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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Rewards" Rewards (8) This post is on the O&P web board. Sat 27 Mar 10, 1:24 PM 562-470-768 2 yrs this girl has been watching and participating in many threads regarding punishments. she's also then thought today "why so much emphasis on punishments?" to this effect she thought to start a thread on 'rewards'. although the honor of being allowed to serve Master is a reward in itself, she wonders how many others benefit from the possitive re-inforcment rather than the punishments? this girl is one of those, and she is fortuanate to have Master, who does not subscribe to giving negative attention. he'd rahter give none at all. please don't misunderstand - this girl knows that punishment is a needed part of re-adjusting reactions to events. for this girl though, the threat of being punished is much larger than the actual punishment in itself... and she's wondered why this is... after giving it some thought, and hving an open discussion with Master about this, she came to the conclusion that it is because she strives to please. Master has various ways to enjoy this girl's servitude and within that, reward her greatly by allowing it. such things then would include: her silver eating bowl. this girl does not need reminding that she is slave nor that she is to follow instructions. she does not care much for the 'good girl' pat on the head or back - she does enjoy that she gets to eat out of her silver bowl, thus pleasing Master and taking pride that he is pleased with her service. her leash. Master has clipped her leash to her collar (which she wears 24/7). the leash for this girl reminds her that she has 'freedom within her chains'. the leash hang between her breasts, right down to her tasty bits. it allows Master's access to it at any given time (as girl is mostly naked) and again it brings feelings of pride that she is worthy of being collared and leashed by Master's standards. SHOULD she mess up, the leash will go. that is not an option for this girl. her creativity. this girl writes erotic stories. these are to be presented to Master first for scrutiny. only once he approves and is pleased, does she get to publish them. there is pride for her in this service to Master, as each item published carries his approval, she knows she's served him well and he is still pleased. service allowance. girl is allowed to offer herself to Master, any time and everytime she sees him. he may take up on her offer or he may not. her pride comes into consideration that she is ALLOWED to do this. she knows that the day he may tell her that she is not allowed to offer, she has failed him in her service. these are but a few things that this girl litterally lives for. she adhere to Master's rules and obeys his commands and very rarely recieves punishment because the 'rewards' as such, is much MUCH more worth to her. so, what this girl is asking:: what are the rewards Owners give and slaves enjoy on a regular basis that may prevent you from heading off the railings to recieve attention? We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 27 Mar 10, 4:21 PM Sir_Aldric 5 yrs 562-470-768 wrote: Rewards for this girl though, the threat of being punished is much larger than the actual punishment in itself... and she's wondered why this is... after giving it some thought, and hving an open discussion with Master about this, she came to the conclusion that it is because she strives to please. Let me start by saying that your thread and what you wrote made a lot of sense to me; you expressed yourself nicely here. Many might have a different view on punishments & rewards so underneath I can only give my very personal opinion in this matter: in general I have doubts about the effect of punishment. I know some slaves like to be punished and stretch the limits to get it. As a Master I'm not willing to go along with that since it reduces a Master to a puppet on a string of the slave; not the Master but the slaves determines what happens, which is the wrong path to follow in M/s to my opinion. On the other hand, if a slave dislikes punishment and tries hard to avoid it, why punish her anyway? A Master has to take care that punishment doesn't turn into some sort of over-compensation for the fact that he might not have anticipated certain situations correctly himself. So according to my humble opinion there is only one punishment: Master is displeased. Telling that or showing that should be the hardest (mental) punishment for a slave. The only reward by the same token: Master is pleased. For both goes that a simple word, phrase, facial expressing or body language in general should be enough. In fact, if that is not enough, a Master should start thinking about what is wrong and why more severe punishment (or reward) is needed to uphold discipline and/or the relation. Again, I know many think different (which I highly respect); I'm reflecting my personal views here. I hope to helps, SA Relax, life is too short to get upset. 27 Mar 10, 7:48 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs Sir_Aldric wrote: So according to my humble opinion there is only one punishment: Master is displeased. Telling that or showing that should be the hardest (mental) punishment for a slave. The only reward by the same token: Master is pleased. For both goes that a simple word, phrase, facial expressing or body language in general should be enough. In fact, if that is not enough, a Master should start thinking about what is wrong and why more severe punishment (or reward) is needed to uphold discipline and/or the relation. I could not have explained our situation more perfectly. Master and I live a fairly vanilla lifestyle, and we both have very busy lives at that. I serve and obey, and when I don't he is displeased and I know it. I feel it. I am not denied anything I need, and most of (almost all of) my wants are taken care of as well. I must ask for permission/everything and if it is convenient and practical I am permitted/given it. