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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "I feel.... strange" I feel.... strange (8) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Sun 1 Nov 09, 4:26 AM Just_Angel US(CO), 5 yrs £ Y! Maybe it's because I'm staying home this halloween, but I got to thinking and indulging in some introspection. I've been unowned for just over three years. My last relationship was long term and meaningful, but despite best efforts, it ended. I know who I am, what I am, and why I am that person. I, by all normal standards, have a good life with a good job and good friends. As a slave, I have a list of skills and things I am proficient in, and I continue to expand those skills to make the most of my time unowned. I've seen the one who owned me since the breakup, and no tears fall. I feel that I have moved on from the relationship we had. So how, after over three years, have I not found a suitable owner? The more I think about this, the less it makes sense. Everywhere I turn, it seems that I find men and Masters who want a slave. I go out and meet people and read the profiles of people available, so I know there is someone out there. Could there be something I'm doing wrong? Is it strange to go so long and not have any serious options. Edited to correct sentence structure issue. "Yet when I meet your stare ~ I feel something there ~ Oh, no, I will not go with you ~ But pray tell me why ~ I must gaze in your eye ~ Tell me what do I hope to see? ~ Something dark calls to me" ~Heather Alexander Edited Sun 1 Nov 09, 7:30 AM by Just_Angel 1 Nov 09, 6:37 AM Master_Odin US(KS), 3 yrs Just_Angel wrote: I feel.... strange Could there be something I'm doing wrong? Is it strange to go so long and not have any serious options. (There seems to be a lot of flux in definitions in the BDSM world lately, so please understand that I come from the position that a slave is property, fully owned and will obey their Master/Owner in all things, which is different from a Dominant/Submissive relationship in which each member has a say. Not one better than the other, just different. If you are using these terms differently, the following may not apply.) If I were looking for another girl, when I read in your profile that you are heterosexual and poly, I don't think slave/property. Your description of your employment suggests that staying employed as you are is a hard limit. Again, this does not suggest to me slave/property. On the other hand, if you aren't looking to be owned, you might have better luck advertising for a Dominant rather than a Master. These are my initial thoughts for what they may or may not be worth. Selah There is no authority, only responsibility. 1 Nov 09, 7:13 AM Just_Angel US(CO), 5 yrs £ Y! Selah, I understand your meaning, and you are correct in that I should clarify. Thank you. It is a bit funny that you responded as I was writing out new profile text. I do maintain that I am heterosexual, and I would prefer to find someone who would allow me to maintain that status. At the same time, I understand that bisexuality is a big draw and there are those who prefer girls who like girls. I do maintain that I am polyamorous. It has not thusfar been an issue as far as my being a slave goes, but that could be because my former owner and I were not sexual at all. Poly doesn't mean that I have free reign to run around humping who I like, but that my sexual leanings are toward multiple men. Ideally, this would be one owner and two approved lovers, but this is only an ideal. My employment is more fluid. I work from home, and I began doing so because it made me more available for service. The employment lines in my (now previous) profile were more to state two things. The first is that I have nude pictures out there in the open for others to see, not all of which I would have the option to pull down because of who the rights belong to. The second is to make it clear that I am not entering this type of situation out of need, but rather a deep desire to serve. I find that a great many slaves have personal and professional lives that fall apart when they are not owned, leaving them to need an owner for financial reasons. I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on why being heterosexual or polyamorous would be a turn off to a looking owner, and I thank you very much for your feedback. Angel "Yet when I meet your stare ~ I feel something there ~ Oh, no, I will not go with you ~ But pray tell me why ~ I must gaze in your eye ~ Tell me what do I hope to see? ~ Something dark calls to me" ~Heather Alexander 1 Nov 09, 5:48 PM Master_Odin US(KS), 3 yrs Just_Angel wrote: I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on why being heterosexual or polyamorous would be a turn off to a looking owner, and I thank you very much for your feedback. Angel These come across as 'hard limits'. Someone looking for a slave/property usually isn't looking for limits to their authority. (Again, this assumes we are using 'Master' and 'slave' in the same way. Reading this and other boards, it is very possible that we are not) Assuming the limits are circumvented, it isn't heterosexual OR polyamorous, as much as it is heterosexual AND polyamorous that might be an issue. Heterosexual female and poly requires two+ males. This would mean a prospective owner would need to be either willing to take you on knowing they were going to share you with other males, or take you on knowing they had no intention to fulfill a significant need in your life. (I am an owner that doesn't share well ) If you are looking for complete ownership, these jump out at me as being speed bumps. If these really are hard limits, advertising for a D/s relationship might help direct your profile to Dominants that are looking for a submissive. But as always, YMMV. Selah There is no authority, only responsibility. 