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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "How to explain being submissive to close family?" 1 2 How to explain being submissive to close family? (15) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Wed 2 Dec 09, 3:56 AM Ettiennes_slut US(OR), 2 yrs Hello. If this subject has already been covered and i simply couldn't find it, please let me know. i have always been a very independent, opinionated feminist. i am in charge of a small company. For the last ten plus years, i have made my own way, taken care of my finances, my home, and raised two wonderful boys, with little help from their father after our divorce. Almost since the beginning of my journey of discovery into my submissive side (over a year ago), my Mom has been my confidant. This last Thanksgiving, she told me that she cannot understand how her strong-willed, feminist, independent daughter could behave this way. In her opinion, i have taken women back two generations. i tried to explain why this is important to me, why it is right, but she just shook her head and said she didn't get it. She is, after almost 70 years, finally in a relationship in which she is treated as an equal. She can't understand why anyone would want anything else. Because of this, i couldn't bring myself to tell her that He Owns me; she has a hard enough time accepting D/s. Does anyone have an idea about how to explain this life? Or is it just not possible? If this was anyone other than my Mom, i wouldn't even try. Ettiennes_slut 2 Dec 09, 4:18 AM marysOwner US(HI), 2 yrs Y! While I really have no idea who you are or to what extent your submissive side goes, it would be appreciative if you would indulge me as I offer some insight. You desire to be owned may be adversely proportionate to your professional life. After being in control all day long at your career, you may feel a need to come home and relax by giving up all control. This in turn may help you great the next day at your work with a more positive attitude. Don't know if that helps, but if I was in your situation, this would be the point I would bring up. Edited 2 Dec 09, 4:19 AM by marysOwner 2 Dec 09, 5:01 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs Lol, I have a friend and colleague who also said he didn't really understand me being submissive. He said I would be the last person he would think of, if asked if he knew any submissives. I am in a management position and come into contact with hundreds of oil workers daily. Since learning of my "other life" outside of work,over a year ago, he has been openminded enough, asking both Master and myself questions and has done some research. Recently, we took him with us to a sex trade show, explained many implements , took him to the dungeon there and stayed long enough for him to see a few demonstrations. It certainly opened his eyes. He himself is not interested in the lifestyle but he now understands a bit more and has always been a supportive friend. Part of it may be because he knows I am safe, happy, loved and content. Others who are aware are also supportive. I am selective about who is aware, Master is very open to most people. You may try telling your Mother that although she may not understand, you are happy, the life you live agrees with you and that regardless of what she may feel, you hope she will support your decision. As she sees how the two of you interact and the constant smile on your face, she will more than likely change her opinion, be happy for you or at the very least, realize you have the life meant for you. All the best to you on your journey. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away Edited 2 Dec 09, 5:09 AM by 333-528-841 2 Dec 09, 5:33 AM 825-768-571 US, 5 yrs Ettiennes_slut wrote: How to explain being submissive to close family? Hello. If this subject has already been covered and i simply couldn't find it, please let me know. i have always been a very independent, opinionated feminist. i am in charge of a small company. For the last ten plus years, i have made my own way, taken care of my finances, my home, and raised two wonderful boys, with little help from their father after our divorce. Almost since the beginning of my journey of discovery into my submissive side (over a year ago), my Mom has been my confidant. This last Thanksgiving, she told me that she cannot understand how her strong-willed, feminist, independent daughter could behave this way. In her opinion, i have taken women back two generations. i tried to explain why this is important to me, why it is right, but she just shook her head and said she didn't get it. She is, after almost 70 years, finally in a relationship in which she is treated as an equal. She can't understand why anyone would want anything else. Because of this, i couldn't bring myself to tell her that He Owns me; she has a hard enough time accepting D/s. Does anyone have an idea about how to explain this life? Or is it just not possible? If this was anyone other than my Mom, i wouldn't even try. [/quote i hear your dilemia , and try to let mother know that you are intelligent enough to be in the hands of Someone you can trust . maybe point out , draw comparisons to your {vanilla }life track record to back up THE life track record . moms worry , and dont always "get " us and this a big "get " .i doubt i would share this with a mom , but you did say share a close relationship .. have to say , for me , its not fodder for family hour . i respect your situation though .this comes to mind .. just cause you can , doesnt mean you should ... perahps too late for that however . tell her , as my M told me a million times til it made sense , that power can not be taken from the powerless, and that you are sane and safe . i have close friends who know that i am owned and have great misconceptions about the life i chose , and my life with Master , and i just ask them to not judge me . my confidence , and my utter devotion to Master is all i need any given day . i would love to have them know more, understand more , but its enough to have them listen to answers to their questions, and let me be me . with the love and care i am gifted with , by Master , i am content ,and fulfilled , and that makes me a better everything. of course at first glance the outside vanilla world would assume we are less than strong , but personally i have never been so free, filed with strength and determination , absolutely because of the Master i serve . of my own free will . so maybe your mother will see that in you as well . best of luck