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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "It is me again...... LOL!" It is me again...... LOL! (10) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board (moved from Internal Enslavement). Fri 15 Jan 10, 7:23 PM Amo_s_beauty 4 yrs It is me beauty again. I just have a question. Am I wrong to be turned on being called naughty or a bad girl, slave? I am still trying to figure out this lifestyle. Why does it turn me on to think about being punished by my Amo? What does this mean? I know I want to please him. At the same time it is exciting to me to be bad. Now let me clarify, I do not mean completely disrespectful, I mean just little things if you will. Like maybe forgetting a rule that is little or something. Like maybe not calling him Amo or something? Please help. I have open ears, and I love to learn all I can. Thanks ahead of time... 15 Jan 10, 7:35 PM slave_monika39 US(CO), 2 yrs Have you actually asked your master about this? It seems to me that you ought to be able to communicate with him about this and you dont really say if you have. You need to be clear how your master feels about "bad girl." my Master does not like bad girls, and He uses punishment to reinforce lessons not as a consequence for negative action, unless of course i ask for it because i feel i have failed. He calls me things that others might consider pejorative, He brings out negative fantasies, and the very dark side of me indeed, but it it not out of spite or malice, it is out of endearment, which is what i need and want, at least right now. BUT you might WANT a cruel Master, and that is alright too, but it sounds like you are not sure what you want, which is also PERFECTLY FINE. The whole point it to explore all of this in you...but i would ask for guidance from your own Master. So i guess my short answer is, of course it is fine for you to feel this way. slave monika slave_monika39 15 Jan 10, 7:36 PM crystalredroze US(OH), 4 yrs Y! i think you may be talking more about just being ornery am i right?? 15 Jan 10, 8:34 PM Sklavos_mou_Kyriah 3 yrs I read this question the same as jjsslave and in that light here is my answer. When I get things wrong, the prospect of being beaten or tied up or both can be quite a turn on. The prospect of such treatment being withheld is equally as exciting but in a different way. That is why those of us who are that way inclined like to be sub/slave/property. The obverse of this is the Dom/Owner who enjoys wielding such power/control over a willing recipient. To be a true slave is to be truly free Sklavos 15 Jan 10, 8:44 PM SeanT70 9 yrs Amo_s_beauty wrote: It is me again...... LOL! It is me beauty again. I just have a question. Am I wrong to be turned on being called naughty or a bad girl, slave? I am still trying to figure out this lifestyle. Why does it turn me on to think about being punished by my Amo? What does this mean? I know I want to please him. At the same time it is exciting to me to be bad. Now let me clarify, I do not mean completely disrespectful, I mean just little things if you will. Like maybe forgetting a rule that is little or something. Like maybe not calling him Amo or something? Please help. I have open ears, and I love to learn all I can. Hello stranger (lol), long time, no type from you on these boards. I trust everything is well in the house of Amo? Onto your question; you're certainly not wrong for being turned on or feeling the way you do about being punished by your Amo, but the minor question - for me at least is does he punish you for anything at all? The simple reason that you get turned on by the names 'naughty girl' or 'bad girl' (or whatever else there may be) is because they are part of the anticipation that lead to a resulting closer action between you both. Of course, you wouldn't want to completely undermine Amo, that's not what this is about, but subconsciously, your body has learned a physical response as part of that equation; you're bad, he calls you bad (or naughty) and later punishes you - ultimately brings you closer togethe(etc) Look at it this way, you'd soon stop having these feelings if he didn't punish you in the ways you 'like', because your body would simply train itself out of that response - over time of course. I hope that's of some use, Regards to you both, Sean. NB. This is all using the words 'punish', etc very loosely since the term used figuratively, isn't sometimes what we're discussing necessarily. 15 Jan 10, 9:21 PM Amo_s_beauty 4 yrs Yes, I would say. 15 Jan 10, 9:25 PM Amo_s_beauty 4 yrs SeanT70 wrote: Amo_s_beauty wrote: It is me again...... LOL! It is me beauty again. I just have a question. Am I wrong to be turned on being called naughty or a bad girl, slave? I am still trying to figure out this lifestyle. Why does it turn me on to think about being punished by my Amo? What does this mean? I know I want to please him. At the same time it is exciting to me to be bad. Now let me clarify, I do not mean completely disrespectful, I mean just little things if you will. Like maybe forgetting a rule that is little or something. Like maybe not calling him Amo or something? Please help. I have open ears, and I love to learn all I can. Hello stranger (lol), long time, no type from you on these boards. I trust everything is well in the house of Amo? Onto your question; you're certainly not wrong for being turned on or feeling the way you do about being punished by your Amo, but the minor question - for me at least is does he punish you for anything at all? The simple reason that you get turned on by the names 'naughty girl' or 'bad girl' (or whatever else there may be) is because they are part of the anticipation that lead to a resulting closer action between you both. Of course, you wouldn't want to completely undermine Amo, that's not what this is about, but subconsciously, your body has learned a physical response as part of that equation; you're bad, he calls you bad (or naughty) and later punishes you - ultimately brings you closer togethe(etc) Look at it this way, you'd soon stop having these feelings if he didn't punish you in the ways you 'like', because your body would simply train itself out of that response - over time of course. I hope that's of some use, Regards to you both, Sean. NB. This is all using the words 'punish', etc very loosely since the term used figuratively, isn't sometimes what we're discussing necessarily. No he does not punish for anything really. He thinks your suppose to avoid it....but I like it not serious offences mind you but small things and being called a bad girl....hmmmm..... 