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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Dignity in O&P" 1 2 Dignity in O&P (13) This post is on the O&P web board. 16 Nov 09, 2:05 PM 857-875-414 2 yrs Tanos wrote: [snip] When you read that nowadays and imagine being in a shopping mall, isn't it interesting that dignity prompts you to defy current social convention, and remember who is there to make who's life easier? This is especially true for M/f people, where there are some strong negative stereotypes of men that people want to avoid (eg abuser, slob, lazy etc.) Regards, Tanos This I find interesting. I was always brought up to believe, 'by my Grandmother' that it is a mans job to carry bags for a lady. In my relationship however, I have found that, I carry bags and do all I can to make my Masters life easier. However it has taken me some-time to get rid of the little voice in my head saying to me 'it's gentlemanly for the man to carry the bags'. I'm getting there though *slowly* 17 Nov 09, 3:02 AM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs This reminds me of a time long ago when I was shopping with a friend. She was a sub, but not my sub, and had no power exchange obligation to me. We were not emotionally intimate, just friends. However, she tended to "leak" submissive behaviors at naturally dominant people anyway. The groceries were bagged, and we both grabbed for the bags, and there was a momentary tussle for them. I don't even remember who got them; I'm sure that the surprise on both our faces each took the other aback. In the car, I said, "What the heck was up with that?" She asked, "Why did you try to take the bags?" I said, "I was being butch!" She said, "I was being servile!" We both laughed. But now if I'm out with a service-oriented sub, no matter whose they are, I wait that extra few seconds to see if they're going to get the bags, and let them. Why should I work? -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 17 Nov 09, 1:46 PM SnowDancer NO, 2 yrs ravenkaldera wrote: We both laughed. But now if I'm out with a service-oriented sub, no matter whose they are, I wait that extra few seconds to see if they're going to get the bags, and let them. Why should I work? Hehe, I see that one. When I'm shopping with my best friend, I most always carry the bags, I used to think it was because she usually held the wallet, but it just feels natural. Besides, she's got back problems and can stay up longer if I carry the grocheries. I also tend to grab for the bags when I'm visiting friends and we're shopping for dinner. Manners dictates that I should not offer to pay because I'm their guest, and as a "compensation" I take the bags. Usually this is ok (another friend once realized that I had grabbed all the bags and she had none, making her feel bad, but I assured her it was completly ok), but with one friend in particular he still gives me slightly weird looks, and we usually end up with 50/50. When I'm shopping with friends and we're all paying for our own food (student hostel) I carry my own bags, and a bag or two for friends if they ask because they always end up with much more than me. As far as dignity is concerned. It seemed from the OP that it was mostly a trait for the dominant. And that might be true in some cases, but I know that in a relationship, I'd still maintain some dignity (and naturally having a dominant that allows me to keep my dignity). For instance, I wouldn't eat out of a dog bowl on the floor. I'm simply not that kind of submissive. I would find dignity in things like a clean home and serving good food (like. It's below my dignity to use food that's gone bad). With that train of thought, I think subs definatly can have a good chunk of dignity as well.