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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Third Person?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Third Person? (70) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 11 Aug 10, 3:52 PM 281-314-060 US(MN), 23 mths Bina, Did I not use (to me) often enough? I wasn't criticizing anyone else's way of writing and speaking. I posted that I accept other people writing with slave capitalization but that I find it annoying and choose not to do so. I didn't say that anyone else shouldn't do so. As for why I didn't keep my post to myself - perhaps I thought someone else might agree with me, but be too intimidated by the forceful personalities on this board to disagree with them and be sniped at for it. And should Master choose to collar me, I will be DAMN proud to wear it - but as I said, that's between Master and myself. I work in an industry where loose clothing and jewelry is forbidden, even wedding rings. Would your Master be proud of your collar if it caught on a high-speed machine part and removed your head? -------------- I am editing my post to include an apology to Bina. We had some miscommunication that we have posted to each other about privately and (I believe) have resolved. Edited 12 Aug 10, 2:56 PM by 281-314-060 19 Aug 10, 10:35 PM Dawsonaa US(TX), 22 mths Y! Third person is used by both Masters and slaves. My Master will use it at times when we are communicating via texts and I will do the same. Sometimes it makes the statement mean more. But I definitly feel it shouldn't be mixed in one post/text etc. 19 Aug 10, 11:14 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs Dawsonaa wrote: Third person is used by both Masters and slaves. My Master will use it at times when we are communicating via texts and I will do the same. Sometimes it makes the statement mean more. This slave's Master does the same occasionally. When talking to his Bina he'll talk about her, saying "she" instead of "you." She likes it; keeps her in her mindset and feels "fair." Since we're both using it, and not just her. It does mean more. -Bina Always the curious one ~ His bina 21 Aug 10, 11:51 PM bitchgirl DE, 21 mths Y! Hello there, this girl is realy new to this board and tries learning by reading and listening. There is a lot at this board, that is seen from a different point of view, then she is used to. Might be, that the culture here is a bit different from the way Y/you are used to look at things. Being from Germany means, that English isn't girls native language. Please don't feel assaulted by girls bad Engish, her faults and errors. This girl trys to learn about Y/your points of view as well as Y/your language. About 6 years ago this girl made her first steps into the r/t lifestyle. Before she had felt being a submissive, read a lot about the lifestyle and chatted with some people, who made those steps some time before. By that, girl did know a little bit about the things, she had to expect, got curious and wanted to be some of the best from the start on. But stepping into the r/t lifestyl opened her a completely new world, showed her, that there are many different ways, likings, needs and oppinions. This girl got realy confused about that all. There was no right or wrong, there were lots of shades. Regarding to the topic, some subs/slaves talked even with Master/Mistress present in a way, no one would think, there was a M/s relationship installed. Never they used third person or even adressed Master/Mistress with Their first name. Others showed respect by adressing the Dominants as Master, Mistress, Sir Ma'am or soething like that. Another group used third person only, when talking about themselves and some others used the German “Sie” talking to the Dominants. This girl used third person and girl refering to herself and the formal “Sie” adressing a Dominant from the start on. No one demanded that, but girl felt more secure, felt more herself. On girls way till today, sometimes she was told to use different ways of talking and she did. But girl never felt that well as she does, using third person and girl. Probably its something everybody has to find out for themselves which form they like most, feel best. Surely its up to the Dominant to decide, which way it has to be. But probably every Dominant feels different too. This girl doesn't think it's a big deal and it's just a formal respect that is shown. The way girls is talking to someone isn't showing what is in her mind, it only shows, that she is using her brain  30 Aug 10, 11:22 PM chrystal_HMLK US(IL), 5 yrs 318-068-287 wrote: Third Person? I only ask this out of curiosity, and hopefully those who reply will take pity upon this poor lurker of the boards, but I have wondered for a long time about the use of the third person by slaves and other bottoms when replying to posts. Just a wondering I have had for a long time now and had to finally ask. I suspect the reason most will give for it but would like to hear it from them to see. The reasons people will use third person is usually because their owner wants it. The owners reasons will usually differ, some use it just for training the slave or for punishment, while others like their slaves to use it full time. While i am in training, currently i