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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "How One Discovers their Role?" 1 2 3 How One Discovers their Role? (23) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 28 Mar 10, 11:54 AM 562-470-768 2 yrs /me greets altogether, although this girl has her pesonal experience as she related, she does think, in the bigger picture of humanity, we are all both top and bottom at some point in our lives ... as there will always be someone 'weaker' and someone 'stronger' than ourselves. this is, for this girl, a VERY wide net though that pertains to all parts of our lives, rather than just relationship. We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 28 Mar 10, 3:49 PM Sartorius UK, 2 yrs Everyone comes to it differently, of course. For me, the Master within me has always been there. But it took years for it to emerge into full realisation. I can remember being about 10 years old and seeing a tacky book cover of a woman chained to a wall and not fully understanding why I found it exciting. Personally I've always felt in full control of my life and quite comfortable with that. The process of 'becoming' a master was more about honestly recognising that it was my path, and choosing to follow it. http://midnightchamber93.blogspot.com/?zx=db2482... 28 Mar 10, 9:21 PM Master_OMalley US(CA), 2 yrs Y! His_lyra wrote: I'm not entirely sure which box I fit but..... I was raised to be independent and free-thinking; to take care of myself and to help others. I can be quite outspoken, stubborn and willful.... I prefer to do things for myself and absolutely hate to fail at ANYTHING. With Master.... We started as vanilla. He is very charismatic and has a strong sense of self; He has always been the calming influence in my life. When we made the choice to alter the dynamic of our relationship, it felt natural and right for me to serve Him. And while I am stubborn and independent at work, and around my family and friends, I feel no need to be like this with Master. It's almost like a release, if that makes any sense. lyra it makes a lot of sense. Thank you for this post. I didn't expect this thread to go so well. 28 Mar 10, 9:29 PM Master_OMalley US(CA), 2 yrs Y! All of these posts are great and very insightful. Thank you all for posting here. 28 Mar 10, 9:33 PM RogueAngel NL, 3 yrs Y! This slave offered herself to her Master. she has always had to be strong, and capable and independent, despite it being a state she has never been entirely comfortable with. she looked after her disabled sister and kept her older brother out of harm's way when his mouth guided him into the heart of it. she brought up her baby sister when her mother failed to cope. she had to learn to fix electronics, electrics, plumbing and cars when she was left alone to fend for herself, with 2 young children. she is mentally very strong, but emotionally and physically weaker. she does not allow this to stop her however. When her Master came to her, she knew that although He had already chosen her, He would not ask for her, the decision was hers. He patiently waited as she soul-searched (this slave may be a slave at heart, but she had never fully given over control to anyone!), and gave her time to come to the conclusion that He was her Master. And once she had, and had offered herself to Him (and thankfully been accepted ). He gave her more than anyone ever has. 430-492-113 Property of Kevin Gill. 29 Mar 10, 1:30 AM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs I agree with those who've said there are just too many personality characteristics to create any sort of meaningful profile but even more than that, I don't think it needs to matter. My own relationship came about because both of us, although our situations were very different, found ourselves at a stage in our lives where we had the means and the opportunity to start "new". It's been easy in some part due to respective characteristics that lend themselves, but its success is much more a question of self-discipline, conscious choice and a shared goal - basically the same as any other successful project, relationship or even career. It's in the same way that probably only half of the population are early risers by nature, but that doesn't make them the only ones who get what they want from life - the rest of us just buy alarm clocks. Eva (The property formerly known as Camille ) 29 Mar 10, 4:27 AM Master_OMalley US(CA), 2 yrs Y! EvaMaria wrote: I agree with those who've said there are just too many personality characteristics to create any sort of meaningful profile but even more than that, I don't think it needs to matter. My own relationship came about because both of us, although our situations were very different, found ourselves at a stage in our lives where we had the means and the opportunity to start "new". It's been easy in some part due to respective characteristics that lend themselves, but its success is much more a question of self-discipline, conscious choice and a shared goal - basically the same as any other successful project, relationship or even career. It's in the same way that probably only half of the population are early risers by nature, but that doesn't make them the only ones who get what they want from life - the rest of us just buy alarm clocks. Eva And lots of Coffee... 