This page sponsored by Mr. S Leather, San Francisco    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Begging" 1 2 Begging (12) This post is on the O&P web board. Mon 8 Feb 10, 9:47 AM 562-470-768 2 yrs forgive me Master for your girl cannot beg verbally. over many years of conditioning, this girl had to take responsibility for herself and her siblings. she was left in charge of the housework, school matters, finances etc from the age of 10. at the time, it was not custom to ask for help from adults or family members. this would place the family in a embaressing situation. so this girl made do. as mentioned in an earlier discussion, she thought to ask other Owners and owned souls if they have any experience in this matter? this girl cannot beg verbally. now before anyone goes off telling her she has no control, she has no rights blah blah blah.. she knows all this. she WANTS to, she absolutely begs with her body, her eyes and in writing. she has learned only recently to ASK for help when she is overwhelmed (and this often reflects in what her job considers to be her 'drive for success') instead of near killing herself in the effort to do it herself as is expected (by her own standards). there are still things and times where even asking for help is simply not going to happen and she would much rather break her back moving a huge cabinet herself, than ask Master or anyone to do it with/for her. again, this is not because she is stubborn, or disrepectful or going against Masters will on purpose. she has a physical reaction where her throat closes up, her mind drifts off to a very dark empty space and she simply CAN NOT get the words past her lips. she thinks them, screams them in her mind... she even go as far as practising in the mirror or such trying to ingrain the action into her mind.. she is not a bad girl, if Master tells her to jump in front of a car, she may try to respectfully point out that she will be dead and he won't have a slave after, but still do it if it is his wish. when Master tells her to beg, she has all the intention in the world to do so.. but alas *sigh* someone very kindly told this girl that it would happen over time... but would love to know if anyone else had to overcome something like this (or another behavioural issue) and how you dealth with it. it may also be nice to hear from other Owners who may have had to help their slaves/subs with this matter,and how they went about doing so. We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 8 Feb 10, 1:00 PM 915-433-563 US(FL), 2 yrs i can relate to your problem ~ i was in much the same position as you as a kid growing up and i spent most of my adult life killing myself to do everything for everyone at great cost to myself. For myself, things changed when i was badly injured at work and incapacitated. i had no choice but to allow others to help me and because i created the situation where i never needed help... i had to learn to ask because the people around me didn't think to offer. i found that i was carrying a LOT of anger about this and it was really unhealthy for me. For myself...i had to spend time analyzing the reasons i found it so hard to ask...and it came down to pride. As a submissive woman, i loathed admitting to myself that i was too proud for anythihg, but once i faced that hard truth it got easier. As far as actual begging? The things i am expected to beg for are sexual in nature and i no longer find it hard. In fact it is something i sorta revel in... its like crawling...it hits my deepest self as pleasurable because it is a thing that makes me feel my enslavement to the depths of my soul and that just reinforces my connection to Master. i hope you find a way through this issue for yourself. You will be amazed how freed you will feel. 8 Feb 10, 1:51 PM 562-470-768 2 yrs thank you kindly for your reply. this girl knows it stems from pride for sure. she has a 'i can do this myself' attitude towards most things and very often does it herself and succeeds. asking for help, or just asking permission is becoming second nature. this girl suppose she's very guarded against being branded as lazy too. she has spend many hours analysing the emotional attachment to this.. and as she says, is not about not wanting to... the realise and recognise that she DOES beg.. and totally loves it. is just verbally.. is not happening. We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 8 Feb 10, 11:43 PM crystalredroze US(OH), 4 yrs Y! wow, i completely understand you. i'm the exact same way, Master has asked of simple things for me to do and because of my upbringing and always having to be in complete control of my life up until now, i fight what he wants me to do. i dont willingly fight it, in fact, ive even gotten workbooks and talked to my counselor about it. Changes like this dont happen overnight, all you can do is try a little at a time. My counselor told me that if i write what i want to say enough times that it will eventually make it easier to open up like He wants. And it is starting to slowly work. 9 Feb 10, 1:45 PM Danswhore AU, 2 yrs i can relate to not asking for help, it does become ingrained... but i have a question.. what does your Master ask you to beg to? ~His arms encompass my body, His collar surrounds my heart and His shadows protect my soul~ Edited 9 Feb 10, 1:46 PM by Danswhore 9 Feb 10, 2:13 PM 562-470-768 2 yrs Danswhore wrote: i can relate to not asking for help, it does become ingrained... but i have a question.. what does your Master ask you to beg to? there are various things that this girl is asked to beg for. food from her favourite bowl, release after a rather intense scene, or priveladges to provide him with pleasures, wearing her leash etc... is not one thing, but it is always one thing at a time. asking for help is not a problem