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair 28 Mar 10, 6:15 AM random_delirium US(WI), 7 yrs Y! Speaking from personal experience only, the best reward for me is knowing i have pleased my Owner. Although i may need to be reminded, with as simple as an offhanded comment of 'Good job,' on occasion - i know this is the best reward i could receive. However, knowing i have displeased my Owner is the worst punishment i could receive. Just that look in Their eyes... It makes me feel lower than anything, and drives me to do better. i am not perfect, and will never be... But i want to constantly learn and improve, so that i do well. Physical punishments, at least for me, can be used as reminders - say i'm not severely misbehaving, but i have failed to complete a task to the fullest standards. Let's say i was not to curse anymore, and one slipped - the nodding reminder of having to wear a gag for a period of time is enough to tell me - 'While you're not disappointing Me, you are not doing your best.' A warning, as so. So doing well, and knowing that i am pleasing my Owner... Is the most rewarding reward one could hope for! -kat 28 Mar 10, 12:35 PM 562-470-768 2 yrs /me smiles, this girl greets you and thanks you for your input. she thinks that perhaps there is a very deep feeling of 'Master is pleased' as a reward. she does however, in a very honest manner and not maliciously, think that as a matter of human nature, we do require the re-inforcements. to her, these comes in the things she's mentioned above. Master WANTS her to eat from the shiny bowl, this pleases him. he does not WANT her to eat from the red bowl, it displease him. therefore the shiny bowl is a reward (re-inforcement) (and similar vain for the rest) this girl would imagine, that if there was no outwardly 'reward' as such, how would you know if your Owner is pleased with you? as another post indicated - the slave was pleasing to his master whether he did or did not do the chores. yet he did not FEEL connected. what things help you FEEL connected to in service to your Owner. which things is a clear and presice indicator that you ARE pleasing your Owner and thus still on the right path? this girl is very strong, she knows herself very well. her head is in the clouds but her feet firmly on the ground. she struggles to fathom though, how you can say "Owner is pleased, thus this slave is rewarded". as human nature predicts, we are emotional beings, thus that 'feeling' of 'owner is pleased' must come from somewhere, must be re-inforced somehow. as the previous poster said the occasional "good work" is a nice re-inforcement... (which this girl cannot relate to. for her, that can be an automated response like saying 'hmmm' when someone is talking and you are bored out of your scull but has to be polite about it.- personal thing!) this girl wonders though, if for many, the indicators are only when slave is NOT pleasing, thus they are punished. **this seems to lead to a few habits which at some point becomes a problem. (negative attention)** so in direct relation then, no punishments means that Owner is pleased? so with that in mind, she asks her question slightly differently. "which ways are you informed of your Owner's satisfaction. and for the Owner's, in which ways do you re-inforce you being pleased with your slave." We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 29 Mar 10, 12:19 AM fireflies US(TX), 4 yrs As an owned slave, my personal rewards, are the looks of satisfaction on my Master's face while He is using me for His own pleasure. That content look just after He cums, is what i live for each day. It is also the complement that what i fixed Him for dinner tasted good, makes me happy inside. At night, the fact that He falls asleep with me rubbing/scratching His back after He fucked me, lets me fall asleep with a smile on my face. These are all BIG rewards for me and bring me inner peace as His owned slave Yes, the sting of His crop or whip as a punishment keeps me on my toes, but as long as i perform my duties up to His expectation i am rarely punished anymore. But i am also sometimes rewarded with a "That was a great fuck!", which makes me smile. From time to time, even if i have done nothing wrong, i may receive punishment to remind me of my place and what is expected of me. This combination of pain and reward seems to work well for us. my Master is Happy that He has an obedient slave and that His balls are always drained, and i am happy being used as His slave!!! i am my Master's tattooed and pierced slave. i am His, He owns ALL of me, i do everything i can everyday to please and make Him happy. 29 Mar 10, 1:03 AM Kay_kay US(NY), 3 yrs i have to agree with the OP that there does seem to be a lot of focus on punishment to keep a sub/slave/pet/insert appropriate title here in line. i do understand that gaining a Master's approval is reward but does it have to be reward enough? Maybe i'm misunderstanding but i am begining to get the impression that there is a general belief that a Master/Mistress that gives their pet physical rewards or gifts or somethign that is for the sub not the Dom/me's explicit pleasure is a weak Master/Mistress. It is just a vague feeling but it is growing that it seems as if the attitude is that the slave should be happy with whatever the slave is handed. Why? The slave works hard to please and care for the Master/Mistress. Shouldn't the Master/Mistress be expected to work hard to live up to the responsibility of training and taking care of their property both physically and mentally/emotionally? Does rewarding/spoiling a sub indicate a weak Dom/me or does havign to use punishment to keep the sub in their place indicate a sign of weakness or is it all just a matter of personal taste? i'm sorry if i offend anyone but D/s is not a one way street, you can not expect everything from a person and give nothing in return and expect it to work that way for any real length of time, even if what is given is not understood by others, something beneficial must be given. 29 Mar 10, 2:07 AM mutable 2 yrs I am not, nor have ever been owned. However, I do know that postive reinforcement is what works for me. If an owner (dom/master etc) can 'wield his magic' in this way, I am much more likely to capitulate sensibly. I don't mean that this way is easier or open to manipulation, just that I find it more thoughtful and effective in the long run. I find it inspires much more respect when done correctly. Caveat : Non offensive and always learning. 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are' Anais Nin 29 Mar 10, 2:42 AM fireflies US(TX), 4 yrs i see your point and i probably did not articulate myself properly above. While i am my Master's slave, i am also his wife and we have children. That said, my Master/Husband has provided a nice life for our family and He provides for my comfort as well. Over the years He has always helped me with the daily helter-skelter, which raising a family with kids requires. Besides being a wonderful Husband and Dad, He takes great care of me! As an example of His generosity, He bought me a Cartier "love bracelet", which you can see in my profile. He gave it to me out of the blue, because He loves me and the fact that it screws on my wrist with a special tool and can not easily be taken off. (Sort of like a 'nilla "slave bracelet") As our M/s roles became defined over the years, i have been rewarded probably more than most wives/partners/slaves! Even though i am His slave, He "takes good care of my needs" and i, by becoming His slave, make sure that i take care of all of His physical and sexual wants and desires. my punishment and training is a side "benefit" of our Master/slave relationship! It keeps me focused on what is important in His and our lives. Like my tagline states below, i DO try every day to please and make my Master/Husband happy and keep His balls well drained. i do this as i am a lucky slave and i know it! i am my Master's tattooed and pierced slave. i am His, He owns ALL of me, i do everything i can everyday to please and make Him happy.