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	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "Getting it off my chest... " Getting it off my chest... (5) This post is on the Other Topics web board. Tue 2 Feb 10, 9:54 PM RogueAngel NL, 3 yrs Y! i am confident in my abilities, but not in my looks. my mind and personal space is organised to the nth degree, but my household and life is not. my spirit is strong, but my heart is submissive, and i have to be, not a dom, but very reliable and strict, because my lifestyle is very stressful, with everything usually being done at the last minute, this is the consequence of my situation, and the (vanilla) person i am in a relationship with, of which at present i can do nothing (there are children involved). i feel so trapped and drive myself crazy mentally pacing. for 4 years i have known that what i need is a Master, to be collared and owned, and i yearn for this. the frustration sometimes breaks my heart that after 4 years i am still so lost and feel that i will never find a Master who will want me. age and time take its toll. While my profile says i am owned, it is only a temporary arrangement until i find or am found by a Master. Master G is happy to keep me safe, but is not interested in being a Master outside of 'roleplay' boundaries. Thank Y/you for allowing me to speak, i actually feel a little better for getting it off my chest. Rogue Angel, Property of Master G. 10 Feb 10, 2:04 AM bastets_daughter 2 yrs *hugs* hang in there. i can relate very much to that yearning... in your position, i would try to focus as much as i could on the children, and on bettering myself in preparation of the day that i would be fully owned. i also know how frustrating it can be to be with a vanilla partner. if you ever want someone to talk to, im always looking for more friends, and i wish you the best of luck. 14 Feb 10, 7:30 PM NippleRings UK, 2 yrs I can sympathise on what is said. I'm married to a woman of my dreams. But unfortunately she doesn't share my feelings with the BDSM world. If only ! 14 Feb 10, 8:24 PM finally_aware CA, 2 yrs This one also understands and is in the same position, vanilla wife who does not share or know of my BDSM desires. 13 Jul 10, 5:09 AM weanderson US(IA), 2 yrs Y! I can understand your feelings and thoughts abut that deep desire, craving and need to be felt cherished and loved and even owned by a Master, that shows your inner gift and fire in your belie still burns, and believe it or not, that is a good thing. I know you may Not want to hear this, but be patient because one day it will just happen for you and that special bond you speak of will happen, believe it or not but for some free's We spend a long time looking and waiting for that special slave to bring into Our life. But I don't understand why you doubt your looks though, you are a very attractive female. I know it can be hard to be in a relationship if one does not receive nor get the verbal appreciation or simple and sincere complement from the person. I might as well say I honestly believe in a wide range of things in a Master slave relationship, a Master has to EARN the trust from the slave and show through His own abilities and behaviors He is worthy of her gift of submission, and the slave has to show through there behaviors and abilities she is worthy of the guidance and Dominance from the Master. There is a lot of mental and physiological effort that needs and have to been done on a daily occurrence. I will stop rambling I am of Old guard and no need for ME to be on a soap box, but if I may make a couple of suggestions to you, ONE continue to post your feelings and thoughts and if they are to private or intimate then keep a diary, SECOND write a “gratitude” list, list everything you are grateful for ranging from your intelligence, beauty, wit, your family, friends whatever you are grateful for, and when you start to feel down, pull that list out and read it butt add 3 more things you are grateful for. Hope this helped you. Will 19 Jul 10, 7:40 AM deranged_kitten UK, 4 yrs Y! Big hugs to you 430-492-113, I so know where you are coming from. For me I can't do temporary. I had the Mistress and friend of my dreams and for me there can be no other. It is only recently that I have aired my feelings and it helps although my head is exploding daily and I wont be owned by another. At least you are still out there looking. Keep looking and searching, it is strange how life works out. I have had some lovely offers over time but I cant go there anymore and not with anyone else. Good luck to you...someone will come along, they always do when you least expect.