KinkPodcasts.com - podcasts about BDSM, Fetish and Kink    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Questions on slaves who ..." 1 2 Questions on slaves who ... (18) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 30 Apr 10, 11:16 PM Vidwan UK, 2 yrs I'm very new to this, and am currently with my first Master of three months, so I have only a little to offer this thread, other than my experience online of those who say they want to be totally dehumanized. My own impression of them is that, mostly, it is no more than fantasy, and if it was offered them, they'd soon run away fast. Others, I fear, have a very poor self-opinion, and have become victims of what life has thrown at them. As has been said above, it's something that couldn't be sustained for long, without it being very destructive. For some, it appears to be destruction that they seek. It certainly isn't anything to do with what I perceive as slavery in the context of anything that can be long-term of good for anyone. I suppose there are good and bad relationships in all walks of life, but to see out such negativity, for real, implies some serious mental problems, and I imagine that any good Master/Mistress would stay well away from it. 26 May 10, 9:49 PM 491-315-154 US(CA), 2 yrs I can only speak for me, yes I want to wear chains and such when I can, but I also need sunlight and stimula from my Master, and if those are not part of the enslavement then why be there. Of course, yes we serve, but as humans we all have needs. 27 May 10, 6:22 AM 298-912-006 AU, 2 yrs During my child hood I just to want to wear chokers and restrictive clothing. My mother is lovely, but had no fashion sense and neither did I, although I longed for it. After a few jobs I became fairly sucessfull as a real estate agent and property manager. But if not for company uniform I'd be lost. Relationships rarely lasted as they never gave me what I wanted. I met an agent who was also keen to start own business, but didn't know how but had some money, I had no-how. So we built a business, but home life was lonely and i was out of control when not at work. I also loved slave jewellry and was building up a collection of heavy bracelets and chokers, but more main stream. To cut long story short, my buisness partner and I had more things in common than real estate and he has been the anchor of my life. He is an experienced dom who had given up on finding a vanilla GF and just wanted someone to do his bidding and put out for sex. But he also knows how to dress a woman for any occasion, which ahs helped me both priately and professionally become more confident. 10 years later, we are happily married, our D/S relationship is 24/7. I wear a large SS heavy collar most of the time. Often even to work as it has been designed in a way to look mainstream as the collar is contoured around my neck and the ring is very large at 2.5" dia and lies again by chest, not hangs. the stainless plate is engraved with lost of slave pictures, but you can only tell up close. I get lots of questions and I just say I like slave jellewry and was a VERY expensive present. (Say a price and the D/S thoughts in their mind disappear.) I also have finger-wrist chains and cuff I wear to work. My uniform is a fashionable skirt suit with a high neck collar on side and back, so you only see part of it with my long hair. We love camping and I still wear same in tank top and cutoffs. What has my D/S done for me - Given me confidence - Improved my business, note its in my name and my husband/master is just a share minor holder. If we seperate its mine. - Taught me how to dress femine, wear breif bikini, (master prefers skir)t or dress only, although I'm usually told what to wear most days and my default uniform is nude or PVC catsuit. - Improve my diet and weight - Wear high heels - Given my home life direction, warmth and discipline. - Greatly improved my sex life, master wants sex daily, but I enjoy having sexmost of the time and want it. Some people when they find out think I'm a victim of domestic violence or contrlling husband. But once they get to know us they see its geniune love, not tolerence on my part and his control is care. I know some of my friends are jealous of his public affection. Yes he gives me orders on what he wants, but its yes sir not 24/7, he listens and asks my opion. My breast enlargement was my choice but his suggestion. I choose the size of G thinking he would love the huge size and he suggested F as this was the upper size he thought for my body then had be trial this for a month, not dictated. He suggested a tatoo for my lower back as a symbol of our relationship and I agreed to designed it. I think parts of our life have fallen naturally into D/S, but other parts are self controlled. He still has his fun watching me do my chores in chains etc. As I don't have to pick my warddrobe, I love waking to find whats the trend today, casual, sexy, smart etc. Also often the challenge of how am I'm going to do that wearing this? The days when he chooses topless or naked are often the most fun. Our scenes with paddles, canes and whips are also a regular part of our life as well. What I think he gets out of our lifestyle - Dedciation - sex, sex, sex, sex, anywhere - Geniune affection and respect - Someone with a brain who can communicate on his level - Common interests. He has often told me our relationship is more vanilla than he thought he could handle. If I decided to give up work I could be more of a slave for him. But working normally 6 days a week limits how much of me I can submitt. My one piece of jellewry that sees irregular use because of work is my nose to earing chains. Although one Sun I went to work with it on and one of my staff turned up to get wallet and while used to my regular jellewry thought this was a bit much. 27 May 10, 9:36 PM 491-315-154 US(CA), 2 yrs I understand all to well about your dilemma on how people think about your relationship. Some have expressed to me openly that I am debasing my self because I am a slave. How is it debasing when it is something you long for? 29 May 10, 4:22 AM 298-912-006 AU, 2 yrs 491-315-154 wrote: I understand all to well about your dilemma on how people think about your relationship. Some have expressed to me openly that I am debasing my self because I am a slave. How is it debasing when it is something you long for? I think this thinking from say wives who are bashed by their husbands living in denial. ie he loves me, he doesn't mean it etc etc. For me its what I wanted and the day I say no master will stop. We have done that on occasion, usually its our relationship going through a rough patch, I'm not well or other issues in my life that are a greater priority. On some of these occasions I have taken my collar and other jewellry off to indicate I'm "off line", other times I have just asked for a time out. My master in these occasions does not question this and has never asked when we return to D/S. In these cases when I'm ready I approach master and we have a little "re-collaring" ceremony. To me this is the difference, but the people who know us and know us well (not many inlcuding parents) all agree that my husband is madly in love with me and is only controlling of what I want him control. My mum even asked to try my collar for a day once, just to see what it was like when dad was away, not sure whats happened later haha. 25 Jun 10, 3:48 AM 158-116-971 US(TX), 2 yrs There are different kinds of slaves out there. Some want a little freedom and yet kept in total control of their master, and some slaves want to give up their total freedom to the outsideworld to be kept as a slave that their masters will take total control including humilitation and brutal abuse, it's what where looking for and what makes us happy and secure. I personally have answered some ads and yet the masters say they don't want bs from anyone and yet, some have twisted minds and don't know what they want, some of you are still in fantasizeland, just like you when I answered yours. 