anymore. when this girl consider it needed, she is more regularly inclined to do so. this girl knows that some things seems 'small', and again she states that her Master is a patient man, hence he asks her to beg for things he knows she truly enjoys having/doing to try and help her overcome that 'hurdle' We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 9 Feb 10, 6:07 PM mutable 2 yrs I am VERY bad at asking for help 562-470-768, but I wonder if this is the same thing as being bad at begging? It seems to me that whenever I have begged for something, it is usually with a good idea of what the dominant wants from me, not me from *him*. To put it another way, it is a service of sorts, one the dominant enjoys. It is also something that I take interest in learning, much like any other skill. Yes, asking for help in a purely 'selfish' matter is much harder. Yet if one considers that the dominant may require to 'know all about you', in an effort to enable *him* to change you to his benefit, then surely this is service too? I'm not saying asking for help or begging is easy, just that it may help to see them as different things and from a different point of view. Caveat : Non offensive and always learning. 9 Feb 10, 7:33 PM 562-470-768 2 yrs mutable wrote: I am VERY bad at asking for help 562-470-768, but I wonder if this is the same thing as being bad at begging? It seems to me that whenever I have begged for something, it is usually with a good idea of what the dominant wants from me, not me from *him*. To put it another way, it is a service of sorts, one the dominant enjoys. It is also something that I take interest in learning, much like any other skill. Yes, asking for help in a purely 'selfish' matter is much harder. Yet if one considers that the dominant may require to 'know all about you', in an effort to enable *him* to change you to his benefit, then surely this is service too? I'm not saying asking for help or begging is easy, just that it may help to see them as different things and from a different point of view. this girl would like to say that 1. Master enjoys seeing girl eat from her bowl - and wants her to beg for it. girl enjoys pleasing Master, she begs, just not verbally. 2. Master enjoys holding her on her leash - and wants her to beg for it. girl enjoys pleasing Master, she begs, just not verbally. girl would like to make the soul who wrote to her in response aware, that Master also enjoys the begging. he's known and owned this girl for 15years. asking for help (as such) this girl now has well sorted. she 'slips' at times, but Master quickly pulls her right back with that! this girl has no objection to the 'change' nor to the begging. no reservations at all, not worries or emotional response to it. the words, physically, won't form. it gets stuck and this girl cannot get them unstuck. girl accepts and appreciate very much the way this soul who replied is trying to help her, and she smiles keenly on the writing as she totally agrees with all that was said... she thanks you sincerely for your time... and this girl truly hopes that perhaps at some point, all the things will come together and sort itself out. *chuckles naughty and says playfully* perhaps Master should smack her a bit harder to loosen up the words! We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 9 Feb 10, 10:14 PM mutable 2 yrs In that case 562-470-768, is it purely the words 'I beg...(whatever)... Master'? Is this what he would like to hear from you? If so, could you not utilise an established request? By this I mean, for example; 'please may this one have £10 for a hair cut Master', but INSTEAD try 'this one begs for £10 for a hair cut Master'. Ok, a silly example but hopefully you get my drift. I just mean to say that trying to insert the word 'beg' into normal conversation may help you not to get so tongue tied when using the word in a specifically 'begging' situation. Sorry if that sounds confusing Caveat : Non offensive and always learning. 9 Feb 10, 11:11 PM bastets_daughter 2 yrs i have yet to be required to beg, and i think it is something that i'm waiting for with equal portions of anticipation and dread. i can be polite, slowly i have learned to ask for things in the most humbling way i can think of at the time...but in my own mind, i struggle with the concept. i have no reason to beg. if i have asked, and my offer was declined, even playfully, then i will accept that answer. if i were to be asked to beg, its because that is the service my Owner would require of me, not because i had any particular desire or need to beg for my own wants or needs. And would that then really be begging, or some sort of faux begging? Perhaps if an Owner were to take away my internet for an indefinite period....i may then understand begging a little more :P 10 Feb 10, 1:22 AM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs Make a little song. It's the begging song. It's funny, not serious. Sing it all the time. If it's too serious that your trauma reaction happens - and what you're talking about with the throat closing up and going into a trance state doesn't sound like pride, it sounds like a trauma reaction from a very bad experience - you make it funnier and less serious. When he asks you to beg, you sing the begging song. (Obviously he has to be on board with this.) You do that for a while, you keep it light, you both laugh. Then you make the song a little more serious, and then a little more serious, over time. Eventually you should be able to dispense with the song and just say it in a humorous, light voice. ("Oh, please, pleeeease, master! I am your abject slavey-slave!") At some point after that you should be able to actually seriously beg. That, or you get hypnosis about the problem. -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. Next page