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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "How much time should a Master/Dom put into his sub" 1 2 How much time should a Master/Dom put into his sub (19) This post is on the O&P web board. Tue 16 Mar 10, 12:43 PM 483-669-258 US(MA), 2 yrs £ Y! Hello, I was just wondering if anyone could give me their opinion on how much time do you think a Master/Dom should put into the training and upkeep of his sub? I am not a live in, more of a pet but a owened and collared sub none the less. I only see my Dom once a week if that and he travels for work. We talk maybe once a day but lately its been more spread out. But I feel like im not getting enough to keep me in line. I find when he is gone for more then a week I start to slip into un sub like behavior. (cumming with out asking, and just feelings of why should I bother hes not around anyways) the sessions we have when we have them are great and rewarding and when its over I am def put back in my place for another week or so. But i feel like I need more time with my Dom and More training but im just a sub so im not going to ask him for it. Shouldnt he want to put in the extra time to make sure Im being good? 16 Mar 10, 1:10 PM 562-470-768 2 yrs 483-669-258 wrote: How much time should a Master/Dom put into his sub But i feel like I need more time with my Dom and More training but im just a sub so im not going to ask him for it. Shouldnt he want to put in the extra time to make sure Im being good? this girl greets you, she also wonders why you feel you should not 'ask' for it? part of the biggest encouragments is to communicate. if you are not a happy pet, then how can you be a good pet? this girl would URGE you to stop all play, and re-establish the boundaries and re-itterate the needs on BOTH sides. yours and your Owner's. it may be that he too have different needs and goals at this point. you may not want to ask, but you should at least take responsibility for yourself and convey your concerns to your Owner. it is always best to do this in person, but if you are not comfortable with that, then write him a honest, open, respectful long letter. perhaps you both have outgrown this structure, and by teh sounds of it, you are both simply enjoying a D/s affair. (not in the sense of adultery, more in the sense of the time you spend around this - kinda like 'bedroom kink' and not lifestyle; if that makes sense) there are ways to enforce certain rules and boundaries, even when there isn't 24/7 live-in arrangements... you and your Owner would both have to sit down and come up with creative ways to deal with this.. such as... 1. he can send a text message and request immediate photo of what you are wearing 2. he can give you a weekly task list to complete that involves things such as writing, finding interesting websites etc. 3. he can pre-establish a points system (example: for every task you don't complete, you will recieve 5 lashings) 4. he can give you a series of positions to rehearse and when you DO see him, you are to give him a show. there are many little things that does not require him to be 'active'. but you both have to agree and evaluate the value of your current situation. this girl hopes you find your way. We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 16 Mar 10, 1:12 PM SeanT70 9 yrs We see this kind of thread a lot on the board, and I'll be honest, I just quite plainly don't get it. OK, so you don't live with your M-type, which is kinda hard and the sessions are few and far between but by what you say, when he 'has' that time, he puts 'all' of his energies into you and your training, and it seems like by your stepping outside the boundaries, in making yourself cum when you're not allowed to etc, this time means less than it should. If anything, you should have more self-respect and then more respect for your M than to break whatever rules there are while in his absence, because it kinda makes what you 'do' in your time together somewhat pointless. Have you considered that, in the knowledge that you 'do' break the rules, he may privately believe that more time than he already allows isn't worth it since he knows you'll break the rules anyway? You need to be able to prove him wrong; it seems there is a basis of a minor trust issue here somewhere (why should he when...) Look at it this way if you're able to; do the trees stop rustling their leaves as soon as you leave a forest? No. Then why do you do stuff you know you shouldn't behind his back? You look for validation in asking for more time together and asking does he put enough time in, when in fact it could possibly be you (the leaves in the trees) that need to keep rustling (behaving yourself), when he goes back to work and traveling (leaves the forest again) Whilst your enquiry doesn't come across as harsh, it seems unfair that he has to do all the running because he travels, and you do all the wanting - after all, he can't be in two places at once, and doing 2 things at once, can he? I make no apology for what I've said btw, advice isn't necessarily what you'd like to hear. My suggestion in closing, is, if you want him to give you more, then perhaps you should give him everything you have - always, not