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	TSR : Web boards : O&P : "Structure in O&P" 1 2 3 Structure in O&P (24) This post is on the O&P web board. Thu 1 Oct 09, 8:28 PM Tanos UK, 14 yrs Y! I've seen 24/7 D/s and especially M/s described as "structured relationships" in the past, notably by Jack McGeorge who died recently. O&P explicitly refers to the way the structure of these relationships provides clarity and purpose, as people know where they stand in the hierarchy and what are supposed to be doing. For O&P dominants, structure enables the level of control and authority they've chosen to establish. For O&P submissives, structure frees them from the need to second-guess their dominant and means that the manipulation and unstated quid pro quo of many relationships, especially many vanilla relationships, are absent. And rather more grandly, structure promotes purpose. People are happier and healthier when they feel their life has a worthwhile purpose, and deciding what structure to have raises the question of what you're aiming for, and what are trying to achieve. How do you feel about structure? Not so much the specifics, but rather that it's there? Regards, Tanos www.tanos.org.uk 2 Oct 09, 2:02 PM 902-660-194 US(PA), 6 yrs i get lost without structure. when for one reason or another it gets relaxed i get all messed up, cant think, do things wrong, forget rules, anxious & scared. structure keeps me functioning ~peace the sting of His whip~ the welts from His crop~ the warmth of His kiss~ the click of the lock~ assures me i am His most cherished possession.. 2 Oct 09, 4:27 PM De_Luxe UK, 3 yrs Our structure suits us both in the sense of the structural models we intuitively favour and in the purpose of the structure providing a nurturing framework and consistent environment. It promotes feelings of harmony in us both. We have one predominant structural model and a secondary one which materialises in certain circumstances. Both feel natural. I feel understood and relaxed and my boy says he feels 'comfortable and relaxed'. 2 Oct 09, 8:36 PM 671-906-967 CA, 2 yrs The highly structured environment created and enforced by my owner has helped me settle comfortably into her service. This question made me seriously review my thoughts on this structure and I now realize that it is what helped me through the years of conditioning leading to my present Internal Enslavement. It freed me from many extraneous thoughts that would have made it more difficult. 30 Oct 09, 3:58 PM 671-906-967 CA, 2 yrs Very well said. It expresses my thoughts better than I could have done myself. 2 Jan 10, 9:56 PM 186-306-559 US(NC), 2 yrs As a slave, structure is very important to me. Whenever I have been in a relationship with a dominant and there was not the right amount of structure, I felt very anxious and unsure. This often led to me being manipulative in some way for the sole purpose of seeing how the dominant would react. I am now in a relationship where there is structure and I no longer feel the need to manipulate on any level. Tanos wrote: Structure in O&P I've seen 24/7 D/s and especially M/s described as "structured relationships" in the past, notably by Jack McGeorge who died recently. O&P explicitly refers to the way the structure of these relationships provides clarity and purpose, as people know where they stand in the hierarchy and what are supposed to be doing. For O&P dominants, structure enables the level of control and authority they've chosen to establish. For O&P submissives, structure frees them from the need to second-guess their dominant and means that the manipulation and unstated quid pro quo of many relationships, especially many vanilla relationships, are absent. And rather more grandly, structure promotes purpose. People are happier and healthier when they feel their life has a worthwhile purpose, and deciding what structure to have raises the question of what you're aiming for, and what are trying to achieve. How do you feel about structure? Not so much the specifics, but rather that it's there? Regards, Tanos 3 Jan 10, 1:27 AM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs Structure's always been a hard one for me. I work jobs that are very unstructured and anything could happen at any minute. I thrive in a free environment where I can decide what to do at any given time. I like the challenge of new things appearing on the horizon to be dealt with. I chafe under too many rules, and my life is such that too many rules prevent me from doing my jobs. My slave is the exact opposite of this. He would love to live in a monastery where every minute of his day would be planned out, and he'd do the same thing every day. It's been really, really hard for him to adapt. I'd say that one of the most challenging things I've had to do is to find structures and rules that he can hold onto that don't cramp my style, and that I appreciate enough to be able to bring myself to enforce. I've gone down the road of "make-rules", creating structure that suits the slave in order to make them feel more secure, and I've found that I eventually (in some cases quickly) slack off of enforcing them, because they don't mean anything to me. I've had to fish through my life and find the things that I *do* want to be always the same way and reliably appear, and build his rules around those. -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 14 Jan 10, 1:41 AM 153-699-127 US(MN), 4 yrs Y! When I don't have any type of structure in my life I tend to live in chaos. I am some what of a free spirit by nature and highly creative. Mistress has done and excellent job of creating enough structure for me so I can thrive in my day to day life as well as allowing me to be creative. 14 Jan 10, 2:05 AM 898-443-818 US, 4 yrs Certainly as a slave, i would not be happy without structure. However my Master is a bit more like Raven. He owns his own business, i work for Him, and part of the joy of being a Master to Him, is to be able to wake up and decide He's taking the day off, even if five minutes ago, He said He'd be out all day. Accordingly, i can be in the office/house for days at a time, or i can be out working for a few days in a row. So while i crave structure, i have to be ready to do an about face on just about anything. i have several rules that are simply in place no matter what. i have some rules that are more practical in the home then we are both out. i also have learned to adapt that my role as a slave owned by my particular Master is that He doesn't have the time or will to micromanage me on every single topic, just on a few that are important to Him. i behave because it is my job and what i have been told to me. i will not usually be immediately punished for missing a few rules-but it behooves me to remember them and abide by them the best i can. It pleases Master and makes life go much smoother. We are probably more prone to changes in routine and structure because of the nature of our lives. When i need more, i try to tell Master. He also knows me well enough to see what is happening and will nip it in the bud with a stern talking to. Sometimes i wish things were more stictly bound with discipline but... i love our life together and i wouldn't trade it for anyting. It is my challenge to develop some self discipline for the times when Master is busy, and He can simply look at His well behaved slave and smile inside. 898-443-818 Edited 14 Jan 10, 2:07 AM by 898-443-818 14 Jan 10, 4:36 AM 688-681-918 US(OR), 2 yrs I am aware of the boundaries of the Dominant I admire and I adhere to the structure she has set forth in my day to day. I find that her clarity is very helpful and I feel safer and protected with them in place. For anything worth having, one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice ~no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service. ~John Burroughs 29 Mar 10, 1:08 PM MasterRsfaggot US(OK), 2 yrs structure is vital for a slave to perform optimally. A slave can be "made" to do certain things, but will happily do them (and do them better) if there are rules and enforcement. I'm not sure if it's that way for all slaves, that's just my opinion. Next page