15 Jan 10, 11:30 PM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs Do you mean that you break little rules on purpose to get the punishment or this is the response you feel when you genuinely forget? 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away 17 Jan 10, 2:44 PM Amo_s_beauty 4 yrs Breaking little rules on purpose. 18 Jan 10, 5:13 PM Degenerate UK, 3 yrs Amo_s_beauty wrote: Breaking little rules on purpose. You of course need to be doing with your own partner what suits him. For me this would be unacceptable and manipulative and I would be finding a way to undermine the deviousness I was faced with by making sure it isn't worth your while (in very real terms, not in exciting ones). Aside from this - as a general topic I am not concerned whether being in trouble is turning someone on, so much as whether they are a) doing it on purpose/ topping me from the bottom and b) that the subsequent correction is working. (I think) You should tell him this happens so he can deal with it.. as one thing I do think it does for submissives is that whilst it might give you a thrill in the moment it eventually can serve to undermine your belief in his status, which in the end will spoil it for you - each time you do it, you chip away at his greatness and the genuineness of your dynamic in your own heart. Is this what you want? To feel the thrill of being controlled properly you have to give this stuff over to it. De Edited 18 Jan 10, 5:14 PM by Degenerate 20 Jan 10, 12:01 AM pinklucy UK, 3 yrs Amo_s_beauty wrote: It is me again...... LOL! It is me beauty again. I just have a question. Am I wrong to be turned on being called naughty or a bad girl, slave? I am still trying to figure out this lifestyle. Why does it turn me on to think about being punished by my Amo? What does this mean? I know I want to please him. At the same time it is exciting to me to be bad. Now let me clarify, I do not mean completely disrespectful, I mean just little things if you will. Like maybe forgetting a rule that is little or something. Like maybe not calling him Amo or something? Please help. I have open ears, and I love to learn all I can. Thanks ahead of time... I relate to your post very much. I have what I call a 'bad girl' mentality, by which I mean that I am inherently more drawn towards the excitement of feeling 'bad' than by the pleasure of feeling good. This doesn't mean that I actually like the act of misbehaving or being bad, but like you say, the consequences of that behaviour such as punishment and chastisement are very appealing to me. It was all very simple when I just did roleplay scenes. I just explained my playstyle, found someone who enjoyed punishment scenarios and off we went. It felt a lot more complicated once I was in a 24/7 D/s relationship. It felt like there was a constant internal conflict between my emotional drive to be a good girl for my Mistress and my sexual drive towards the excitement of feeling bad. I'm hearing that you feel a similar way from your post. I never really resolved the feelings of conflict, and also guilt. I worried that if I found it so exciting to be bad and be punished then I couldn't ever be a good submissive. I can suggest a few ideas though that we used which may help. I agree with Degenerate that if you are breaking rules deliberately then you may be setting yourself up for problems in your dynamic. If you begin to feel that you can manipulate your Master with bad behaviour in order to satisfy your sexual thrills then I do think that your confidence in his Dominance could erode over time. My previous Mistress and I set up a situation which meant that I could be punished for almost anything. I have heard some submissives and slaves say that they are only punished for deliberate disobedience. I could be punished for any mistakes whether they were deliberate or not. We also had several rules which were very particular and therefore there was greater room for error. I can honestly say that I never needed to deliberately break rules because with our system we could guarantee there would almost always be outstanding punishments! We both knew the difference between a punishment that was very serious and a punishment that was really for the sake of expressing a dynamic we both enjoyed. In a way, being punished harshly for minor or accidental offenses was actually my 'reward' and would be more likely to occur if my general behaviour was better. We just didn't call it a reward because we both understood that rewards feed into a 'good girl' mentality and I would gain more satisfaction from the excitement of feeling 'bad' but within the comfort zone of knowing I hadn't transgressed in a serious way. So where as another sub might enjoy a gentle caress and a 'good girl', my treat would more likely be a sudden kick for spilling something followed by a 'bad girl!' It wasn't without it's drawbacks. It meant that we often had a backlog of punishments which my Mistress sometimes felt as a pressure or an annoyance hanging over us. It also means your Dominant needs to look out for problems with self esteem as it can sometimes feel disheartening to try your best and yet always be failing. However, that sentiment is very much at the heart of my sexual pull towards D/s so it worked for us over all. My Mistress often gave me reassurance after punishments that over all I was doing well and making progress and that she knew how hard I tried which helped to chase away any lingering feelings of complete failure which may have been damaging long term. I think many people are excited by the feeling of being bad and getting punished, but managing it in a 24/7 relationship is more complicated. There is nothing wrong with these feelings in themselves but you need to decide how to work with them in your dynamic. How does your Master feel about your small acts of disobedience? That is the most important question really. You only need to change something if it is a problem.