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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "The Poly Chain" The Poly Chain (6) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Thu 9 Jul 09, 12:20 PM Master_Maz US(HI), 2 yrs Y! Just wanted to get some feedback on others expirences. I recently have a trainee who is very new to the scene, but has a great willingness to learn. Her and I were dating seriously before she expressed an interest in the lifestyle. as well, I have also found a switch that we are both interested in (female) and we want to try a poly relationship. I tend to get worried about the two, one getting jelouse over the other, or some issue between my trainee and Myself. Ive laid out a few ground rules, including expressing problems with me or with the three of us together. Im just curious as to what others expirences are, and if they have any advice to offer. Master_Maz 10 Jul 09, 9:24 PM Master_Odin US(KS), 3 yrs Master_Maz wrote: The Poly Chain Just wanted to get some feedback on others expirences. I recently have a trainee who is very new to the scene, but has a great willingness to learn. Her and I were dating seriously before she expressed an interest in the lifestyle. as well, I have also found a switch that we are both interested in (female) and we want to try a poly relationship. I tend to get worried about the two, one getting jelouse over the other, or some issue between my trainee and Myself. Ive laid out a few ground rules, including expressing problems with me or with the three of us together. Im just curious as to what others expirences are, and if they have any advice to offer. Master_Maz Welcome to the list. I am just beginning a poly relationship with my slave and a submissive. There is a poster on this list, Raven Kaldera, who is an author. I have his book, "Pagan Polyamory" which I recommend highly as a beginning primer. While I am not Pagan, the book is well written and full of first hand accounts from practicing poly people addressing everyday issues as well as religious ones. In my opinion it well worth the study even if Pagan isn't your religion of choice. Raven has done extensive posting in this forum and reading his posts would be most enlighten on many M/s topics including poly. Good luck. Selah. There is no authority, only responsibility. 12 Jul 09, 8:18 AM Lord_Of_Atonement US, 2 yrs In my personal opinion I would feel poly must be saved for those who are more serious about the D/s aspect of the lifestyle versus actual love. If the D/s is the main concern and similar point of interest, a poly may very well work. However when actual love comes into play, I feel it may very often show its head and cause problems with multiple partners. I know some people are able to manage it with no problems at all, but I know I could never possibly have another slave. I guess what you really have to ask is whether or not you want a life based around love or a life based around D/s. 12 Jul 09, 8:32 AM Cor_Cordis 2 yrs Lord_Of_Atonement wrote: In my personal opinion I would feel poly must be saved for those who are more serious about the D/s aspect of the lifestyle versus actual love. If the D/s is the main concern and similar point of interest, a poly may very well work. However when actual love comes into play, I feel it may very often show its head and cause problems with multiple partners. I know some people are able to manage it with no problems at all, but I know I could never possibly have another slave. I guess what you really have to ask is whether or not you want a life based around love or a life based around D/s. Don't be silly, Master, a love can be split 17 different ways equally. Cor, you're so clever with your prime number math jokes. Uhmm, I don't know about other slaves, but I'd be rather upset if I had to share Master. It wouldn't work for me like McCain wouldn't work for Obama. Never had any experience with poly, and never will (unless I go to jail), but my advice (based on my personal fears) is to keep your focus on who, not what, you love. I don't think I deserve this selflessness. Find your way into my heart. 13 Jul 09, 2:29 AM Ou_pais US, 5 yrs Lord_Of_Atonement wrote: In my personal opinion I would feel poly must be saved for those who are more serious about the D/s aspect of the lifestyle versus actual love. If the D/s is the main concern and similar point of interest, a poly may very well work. However when actual love comes into play, I feel it may very often show its head and cause problems with multiple partners. I know some people are able to manage it with no problems at all, but I know I could never possibly have another slave. I guess what you really have to ask is whether or not you want a life based around love or a life based around D/s. Hmm, i completely disagree. Poly was much easier for me in relationships that were less M/s. Nor would i say there is less love in my current relationship because it is more intensely M/s than my prior relationships, or more love simply because it is less poly. It always causes me to wonder why when people who aren't M/s or who aren't poly feel the need to post "Here is my opinion on the matter, but I could never do that." It's like saying, "Here is my opinion on the scenery in Germany, although I don't believe I could ever visit Europe." To the OP--my favorite poly article is http://www.xeromag.com/fvpolyrefrigerator.html Even though it's not necessarily about M/s or D/s relationships, it still can be applicable. For me, i think if Master were to decide to return fully to poly, it would be helpful to have really specific instructions on how to handle different emotions that might arise, different coping skills. One of the biggest problems for me is waiting, (yes, i know, slaves are supposed to be patient) so help from Him dealing with that in one way or another if He were out with somebody else would be crucial. One thing i would also say is that in my experience i can't force myself to care about somebody more than i naturally care. So--it's not clear from your post whether you're hoping for a completely equilateral triangle, or whether you're planning on being more of the center of a V. Having been in situations twice where someone was really invested in having it be a triangle when what was more natural to the others involved was closer to a V--it wasn't pretty. pais 14 Jul 09, 12:55 PM Ev_Jinna US(IL), 2 yrs This is an issue near and dear to my heart recently. i think it's probably quite natural for an s to have deep emotional feelings for a D - just comes with the territory (?) When D is poly, and s is just one of several girls, how can she get perspective? i am tempted to try to distance myself emotionally - to protect my heart - but that doesn't seem right. Plus, i like girls. Not in a sexual way, but i have a lot of girl friends. i enjoy each and every one of them. i know, however, from previous experience that not all girls are like me. Some just don't like other women - they feel threatened by each and every one. i steer clear of them. i've yet to meet Sir's other girls. i think, though i obviously won't know until the time comes, that i will just naturally mesh with them, like i do with most other women. If they don't like other girls, than there will be problems. i probably shouldn't put the cart before the horse, eh? Edited 14 Jul 09, 12:57 PM by Ev_Jinna 22 Sep 09, 4:18 AM 186-306-559 US(NC), 2 yrs I was in a poly relationship previously. Master had me and two other slaves. We all began with Him at approximately the same time. There was a lot of jealousy between us. I did my best to work out my feelings, knowing that Master wanted us all to be good sister slaves to one another. I also came to realize that Master's feelings for his other 2 slaves did not affect the way He felt about me as His slave. Still, the other two slaves were always being manipulative, trying to cause problems. One slave in particular did her best to try and make me jealous. She would also badmouth Master behind His back to me, trying to make me think less of Him. I wanted to tell Him what she was doing but was afraid it would look like I was also being manipulative and trying to get her in trouble. I decided to just keep to myself and do what I was supposed to, and hope that Master would discover the true nature of the other 2 slaves on His own. Almost a year has passed and the other 2 slaves were released due to the many problems they caused for Master. I am still with Him and we have never been happier. I know deep down that Master loves the poly life, but was a bit upset by what happened last year. In time, I believe He will seek another slave to bring into our group. I just hope I can keep my jealousy intact. I know that He cares for me...and I want to please Him