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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Assistance with eating disorder" 1 2 3 Assistance with eating disorder (21) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board (moved from Internal Enslavement). Wed 22 Jul 09, 5:13 AM Blissful_Deviant AU, 2 yrs Heyya. I know that eating/food restrictions etc have been discussed in here but I have a slightly different question. For as long as I can remember I've had "issues" with food - diagnosed as anorexic by age 11, went through bouts of bulemia all throughout my teens, continue to have very poor eating habits. For me food is punishment - I see it as a poison to punish myself with ((not all the time - just when I get into a certain state...)). Anyhow, it's completely unhealthy and I worry about the effect it could have on my relationship with my Owner - who happens to LOVE food. I do too, sometimes, but... Over-all I have huge issues with it. Anyhow. My Owner did not realise the extent to my mental deficiency in relation to food (I am completely humiliated by it) and.... Okay long story short, I told him everything and he was a bit amazed at how nutso I can be, and then I asked him to take control over that aspect of my life - for example, when I am in the mood to binge, or I feel the urge to vomit, I will go to him with it and he can tell me what to do. This way, I'm not fighting my own urges I am obeying my Owner. So far so good. I found that reminding myself that it is pleasing to my Owner when I obey him, and that I was following his instructions by not bingeing, rather than putting off something I wanted to do, made me crave it less. I suppose this topic is for two things: to express my relief at being able to own up to this behaviour and get assistance with it, and also to ask for advice. Have any of you guys on here been through something similar to this? I have been doing these damaging behaviours for more than half my life, it's not as easy as to simply say "stop doing it". Any advice on ... How to approach this situation would be helpful.... Thanks xo Bliss Oh PS I put this in this area because ... It's another control thing - pushing us further than we were in our TPE arrangement... Is that alright? ha ha Edited Wed 22 Jul 09, 5:23 AM by Blissful_Deviant 22 Jul 09, 6:22 AM slave_of_The_Tesh US(FL), 2 yrs I actually struggled with anorexia for a long time. One is never fully "recovered" from such a disorder, but I have a handle on mine. When I get extremely stressed, my appetite disappears, and I told Master at the beginning of our relationship about my past issues with food and eating. Like you, I gave Him control of that and He knows to look out for the behavior patterns and triggers. I would suggest that you warn your owner in advance to what your triggers are and what your behavior patterns look like, so that in case you get lost in it he can help bring you back. Practically speaking for you to keep a handle on it, I suggest looking up dietary needs for a person your gender and age, and making up a chart that shows what you need throughout the day. As you eat the things listed on the chart, check them off. Alternatively, you could keep a food diary of what you eat throughout the day and show it to your master at the end of the evening. Both of these serve as a visual accountability tool for you, and a way for your owner to make sure you're getting enough. Owned by The_Tesh This post has probably been edited for spelling/grammar because I'm weird like that. 22 Jul 09, 9:00 AM mr_dave UK, 3 yrs Y! One question I would like to ask is, have you been 100% honest with your Owner? Have you told him all your triggers, what food types you tend to binge on, how and where you hide your supplies, how you cover your not eating or binge/vomit behaviours? I have lived with a slave who had a seesaw bulimia / anorexia / relatively normal eating pattern. For the Master to help with / take control of effectively, information is vital. 22 Jul 09, 9:46 AM Blissful_Deviant AU, 2 yrs Thank you both for your comments That is such a great idea - having a chart. I am a very visual and task oriented girl, so that would work perfectly for me - so simple and yet so effective. At the moment my Owner is over-seas and will not be back for another few weeks, so we haven't been able to go into as deeply as we will. He knows what I binge on and what sets me off - that said, sometimes it is something specific, a certain sort of situation, and sometimes I snap for no reason so that will be a bit harder to predict BUT he does know me well enough to know when something is wrong - he just didn't fully comprehend that THAT was what I was doing to cope with the situation. He knew I was a bit weird about food, but not to this extent. My sister found ahh the evidence of one of my binges, that I had hidden. She sat me down and said "If you have to hide what you're doing, you shouldn't be doing it. If you have to hide what you're eating, you know you're eating it for the wrong reason". It was a big wake-up call, given that she is a teenager and yet has the wisdom to see that. My Owner and I will go into it more when he gets back... I've had such a huge wave of relief wash over me since we began speaking about it. In a way, I feel a bit "more" owned and loved and taken care of now that he knows... Is that really sad? Ha ha. At the same time though, I feel a little guilty/stupid, placing all of this on him, like I can't look after myself? I want to be healthy and at my best for him, I feel stupid that I have to depend on him right now in order to get healthy. Thanks for the advice guys 22 Jul 09, 10:17 AM mr_dave UK, 3 yrs Y! All I can say is "goog luck", this is one of those things without a quick fix and will require patience from everyone involved. But your health is the goal so is worth the effort. 