29 Mar 10, 4:29 AM Footcandle US(AZ), 2 yrs I am quite certain that my situation is not unique but I have to say it was moste certainly liberating and changed my life for the better. I was raised in a household where the man was the head of the house. My mother although a professional took care of the chores, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. I naturally learned these things and grew up believing men took care of the heavy work and protection and women took care of their men and the family. I have practiced these beliefs in life and much to my diress in relationships my role was considered wierd. Equality, womens rights, these things in society seemed to keep me from being able to take on the natural role that made me comfortable and happy. I like having a meal on the table and the house taken care of. Until I met my master these things seemed to be taken for granted. I thankfully now am in the position to have these things expected. I am educated and have a professional life however, my place as a submissive who truly takes care of every need my master has. I can think forward and anticipate his needs and desires. He wakes up to, and comes home to his every desire to be met. I am in no way perfect however, I can take the pleasure in truly taking care of my man and have the pleasure of finally doing these things with acceptance. My goal everyday is to serve and I am grateful to have a man who not only expects it but loves being taken care of. 29 Mar 10, 5:21 AM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs His_lyra wrote: I'm not entirely sure which box I fit but..... I was raised to be independent and free-thinking; to take care of myself and to help others. I can be quite outspoken, stubborn and willful.... I prefer to do things for myself and absolutely hate to fail at ANYTHING. With Master.... We started as vanilla. He is very charismatic and has a strong sense of self; He has always been the calming influence in my life. When we made the choice to alter the dynamic of our relationship, it felt natural and right for me to serve Him. And while I am stubborn and independent at work, and around my family and friends, I feel no need to be like this with Master. It's almost like a release, if that makes any sense. lyra I can so relate to this Lyra... me too!!!! I never fit in any box society has tried to stuff me in, I just created my own... carved out new territory so to speak. I would add head stong to your list and picky perfectionist. Now I am just a picky perfectionist slave. (I can see Master Joseph reading this post and rolling his eyes... saying under his breath... don't I know it). I guess our relationship works because Master is the calm and I am the storm. When things get completely out of control, he is able to pull both my feet back to earth and ground me in a way I have never experienced before. As much as this new way of being is taking some getting used to, I would not go back. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair Edited 29 Mar 10, 3:23 PM by pet_ka_MJ 29 Mar 10, 6:28 AM 211-886-865 US(NJ), 2 yrs Y! Salutations ^ ^ Finding my own role was quite by accident actually. Before I found myself being submissive, I was very dominant, but I was certainly not content at being such. I am a type that does not handle decision making well at all, but was forced to make nearly all of them, not only for myself but for others a lot of the time as well. Circumstances of a rather incomplete home life I think. But aside from that, it happened very much by chance, more so during a more sexual interaction with a man. He insisted upon taking control, and while at first this idea startled me, I eventually did allow it, and in the end I was very pleased. Over time, I found myself drawn to people who were like this sexually, because of how calming it was. Again thanks to fate I found a man who not only took control in bed, but slowly began taking my control away from me in my normal life. It leveled me so to speak. Slowly, I began to learn that not everything needed to be my decision, and in fact, when it wasn't my decision I was much happier. I have been practicing 24-7 submission for around two years, but it was off and on as Masters struggled to decide if we "clicked". Then I found Mistress and couldn't be happier. So, I suppose in a way that does somewhat relate to your theory, as I used to make a lot of decisions before realizing how much I preferred to be submissive. I think, to add on to your theory, it might be interesting for people who have always been submissive..to attempt being dominant at least once in their lives. After all, you may think you like something only because you have nothing to compare it to. If you found people who attempted both roles, and then reported back to you, then you might be able to actually generalize some sort of theory. All the same, it was interesting to read your ideas, as well as all these wonderful responses. Thank you Sir ^_^ 211-886-865 /| /| (0 0)/ "Mew" (")(") Love from Kitten Edited 29 Mar 10, 6:39 AM by 211-886-865 Next page