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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Service in O&P" Service in O&P (9) Sat 28 Nov 09, 9:25 PM Tanos UK, 12 yrs Y! Being served is one of the principal reasons why owners and dominants invest their time in establishing O&P relationships. Service is not limited to the stereotype of domestic work plus sexual use, but can also include companionship, acting as a social secretary, managing accounts, improving the house, and learning new skills. Service reinforces the difference in status between servant and master, and provides opportunities to overcome feelings of false entitlement and misplaced pride. And yet good service is also something to take pride in providing, and a submissive who serves well is someone to be proud of. How do you see service in the relationship you're in or seeking? Regards, Tanos www.tanos.org.uk O&P: Possession. Ownership. Consent. Responsibility. Respect. House. Dignity. Authenticity. Structure. Rituals. 29 Nov 09, 1:26 AM thegildedlili AU, 20 mths Y! i feel the most whole and authentic when i am in service. it's a very real need of mine to have someone i can devote myself to and serve in whatever way they see fit, and it gives me more fulfillment than absolutely anything i could do for myself alone. even when i achieve great things in my own life, it feels meaningless without someone whose name i am doing it in. when i am single (like now), my life feels a little lacking in direction and meaning, even though on the face of it i have a lot of both of those things. i suppose the key differences between "working" for someone or being in a vanilla relationship are the asymmetry, and being owned, and knowing i am there for that person's pleasure, or to somehow enhance their life, sometimes to the detriment of my own wants or needs. being devoted to someone in a vanilla relationship, in my experience anyway, is not appreciated or accepted to anywhere near the same extent as it is in an O&P relationship, whatever its basis. i often read posts from subs or slaves who don't seem like the service aspects of their relationships, particularly domestic service, and i can't relate to that mindset at all. i don't particularly like housework et al if i'm just doing it for myself, but like i said before, doing it as service to someone else changes my perspective on it completely. one other comment; i think i have a lot to offer, and i'd really prefer to be with someone who was able to utilise those skills and talents to maximise the comfort and service i could provide to them. being of service just sexually for example would feel like a waste for me, but obviously at the end of the day it's not about what i think or want, or even my perception of what might make someone else more comfortable. i have no need, for such things, but to make you happy... Josh Pyke 29 Nov 09, 2:20 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 9 mths Y! When I think of Service, a quote from the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. comes to mind: "Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve... you only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love." Service for me is not a list of activities that I do for a Master, it is an attitude, a virtue I strive to cultivate within myself so that when I serve a Master it is with a "heart full of grace" regardless the task, large or small, important or unimportant in the grand scheme of things. For me, Service encompasses: using all my gifts to be of service in the fullest expression of my submissiveness towards my Master. Each day, finding a multitude of ways to be useful. Whatever I may acheive, the quality of my life comes from the quality of my contributions. First and foremost I serve my Master. I notice what my Master needs, discover his wishes, and respond helpfully. I don't wait to be asked. A spirit of service invests whatever I do with excellence. I give my best effort. I work with wholehearted enthusiasm. And lastly, I give freely of my time and attention. Of particular importance I think is the "don't wait to be asked," sometimes a person might not even realize they need something done for them, a small service, until you do it... and then that aha moment kicks in... and it is "oh yes, right, that needed to be done." With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair 29 Nov 09, 6:11 PM 672-394-817 FI, 13 mths For me service is the core of my slavery. It is a strong need in me to serve, it gives me joy and fulfillment and it is very rewarding to make Lady happy. It brings up the best features in my character, I feel I am at my best when I get to serve Her. It also gives me a chance to use and develop many different skills. Lady appreciates my service though She doesnīt always say it aloud. I can see it from Her eyes and hear it from Her voice. I couldnīt just be a "pet", I need to serve and feel that Iīm useful. slave Anelma 29 Nov 09, 6:50 PM Owned_by_De_Luxe UK, 2 yrs The service aspect is at the heart of our relationship. Once I signed up for this, it was established that everything I was - and could be capable of being - were from then on to be directed towards my lady's happiness. Right from making her smile, doing the washing up, keeping logs on the the fire, to more 'personal services' and even Rich Tea origami (don't ask). A lot of the things I do for my lady are done without being asked. Not because I'm totally wonderful and selfless, but because it makes me feel good to do so. So yes, for me there's pride in good service too. Because a good service is reflected in my lady's well-being - and that is something to take pride in. 2 Jan 10, 9:50 PM 186-306-559 US(NC), 12 mths I agree with You. Service can include all of the things You mentioned. As a slave, I have been learning this. In the beginning, I was a bit spoiled because Master spent most of His time involving me in the less mundane areas of service. Some were