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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "A question for subs not living with their Masters" 1 2 A question for subs not living with their Masters (18) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 19 Oct 09, 7:42 AM slave_monika39 US(CO), 2 yrs Personally i think that it will take several starts and stops before you find a Master that You even really like, and to find one you can have strong feelings for, which i think is the goal, will take even longer. Yes, you will find casual hookups, you will find men who just want to cheat and not really want much more than sex, you will find wanna bes who who have less of a clue than you do. You will also find those who want to play, but dont want to be a real Master...but at least they will be open with You about it. Actually, those guys are at least informative and educational if you are lucky to find ones with reasonable experience. You will also find subs who list themselves as doms in hopes of finding a switch who might want to become a Domina....those were particularly annoying to me when i first started looking for Master...You will have to experiment, and you will have to have a few "probabably shouldn't have done that" experiences. Personally i think all of these are useful to really understand what you want so you will see it when you get it. BE SAFE. TAKE APPROPRIATE SAFETY PRECAUTIONS. TALK BEFORE YOU FUCK OR PLAY...it is all part of finding the One. It took me two years of looking and two years of being cultivated by my Master before my service really began...and i APPRECIATE every minute of it and it is so wonderful. Good Luck slave Monika slave_monika39 20 Oct 09, 4:02 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs slave_monika39 wrote: Personally i think that it will take several starts and stops before you find a Master that You even really like, and to find one you can have strong feelings for, which i think is the goal, will take even longer. Yes, you will find casual hookups, you will find men who just want to cheat and not really want much more than sex, you will find wanna bes who who have less of a clue than you do. You will also find those who want to play, but dont want to be a real Master... Yes, it certainly helps to have patience when you are searching for the right Dom/Master. It also helps to take your time and not settle for someone who you may know in your heart is not suited for you. If you know yourself, your needs and wants, it will help to cross a lot of those from the above post off your list right at the start. Maybe I am one of the lucky ones. It took me one start. We talked for hours over our first coffee together and went from there. But, we both knew. I was as prepared as I knew how to be. Be safe, be smart and never settle for less than you feel you deserve. 333-528-841 Life shouldn't be measured by the breaths you take; but by the moments that take your breath away 21 Oct 09, 8:31 PM 955-811-277 2 yrs I agree with 'owned & loved'. Sounds like a player / manipulator. My advice, move on. As for 'what is normal' there are guidelines, no matter what the circumstances. He's outside any guidelines I'd accept & it sounds like he's outside yours too. Take care. 21 Oct 09, 8:54 PM 634-300-474 UK, 2 yrs Good luck with your journey into service. Patience,as almost everyone else has said,is the key,and on top of that,being sensible,and careful. It's taken me years to find the Lady who owns me,but it has been well worth the wait! Mistress Melanie's property. 26 Oct 09, 10:26 PM charlenebrown UK, 7 yrs Hi Shannon, For what it is worth, it took me almost 20 years to find my right Domme, and actually it happened almost by accident. it is very much akin to vanilla life in some respects and i think itis often more difficcult for a submissive as our perspective is 'self-sustaining' and we can more easily be open to abuse ..... Just my thoughts, and now i am deleriously happy. Hope this helps to encourage you to keep looking charlene 29 Oct 09, 7:44 PM shannond US(CA), 2 yrs 20 years! lol 29 Oct 09, 8:03 PM 139-715-032 US(MA), 6 yrs If the first thing a guy wants when he meets you is oral sex, then I'd suspect he's thinking with his penis. This is bad news for almost any long term relationship. Penises have short attentions spans, and penises make promises they have no intention of keeping. Casual sex-based relationships can be fun, but you can't take them too seriously. If the first time a guy meets you for sex it is at his office, I'd suspect he has a wife and kids. -- Joshua Raven's Boy, Joshua, is a wholly owned subsidiary of Raven Kaldera. You may contact Joshua directly with any questions or comments at josh@cauldronfarm.com, or contact Raven at cauldronfarm@hotmail.com. 30 Oct 09, 3:33 PM DignifiedXDisease US(WI), 3 yrs What I will say is this. If you feel safe with him, this is alright. Him not answering is something my Dom does, and he tends to surprise me with contact. This is not bad unless it is something which you find a serious problem. as for him asking you to meet him like that, you need to know whether or not you want to move this quickly or if this is right for you. I stress that if you can trust your Dom, and you feel safe with him, then you do not need to worry about "normal" behavior. you also need to think, is this safe? is he trying to hide something? you need to get to know him without sex being the main component first. remember he is not interested in you yet, he does not know you. he wants your body and your submission. your submission is a gift, and i dont think he deserves it yet, and any good Dom is willing to earn it. Posting with permission and constant supervision. May I someday wear his mark and collar. Edited 30 Oct 09, 3:36 PM by DignifiedXDisease 25 Jul 10, 7:59 PM 321-347-898 CA, 21 mths £ Is this "normal" dom behaviour. Goodness... i really am going to probably get alot of heat for being so outspoken... but the truth is NO that isn't normal dom behaviour. Truth-be-told i would say he falls into the cybergeek poser category. Early on in my own self-awakening i met a few men online. i made quite a few good friends for whom i still connect with. They watch out for me, still give me guidance and so on ... even though none of the relationships progressed to anything meaningful or physical. Why? Because the d/s dynamic is exceptionally rare to find. A true dom... not a poser... one who is committed to the lifestyle and potentially to a real connection is rare. Similarily, a submissive/slave that is not just experimenting and willing to give their life, trust and obedience over to another - equally as difficult to find without any serious psychological baggage. That being said - in your case i would say you were duped. He was a poser pretenting to be a DOM when he really was just a predator. They lurk the websites and boards. So as a submissive you have to be careful!!!! Have your own screening process -- you absolutely need to!!! To be safe. Giving yourself so easily to someone else - well that just makes the gift meaningless in the end no? There are a great deal of amazing articles on the web outlining how a submissive should screen a dominant. What acid tests they should use - and personality traits they should really consider. A big dealbreaker when interviewing a dominant is easy - how committed are they to their former subs and their well-being? How committed are they to the lifestyle? For me ... i could NEVER date a 2nd lifer. Meaning someone who was seeking a sub on the side. i know i could never trust Him... nor would i be able to give myself to the depths they needed to feel true freedom in their station. And believe me -- this is harder to find than you think. i have to say i am probably one of the toughest nuts to crack when it came to finding a dominant. i know i wanted this lifestyle -- it was just a matter of finding someone worthy of what i could offer -- and finding a dominant who (more so) gifted me their time in a genuine way. in my case i was VERY lucky to have rekindled a love with my first love from University. He had always been in the background - controlling me from afar - and in many ways shaped me to be His when He was ready. Now we are together - and i wouldn't trade hearing "i love you" or "you are my whore" whispered in my ear any day!!!! To serve Him and His happiness means everything to me!!! 26 Jul 10, 8:41 AM Sir_Aldric 4 yrs shannond wrote: I'd like to know is this normal Dom behavior??? I personally consider it very normal that a Dom/Master keeps the promises & commitments he makes towards his slave & others, feels responsible for the mental and physical well being of his slave and controls & guides his slave in life. "Normal" as in a basic requirement to earn the title.. To my opinion, Sir Aldric Relax, life is too short to get upset.