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	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "Long Distance/online D/s relationships" 1 2 3 Long Distance/online D/s relationships (22) This post is on the Other Topics web board (moved from M/s D/s O&P). Sun 14 Mar 10, 3:15 PM 356-287-442 US(CO), 2 yrs Hello everyone! First off if this is the wrong place I apologize in advance I am new to this site. I guess to begin I will give back ground information to my question. I actually just discovered my submissive tendencies and was intrigued enough to join collarme.com actually to be trained by a mentor/master. Instead I did find a true master who wants to mold me to fulfill my position as his slave and property. The unfortunate thing is he is located in California and I Colorado. I have been successful in long distance vanilla relationships but as masters slave this a totally different realm so What I am looking for is comments, advice and true stories to learn from and apply in my relationship because without my master I am nothing. The slave chooses the master 14 Mar 10, 4:18 PM SirSeven 3 yrs Hello. This is an excellent question that I'm sure many of the people here who practice long distance relationships (LDR) will be able to better answer. Thus far I have not participated in LDR but I find the potential is something worth exploring and I do have some opinions on this topic. First, I think it all comes down to what is important to you. One of the biggest arguments against LDRs I see is the lack of physical contact. Will you be satisfied with a LDR that gives you little or no physical contact with your partner? If yes, then I'd say start slowly, do your research, and if you still think it's for you then by all means give it a try. However, if physical contact is important to you, then you may have problems with LDR. Second, there is a certain stigma and derision associated with LDRs. You may notice that some will discount or criticize LDRs as not being a "real relationship" or "real world," etc, etc. I disagree with this view because I believe it is what you make of it. If you get positive results from your LDR, if you are happy, fulfilled, then great! You define your reality and what you can or can't or should or shouldn't do. Don't let the naysayers keep you from trying. Anyways, something to think about if you do decide to give LDR a try. I look forward to hearing from others out there who do practice LDR. Good luck! Sir Seven 14 Mar 10, 4:34 PM 356-287-442 US(CO), 2 yrs Thank you for you response it gives me some thing to think about The slave chooses the master 14 Mar 10, 6:49 PM FeistyPuppy US(CA), 3 yrs I am meeting my Daddy for the first time soon, as he is traveling down to meet me on my spring break, and I am going to move north for school and to be with him. I think actually meeting him and then him leaving will make things way harder, because I will miss him way more. Being in a LDR/online relationship is what you make of it. I found it a useful way to dip my toes into the water, so to speak. 14 Mar 10, 7:44 PM 562-470-768 2 yrs this girl greets you this girl is an avid believer that when there is true emotional reactions involved, then the relationship is 'real' enough for the one experiencing those emotions. this girl has many friends in her second life, who are in an online D/s M/s relationship, and for them it is as real as it is for her in her 24/7 status in 'real life'. it is a great way to explore your fantasies, likes and dislikes and learn to follow instructions even when there is no physical supervision. it is different for everyone, and this girl would say that it is more difficult than most relationships. it is a matter of commitment and structure with the added bonus of self exploration. this girl thinks that it is also a very good way to learn to express yourself properly, as well as learn to communicate to a higher standard. it is very important to know in which aspects you wish this sort of relationship to progress. voice commands is easily learned through platforms such as skype + video, and 'punishment' (in the true sense, rather than pleasure) can be completely catered to have the greatest affect. creativity is at the order of the day. as a practical offering, this girl would say that find a few mediums to use that is acessable to you both. work out a 'routine' that is condusive to you both in training things such as:: voice commands poses manual applications (spanking, etc) and agreeable 'free communication' time. make a list, perhaps of: 1. mutual goals you hope to achieve with your Owner with regards to training 2. fears you may have 3. ways to communicate 4. draw up a practical routine together 5. be clear about expectations (things such as visits, moving country, marriage and children) 6. present a list of technology that you can and hope to employ, and how you plan and hope to do so 7. create clear and presice times for 'free communication' that does NOT involve BDSM - but that will address emotional and mental wellbeing. 8. create a list of affirmations that will see you through difficult times (on both sides that is. it is good that the Owner also know which phrases will give you support) 9. work on an acceptable manner of punishment and agree beforehand on those (you don't want your Owner to 'cut you off' for a day without previous notification!) 