sexual. Some were in stretching my limits of pain. Some were pure pleasure. Now I serve by cleaning, taking care of Him when He is sick, shopping, paying bills, etc. I have learned to see all of it as a pleasure because I am serving Master. Tanos wrote: Service in O&P Being served is one of the principal reasons why owners and dominants invest their time in establishing O&P relationships. Service is not limited to the stereotype of domestic work plus sexual use, but can also include companionship, acting as a social secretary, managing accounts, improving the house, and learning new skills. Service reinforces the difference in status between servant and master, and provides opportunities to overcome feelings of false entitlement and misplaced pride. And yet good service is also something to take pride in providing, and a submissive who serves well is someone to be proud of. How do you see service in the relationship you're in or seeking? Regards, Tanos 3 Jan 10, 1:11 AM ravenkaldera US(MA), 4 yrs Service is the basic underlying premise of our dynamic. Joshua needs to serve, needs to feel useful, and I work him pretty hard. I really enjoy being served. It makes me feel pampered. I think that our dynamic being more about service than control is the basis of my absolute-obedience-no-exceptions policy. I know that for more control-oriented slaves, when I talk about that, they become uncomfortable. But it's very important to me, because I need Joshua to be dead reliable. If you've incorporated a service slave into your life, and you depend on them - not just for little things like serving tea or cleaning the floor, but big things like making your business appointments and filling your med-minder and checking to make sure that there are no allergens in that packaged food - that's a position of huge trust for the master, and no one talks about that. No one talks about how much trust the master has to put out in order to allow themselves to be dependent on the slave coming through with what they're told. Joshua is also my PCA and takes care of my medical issues, so that's an even bigger area of trust. For him, the fact that I find him trustworthy enough to take care of these things is a huge compliment and pushes him to do his best. He got into a conversation with a bunch of other slaves about making mistakes in one's service, and there was an assumption among them that they were just going to have bad days and fuck up, and that it should be excused. He pointed out that (unlike any of them) he had been raised by a family of medical and health care personnel, and cops. He grew up with the concept of: you serve, you get up and do your damn best every single day no matter how you feel, and there's no room for "oops", because someone might get hurt. I can see how that upbringing has colored his approach to service. I've learned a lot about accepting service gracefully and usefully in this relationship. It's more than just sitting back and accepting your peeled grape. It's giving useful feedback as well as appreciation, and helping them to polish their work. I was appalled when I heard a bunch of doms talking about how they just humor their subs and pretend to be pleased when the sub does a service they don't really want. That's wrong on so many levels. Dishonesty aside, they can't improve and polish their service to you if you don't tell them honestly what you do and don't want, and a good service sub will *want* to do what pleases you. Denying them that for the sop of a "sure honey, that's nice" does no one any favors. -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 7 Apr 10, 4:30 PM thineown UK, 3 yrs Service is a minor part of it all for me and the fact that it is also a minor part for the man I adore, is one of the reasons I do. I want to be for him not merely do for him. That is just us though 8 Apr 10, 7:55 AM 562-470-768 7 mths /me smiles and greets all, this girl serves. she serves in all and any way she can, with or without Master commanding her to. she serves with her heart, she serves with her soul and she serves with her body. not a day goes by tht she does not pass out exhausted. not a day goes by that she does not do so with pride, peace and a deep seated feeling of 'just being'. being herself, being happy, being used and useful, being emotionally, mentally and physically cared for, being internally leashed and yet very free within her chains, being mother, being wife, being teacher, being slave... being. serving is a big part, for even without the tags of this lifestyle, in an ordinary world with orndinary relationships, we serve. we serve ourselves, society, partners family and friends on various levels. marriage is a form of service, raising children, etc... this girl does not believe you can truly seperate the serving aspect from the rest... why would want need a partner then? and do we not also serve ourselves by having goals, direction, motivation, etc to continue through life? Serve ourselves by washing, cleaning and dressign ourselves? (and put in that place - a very inpopular theory to follow!- then even if it is just the self, but Tops, Dominents , Owners... serve too) unless this girl completely and utterly misunderstood the context of this conversation - and apologise if she did - she would stand on the point that says :: as part of everyday life, one serves, either yourself, or society or the ones in the environment of your choosing.. but one serves. in this girls mind, there is NO WAY, that one can get away from that! We are all vanilla to some degree - for society will keep a foothold in our lives. We are all Dom/mes or slave/sub on some level, as there is ALWAYS someone weaker or stronger than you... 19 Apr 10, 7:57 AM 408-004-867 US(OR), 2 yrs my service to Sir is what i breathe for. I have many chores, I serve as his maid and i love every second of it. Also i serve him in every other way, and love every second. I couldn't imagine a day without serving Him.