just when you feel like it and he's in front of you. That's bad form. Regards, Sean. 16 Mar 10, 1:42 PM SirSeven 3 yrs 483-669-258 wrote: How much time should a Master/Dom put into his sub Hello, I was just wondering if anyone could give me their opinion on how much time do you think a Master/Dom should put into the training and upkeep of his sub? I am not a live in, more of a pet but a owened and collared sub none the less. I only see my Dom once a week if that and he travels for work. We talk maybe once a day but lately its been more spread out. But I feel like im not getting enough to keep me in line. I find when he is gone for more then a week I start to slip into un sub like behavior. (cumming with out asking, and just feelings of why should I bother hes not around anyways) the sessions we have when we have them are great and rewarding and when its over I am def put back in my place for another week or so. But i feel like I need more time with my Dom and More training but im just a sub so im not going to ask him for it. Shouldnt he want to put in the extra time to make sure Im being good? A D/O/M should put exactly 27.5 hours into the training of their sub each week. Is that what you want to to hear? If so, then there you go. However, if you want my honest opinion, then read on. There are many factors that affect how much time a D/O/M can spend with their sub/slave. Work, family, travel, etc. all play a part. I think the more important question should be what can YOU do as a sub/slave to be more worthy of your owner's time and attentions? I don't buy the "I need more time with my master to be kept in line" argument. You make up your own mind regarding your behavior. You decide if you are going to obey the rules or not - plain and simple. Any D/O/M that accepts the "I need more time to be kept in line" argument from their property should seriously question a lot of things, to put it mildly, in my opinion. I think you should take a look at the choices you make and focus on being the best damned sub/slave you can be for your owner - even when he's not around to enforce the rules. Appreciate the time he IS able to spend with you rather than complaining that he isn't putting enough time into the relationship. Good luck, Sir Seven 16 Mar 10, 1:57 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs I'm with Sean... Live apart relationships are not easy, they require tonnes of work and commitment, if you are not prepared to make the commitment then you are in the wrong type of relationship. The commitment is doing what is expected of you, even when it is hard. Especially when it is hard, when you can't look your Dom/Master in the eyes and get the instant pat on the shoulder or acknowledgement that you seek to tell you are doing a good job or that he is proud of you. If you are having problems meeting your commitment, then you need to speak with your Dom/Master and hash that out. Changes to routine are good, but do not expect your Dom/Master to fix everything if you are not willing to do what is expected of you. You are wasting your Dom/Master's time and yours. So, put on your big girl panties and deal with it. You have rules, follow the ones you have now, show your Dom/Master that you are serious about the commitment you have made to him and go have a talk with him about how you are feeling. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair 16 Mar 10, 4:40 PM 470-772-848 UK, 4 yrs Sorry I have to agree with the last 3 posts, you have to look to your behaviour and want to follow his rules. I know it is never easy, I have broken many a rule over the last few years. I have always been able to talk to my Master (although no longer together), I have requested changes to try and help me. Rules and rituals were put in place at my request, I even wrote the ones I thought were relevant to us and he approved them and added some of his own. If you continuously break the rules he may not think you are worth it. Some Owners do not like bratty subs. I used to be one, but got tired of always being punished. I changed my attitude, it did not happen overnight. I became a sub/slave he was proud to own. Do yourself a favour, think about what you want to achieve within this relationship for you and for him. Find out what he wants as well and then take it from there. Above all, talk to him, I would doubt very much he is unapproachable. If like me your words don't come out so well when you say them or your forget the important bit, email or write him then request a time to talk it through with him. I wish you luck from one sub to another. jxx 16 Mar 10, 7:18 PM onyxfairy UK, 2 yrs Me and my Master live in different citys and seeing each other can sometimes be difficult, with us both having responsibilitys at home. But we do try to see each other about once a week on average. ive only been the property of my Master for about 2 months now so i am also training to be the best slave i can for my Master. Sometimes I find the training challenging, but always enjoyable. Between seeing Master, i find myself with time to reflect on the previous time and how i can find little ways to improve myself. Master often has me playing on webcam for him too. If you want to see your Master more often...speak to