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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "unloved" 1 2 3 unloved (27) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 31 Oct 09, 1:02 AM DignifiedXDisease US(WI), 3 yrs it would not scare me. i cherish every moment in which he shows me affection. that is a valid point, i just dont think it apples here. Posting with permission and constant supervision. May I someday wear his mark and collar. 31 Oct 09, 12:02 PM 111-759-177 US, 3 yrs There are may different types of love. Romantic love being only one. Perhaps you could be perfectly happy feeling the love of a master for their slave. The love of an owner for their property. Just because he's told you he won't fall "in love" with you, doesn't mean, in time, he won't come to love you as his slave, his property. The love a slave has for their master can be a very powerful emotion. In this girl's opinion, probably stronger than the romantic, stars in your eyes, in love, kind of love. It's often very easy to confuse the two. Perhaps discussing it with him may allow you to discover that he's perfectly willing to let himself love you as his property even though he won't allow himself to love you romantically. Either way, if you can't bring yourself to discuss your feelings with him, the relationship is headed for rocky ground anyway. True freedom is being free to give yourself away. 31 Oct 09, 3:45 PM DignifiedXDisease US(WI), 3 yrs i find myself afraid to talk with him about my feelings because i think he will laugh. i do not necessarily need romantic love from him, but i do need slave love. in time he may feel that way, and i hope he does, but i feel like he does not currently have high hopes for a long term relationship. i want to change his mind. i dont think i am really a slave to him, but i am a submissive. he often takes time in which he does not talk to me as Master and we are able to converse intellectually (until its time for me to be submissive again) and i feel like more of a person because of this, and think it is a good thing for our relationship. at the same time, i hope soon this apprehension i have about talking to him will fade, if it does not i know i am in a bad relationship. Even as i see signs of failure or things to worry about, i refuse to let go of this. i dont know if that is good or bad... Posting with permission and constant supervision. May I someday wear his mark and collar. 31 Oct 09, 5:04 PM 297-440-487 US(CA), 2 yrs i feel your pain....i have walked in your shoes....my very first real life Master owned a slave and up front in the beginning i was told that i would never be owned by Him...that He would give me the training i was seeking in moving from online to real life ...but He would never fully be my Master.... i think that submissives do fall in love with their Master, trainer, mentor, ect....it is the depth that we expose ourselves...my trainer in every sense of the word was "Master" to me....i felt deeply....it only lasted a year....i too had the same hopes as you....that perhaps he would fall in love with me...that i could change Him...that if i surrendered all that i was how could He not fall in love with me and in the end own me...there is where the fatal flaw begins. You can change no one but yourself....it is very difficult when you want something and the other person is not on the same page...i will tell you it was the most wonderful year of my life....but in the end of that year it became more painful for me to continue with Him then to ask for release....i had to do alot of soul searching and it took me a while to find the strenght....but for my own mental well being....i knew i could not carry on.....that i owed it to myself to find everything that i needed....so i decided it was time to leave....i will not lie...it was the single hardest thing i ever did in my life....harder then divorce for me... For a long time after i left....i ached for Him ...qusitoning if i did the right thing....still to this day i have thoughts of Him....i will always carry a specail place in my heart for Him....i am greatful for the journey i did have with Him.....but leaving....now in retrospect was the right thing for me to do....how would i find what i needed if i had stayed...because bottom line....we try to change or hope to change another ....we always don't get what we want....the only thing we can control truely....is ourselves....eventually something clicked for me and i realized it...but it was a process and 6 months into it i would not of been able to do this.... i think you have been given alot of good advice here by some very wise people....i wish you the very best and i feel for you.....i know what your going though....where ever this leads....i hope in the end you will be able to look back and see that you grew....only you can make decisions and only in your own time....when the time is right you will make them....my heart felt sympathies to you ...as i know your pain....i hope that things turn out differently for you....good luck in finding your way and sorting though this. 31 Oct 09, 6:37 PM DignifiedXDisease US(WI), 3 yrs I know he does not want this to be a long term relationship. in some way i understand when his far away love returns he will be with her alone. in fact. i believe he may go to be with her in a year. some part of me wants to believe, liek you said, that i will change him. if i am good how can he not love me? if his other love is not submissive, he will grow bored of her! i know these are foolish thoughts.... i feel like i shouldnt be here. but again, it has gotten to where i feel i cannot leave... Posting with permission and constant supervision. May I someday wear his mark and collar. 1 Nov 09, 4:45 AM Master_Odin US(KS), 3 yrs 493-966-682 wrote: I know he does not want this to be a long term relationship. in some way i understand when his far away love returns he will be with her alone. in fact. i believe he may go to be with her in a year. some part of me wants to believe, liek you said, that i will change him. if i am good how can he not love me? if his other love is not submissive, he will grow bored of her! i know these are foolish thoughts.... i feel like i shouldnt be here. but again, it has gotten to where i feel i cannot leave... Ok, he told you upfront that he had no intention of loving you, that he had no intention of keeping you because he is in love with another woman and you went into this "relationship" anyway? You are staying hoping he will change his mind and discover that you are the true love of his life, right here under his nose? I am not wanting to be harsh here, but look how often you use the word, "feel" in your posts. You need to quit feeling and start thinking. Disposable relationships are fine for those that want them. If you didn't want a disposable relationship you shouldn't have entered one. Apparently he was up front with you. You are not being honest with him. He is not going to change his mind. He is not going to suddenly discover that he loves you. My advice is to keep whatever word you gave him, take the lesson, move on when you are tossed and choose your next "master" more wisely. Selah There is no authority, only responsibility. 