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9 Feb 2012, 10:15 AM GMT
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TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Slave Contract Question" 1 2
Slave Contract Question (17)
This post is on the O&P web board.
Thu 31 Dec 09, 2:23 PM 757-583-471 UK, 2 yrs  |
I am an unowned slave (though with past experience). I hope to find a new Master/Mistress soon. I have been wondering whether or not it would be a good idea to have a Slave Contract in place when this happy day arrives and I am once again owned.
Can you give me your thoughts on this and, if possible, point me in the direction of a good draft Slave Contract?
Many thanks,
Corbin
PS. I hope I have placed this question on the correct board. |
31 Dec 09, 6:38 PM francesca 2 yrs |
i don't think your future Dom would appreciate you going to Them with a contract that YOU want to serve. The contract should be Their final word, not yours. Though if you want to have a draft contract that you can show Them saying basically, these are the things i will do for You but feel free to add/take away as You'd like... That would present a better picture for Them.
Google is your friend... just food for thought.
Here's just a few i found on google.
http://www.milism.net/contract.htm
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/1648381/Slave-Contra...
http://www.bearpair.com/Leather/Contracts/contra...
http://www.hanlithorn.com/Slave-Contract.php
http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=12775 |
31 Dec 09, 9:14 PM Umbramajoris_01 US(AL), 2 yrs Y! |
I did not set up a contract with My slave, but some do feel better having a contract. I believe if a slave wished for me to have a "contract" that I would not hesitate to have one drawn up. (I guess it "would" help against confusion to know in "black and white".) I would consider a "contract" more knowing I don't collar on a whim.
Umbramajoris |
31 Dec 09, 9:45 PM thaisa 2 yrs |
One that I found useful is at
http://lifeofaslave.org
Thaisa |
31 Dec 09, 11:26 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs 
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Ours is online here:
http://paganbdsm.org/joshcontract.html
-Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge.
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1 Jan 10, 2:24 AM 888-654-361 US(NC), 4 yrs Y! |
YET....Always remember...as an unowned sub/slave NO Dom has any hold on u...the ONLY thing u owe him is respect as he also should give u...sometime this is a most delicate undertakin when one is unowned because u only have urself for protection....any RESPECTABLE Dom will ask an unowned sub/slave he will not or should never command one that is not his....all the best my sister in bondage and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!! DADDYS BABY GIRL
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1 Jan 10, 4:58 AM Umbramajoris_01 US(AL), 2 yrs Y! |
888-654-361 wrote:
YET....Always remember...as an unowned sub/slave NO Dom has any hold on u...the ONLY thing u owe him is respect as he also should give u...sometime this is a most delicate undertakin when one is unowned because u only have urself for protection....any RESPECTABLE Dom will ask an unowned sub/slave he will not or should never command one that is not his....all the best my sister in bondage and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!
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Very good advice! One still has to be careful that you know about what you are getting into!
Umbramajoris |
1 Jan 10, 5:00 PM Zarabeth UK, 2 yrs Y!
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I have read this, and am reading your book as well, which contains some of the rules you use. I found both very interesting, but I wonder if you would be willing to talk a bit more about the process by which the contract was created (especially the first version)?
I was negociating a D/s contract a few weeks ago, and although those negociations subsequently ended without resulting in a relationship, we had a clear process that we intended to use. He had used D/s contracts before, and showed me some of the previous ones he had used to illustrate how they had been personalised to take account of individual differences in his previous submissives. It was then intended that I would (using these and other sample contracts as inspiration) write a draft to be used as the basis for negociation, and the version agreed on by both parties would last for one year, to be renegociated after that.
However, whenever this idea (the submissive writing a draft contract to be used as a basis for discussion) is mentioned in threads, the responce is usually along the lines of: the Dominant must write the contract, and the submissive must agree to whatever that is. This, in my view, presents two difficulties: 1) it is not conducive to negociation, and 2) it squashes creative input from the submissive.
In our case, he felt that as he had used contracts before (but I had not) he already had a much better idea of what he needed from a D/s relationship and what he had experienced in the past. I, on the other hand, needed to make sure I examined a wide range of ideas (some of which may not have been applicable to previous submissives and therefore were not in the samples he had shown me) to identify my own individual needs and concerns.
It should also be noted, in the question of who "should" write the draft of the contract to be used for initial discussion, that there is a difference between doing the grunt work of research and typing up a draft (which can be regarded as a service or assignment) and having the final say in ironing out differences of opinion on content or format (which is a matter of control).
757-583-471 wrote:
I have been wondering whether or not it would be a good idea to have a Slave Contract in place when this happy day arrives and I am once again owned.
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Personally, I think it is an excellent idea to write a sample contract, even if you did not end up using it in a subsequent relationship, because the process of researching and drafting your ideas will expose you to numerous concepts that you might not have thought of to discuss during negociations.
However, I would be careful to think of it as a sample or draft, rather than a contract that you present to be signed and have "in place", as you have no way of knowing now what a future owner you have not met yet will want in a contract, or whether they will want one at all.
mari
"Every day is another chance to turn it all around."
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2 Jan 10, 4:08 PM 757-583-471 UK, 2 yrs  |
Thank you to everyone who replied to this thread and to those of you who provided some really great links which have given me a lot to think about.
By the way, to the Masters present, please do not think that this slave would ever be presumptuous enough to present a contract to his next owner. It would be the basis of a respectful request to review and if my new Master said no, that would - of course - be the end of it.
By the way, I am happy to report that four potential Masters are now considering me. I am happy and excited for the first time since I was last owned, around fifteen years ago.
All thanks to this wonderful site ...  |
2 Jan 10, 4:58 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs 
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marigolde wrote:
I have read this, and am reading your book as well, which contains some of the rules you use. I found both very interesting, but I wonder if you would be willing to talk a bit more about the process by which the contract was created (especially the first version)?
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We wrote it together. He was in school at the time, finishing up a semester and getting ready to move up to live with me, so hashing out our contract thoroughly was one of the few things we could do long-distance.
Basically, I did do the initial writing (I'm a writer) and then he brought up issues with wording that he thought could be changed, and we negotiated out each point together until both of us were satisfied with everything in it. It took months to iron out every bit (in Myers-Briggs terms I'm an INTJ and he's a ISTJ, so we are both intellectual nit-pickers who want to know exactly where things stand before we agree to them).
We also left room for renegotiation of points on a yearly basis, because we knew that everything needs beta-testing, circumstances change, and no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. Some small changes had to be made on our one-year anniversary of contract signing, but since then we've not felt the need to renegotiate anything. We seem to have found our rut and fallen into it happily.
I would say that the best thing that contract-building together did for us is that it laid out both our expectations and made sure that we were both on the same page about this relationship and what it would entail. All that hashing out meant that nobody was going to say, later, "But I didn't think you meant *that*!"
-Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge.
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2 Jan 10, 6:04 PM goreankajira US(OH), 4 yrs Y!
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JMO but a contract should be written either solely by the Master or together. i feel it is inappropriate for a slave to present a Master with a contract, unless the Master specifically asked the slave to do so. Edited 2 Jan 10, 6:05 PM by goreankajira
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