him about it, tell him your reasons and how you feel when your not with him. 16 Mar 10, 9:56 PM Master_IanNZ NZ, 2 yrs I too am with both Sean and Sir Seven. It is you, slave, who needs to look within for the fortitude to serve your D/O/M. Communication is the key. It is very easy to find excuses, and to look for ways to 'opt out' - certainly would lead me (as a Master) to start questioning the sincerity of any slave of mine. Master4whore 16 Mar 10, 11:56 PM rednwhite00 CA, 4 yrs 910-023-776 wrote: My Master travels alot and there are times when he is gone, there is just no way around that. I know what is expected of me while he is gone and I respect my Master to do as he wishes at all times. He does text me at all times during the day and phones me to see where I am and what I am doing. I know if I do not do what is expected of me I will be punished when he returns home. I know what your saying. My sub works away from home for about 15 days at a time and home on her days off for 6 days. She also knows whats expected of her while she is away and obeys me at all times. If she does by chance forget to do something she is always honest in telling me and never tries to hide it or fake it. We text all the time during the day and evening. We talk every night on the phone. She is very well trained and knows her place. She is the best sub that I have ever had in the past 8 or so yrs and am very happy to have her. Edited 17 Mar 10, 4:01 AM by rednwhite00 17 Mar 10, 3:19 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs rednwhite00 wrote: I know what your saying. My sub works away from home for about 15 days at a time and home on her days off for 6 days. She also knows whats expected of her while she is away and obeys me at all times. If she does by chance forget to do something she is always honest in telling me and never tries to hide it or fake it. We text all the time during the day and evening. We talk every night on the phone. She is very well trained and knows her place. She is the best sub that I have ever had in the past 8 or so yrs and am very happy to have her. As Master says, I work away from home for 15 days at a time. I can usually manage an extra day or two off most shifts from days owed or vacation but it is never easy to have to leave on that last day. As Master says, we do what we have to do for now, it won't be forever. I try to always do as I'm told but I am not perfect. There are things I must do on different days and once in awhile I do forget. I work long hours when at the work site and the days can sometimes just blend in together, where I lose track of the actual day. My memory tends to scramble at times from overload when working, if things aren't written down. Not an excuse, just sayin. (like last Saturday, yes, I told Master I forgot) I hate when I forget something, but wouldn't dream of not doing something when I cannot be with him for more than a week. IMO, to say you don't see your Dom enough or need more to keep in line, is not being honest with yourself. At the end of the day, it is up to you to ensure you are staying in line. No one else can do it for you. Your Dom can't do it, you have to decide in your mind you want to do it and then just do it. You have a responsibility as a sub to hold up your end of the deal. It isn't up to your Dom to do all the work, after all, how can anyone dominate you if you are not willing and committed to being submissive? You can't have one without the other. Maybe you could try sitting down and thinking hard about what you really need and want. Do you need to have someone micromanaging you or telling you to do certain things? What type of submissive are you? Think about these things. Be honest with yourself, make a list. Then, have a meaningful, truthful conversation with your Dom. If you are sincere, really want to be submissive to your Dom, trust and respect him, you will want to make him proud and be able to say yes, I did what I was told. Keeping your Dom close to you in mind and spirit may help you at those times you feel like disobeying. All the best to you. 2 more sleeps, then home. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away - unknown 25 Mar 10, 5:42 PM sweetgirl US(TX), 4 yrs rednwhite00 wrote: 910-023-776 wrote: My Master travels alot and there are times when he is gone, there is just no way around that. I know what is expected of me while he is gone and I respect my Master to do as he wishes at all times. He does text me at all times during the day and phones me to see where I am and what I am doing. I know if I do not do what is expected of me I will be punished when he returns home. I know what your saying. My sub works away from home for about 15 days at a time and home on her days off for 6 days. She also knows whats expected of her while she is away and obeys me at all times. If she does by chance forget to do something she is always honest in telling me and never tries to hide it or fake it. We text all the time during the day and evening. We talk every night on the phone. She is very well trained and knows her place. She is the best sub that I have ever had in the past 8 or so yrs and am very happy to have her. why do you have a slave number if you have had slaves for 8 years? Next page