am not required to use third person, but i know my time of using first person is coming to an end soon. i am not looking forward to it because i pretty much suck at it, or at using it with any type of consistency. Whether it will just be for training purposes or if it will be permanent will be up to him. Edited to corrected my grammar issue kallisto Edited 31 Aug 10, 8:15 AM by chrystal_HMLK 1 Sep 10, 11:55 PM bastets_daughter 2 yrs EvaMaria wrote: 562-470-768 wrote: it saddens this girl to think that there could be such a large irritation by her simply wishing to share her thoughts, and yet still obey hare Master. My irritation is not caused by anyone wanting to share their thoughts or their desire to obey their master. My irritation is at being inconvenienced by the difficulty caused by the use of grammar that not only doesn't serve me, but impedes my ability to understand what the writer is trying to convey. And for clarity - I neither said nor implied I felt "such a large" irritation - only that it was enough to make me decide not to read *some* posts. 562-470-768 wrote: perhaps if the auther of this paragraph could consider a different way to view such writing. imagine this girl was foreighn (which she is) and her english was not very good (currently she reckons its acceptable) and she wrote with many many infractions on gramar, and 1st/3rd person mixes and mix ups. would you still feel irritated? would you still feel that it has no benefit to you? would you still feel this girl should choose a 'conventional' format? I would not feel irritated in that situation, because A) the difficulty is due to the person's lack of expertise rather than a thing they've done intentionally, and B) the fact that they've even posted shows they're trying to learn a new thing. I'm generally willing to give extra effort in that situation. I'm not, however, always willing to give that sort of effort to a post that's been intentionally made difficult to read for reasons that are not useful or seem logical to me. I have never said, in this or any other thread that a post written in 3rd could have no benefit to me. What I have said is that THE FORMAT itself has none. I do think a writer and their readers are better served if the writer is proficient in conventional speech before attempting to address the community in 3rd person, but I don't care for its use in either case. 562-470-768 wrote: once, this girl was made to read a book. in this book the auther wrote in a terrible manner. girl had to read, re-read, look up and disect virtually every line of it, because she simply could not understand.(though it was written in her own native tongue!). this girl got irritated, frustrated and threw the book across the room a few times. however, she was told every time to pick it up and read it to completion. it took several days, and by the end of the book, she realised that had she not put in that effort, had she given up, judged or simply gave way to her own irritations, she would never have learned the true value of the writer's words. it was a lesson in patience, understanding and even forced tolerance ... but the book itself addressed a very deep seated issue that was a true enlightened moment when she got the answer she seeked from it. ((Master expects her to follow his orders, not to be without personality or opinin, 1st, 2nd or 3rd person) While I agree this was a useful experience for you, I don't believe it is either here or there as regards the logic of the use of 3rd person speech on these boards. Neither am I debating whether or not you should obey your master, or any things he may want from you. 562-470-768 wrote: this girl also does not quite understand how a personal opinion expressed denotes a 1st person nature and therefore justifies disregard to Masters wishes for the sake of 'simplicity'; or to avoid the auther of this paragraph (and others of similar thought) to be 'less irritated'. The purpose of 3rd person speech is to indicate inferiority of rank, a focus on others rather than themselves, or (more commonly in O&P) to promote/ingrain the perception of diminished power/self-direction. Offering one's opinions and/or debating a concept in their own interest would be in direct conflict with that goal, at least from the standpoint of the reader's perception of the writer. And as I've said, I'm not debating whether an s-type should disobey their master for simplicity or otherwise but rather the logic behind the use of 3rd person speech on these boards. But I do think because most people (including myself) will make their own decision as to whether they'll read the post or not, if the desire is to communicate as effectively as possible with the community, a person would want to take general preferences into consideration. To be clear, this is a general recommendation - I do understand that other's preferences aren't of concern to you personally. 