10. agree to a trial period. this sounds silly, but it is VITAL. if you feel that after the trial period that you would prefer to move into your local arena rather than persue the online situation, you will feel less inclined to give into guilt, (thus creating frustration, resentment and 'uglyness' that could have been avoided.) and avoid hurt feelings and utter negative reactions further down the line. RENIEW this agreement at least two or three times before you completely commit. 11. agree that it is NOT just about the sexual aspect. in fact, abstain from that for as long as possible. this is where things often goes wrong. it is fantastic to burn hard and fast.. this creates different expectations and much of the original course of actions are often derailed. it is hard as HECK to get it back on track after that! these are but a few things this girl has learned from the online/ long distance relationship. she wish you well, and truly hope that should you need or want any further help with thoughts and ideas, that you will accept the invite to speak to her about such things. We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 14 Mar 10, 8:20 PM 356-287-442 US(CO), 2 yrs I thank you all for the advice you have given and I plan on discussing it throughly with my master you all have this slaves gratitude! The slave chooses the master 16 Mar 10, 2:33 AM 976-149-021 2 yrs 356-287-442 Thank you for asking this question! I too am new to this (new is an understatement) and have not the same, but a similar situation. Congratulations on finding your true Master. Edited 16 Mar 10, 2:37 AM by 976-149-021 16 Mar 10, 4:59 AM rednwhite00 CA, 4 yrs Well first I will say I agree with SirSeven on what he said. I myself have been in a few LDR and none worked out. In the beginning it was all fine but then when the feelings for one another becomes stronger, its hard to deal with sometimes. Because the need and want to be touched, smelled, kissed, hugged, held ect is so strong. Needing one to be their when you have a good or a bad day. Its hard to have that in a LDR over the phone or computer. The feelings will always over power it. IMO. I personally felt that it is hard to have a Dom sub relationship over the internet and phone. Its just not the same as in real life. The craving for contact and touch is so strong. It goes back to needing to be touched ect again. I wish you all the best of luck and hope it works out well for you and you find happiness and strength in a LDR. 17 Mar 10, 4:48 PM 834-243-250 2 yrs I am currently in a LDR, and it can be hard, but it is manageable. He is in London for business and I am on the east coast of the US. It is hard to be separated, but using the internet, phone, etc. makes it much easier. Planning ahead can make the prices for flights go down drastically also. We are in LDR until he moves me with him, so to me, I know there is an "end in sight" and that helps. Good luck to you though with your Master! Keep your chin up. If you know he is the one, it is worth it! - Slave In Training 20 Mar 10, 9:06 PM naughtyslave US, 2 yrs hello and welcome. congrats on your new relationship. my former and i were in a ldr. it started as a simple online but grew to be much more. we felt as if we were 24/7 because that is how much time we were together. He learned all my shedules and adjusted His to match mine. i was never alone.If i was at work, He was with me on the phone and through texting. while driving we chatted about our day. we put our kids to bed around the same time, then the evenings were ours to spend working on my training. He made me a special paddle and gave it to me to carry out my punishment.He taught me how he expected me to use it, which i learned quickly so i wouldnt have to keep repeating it. punishment was done on cam with Him on the phone giving direction. it was very effective. often we fell asleep together on the phone as if in eachothers arms. Every morning was started with Him on the phone. It takes time to connect your schedules and lives together in that way when you are long distance but it can be done. i wouldnt trade that time with Him for anything in the world. Hope this helps a little, good luck, take care, naughty 21 Mar 10, 12:01 PM 842-520-015 US, 4 yrs Y! This one was also in LDR for almost two years before moving in with her Master. As has been said in the other posts, it is manageable. It also gives you time to educate yourself and grow into who you are, whether it be a slave or sub. You learn patience and you will develop a trust between the two of you that can not compare to any other. It is not an easy relationship, there will be times when all you can think about is being with your Master. Even though you have a contact with him via the phone, internet, etc.. the moment you are not you will miss him terribly. We started making monthly trips to see each other and this one cherished those times and yes when the trip was over you miss him even more but that just adds strength to your relationship and builds it more to become what it is-a very special union. Well wishes to you and your Master Next page