1 Nov 09, 12:02 PM DignifiedXDisease US(WI), 3 yrs While i respect your post, i find it unnecessary. as for my conduct and way of thinking, i find that i use this as a place in which i allow myself to feel things where as other places i do not, and so it all sort of floods. some riotous part of me feels the need to defend myself, but that is both silly and unnecessary, your post was not an attack. I have talked about this wish Master, and i have met the girl he is in love with. last night, we all got together with friends, and i found myself not to be cheep amusement while she is gone, but that i fill a different role entirely and i am happy to know we three can be in this relationship together under full honesty and consent. i do not need romantic love from him, but i do need slave love. i need to know i am not easily replaced. i need to know he cares for me. last night, these things were known to me. he admits he may have pushed me a little far, early on, and he stopped last night to let me know he does care for me. we have established a safe word. i feel more connected to him, and less like he will leave if i am not what he thought. I think the most important distinction in my mind is i no longer care if all of you think this is not safe. (that is not to say your opinions are not valid, or to discredit the fact that you all have helped me.) i am able to make these choices in my mind clearly, and i feel i am in a safe relationship in which my Master has given me all the tools i need to serve him. we rushed into things a little more than either of us would have liked, but it helped us to see each-other better, and to know and trust each-other fully. Posting with permission and constant supervision. May I someday wear his mark and collar. 2 Nov 09, 4:44 PM 237-055-719 US(FL), 2 yrs Y! i have read your statement 3 times and i have something to say i love my MASTER with all my bein and i did not know how he felt about me until i asked him you see my MASTER also loves another and she will soon become my MISSTRES and i have come to except that with the knowledge that i will be part of his family and will be treated well (except if i am bad) so if you love him and he shows you affection than follow your heart 3 Nov 09, 3:46 PM 819-858-073 US, 2 yrs 297-440-487 wrote: i feel your pain....i have walked in your shoes....my very first real life Master owned a slave and up front in the beginning i was told that i would never be owned by Him...that He would give me the training i was seeking in moving from online to real life ...but He would never fully be my Master.... i think that submissives do fall in love with their Master, trainer, mentor, ect....it is the depth that we expose ourselves...my trainer in every sense of the word was "Master" to me....i felt deeply....it only lasted a year....i too had the same hopes as you....that perhaps he would fall in love with me...that i could change Him...that if i surrendered all that i was how could He not fall in love with me and in the end own me...there is where the fatal flaw begins. You can change no one but yourself....it is very difficult when you want something and the other person is not on the same page...i will tell you it was the most wonderful year of my life....but in the end of that year it became more painful for me to continue with Him then to ask for release....i had to do alot of soul searching and it took me a while to find the strenght....but for my own mental well being....i knew i could not carry on.....that i owed it to myself to find everything that i needed....so i decided it was time to leave....i will not lie...it was the single hardest thing i ever did in my life....harder then divorce for me... For a long time after i left....i ached for Him ...qusitoning if i did the right thing....still to this day i have thoughts of Him....i will always carry a specail place in my heart for Him....i am greatful for the journey i did have with Him.....but leaving....now in retrospect was the right thing for me to do....how would i find what i needed if i had stayed...because bottom line....we try to change or hope to change another ....we always don't get what we want....the only thing we can control truely....is ourselves....eventually something clicked for me and i realized it...but it was a process and 6 months into it i would not of been able to do this.... i think you have been given alot of good advice here by some very wise people....i wish you the very best and i feel for you.....i know what your going though....where ever this leads....i hope in the end you will be able to look back and see that you grew....only you can make decisions and only in your own time....when the time is right you will make them....my heart felt sympathies to you ...as i know your pain....i hope that things turn out differently for you....good luck in finding your way and sorting though this. Nice post! 3 Nov 09, 6:12 PM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs 493-966-682 wrote: I think the most important distinction in my mind is i no longer care if all of you think this is not safe. (that is not to say your opinions are not valid, or to discredit the fact that you all have helped me.) I am a bit confused!! I have been reading this but do not see where anyone has said you are unsafe or in an unsafe relationship. Maybe I missed it. The only thing I may see as unsafe might be your mindset. You seem to go back and forth on your thoughts, but I suppose, that's part of the purpose of asking for advice. If you know in your mind and your heart that you do not need the romantic, happily ever after kind of love, then you will be happy and fulfilled. If you have doubts at all, then think on it and talk them over with your Master. Decide what you want for your future because in the end, only you can make your life what you want it to be. Others can enhance or diminish any happiness or goals you have set but ultimately you guide your own destiny. All the best to you in your journey. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away Next page