve has become too strong for you to ignore. I wonder if you feel you could serve anyone who you feel could dominate you or whether you need to have a relationship with them? Does your husband realise just how important it is for you to have a dominant Master, and if he is unable to fulfil that role, could you continue to live in this relationship? If not, do you think you could find a Master with the traits you desire? These are questions you may need to ask yourself. As for myself, I am a slave. It is very important to me that I identify myself as such, but I am extremely fortunate that I have a good Master who I have total respect for and give my servitude willingly. Our dynamic is different from most, because I love Him passionately, but this is not reciprocated; although He does care for me. His lack of emotion for me makes Him a fair and just Master and I would never serve another. This relationship would not suit everyone and the fact that you are seeking help to sort out the difficulties within your relationship suggests that you think it is at least worth trying to save. Good, effective communication may well be the key for you to state how important your submissive side has become and encourage him to take the lead in small things first. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. 21 Apr 10, 6:24 PM lilslavegirl123 CA, 2 yrs I was introduced by my Master after we had been dating almost a year. I had always known he was dominant, but neither of us had been M/s before. He just asked me if I wanted to be His slave. I agreed immediately, despite knowing nothing about the lifestyle, because I knew the title fit me well. He sent me sites to look at, and we researched it together. And found a way to make it work for us. So I suppose my advice is to just bring it up directly. I wish you the best of luck 25 Apr 10, 5:04 PM 000-671-955 CA, 7 yrs Y! 375-295-503 wrote: Hi 209, It is interesting that you identify as a slave first and foremost seemingly above that of being a wife. Reading your post, it seems to indicate that you have realised your submissive side after your marriage, or at least your desire to serve has become too strong for you to ignore. I wonder if you feel you could serve anyone who you feel could dominate you or whether you need to have a relationship with them? Does your husband realise just how important it is for you to have a dominant Master, and if he is unable to fulfil that role, could you continue to live in this relationship? If not, do you think you could find a Master with the traits you desire? These are questions you may need to ask yourself. As for myself, I am a slave. It is very important to me that I identify myself as such, but I am extremely fortunate that I have a good Master who I have total respect for and give my servitude willingly. Our dynamic is different from most, because I love Him passionately, but this is not reciprocated; although He does care for me. His lack of emotion for me makes Him a fair and just Master and I would never serve another. This relationship would not suit everyone and the fact that you are seeking help to sort out the difficulties within your relationship suggests that you think it is at least worth trying to save. Good, effective communication may well be the key for you to state how important your submissive side has become and encourage him to take the lead in small things first. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. There have been many threads on whether you are born a slave or grow into one, is it genetics or a learned process, i believe it is a little of both. This Lifestyle is not for everyone, and even discussing it with people not of the understanding is difficult at most, that is why finding a suitable slave or Master is sometimes a long process. Master and i were friends, lovers, and eventually married, but during our times together there was that common feeling or thread weaving through whatever we did. Master did not throw us into the Lifestyle from the moment we met, but He took the time to see and test the waters if i was a good candidate for Him and what He had in mind for both of us. Communication and Education were the most important parts i felt that was needed to get to where we are today, along with Patience and Commitment again from myself and on Master's behalf. Personally i consider myself a wife and mother, but always bearing in mind Master's wishes and ideas that He has set our path on, and at times the position of wife and mother to slave switch. i guess what i am saying that living the 24/7 Lifestyle is difficult, but attaining the balance required for Master and slave for each relationship to make it work is something that is worth striving for. Master's "o" 671955 28 Apr 10, 7:04 PM HouseWench 3 yrs £ Master and I had been dating for a little more than two years, and he was off at college (having been able to afford to go after graduation), and I stayed in Chicago with his family. I was miserable, and despite having his family there (most of whom did not like me), I was completely alone. One day when I was talking to him on the phone, I told him about the aimlessness I was feeling, that empty longing desperation. I was trafficked as a child and my...keeper, while cruel, had always offered me guidance and help in other matters. This was my first introduction to pain, and I (not entirely willingly) enjoyed it. I told him I missed that guidance, that pain, and I needed someone to walk hand-in-hand with me into the things I cannot face. I asked him if he would let me be his pet, and if he would be my Master, and he agreed. http://HouseWench.tk 2 May 10, 7:10 PM Daddys_lil_kacey 2 yrs Well how did our D/s relationship begin? I knew that my boyfriend was into this lifestyle in previous relationships. I have always had Daddy/ daughter fantasies growing up, and he had no problem with me calling him that during sex. He never would formally come out and ask me to be his sub or slave, I guess mainly because he already had one on the side that I didn't know about. After some on again and off agains between him and me, I finally said its me or her. He said some bullshit as in I can't live without you! He also said that he was afraid to put me into the lifestyle, because I was such a strong minded woman, it would take a lot to train and "break" me into submission. Ever since we have signed the contract and collared me,we have not had anymore infidelity problems, and I'm the one begging him to take me deeper into BDSM. Our biggest problems now are me being a "brat", which is not a big surprise considering I have to be such a dominant woman in my professional life that it takes a spanking to make me remember who I answer to at home. 25 May 10, 12:49 AM 491-315-154 US(CA), 2 yrs Ours was started when we first dated, and He informed me that He was desiring a 24/7 TPE, and since I had already been looking for that it sort of fell into place. Next page