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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "asking a slave to be yours.. protocol?" asking a slave to be yours.. protocol? (9) This post is on the O&P web board. Fri 2 Apr 10, 7:32 PM Syrox73 UK, 2 yrs Y! One thing i have noticed over the course of reading all I can find about the whole D/s O&P relationship is that there seems to be little concerning the correct way of asking a slave to join you. This leads me to wonder if there is a correct way to do it. sounds like a no-brainer but i was thinking as slaves or subs are slaves or subs, is it something you gently order them into or do you let things just happen? There is probably no definite answer to this but perhaps by hearing some of your experiences from both slaves and masters I can get a general feeling of how to go about my own predicament. 3 Apr 10, 2:33 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs Just like any other relationship, it is good to get to know the person first. Are you compatible, do you have similar likes and interests. Do you have the same values? Yup, pretty much like everyday life. Meet in a public place and go from there. Talk and discuss what you both expect, need and want. Find out limits, really communicate with each other, build some trust. You really should come to an agreement before ordering a sub or slave to do anything. Until you have an agreement, you have no right to order any s type to do anything. Most s types are submissive to the one they belong to and no one else. You may want to look up your local groups and find some munches to go to. Meet some other D types and get some advice and mentoring. Good luck to you. 333-528-841 Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, Remember that what you now have, was once among the things you only hoped for. ~Epicurus~ (greek philosopher, BC 341-270) 3 Apr 10, 4:56 AM Umbramajoris_01 US(AL), 2 yrs Y! Phoenixx73, I have always started an approach as if I wanted to date someone. Conversation, communication, and a genuine interest between the people involved. Time, Place, People, and Trust. (If all of these fall into place, then you will have something very special. HAVE PATIENCE, and lots of it!) I agree with 333-528-841 in her explanation, and advice. Good luck in your search. Umbramajoris 4 Apr 10, 3:41 PM petitchat UK, 2 yrs I think the best thing is to date someone... then go from there... I think most submissive boys and girls are unlikely to submit to someone before they really get to know them x 4 Apr 10, 4:01 PM 000-671-955 CA, 7 yrs Y! Phoenixx73 wrote: asking a slave to be yours.. protocol? One thing i have noticed over the course of reading all I can find about the whole D/s O&P relationship is that there seems to be little concerning the correct way of asking a slave to join you. This leads me to wonder if there is a correct way to do it. sounds like a no-brainer but i was thinking as slaves or subs are slaves or subs, is it something you gently order them into or do you let things just happen? There is probably no definite answer to this but perhaps by hearing some of your experiences from both slaves and masters I can get a general feeling of how to go about my own predicament. You can go to munches and parties, and hopefully meet someone that will work out in the relationship Lifestyle that you are searching for, or if you are lucky enough you can be with someone who shares your goals and ideas by growing together through dating and marriage. i was fortunate to have dated Master which led to us getting married, and during our relationship, He introduced me to the M/s Lifestyle. Master was patient and didn't step into the Lifestyle immediately, but worked and patiently showed how i was actually submissive inside, and how wonderful all that the Lifestyle would carry us in what we were each looking for if we stayed together. Trust was the biggest factor for me, and loyalty was the dominant key for Master, we both had love for each other, so the pieces needed for the Journey fell into place. i believe that slaves that know their Master's before they are slaves build a strong bond, and being married to your Master makes the progression that much easier. i wish you and all the others on this path the best and hope that they are as happy as i am with my Master. Master's "o" 671955 4 Apr 10, 4:56 PM slave_emma US(OK), 6 yrs Y! As far as who asks who, I think it depends on the couple. But like anything in life taking ownership of someone is a huge undertaking for both the slave and the Master/Mistress. I've had ownership go both ways for me. When I was with my former Master, he prompted me to be his and with my current Master I asked to be his. Best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 3 May 10, 3:12 AM nequam AU, 6 yrs Gotta say, ordering someone into a relationship - no matter how gentle - is a seriously bad idea, not to mention goes against the whole grain of what BDSM is all about. There are levels of collar if you want to work up through those. Protection, Consideration, Training and owned. You can start pretty much anywhere along there you like, but i would strongly suggest, when the time comes to make a decision, it be a mutual one that you both want. Discuss what you both expect to get out of the situation, what you can give to each other. When everything is said and done, you offer your collar to the person and it is up to them to accept or not, but by the time you get to this point, the outcome is usually accept. All submissives and slaves are free agents until they agree to accept your collar, so you gotta ask them. owned property of Sir Trisk Being your slave what should I do but tend Upon the hours, and times of your desire? Sonnet 57 - William Shakespeare 3 May 10, 11:54 PM Phoenix002 UK, 2 yrs Y! Not being in a relationship at present, I must confess that I would be extremely reticent initating contact with a special lady, however, why should she take any interest in me? I suppose it's a question of the chicken & the egg. 5 May 10, 10:11 AM Phoenix002 UK, 2 yrs Y! Perhaps if an introduction is made through the personal ads of a site such as this, a lot of the spadework has been done. No beating around the bush (pardon the pun) of wondering how to broach the question. Both parties have a thumbnail sketch of the needs of the other, at least one of them has anyway?! Even so, much time has to be devoted to discovering the beauty of each others' multifaceted personality. Choose a sub or dom in haste, repent at leisure. The relationship between Mistress/Master & slave has to be based on love, respect & understanding, or, it means nothing, rendering it pointless. It is said that opposites attract, be excited about a new relationship, let it simmer for a while....Then bring to the boil! 5 May 10, 1:15 PM nequam AU, 6 yrs Phoenix002 wrote: Not being in a relationship at present, I must confess that I would be extremely reticent initating contact with a special lady, however, why should she take any interest in me? I suppose it's a question of the chicken & the egg. Why should she take an interest in you? Because of what you have to offer and how that fits with who she is and what she has to offer you. owned property of Sir Trisk Being your slave what should I do but tend Upon the hours, and times of your desire? Sonnet 57 - William Shakespeare