562-470-768 wrote: this girl would then imagine that perhaps this irritation is something the auther of this paragraph (and others who may feel irritated too) should look to themselves for the reasons and answers why it has such an impact on their mental, emotional state of mind? Speaking personally, I don't see the reasoning behind your suggestion that I don't *already* understand the reasons behind my opinions - I think I've been making a fair effort to explain them throughout this thread. In fact, I've already made most of the statements in this post more than once here, and while I'm willing to try to make those reasons clearer to others, I also expect others to read the posts I've already made before offering a rebuttal. If I'm wrong, please correct me, but it doesn't seem to me that you've done that. Eva This is a web-board. All kinds of *different* (please stress that in your mind) people come here, with a single link to us all being our lifestyle interests. And even though that sounds rather broad and all-defining, the truth is, we all go about this lifestyle *differently*. I don't use third, i use lower case when i can remember to, and when i started out, having started out in a chatroom catered to M/s when i was younger, i did use slashy-speak - and, i suppose, thanks to my brilliant adjusting powers, i've done fine - both understanding and mimicking such styles. I have a large interest in linguistics generally. 'English' and properly done, grammatically correct english at that, is *one* lonely little language in a list of languages that are equally as beautiful regardless of how the sentence is constructed - and i cant say ive ever found it an inconvenience to try to understand another persons meaning, regardless of how they spoke. Im sure a lot of interesting points have been missed by you were your patience to be truly that short - which to be honest, im inclined to think its not. Reading your posts, i'd have to say that you exude a vague intolerance of things. I find that an alarming trait in people. Slashy and 3rd arent doing anyone any damage, theyre part of a lifestyle choice taken on by people who are *in this lifestyle* - i should think that would be all the respect it needs at this point. 2 Sep 10, 6:48 AM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs bastets_daughter wrote: This is a web-board. All kinds of *different* (please stress that in your mind) people come here, with a single link to us all being our lifestyle interests. And even though that sounds rather broad and all-defining, the truth is, we all go about this lifestyle *differently*. I don't use third, i use lower case when i can remember to, and when i started out, having started out in a chatroom catered to M/s when i was younger, i did use slashy-speak - and, i suppose, thanks to my brilliant adjusting powers, i've done fine - both understanding and mimicking such styles. I have a large interest in linguistics generally. 'English' and properly done, grammatically correct english at that, is *one* lonely little language in a list of languages that are equally as beautiful regardless of how the sentence is constructed - and i cant say ive ever found it an inconvenience to try to understand another persons meaning, regardless of how they spoke. Im sure a lot of interesting points have been missed by you were your patience to be truly that short - which to be honest, im inclined to think its not. Reading your posts, i'd have to say that you exude a vague intolerance of things. I find that an alarming trait in people. Slashy and 3rd arent doing anyone any damage, theyre part of a lifestyle choice taken on by people who are *in this lifestyle* - i should think that would be all the respect it needs at this point. Based on the general drift of your post (and because 562-470-768 is no longer a member of TSR), I understand that your comments are in response to my own. But beyond that, I'm not very clear re: your meaning in general and/or what parts of the text you've quoted you're responding to. While I'm happy enough to explain/discuss/debate any ideas I post to these boards, I do think it's fair to expect more than what you've offered to support/explain your statements. Quoting the specific statements that you've based your rebuttals on, an explanation of why you've interpreted them in the way that you have or how the ideas you've offered here serve as rebuttal to my own - things of that nature would be helpful to me. Thank you, Eva (The property formerly known as Camille ) 2 Sep 10, 7:25 AM bastets_daughter 2 yrs shrug. i've said what i need to say on the subject, you've said what you needed to say multiple times on the subject - and we disagree. 2 Sep 10, 9:35 AM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs bastets_daughter wrote: shrug. i've said what i need to say on the subject, you've said what you needed to say multiple times on the subject - and we disagree. To me, this is the equivalent of saying "It means whatever you think it means!", "Take it any way you want!" or even sticking one's tongue out and then hiding behind the nearest tree - useful as a schoolyard gambit but inappropriate in a topical discussion between adults. It's inaccurate as well - how to tell whether we disagree? I've been clear in that I don't understand your meaning and as far as I can tell, you haven't understood mine. Better to work toward mutual understanding, I think. Eva (The property formerly known as Camille ) 2 Sep 10, 11:26 AM bastets_daughter 2 yrs oh now darn. i've gone and replied by memo and now everyone will think i gave up the ghost - this discussion has been beautiful, and i do believe its exhausted me.