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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Opening up in D/s" Opening up in D/s (6) This post is on the O&P web board. Fri 26 Mar 10, 9:44 AM 470-772-848 UK, 4 yrs Since Master and I parted we have had some of the best talks that we have ever had in the 3.5 years we have been together. I have opened up to him more but more importantly he has opened up to me. He has told me things that he would never have told me if we had stayed together. In his eyes now he thinks this makes us more equal, he thinks that a Master should never reveal his true feeling to his sub for fear that this makes him less of a Master. Now I know subs are always meant to tell their Owners everything, this helps the Owner to get to know them and helps the sub to overcome things in their lives. This ultimately makes the sub a stronger person, this is certainly the case with me. My thinking is that the same could work the other way, I have always had a lot of love and respect for Him, I trust him implicitly with my life, this is not an honour I have ever given any other man before. Since these talks occurred, my respect for him has increased, I feel honoured that he feels he can be so candid with me and my trust in him has increased because he feels he can trust me to tell me the things he has. I am interested to know how other subs feel about their Owners being open to them. I am also interested to hear how Owners/Dominants feel about opening up. If you don't want others to read your replies then feel free to memo me. Thank you all jxx 26 Mar 10, 11:36 AM mamabear NL, 2 yrs Oh goodness, the whole basis of our relationship is that we open up to each other. I certainly don't see Him as less of a Master because of it, actually I see Him as more of one. To me letting me in, allows me serve Him better and I'm speaking from an emotional stance, not physical. Right now His Mother is battling cancer and unfortunately it has gotten to the point where she's giving up. Last night He told me how helpless He felt about the situation. He's taking me to His parents till His brother arrives next week. I'm in a new country where I really don't have a grasp on the language yet. Him telling me how helpless it made Him feel, gave me the extra strength to be able to do this..I'm not required to...He asked. I have had 2 visits with His parents since I got here and they only know a little English so this is not comfortable for me. But knowing that I can at least be there when He can't (because of work) will give Him some peace of mind. That peace of mind makes me feel like I am serving Him in a far deeper way than physical. We do honestly see each other as partners, in fact, planning to marry...He wouldn't have it any other way and I don't think this makes me any less submissive. Quite honestly, out of all the relationships I've had (vanilla or not) this one has been the most open and honest one and it has made a world of difference to me. Edited 26 Mar 10, 12:01 PM by mamabear 26 Mar 10, 11:56 AM 842-520-015 US, 4 yrs Y! This one has to agree with the other posts, being completely open and honest will strengthen the bond that the two of you have. jxx, whether you are together or not it sounds as though you will have a friendship that will last a lifetime. Good luck to you both. And mamabear what you are doing is very commendable and it will help your Master ease his mind knowing that you are there when he can't be. Well wishes to you both aymelek 26 Mar 10, 11:56 AM 562-470-768 2 yrs this girl greest you, and agrees with the poster mamabear. communication is key, and if one person is trying to communicate, and the other is holding back because of his own fears/worries/perceptions ... well *smiles* that is not healthy to begin with. this girl often explains it some when they talk about communication - "why would you call on the telephone to speak to yourself?" that is what this girl imagine one way communication to be like. Master is no more or lesser a man because he is direct, honest and straight with this girl without eggshell hopping. girl on the other hand, is better for it as she (like stated above) understands and can serve better. as for girl being honest and open with Master - it makes her no more or less a slave to him, but again, he knows how and when to encourage her to serve him better because of it. all in all, she is happy that you both learned to speak openly. she hopes you both learned from this. x x x We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 26 Mar 10, 3:31 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs 470-772-848 wrote: In his eyes now he thinks this makes us more equal, he thinks that a Master should never reveal his true feeling to his sub for fear that this makes him less of a Master. B.S. A Master can open up to his slave at any time, and should never feel less of a Master. If he feels that his slave knowing things about him makes his slave hold any control over him, is he really a Master to begin with? I am interested to know how other subs feel about their Owners being open to them. This slave isn't naturally an "open" person. If she talks about herself, she wants something in exchange. She doesn't have to have it, and her Master doesn't have to give it, but it helps her continue to talk. Just like when giving advice, if the advice-giver can relate it makes the person taking the advice feel better (just an example). This slave's Master has told her quite a few things, and he trusts her with those things. It makes her feel better as a slave, and as his, that he can trust her. It also removes the reservations she holds about talking to him about her own personal thoughts/past/random-things-she-wouldn't-usually-vo ice. A Master should be open to his slave. It shows trust. And while a Master and slave might not be "equal" D/s wise, his slave should be his confidante. It makes him no less of a Master. Actually, this slave would say it makes him *more* if he *can* open up. And the Master should let his slave know that just because s/he knows these things about him, it doesn't mean they hold anything over them. -s Always the curious one ~ s 27 Mar 10, 10:19 AM Sir_Aldric 5 yrs 470-772-848 wrote: Opening up in D/s In his eyes now he thinks this makes us more equal, he thinks that a Master should never reveal his true feeling to his sub for fear that this makes him less of a Master. Without the slightest doubt on my mind I can state here: this is complete nonsense.. Of course a Master should completely open up. It is a relation after all; never forget that. Not opening is unnecessary neglecting an important part of the relation. It is a must for any long term relation. The same goes for the slave. The only difference is that the Master is responsible for the slave and thus should not rest until he feels he has a complete & correct picture of what goes on in slave's mind and soul. If you want a relation to last long: open up both, be honest about your hopes, fears and expectations. At least to my humble opinion as Master, SA Relax, life is too short to get upset. 27 Mar 10, 3:42 PM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs i do think it is fair in my case to say Master opens up "less" than me. He doesn't feel the need to discuss every feeling as i do; He doesn't expect me to help Him, guide Him, He does do those things for me. He is a "stronger" person than me so He talks about feelings a little less. But when He does, it is genuine. Perhaps it is not a matter of NOT talking about His feelings but not talking about them to the extent that i do. Perhaps your Master just was trying too hard to keep things inside He could have been talking about. 898-443-818