30 Jun 10, 6:51 AM Haltehk UK, 2 yrs I really don't want to criticise anybody's lifestyle choices. However, while some people may say that it's psychological, or even because making even the most simple decision is an actual challenge for some people so turning over control would simplify thier lives, I think with some cases it's either lack of knowledge or understanding in what they're decribing or sheer laziness. I'm not saying that this is in all or even most cases, in fact I think the numbers speak in favout of the more well informed subs, however I believe that the small fringe group exists and can pose a severe danger to themselves and others. (We all know, not everyone who reads an adverisment is a nice person.) 13 Jul 10, 10:22 PM valhalla 23 mths Sir Tim I briefly mentioned your post here in one of mine last week. I have given some thought to your question, to the giving up of control and the dehumanization you reference. Growing up I remember wanting what all young girls want. A prince charming and a house and babies. We never thought about personal fulfillment, equal rights, breaking any glass ceilings. We wanted what felt natural. As a teenager and woman approaching the mating and baby making years, I remember feeling resentment at what society was telling me I should want. Whenever I mentioned I wanted to be married and have babies and make a nice house, I received criticism at best and derision at worst. I learned to be quiet about my desires. I had learned that to want those things meant I was a backwards unenlightened female. I just could not agree with that in my Spirit though. I married and started making babies. I was thrilled. My husband became mentally ill and all of a sudden I was thrust into the Alpha status in my family. Not only was I not prepared for that, I was terrified. I had no concept of how to stand against the world to provide for, protect or manage a growing family. The stress as Alpha was almost unendurable to me. I suffered all kinds of difficulties, eating, sleeping, health issues, all manifested some marked degree of dysfunction at my having to take a role I was not prepared for and never wanted. My entire second decade of life was an exercise in panic and chaos. I still can't believe I managed to drag my ass and family through it. I so much wanted the responsibility of the choices and decisions of the entire family off of my shoulders alone I took first available relief. During those years I had no man to take the lead and decision making responsibility for the family and any issues that faced it. I had no one to rely on but myself and any advice offered by well meaning friends. Truly I was a woman operating completely and entirely against her natural Spirit and abilities. So I married a second time 3/4s of the way through it. I was so unstable from the stress of the first few years, I accepted a very wrong partner for my needs. Over the next two decades, things settled out a little because I learned that 90% of the things you worry about, don't happen. I learned how to provide for my family. I learned how to guide my children through the years. It is no easy feat raising sons (2) in a manless household. I thought , what kind of man did I want and then tried to raise them to be just such a man. I think I did well. Time is proving I did not fail in that regard. Never though, did I ever feel I was completely on the mark. I always fretted I was not making the right decisions. And I never ever stopped wanting to return to the way I believed I was created to live. As a sub to a man.A helpmate and not the head. A support and not the main. Now that my kids are on their own I have been allowed by circumstances to try to return to the way I was created to live. So I find myself actively seeking out the only way that seems right and true in this world. If it could be had out there (real life) I wouldn't be here. It is not prevalent out there at all. Men are being emasculated by society, women are given a place they were not meant to hold. Only in this way of life, can I feel and know that things are as they were always intended to be. If I give up, turn over or relinquish control over all things v, it is with the belief, hope, desire and understanding, He who I give it to deserves such an honor and place in my life. I have no fear or hesitation in this desire. I am only saddened I did not know of this many years sooner. I could have saved myself and my family much trouble and pain. The thought of having a Dom/Master take over the reigns of my life gives me such a sense of relief,such a sense of safe and secure boundaries it is almost beyond words. Maybe one day I will blessed to find such a man, a Dom/Master who can restore me to my rightful place. As to the dehumanizing you mention, I can not relate to that at all. Perhaps when they were growing, they found themselves the center of unwanted attention, abuse or violence, the object of intense scrutiny and only the dehumanizing of their "selves" can return them to a place of safety. I think it sad if this is the case, as I do not believe humans in and of themselves are born with a need to exist in a "non existing" state, as those who desire dehumanization seem to want or need. My "personal" belief holds, that I and all others have been given gifts, talents, skills by the Creator. To not acknowledge them as a human woman sub named v, would make me feel as if I scorned these very gifts. To be made as if a piece of furniture seems like the ultimate insult to my Creator. These are "my" beliefs. I cast no judgment on any other. I can no more decide for them what is right and true for their Spirits than they can for mine. Thank you for asking a question that caused me to look within myself..................v ** I originally addressed this post to Sir Tim. After posting it and reading it I thought I had addressed it incorrectly and changed to whom I directed this. Yes, hard to believe, v confuses herself (lol). This morning I read it again and saw that I had been right the first time. v needs to trust herself more. And drink less coffee. (lol) My apologies to Sir Tim, for not remembering well enough, not trusting myself enough in who I was posting to....v Edited 14 Jul 10, 2:43 PM by valhalla