1 Nov 09, 8:49 PM 190-705-119 US, 2 yrs first, let me just say that i am approaching your dilemma from a different direction than that of Master Odin. also let me say that i am an unowned slave also. with those things out of the way, the point i would like to make is that perhaps your circle of availability is not large enough to provide someone suitable for your needs. i agree with Master Odin that you must first delineate your own needs but i do know from experience that there seems sometimes to be a shortage of lifestyle people within a geographic area. even with the miracles of instant communication it takes time and also the personal touch (i.e., work on your part) to find someone to 'fit'. i've been on the journey for 3+ years now and i think maybe i've found someone real. but only time and more effort on my part will prove me right or wrong. i wish you all the best of luck and much speed in your quest but i do remind you that happily-ever-after only happens with a lot of work on your part. submissive_maria the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment. 2 Nov 09, 5:02 PM Just_Angel US(CO), 5 yrs £ Y! Master_Odin wrote: These come across as 'hard limits'. Someone looking for a slave/property usually isn't looking for limits to their authority. (Again, this assumes we are using 'Master' and 'slave' in the same way. Reading this and other boards, it is very possible that we are not) Assuming the limits are circumvented, it isn't heterosexual OR polyamorous, as much as it is heterosexual AND polyamorous that might be an issue. Heterosexual female and poly requires two+ males. This would mean a prospective owner would need to be either willing to take you on knowing they were going to share you with other males, or take you on knowing they had no intention to fulfill a significant need in your life. (I am an owner that doesn't share well ) If you are looking for complete ownership, these jump out at me as being speed bumps. If these really are hard limits, advertising for a D/s relationship might help direct your profile to Dominants that are looking for a submissive. But as always, YMMV. Selah It may be an issue of communication, or it may be part of the seemingly endless debate on limits. It may be neither, but I'll see if I can clarify. I understand the idea of an owned person being owned with no limitations on power. At the same time, I would not choose to be owned by a person I thought might kill me when my term of service was coming to a close. This probably makes death a "limit" for me. This is an extreme example of why negotiation before ownership is so important. I would like to find someone who either preferred me to be or would allow me to remain heterosexual. I understand that with all the bisexual girls in line that this might narrow my playing field some. To address the poly issue in conjunction with the heterosexual issue, I am looking for someone who shares well. To say that he would not fill an important role in my life would be the incorrect side of that. An Owner would fill the most important role in my life. Lovers outside of that, or in conjunction with that would be secondary concerns. I am happy to say that I am friends with several "M-types" that share their girls well, and I wish to find someone with a similar perspective. So, in the end, heterosexuality, polyamory, and my career are not limits to someone's power so much as considerations to be made during negotiation. One of the people I went to for insight at the beginning of my journey told me that the more information I can provide someone, the better. The points I list in my ads and profiles can hopefully be seen as simply relavant information as to who I am. "Yet when I meet your stare ~ I feel something there ~ Oh, no, I will not go with you ~ But pray tell me why ~ I must gaze in your eye ~ Tell me what do I hope to see? ~ Something dark calls to me" ~Heather Alexander 5 Nov 09, 1:02 AM Master_Odin US(KS), 3 yrs Just_Angel wrote: So, in the end, heterosexuality, polyamory, and my career are not limits to someone's power so much as considerations to be made during negotiation. That is not how it came across when I read it cold. Making that a bit more clear might serve you well. Selah There is no authority, only responsibility. 5 Nov 09, 2:54 AM 741-498-880 4 yrs I met my Owner on craigslist. I worded my add "Seeks old fashioned relationship" Try finding a dominant man in some other area of your life thats open to BDSM. There are a few things I could think of that might also be an issue. 1. your age/experience in the lifestyle. for a less experienced man, this may be incredibly intimidating. 2. The fact that you have your shit together and know exactly what you want, may intimidate a lot of men. 3. potentially it could also be your weight. I took a look at your pictures, and you have a very pretty face, but you are quite a bit over-weight. this may turn a lot of men off, and may take you a while to find someone who doesn't care about weight. I know that it's not fair to you, especially if you have a great personality and are a nice person, but men like what they like and some aren't willing to over look that. Those are just a couple of things off the top of my head. I know that when I said I could be anything he wanted me to be, that I could adapt to fit any situation (and was capable of doing it...) it opened a lot of potential doors for partners for me. i found my perfect match with out having to settle on anything, but I didn't met him in a kink thing, I met him on craigslist. I wish you the best of luck. -emma Edited 5 Nov 09, 2:55 AM by 741-498-880 5 Nov 09, 8:45 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs Just_Angel wrote: I feel.... strange So how, after over three years, have I not found a suitable owner? The more I think about this, the less it makes sense. We think perhaps because you haven't been, and aren't, ready. When the slave is ready, the Master appears (and vice versa). Master Fire **The power of who we are can be intoxicating.** **The power of who we could be is humbling.** **Yet, we are assured we are exactly as we should be.**