where i belong , owned by One 2 Dec 09, 4:57 PM 650-736-585 GR, 2 yrs Ettiennes_slut wrote: How to explain being submissive to close family? Hello. If this subject has already been covered and i simply couldn't find it, please let me know. i have always been a very independent, opinionated feminist. i am in charge of a small company. For the last ten plus years, i have made my own way, taken care of my finances, my home, and raised two wonderful boys, with little help from their father after our divorce. Almost since the beginning of my journey of discovery into my submissive side (over a year ago), my Mom has been my confidant. This last Thanksgiving, she told me that she cannot understand how her strong-willed, feminist, independent daughter could behave this way. In her opinion, i have taken women back two generations. i tried to explain why this is important to me, why it is right, but she just shook her head and said she didn't get it. She is, after almost 70 years, finally in a relationship in which she is treated as an equal. She can't understand why anyone would want anything else. Because of this, i couldn't bring myself to tell her that He Owns me; she has a hard enough time accepting D/s. Does anyone have an idea about how to explain this life? Or is it just not possible? If this was anyone other than my Mom, i wouldn't even try. I think exactly because you're so strong and manage your own company, raised two kids by your self, etc. made you loose your balance. There are times when we need to be submissive and times we need to be rebellious in our daily lives. Even 24/7 slaves have their moments where they "impose" to someone else their power and/or opinions; even on the grocery boy shouting the potatoes aren't fresh! So... I think you feel the need to leave for once all responsibilities on someone else and say he's in charge now. Which, in my humble opinion, is not a bad thing. From what it seems, so far, you've been very strong and made a wonderful job... Maybe now you feel the need to go home after administrating your own business and leave the decision to someone else: e.g.: Now it's time to relax, now for sex, now for a walk etc... NOT your responsibility any more. And, frankly, I see nothing wrong on that. Sometimes, resting yourself in the arms and responsibilities of someone else, in needed. There is some "freedom" in submitting to someone else... or to make it deeper: There's joy in trusting yourself to someone else completely. Maybe that's what missing in your life so far, and now the urge gets stronger as the kids grow and you realize that you've given enough... Now it is time for you to take... via submission. Just a thought... I hope my crappy english make sense. ^_^; • I humbly ask for your tolerance and forgiveness to my ignorance. 2 Dec 09, 7:14 PM slaveheatherleigh US(DE), 4 yrs my close friends know and some don't quite understand especially in work and such i have a strong personality and in work was one in charge. As for family, both parents are 80 so all they know is my new Master/man makes me very happy. That is all my mom wants for me as she knows i have searched for some time now. I am moving to Him this month and again when told my mom she was not surprised. She is just glad i am very happy. In time I think she would understand but she doesn't have to. Some understand, some it is beyond understanding and with that best just to let them know you are very happy with your ONE. 2 Dec 09, 7:57 PM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs i think this thread is interesting because i am the exact opposite. The people that know aren't really surprised. Everyone says i'm laid back, everyone can see i prefer the company of men in a vanilla situation and everyone can see my mind is always in the gutter lol. i prefer the least control in any situation including work, and now i just work for Master. Vanilla relationships are downright frustrating for me and i can't think of too many i have, just neighbors and family really. So i do completely understand the strong woman wanting to let go in private, i wonder if i am the only one with no strong side at all? 898-443-818 Edited to add, none of our family know. It is just not something we feel the need to share. If i get an odd question i just tell them to ask my Husband. We do have some vanilla friends that know & are extremely accepting. We do have a few cousins that probably *know* but we haven't had any long discussions with them. i usually just get odd questions regarding my slrn tattoo, to which i say it is a "thing" between my Husband and i. Or i say it's just kinky and most people leave it at that. Once in awhile i have to have someone ask Master 'cuz they won't just leave it alone-He pretty much just tells the truth outright and they are sorry they pushed the matter LOL. Edited 2 Dec 09, 8:00 PM by 898-443-818 2 Dec 09, 10:42 PM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs For me, I do not think it is a matter of being a naturally strong woman and wanting to let go or give up control in my private life. I was raised in a 50's style family where my father always had the final say but I have worked hard to get to where I am. I was expected of me to have a good strong work ethic. I have never had the choice. Although I am in a management position, my style is quite laid back with my employees. I do not necessarily like confrontation but it is sometimes part of my job as I deal with clients as much as with my staff. I would much prefer to negotiate with people but it is not always possible. I really hate saying no to anyone and it usually makes me feel bad but that is part of my job as well. If anything, it can at times create more stress than contentment, but on the whole I love what I do and have to take the good with the bad as my profession gives me a very good living. That is the persona my colleagues see and hence why some would be suprised and not understand. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away 3 Dec 09, 5:13 PM Sevdah US(MN), 2 yrs this subject has come up before, look up this thread... What do you tell friends/family when questioned... it might help. with respect, Sevdah. i am still new here i mean no offense to anyone. 3 Dec 09, 6:41 PM Master_Teel US(TX), 4 yrs You mean this thread? Master_Teel Use Google to search SD: http://www.google.com/advanced_search?q=+site:se... 3 Dec 09, 10:51 PM 898-443-818 US, 5 yrs Etienne, i don't think it is a big deal to bring up an "old" subject. i'm sure there are good ideas in this thread & good ideas in that one 898-443-818 Next page