28 Jul 09, 11:09 PM Kaledorus US, 5 yrs It always astounds me to see the extent that women of European backgrounds,i.e. UK, Australia, United States, have such poor body images. This is the result of planned, orchestrated, assault upon women's psyche. You can see this in the ads on television, in the magazines and so forth. One minute they show an ad for junk food next is a weight-loss commercial, or a "fitness" commercial. Then the women's magazines. Usually a photo, in the housekeeping sort, of a gooey cake on the cover alongside articles listed as "QUICK WEIGHT LOSS TIPS" and so forth. Then glamour magazines always depicting anorexic women as the ideal, and you get the idea. This is not by chance. The women have been "messed with" psychologically. The wounds are so deep, so widespread that it is a Master's job, I feel, to undo, to the extent humanly possible, the brainwashing. To "deprogram" the slave. If there is a hell I hope those fashion and others in the advertising world and so-called government agencies for "health" all go there. It is an insult to the porcine species to call these creatures, swine. When you "submit" to or "dominate" someone in a situation where safewords are used and when limitations are negotiated, you are not actually submitting or dominating at all - you are playing at it. 2 Aug 09, 4:31 PM The_Captain1974 2 yrs Prior to responding, I went into your profile and looked at your photos. Dear child, you do not have an eating disorder nor is your body a problem. What you have is a problem with a lie. The lie is that you somehow must change who or what you are. Honestly, what I saw is a lucious, well formed and healthy woman. Your Master is a fortunate man to have your body to enjoy. You should be proud to offer your Master every inch of yourself, proud because you are beautiful and lush. You are right to tell your Master of your problem, to allow him to understand and give you the sustainment you need. It is a shame that the world gives such a distorted, false image of what a woman should look like. You have a woman's body, not some little waif's frame that might break in half the first time she taken for her Master's pleasure. Enjoy who you are, give yourself fully to your Master, revel in the lush, fertile body you live in. Look at the lies of the world and spit on them. 2 Aug 09, 6:09 PM Blissful_Deviant AU, 2 yrs With all due respect, I mentioned that I have multiple issues with food that have been expressed in various ways throughout my life - anorexia as a child, bulemia as a teen, and now excessive bingeing... I am fully aware that I do not look like someone with that history presently Thanks for the compliments on the lush bod though ha ha As an update: I haven't binged since I told Sir I do it... I have gone back to throwing up but ... I've been open about it and gotten permission for it... Baby steps peeps, baby steps 2 Aug 09, 8:10 PM SeanT70 9 yrs The_Captain1974 wrote: Prior to responding, I went into your profile and looked at your photos. Dear child, you do not have an eating disorder nor is your body a problem. Cap'n, just because you go to a profile and read and see about the 'here and now', it doesn't give rise to reading and seeing into what was the full 'there and then' in someone's history here. I'm not an anorectic, nor bulemic, but simply because you don't 'see' something in front of you, it doesn't mean it isn't - or wasn't - there; hell, those pics might not 'be' Bliss for all you know (I'm not saying they're not Bliss, you know what I mean ) Now, all I'm suggesting is this; perhaps you would do well to cast less aspersions on something or someone you know little or nothing about; after all anyone that knows anything about half of these problems, would know that half of them are in the mind, rather than the body itself, hence perhaps why you can't see them at all. The physical eating/lack of/vomitting, etc is only symptomatic; not the 'problem at all. I'm not 'covered' in scars either, but talk to the 'knife' that makes them when I have one in my hand. It's all relative when you consider it carefully. This post was written with all due respect - oddly. Take care, Bliss. Sean. Lovingly Owned by *~ LadyPhay ~* 2 Aug 09, 8:21 PM Ou_pais US, 5 yrs So, i'm not at all an expert on eating disorders, but . . . one part of it is that food-related behaviors are coping mechanisms that become maladaptive, just like obsessive-compulsive behavior patterns, cutting, drugs, etc, some of which i know a little bit more about. So building new coping strategies can be useful. You don't mention whether you've worked on that already, although i'm sure you have whether consciously or unconsciously or you wouldn't still be here. One coping strategy, of course, is leaning on your owner for help, which it does sound like you're doing, and hopefully he'll do his research and figure out how he can help you beyond giving you permission to purge. Since i already posted a link to my essay on coping with difficult emotions on the anger control thread, i guess i might as well re-post it here: http://paganbdsm.org/brokentoys/misc_emotions.ht... Again, i'm not an expert on eating disorders and the essay wasn't written with that focus, but perhaps there are some ideas in there that might help. pais 14 Sep 09, 1:03 PM Blissful_Deviant AU, 2 yrs Hey all, just posting an update I haven't binged or purged or done any of my "crazy" behaviours since the last time I posted on here :D Sir let me purge a couple of times while we were still figuring things out, but we seem to have things under control for now. I explained the feeling I get at those times to Sir as a thick, dark green balloon expanding in my chest that gets bigger and bigger and builds such pressure that I can't speak or breathe, and that those behaviours were my way of bursting that balloon and easing the pressure. Once Sir understood this, he started working on ways to burst that balloon... So bizarre that this is something that I don't even understand, and everything I have tried has never worked, and yet he can figure it out and make it go away... What the??? Hehe It's early days yet but I've gotta say, I have the most amazing Owner Part of my progress has been getting a completely new perspective... The other day, he compared a part of my body to someone else, saying how much be preferred that part on me than on her. I disagreed with him. He smacked me, and corrected me, explaining that he said it, and I am his, and therefore it is so.... If that makes sense? I dunno, there was just a huge revelation for me at that moment. Like I'd committed my mind and soul and offered up my body to him, but still kept my opinions on my body... When really, I should be considering what he thinks, right? Hard to explain ha ha Anyway, just wanted to write and say things are good! Thanks for the advice, I've taken it on board. One of the other things I am doing is asking Sir what to eat at different times - he is slowly changing my perspective, so I can start to see food as not only an important nourishment but also as something to enjoy. Things are good! xx Next page